Re: "Thank you, America"

1

Aunt Monkey!

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By the way, googling on "Aunt Monkey" returns this hit:

It is unclear exactly how far-reaching the trait of being limber is in this family or exactly which ancestor brought it in. Cousin Eleanor Bardin Hobson says it did not come from the Bardin side. (We've decided to enroll her in yoga classes!) Aunt Monkey is the only child of Papa Jernigan's to inherit the flexible limbs. She has daughters and granddaughters who are similarly endowed. "Sugar" Davis and "Sissy" Bryan report that their late mother, Maude Elizabeth, granddaughter of Aunt Matt (Papa J's sister) could put her feet behind her head. Other siblings of Papa J have descendants who can also put their feet behind their heads.

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3

I was at dinner with several people a couple of months ago when one young lady, who had met about half of us for the first time, announced that she could put her feet behind her head.

Somebody took her home that night.

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4

I believe that hyper-flexible joines are an indicator of Marfan's syndrome. Of course, if Aunt Monkey lived to 90, she doesn't have it.

Everybody's got something to hide, 'cept for me and aunt monkey. Aunt Monkey-- the funky monkey.

Please send help.

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5

A couple of years ago, I dated a woman who had been a ballet prodigy in her younger years who could still perform that trick effortlessly. As impressive as it was, I can assure you that its utility - even in the way to which we are all opaquely referring - is pretty much negligible.

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6

Someone took her home because she couldn't very well walk with her feet behind her head. What the hell are you talking about?

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7

Everything I ever needed to know about extremely flexible women, I learned from Seinfeld.

Of course I also learned the facts of life, from watching The Facts of Life!

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8

I didn't leave the house for weeks after watching Different Strokes.

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9

Don't blame the television, it was probably that motor oil you used . . .

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