Re: i learned about myself on the internet

1

Doesn't it give you five choices for each zip? Who did you decide you weren't?

No pool? No b-ball? Whatever do you do with yourself?

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2

No matter what segmentation used, my zip code returns synonyms for "insufferable prick." for example:

05 High Asset Suburban Boomers

16 Affluent Renters

10 Young Savvy Elites

02 Affluent Retired

08 Metro Elite Boomers

31 Urban Achievers

16 Bohemian Mix

07 Money & Brains

04 Young Digerati

29 American Dreams

I despise myself!

(Although, "American Dreams" is a saving grace...)

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3

I hear you, baa.

07 Money & Brains

01 Upper Crust

04 Young Digerati

16 Bohemian Mix

29 American Dreams

I'll bet your neighbors and my neighbors would get along famously.

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4

"In their funky rowhouses and apartments, Bohemian Mixers are the early adopters who are quick to check out the latest movie, nightclub, laptop and microbrew. "

Kill me now.

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5

At least I'm keeping it real

47 City Startups

53 Mobility Blues

60 Park Bench Seniors

44 New Beginnings

35 Boomtown Singles

My (neighbor)hood is actually a lot more interesting than this suggests

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6

"They excel in going to movies"? This is a skill upon which one can improve? Demand excellence. Demand it.

Mine:

44 New Beginnings

22 Young Influentials

19 Home Sweet Home

23 Greenbelt Sports

08 Executive Suites

.00001 Smug Smartass

Guess they pegged me.

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7

Notice how affirming these labels try to be. I plugged in the zip from the poorest county in the country, and these are the results.

48 Young & Rustic

57 Old Milltowns

58 Back Country Folks

56 Crossroads Villagers

55 Golden Ponds

Can't wait to move.

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8

Whatever do you do with yourself?

Ha. You don't want to know.

Another candidate for the country's poorest county-- Buffalo County, SD-- gets us to this result for its largest city, Fort Thompson (57339):

Bedrock America consists of young, economically challenged families in small, isolated towns located throughout the nation's heartland. With modest educations, sprawling families and blue-collar jobs, many of these residents struggle to make ends meet. One quarter live in mobile homes. One in three haven't finished high school. Rich in scenery, Bedrock America is a haven for fishing, hunting, hiking and camping.

And this is the only category.

Sounds grim, but thank God-- there are some fun recreational activities in Bedrock America:

1. Go fresh-water fishing
2. Buy kids' bicycles
3. Read Baby magazines
4. Watch Days of Our Lives
5. Drive a Chevy S10 pickup

Ouch.

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9

Off-topic, but I digress because I know you care, Fontana.

The giant shrimp is on.

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