I'm pretty sure this woman would give out her email address just for friendly. She was wacky (in a mostly good way): measuring on her stopwatch how long it took the airplane from the beginning of the acceleration until we got airborne, pointing out in A Shark's Tale the difference between DreamWork's and Pixar's and Disney's animation styles, complaining at length about her boss and the correct way to rear children, chatty chatty. Still, you might be right. Hard to tell.
bphd, shhhhhhh. I was trying to have some fun and make ogged paranoid again. Then we could have another "how to compose a friendly email that makes it clear I'm just not that into you" thread. :)
But yeah, I gave out my email just for friendly to lunchguy back in October.
You evil woman! I was thinking of asking you about a "just not that into you" email! That's it, straight political blogging from here on out. Only I'm allowed to make me an object of amusement around here.
Tortilla guy didn't get it precisely because he figured friendly woman = dating material. I should have reminded you of him earlier, Ogged. Don't be like that...
I'm trying to take these case by case. The Grad Student might have been interested in dating (though I haven't heard from her...ahem). Massage Girl, didn't quite get that sense.
There is a need for a phrase that means "Let's get together as friends," that doesn't primarily connote sexual disinterest in the way "friend" has come to.
"Let's get together in a way not just friendly, but also not strictly romantically or with an eye to sex, but rather let us cleave to a middle path [let our gnomon be a metron, even] and let the situation develop as it may."
Of course you're not allowed to say that overtly means what you want to communicate—that would be to easy.
I suppose I misapprehended the meaning of "doesn't primarily connote sexual disinterest", but now I can't bring myself to delete the above.
By the way pg, I think some guys do say "I have intimacy issues." (I'm rereading your review...) And if you watch Real World or some other such show, you'll find that even the meatheaded frat boys are conversant in that weird psychological relationship language. Having "been hurt," having "scar tissue," being "afraid of how much I like you..." are pretty common phrases, and sometimes they mean "I'm just not that into you," but more often, they're excuses for "I'm kinda stupid and inconsiderate."
Somebody needs to write a book about the peculiar failings of relationships between smart/liberated women and smart/considerate men.
Further evidence to confirm that which need not be confirmed, which is that I'm "wacky" is that this: "She was wacky (in a mostly good way): measuring on her stopwatch how long it took the airplane from the beginning of the acceleration until we got airborne, pointing out in A Shark's Tale the difference between DreamWork's and Pixar's and Disney's animation styles...." strikes me as sharp-eyed and interesting, rather than "wacky." If you e-mail her, feel free to recommend my blog. ;-)
Glad you're feeling better enough to comment, Gary.
That's why I said "in a mostly good way." Definitely sharp-eyed and interesting, but stopwatching the takeoff is pretty unusual...wacky, even. And, as we were walking off the plane, turning back to me to complete a sentence she had started literally two hours earlier...come on: wacky.
I don't know how serious you are, PG, and you have a full-time job (as, nominally, do I), but yeah, I would do it. Let me know if you're serious. In fact, something you posted recently, about your relationship with your ex, and you feeling that you always had to take responsiblity, has had me thinking about this, because I thought, "Christ, how many times did I hear that complaint from my ex?" Chapter One: Self-consciously Anti-patriarchal Passivity Drives Your Chickie Nuts.
So this one you'll ask on a date?
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 12-28-04 10:03 PM
Nah. But for friendly, sure, I'll email her.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 12-28-04 10:04 PM
You know, if she's a massage therapist ... well, you might get something good out of the deal.
And women don't just give out their email if they're looking for the friendly. Not to panic you about that or anything, ogged. :)
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 12-28-04 10:11 PM
I'm pretty sure this woman would give out her email address just for friendly. She was wacky (in a mostly good way): measuring on her stopwatch how long it took the airplane from the beginning of the acceleration until we got airborne, pointing out in A Shark's Tale the difference between DreamWork's and Pixar's and Disney's animation styles, complaining at length about her boss and the correct way to rear children, chatty chatty. Still, you might be right. Hard to tell.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 12-28-04 10:15 PM
Hey, I give out my email just for friendly!! Remember that Tortilla Guy?
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-28-04 10:46 PM
There ya go, pg. Though, as I recall, Tortilla Guy didn't quite get it either.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 12-28-04 10:49 PM
bphd, shhhhhhh. I was trying to have some fun and make ogged paranoid again. Then we could have another "how to compose a friendly email that makes it clear I'm just not that into you" thread. :)
But yeah, I gave out my email just for friendly to lunchguy back in October.
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 12-28-04 10:52 PM
You evil woman! I was thinking of asking you about a "just not that into you" email! That's it, straight political blogging from here on out. Only I'm allowed to make me an object of amusement around here.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 12-28-04 10:54 PM
Oops, my bad....
Tortilla guy didn't get it precisely because he figured friendly woman = dating material. I should have reminded you of him earlier, Ogged. Don't be like that...
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-28-04 11:21 PM
I'm trying to take these case by case. The Grad Student might have been interested in dating (though I haven't heard from her...ahem). Massage Girl, didn't quite get that sense.
And I have no tortillas.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 12-28-04 11:24 PM
Maybe you should start telling them outright that you have no tortillas ...
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 12-29-04 9:26 AM
There is a need for a phrase that means "Let's get together as friends," that doesn't primarily connote sexual disinterest in the way "friend" has come to.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 12-29-04 9:34 AM
"Let's get together in a way not just friendly, but also not strictly romantically or with an eye to sex, but rather let us cleave to a middle path [let our gnomon be a metron, even] and let the situation develop as it may."
Of course you're not allowed to say that overtly means what you want to communicate—that would be to easy.
I suppose I misapprehended the meaning of "doesn't primarily connote sexual disinterest", but now I can't bring myself to delete the above.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-29-04 9:47 AM
Maybe include a link to "He's Just Not that Into You" at the bottom of your email?
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 12-29-04 10:17 AM
You're right. I need new dating cards.
Ogged of Unfogged
ogged [at] unfogged [dot] com
Into You, But Just Not That
By the way pg, I think some guys do say "I have intimacy issues." (I'm rereading your review...) And if you watch Real World or some other such show, you'll find that even the meatheaded frat boys are conversant in that weird psychological relationship language. Having "been hurt," having "scar tissue," being "afraid of how much I like you..." are pretty common phrases, and sometimes they mean "I'm just not that into you," but more often, they're excuses for "I'm kinda stupid and inconsiderate."
Somebody needs to write a book about the peculiar failings of relationships between smart/liberated women and smart/considerate men.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 12-29-04 10:58 AM
Further evidence to confirm that which need not be confirmed, which is that I'm "wacky" is that this: "She was wacky (in a mostly good way): measuring on her stopwatch how long it took the airplane from the beginning of the acceleration until we got airborne, pointing out in A Shark's Tale the difference between DreamWork's and Pixar's and Disney's animation styles...." strikes me as sharp-eyed and interesting, rather than "wacky." If you e-mail her, feel free to recommend my blog. ;-)
Posted by Gary Farber | Link to this comment | 12-29-04 11:56 AM
Glad you're feeling better enough to comment, Gary.
That's why I said "in a mostly good way." Definitely sharp-eyed and interesting, but stopwatching the takeoff is pretty unusual...wacky, even. And, as we were walking off the plane, turning back to me to complete a sentence she had started literally two hours earlier...come on: wacky.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 12-29-04 12:01 PM
turning back to me to complete a sentence she had started literally two hours earlier
I do this all the time, except with longer time lags.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-29-04 12:16 PM
So, ogged, you wanna be my co-author? We can do the tour circuit (Oprah, The View, etc.) and maybe even strike it rich.
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 12-29-04 12:22 PM
I don't know how serious you are, PG, and you have a full-time job (as, nominally, do I), but yeah, I would do it. Let me know if you're serious. In fact, something you posted recently, about your relationship with your ex, and you feeling that you always had to take responsiblity, has had me thinking about this, because I thought, "Christ, how many times did I hear that complaint from my ex?" Chapter One: Self-consciously Anti-patriarchal Passivity Drives Your Chickie Nuts.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 12-29-04 1:56 PM
I do this all the time, except with longer time lags.
QED on the wackiness.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 12-29-04 1:58 PM
You kidding? I'm so in. There is a need for this book.
Funny that you would hear that complaint from your ex.
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 12-29-04 3:53 PM
Not kidding. In fact, I'll email you, but don't think I'm fresh, 'k?
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 12-29-04 3:56 PM
Ooh. I can't wait to find out what line you use on me to communicate that you want to talk but just as friends ;)
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 12-29-04 4:03 PM
So how's the book project coming?
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 11-20-05 9:46 PM