This site is rather graphics-heavy of late. I'm not sure my browser can handle it.
Seriously, a white couch is gutsy move. But is it a wise one? Think of the cleaning bills (if not Adam K, then somebody else will surely spill red wine). If you must go with white, I vote for the Avanti. Sure, the Metropolitan is a handsome piece, but where do you put your head when you want to lie down and read a book or watch a movie? The Avanti looks more comfortable.
where do you put your head when you want to lie down and read a book or watch a movie
That's the single most important consideration in a couch. Seriously. Even though the Metropolitan is the better-looking piece, those armrests are dealbreakers. Unless you always sit all proper-like on your couches.
I actually like the higher arms of the Metropolitan for tossing a pillow against and relaxing (though the Avanti has the better look) -- do the throw pillows come with the Avanti?
Neither one looks all that comfortable to me. What color were you thinking, if not white? (And I am on the no-white bandwagon here, for sure. My Dad had a white couch. In a room with white carpeting. We were never allowed in there. Big waste of expensive CA square footage if you ask me.)
I think people don't put enough thought into designing either chairs or sofas. It's hard to get a good impression of the backs of these from the pictures, but it looks like the Avanti slants backwards? That's no good--v. uncomfortable if you're in the center and can't lean to the side. It also is maybe too deep? And with the white color the horizontal wood piece along the bottom calls too much attention to itself (especially given the line formed by the seat piece thingies immediately above it. That's no good, man).
The armrests on the Metropolitan are too obtrusive, plus they look too high. Both of them probably look different in person, though.
Ah, the plot thickens. Right now my (small) living room is a medium green, with white trim, but it needs repainting (partly because there is or has been some soot coming from the furnace). I have no idea what the new colors might be, so I have to go with neutral and flexible. Darker is good, I think, and that will help minimize the wood trim that I like but that B-W finds intrusive. (Dese nuts on yo' chin, foo', now that's intrusive.)
Avanti comes with the two pillows. It is deep (40"). I think this is a plus, since I'm tall-- the extra room is really enjoyable.
The Avanti is the sure winner. Wife and I are in agreement on this. She has this suggestion for color: forest green is a good dark, rather neutral color for furniture. Rust, burgandy, navy blue or plum are also nice. Just make sure to avoid gray or black. Gray may seem appealing at first because it goes with everything, but it is very cold and rather boring. Black also goes with everything, but it looks cheesy, unless it is leather. (My suggestion to other bloggers: be careful, Ikea is from Sweden!. Ha Ha). No, really, I would avoid the Ikea look, thus the Metropolitan. Sorry, MM.
I recommend deep chocolate brown with light blue throw pillows. in general, that is; I'm not sure that's working with your green. avanti for sure. and I've got to speak up for white sofas, as long as you can remove the cushion covers. looks sharp.
Ooh, the brown w/ blue pillows is an interesting idea. If you go with a red or a burgundy, make sure it's a good one: it can be a great color, or it can be crap. It would create nice high contrast w/ the green walls, though, maybe. I'm kind of partial to olivey greens, too.
Ikea furniture isn't awful-looking (well, except for the "whimsical" stuff, which really is). But the plain stuff, no, it's fine. That's why it's popular (our last couch was Ikea, actually--I don't recommend them for couches). But if you're going to spend money on something nice, there's no point in buying something boring.
Totally unrelated to couches. Ben W, and Belle, I owe you both apologies. My bandarlog email has been busted for several months (and since I get almost no mail except from Mrs. Sani Abacha, I haven't really bothered to fix it). The result, however, is that I have failed to respond for months to your emails. That rate of epistolary discourse may cut it in Patrick O'Brian novels, but not now. I am mortified.
Belle, for what it's worth (and if you even recall what you wrote), I know totally what you mean. Also, it pleases me to no end that you like the website layout. Ogged is a noted scoffer on this topic.
Ben W, expect to hear from me soon.
Ogged & co, sorry to use your couch discussion as a mail drop. But in passing, let me note that the brown/light blue combo is probably more Too Cool For School than most of us can pull off. I advise aiming low, and going with a couch which is less chic, but comfier-looking (and hence, almost certainly comfier in fact, because it's all about the aura of ease and informality). Avanti!
Having now looked at every g**damned couch that Ethan Allen makes, I say kudos for liking the Avanti, which is, no question, the best of the bunch. As folks have said, the armrests on the Metropolitan rule it right out; and you're probably too tall to take Cala's suggestion about using a pillow inside the arms.
Colors are tough, but I always end up in the light to medium brown-ish family because light-colored furniture is usually garish and even tasteful dark colors tend to weigh down the whole room (unless your place gets a lot of light, in which case dark can work). If you do get dark brown, though, I don't agree with baa that light-blue pillows are too much; as long as the rest of the room is understated, splashes of color are great. (You will, however, get tired of your light-blue pillows.)
And baa, just this once, we'll relax our on-topic posting policy.
Ikea furniture isn't awful-looking (well, except for the "whimsical" stuff, which really is). But the plain stuff, no, it's fine. That's why it's popular (our last couch was Ikea, actually--I don't recommend them for couches). But if you're going to spend money on something nice, there's no point in buying something boring.
True. If you're shopping at Ethan Allen and you end up with a couch that looks like it's from Ikea, you payed (way) too much.
As for apostropher's idea, if I'm going to get grass stains on my back, I don't want it to be from just lounging on the couch reading the paper.
Can't go wrong with Ethan Allen furniture. We have two rooms full of it - one sofa, four chairs.
Myself I'm partial to the Avanti. Screw the recliner; you'll be better off with a nice standard chair and ottoman - TRUST ME ON THIS. Match it with the Soho chair and ottoman (a fave) or the Matrix chair and ottoman. The squared lines of either sofa will work well with those chairs. The Avanti will look especially nice with the exposed wood of the Matrix chair. Not to mention that chair is easy to reupholster should you get the redecorating bug.
Stay with a neutral on the sofa and you'll be fine. Like some posters upthread, I'm partial to greenish-olive neutrals.
But the beauty of using throw pillows for color is that when you get bored, they're easily replaced. You can even get all frou-frou and replace them seasonally, though I don't recommend it.
It doesn't make any difference which couch you're going to buy; just the fact of buying a couch (and in particular caring that much about it) will make you look gay. That's one of the reasons men get married; so someone else can buy furniture.
I consider myself a sensitive kind of guy, but I just don't care about home decor.
Oh, I think in pre-metrosexual America you were supposed to have a girlfriend who would furnish your place, and then you'd dump her when her work was done. When you were ready for new furniture, as Dave suggests, you'd get married. And then you'd spend the rest of your life rolling your eyes about your wife's taste.
But hey, living with furniture you hate is far, far preferable than the thought that the furniture salesperson might think you're a fag.
The only single supposedly straight guy I know who actually cares about his furniture is someone I've often thought might be gay.
Damn. I really want a new couch now. Someone want to sponsor a new couch for me? I'll invite you over to visit/sit on the couch and I'll even cook you a meal.
I was thinking of (since, in this etiolated day and age, one experiences live life only at third or fourth hand) something like Ewan McGregor's character's apartment in Down with Love, something that one assumes was not furnished by one of the notches in his bedpost.
I'm with baa here - brown/blue is too tough to make work. As evidence, (and IIRC) ask yourself how many people you know from Tufts who own anything in their school colours.
Profgrrrrl, I met him in an online sex chat room, where he chatted me up by discussing contemporary literary fiction and jazz music while everyone else was uttering obscenities.
Which is, of course, the kind of thing that makes people accuse men of being gay. But then again, he now gets to fuck me as often as we can manage, whereas I imagine the boys yelling about "sucking cock" probably didn't have a lot of luck.
As a sraight southern male, I never pick out furniture without my pig coming along with me, to insure the salesman knows that I am indeed only there to meet chickadees. And even my pig (whom I suspect of being gay) cannot believe this post has inspired so many comments.
60 more would be easy were this to turn into unfogged erotic chat. I'm envisioning a tale of swimmers discussing Joyce on sofas, while someone screams about sucking cock in the background.
prof b, do you think I should have redirected the folks who found my blog while searching for "how to eat a girl out" to a sex chat? I mean, it falls under the same general category as "sucking cock"
just doing my part to help increase the comment count
60 more would be easy were this to turn into unfogged erotic chat. I'm envisioning a tale of swimmers discussing Joyce on sofas, while someone screams about sucking cock in the background.
You know, it would be easier to get to 100 if FL would occasionally comment on his own damn comment threads.
Matt, sex chat rooms are ostensibly for sex chat, but if you stand out from the crowd with witty, self-conscious dialogue and double entendres, you can also use them to hook up with smart horny women. Also, I don't think jazz is gay, either; I was referencing more the general stereotype that "guys" don't care about art and culture, preferring instead sports and cheap beer.
Profgrrrrl, sure, send 'em to the sex chat rooms where they can yell "FAT COCK 4 U" (that'll increase unfogged's hits) and try to get some. Not that that will teach them any kind of useful skills, or something, but it'll keep 'em busy.
Keep the Avanti (those arms look perfect for napping and the whole thing looks like one of the most comfortable couches I've ever owned) but lose the pillows.
The Metropolitan looks like it belongs in a lounge somewhere, not in a real living room.
sex chat rooms are ostensibly for sex chat, but if you stand out from the crowd with witty, self-conscious dialogue and double entendres, you can also use them to hook up with smart horny women.
So my usual approach to talking about jazz'n'fiction ("boring nerd") might not work out so well, then. I knew there was a catch.
I hope you've got some serious anti-comment spam measures in place. Some of the above comments just scream, "Spam me with your discount v_agra offers! Spam me again with your penis enlargement therapy offers!"
It looks a lot like the comments section of Unfogged is roughly the equivalent of a keg party. A slow steady accretion of guys, a sudden uptick when one or more women show up, and then then whole think goes nova when the women start talking about sex.
Evidence to the contrary - the relatively small number of posts after the "panty-blogging" comment by (IIRC) profgrrrl - you'd think that would have been could for at least 100 comments by itself.
As you can tell, there is stuff I really ought to be doing.
Labs--Gawd, I didn't get the Burge reference. I feel like such a loser.
Ben W--With the Derek Bailey link and the "close paren" tag on the Crooked Timber thread, You Are My God. Incidentally, I was lying in my teeth on that thread--not only does Microsoft Word not default to the initial apostrophe on 'Tis, I can't even get it to work in the autocorrections. The most efficient way to get that right is still to type T'Tis and then delete the initial "T."
(Is that going to bring down the mighty hammer of ogged's on-topic posting copy, or will all standards be abandoned in the Drive To 100?)
60 more would be easy were this to turn into unfogged erotic chat. I'm envisioning a tale of swimmers discussing Joyce on sofas, while...
The phrase "Joyce on sofas" made me think of:
"I have a book at home - said Stephen - in which I have written down questions which are more amusing than yours were. In finding the answers to them I found the theory of the esthetic which I am trying to explain. Here are some questions I set myself: Is a chair finely made tragic or comic?"
So, to get back on-topic: are either of the couches tragic or comic? Which would you prefer?
(Real reason for comment: less than 40 more comments needed to reach 100.)
ps to Matt-dub: I was going to go on a long tangent about how I was really searching for a safo, you know, for use in my religious rituals, but that would have been kind of lame.
Look, if I have to I'll talk about my days trolling the internet, looking for weird electronic sex, but that's like the last resort. We're going for it.
I'm back, here to do my part dragging this thread, kicking and screaming, to one hundred.
Man this talk of electronic sex and dragging things kicking and screaming is....well, never you mind.
Which one of you guys is smarter, anyway?
I was actually worried you guys thought I was retarded. For awhile, I thought Ben was an instructor. Rather jealous when I found out we're the same age.
Left out an "e." That makes 90. Sure there are enough of you left to come up with ten more posts. Or is everyone off masturbating, crying, and or holding review sessons (i.e., making students cry)?
For awhile, I thought Ben was an instructor. Rather jealous when I found out we're the same age.
w00t! Though I can't imagine how you might have gotten that impression.
I thought my colon cancer comment on CT was tops (in Kieran's thread about workflow, in response to someone saying that using vi lets you avoid Emacs Pinky).
Also, Matt, if you liked the Bailey link you can find more here (that one includes the Bailey) and here (these are shorter, though. Check out the Hans Reichel (cool) and Phil Minton (really weird)).
re: reading group -- we could start with online sex and then just go to sex in general. I'm more interested in quality of book than specificity of topic, so to speak.
LOL, you got in ahead of me with #101. Ok, he owes you.
I shouold so not ask this b/c I have grading to do, but you don't have anything so handy as a yahoo chat id, do you? (See, this *is* like a sexchat room.) My yahoo id is the same as my online alias, as written here.
Hey, whiskey tango foxtrot, ladies, if it hadn't been for my contributions profgrrrrl's (why four and not three 'r's, by the way?) would only be number 98. Just sayin'.
EFnet is an IRC network. You can create arbitrary rooms on IRC. There is now, and will be until no one is in it any more, a #unfogged on EFnet (irc.efnet.org).
Apparently irc.efnet.org is not, or is not necessarily, the server name. Whatever. Any IRC client (mIRC, xchat, whatever) will know how to connect to EFnet.
It looks like a final score. 132 comments (well, 133 with this one) for Fontana's Furniture Post versus 115 for Ogged's Party Post. Clearly Fontana has received an historic mandate.
I like the second one better, though white couches make me nervous -- what if I spill my wine?
I am also of the opinion that one leather piece is too much for any space.
Posted by Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 12-15-04 6:35 PM
I'm not sure I'm comfortable with the way you're freaking us all nasty like this . . .
Posted by Mitch Mills | Link to this comment | 12-15-04 7:29 PM
As Liz Phair once said, Mitch, I'll take you home and make you like it. At least you'll have a comfortable place to sit.
Keep in mind, Adam, that the fabric and color will be different. White furniture-- like the people who own it-- makes me nervous.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 12-15-04 7:38 PM
This site is rather graphics-heavy of late. I'm not sure my browser can handle it.
Seriously, a white couch is gutsy move. But is it a wise one? Think of the cleaning bills (if not Adam K, then somebody else will surely spill red wine). If you must go with white, I vote for the Avanti. Sure, the Metropolitan is a handsome piece, but where do you put your head when you want to lie down and read a book or watch a movie? The Avanti looks more comfortable.
Posted by mcm | Link to this comment | 12-15-04 7:38 PM
where do you put your head when you want to lie down and read a book or watch a movie
That's the single most important consideration in a couch. Seriously. Even though the Metropolitan is the better-looking piece, those armrests are dealbreakers. Unless you always sit all proper-like on your couches.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-15-04 7:55 PM
The Avanti, most definitely. The Metropolitan is boring, and looks like it came from Ikea.
How are we supposed to suggest fabrics when we don't know your decor? I think we need pictures of your living room next.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-15-04 8:55 PM
Is the fact that something looks like it came from Ikea a bad thing?
Shit.
Posted by Mitch Mills | Link to this comment | 12-15-04 9:04 PM
I actually like the higher arms of the Metropolitan for tossing a pillow against and relaxing (though the Avanti has the better look) -- do the throw pillows come with the Avanti?
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 12-15-04 9:06 PM
Neither one looks all that comfortable to me. What color were you thinking, if not white? (And I am on the no-white bandwagon here, for sure. My Dad had a white couch. In a room with white carpeting. We were never allowed in there. Big waste of expensive CA square footage if you ask me.)
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 12-15-04 9:30 PM
I think people don't put enough thought into designing either chairs or sofas. It's hard to get a good impression of the backs of these from the pictures, but it looks like the Avanti slants backwards? That's no good--v. uncomfortable if you're in the center and can't lean to the side. It also is maybe too deep? And with the white color the horizontal wood piece along the bottom calls too much attention to itself (especially given the line formed by the seat piece thingies immediately above it. That's no good, man).
The armrests on the Metropolitan are too obtrusive, plus they look too high. Both of them probably look different in person, though.
Whatever you get, don't forget these pillows.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-15-04 9:47 PM
Ah, the plot thickens. Right now my (small) living room is a medium green, with white trim, but it needs repainting (partly because there is or has been some soot coming from the furnace). I have no idea what the new colors might be, so I have to go with neutral and flexible. Darker is good, I think, and that will help minimize the wood trim that I like but that B-W finds intrusive. (Dese nuts on yo' chin, foo', now that's intrusive.)
Avanti comes with the two pillows. It is deep (40"). I think this is a plus, since I'm tall-- the extra room is really enjoyable.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 12-15-04 9:59 PM
The Avanti is the sure winner. Wife and I are in agreement on this. She has this suggestion for color: forest green is a good dark, rather neutral color for furniture. Rust, burgandy, navy blue or plum are also nice. Just make sure to avoid gray or black. Gray may seem appealing at first because it goes with everything, but it is very cold and rather boring. Black also goes with everything, but it looks cheesy, unless it is leather. (My suggestion to other bloggers: be careful, Ikea is from Sweden!. Ha Ha). No, really, I would avoid the Ikea look, thus the Metropolitan. Sorry, MM.
Posted by Veiled | Link to this comment | 12-15-04 10:13 PM
Speaking of things Swedish, you know what isn't a good date movie? This movie.
I think, FL, that if you haven't you should read In Praise of Shadows and let that guide your every interior-decorative move.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-15-04 10:25 PM
Think outside the box. How much sunlight does your living room get?
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-15-04 10:35 PM
I recommend deep chocolate brown with light blue throw pillows. in general, that is; I'm not sure that's working with your green. avanti for sure. and I've got to speak up for white sofas, as long as you can remove the cushion covers. looks sharp.
Posted by belle waring | Link to this comment | 12-15-04 10:58 PM
Ooh, the brown w/ blue pillows is an interesting idea. If you go with a red or a burgundy, make sure it's a good one: it can be a great color, or it can be crap. It would create nice high contrast w/ the green walls, though, maybe. I'm kind of partial to olivey greens, too.
Ikea furniture isn't awful-looking (well, except for the "whimsical" stuff, which really is). But the plain stuff, no, it's fine. That's why it's popular (our last couch was Ikea, actually--I don't recommend them for couches). But if you're going to spend money on something nice, there's no point in buying something boring.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-15-04 11:17 PM
Totally unrelated to couches. Ben W, and Belle, I owe you both apologies. My bandarlog email has been busted for several months (and since I get almost no mail except from Mrs. Sani Abacha, I haven't really bothered to fix it). The result, however, is that I have failed to respond for months to your emails. That rate of epistolary discourse may cut it in Patrick O'Brian novels, but not now. I am mortified.
Belle, for what it's worth (and if you even recall what you wrote), I know totally what you mean. Also, it pleases me to no end that you like the website layout. Ogged is a noted scoffer on this topic.
Ben W, expect to hear from me soon.
Ogged & co, sorry to use your couch discussion as a mail drop. But in passing, let me note that the brown/light blue combo is probably more Too Cool For School than most of us can pull off. I advise aiming low, and going with a couch which is less chic, but comfier-looking (and hence, almost certainly comfier in fact, because it's all about the aura of ease and informality). Avanti!
Posted by baa | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 12:03 AM
Having now looked at every g**damned couch that Ethan Allen makes, I say kudos for liking the Avanti, which is, no question, the best of the bunch. As folks have said, the armrests on the Metropolitan rule it right out; and you're probably too tall to take Cala's suggestion about using a pillow inside the arms.
Colors are tough, but I always end up in the light to medium brown-ish family because light-colored furniture is usually garish and even tasteful dark colors tend to weigh down the whole room (unless your place gets a lot of light, in which case dark can work). If you do get dark brown, though, I don't agree with baa that light-blue pillows are too much; as long as the rest of the room is understated, splashes of color are great. (You will, however, get tired of your light-blue pillows.)
And baa, just this once, we'll relax our on-topic posting policy.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 12:47 AM
Ikea furniture isn't awful-looking (well, except for the "whimsical" stuff, which really is). But the plain stuff, no, it's fine. That's why it's popular (our last couch was Ikea, actually--I don't recommend them for couches). But if you're going to spend money on something nice, there's no point in buying something boring.
True. If you're shopping at Ethan Allen and you end up with a couch that looks like it's from Ikea, you payed (way) too much.
As for apostropher's idea, if I'm going to get grass stains on my back, I don't want it to be from just lounging on the couch reading the paper.
Posted by Mitch Mills | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 6:45 AM
Can't go wrong with Ethan Allen furniture. We have two rooms full of it - one sofa, four chairs.
Myself I'm partial to the Avanti. Screw the recliner; you'll be better off with a nice standard chair and ottoman - TRUST ME ON THIS. Match it with the Soho chair and ottoman (a fave) or the Matrix chair and ottoman. The squared lines of either sofa will work well with those chairs. The Avanti will look especially nice with the exposed wood of the Matrix chair. Not to mention that chair is easy to reupholster should you get the redecorating bug.
Stay with a neutral on the sofa and you'll be fine. Like some posters upthread, I'm partial to greenish-olive neutrals.
Posted by PigInZen | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 8:24 AM
But the beauty of using throw pillows for color is that when you get bored, they're easily replaced. You can even get all frou-frou and replace them seasonally, though I don't recommend it.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 8:55 AM
Dude,
It doesn't make any difference which couch you're going to buy; just the fact of buying a couch (and in particular caring that much about it) will make you look gay. That's one of the reasons men get married; so someone else can buy furniture.
I consider myself a sensitive kind of guy, but I just don't care about home decor.
Posted by Dave | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 11:07 AM
just the fact of buying a couch (and in particular caring that much about it) will make you look gay
In post-metrosexual America, this is surely false.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 11:13 AM
Not to mention, in pre-metrosexual America. Bachelor pads don't furnish themselves, you know.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 11:16 AM
Oh, I think in pre-metrosexual America you were supposed to have a girlfriend who would furnish your place, and then you'd dump her when her work was done. When you were ready for new furniture, as Dave suggests, you'd get married. And then you'd spend the rest of your life rolling your eyes about your wife's taste.
But hey, living with furniture you hate is far, far preferable than the thought that the furniture salesperson might think you're a fag.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 11:26 AM
The only single supposedly straight guy I know who actually cares about his furniture is someone I've often thought might be gay.
Damn. I really want a new couch now. Someone want to sponsor a new couch for me? I'll invite you over to visit/sit on the couch and I'll even cook you a meal.
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 11:42 AM
By the way, I think if you're currently single but previously married you might be exempt from the furniture fag thing.
Hmmm. The two divorced guys whose homes I've seen in the last year live like grad students. And my ex lives like a grad student too. Scratch that.
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 11:43 AM
My boyfriend has never been married, and he has a nice place. Art on the walls and everything.
And, obviously, not gay.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 11:45 AM
I was thinking of (since, in this etiolated day and age, one experiences live life only at third or fourth hand) something like Ewan McGregor's character's apartment in Down with Love, something that one assumes was not furnished by one of the notches in his bedpost.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 11:46 AM
p-grrrrl, you can always try out Fontana's couch and see how you like it...
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 11:50 AM
I'm with baa here - brown/blue is too tough to make work. As evidence, (and IIRC) ask yourself how many people you know from Tufts who own anything in their school colours.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 11:51 AM
Prof-b, how do I find me a boyfriend like yours? I bet there aren't any in Gentleville.
Must stop attracting the grad student type. (BTW, one of these grad student types is a tenured professor)
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 11:53 AM
Ben, I think that apartment was furnished by the set people.
In other words, if you don't trust the conniving bitches to pick out your drapes, you hire someone.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 11:55 AM
Profgrrrrl, I met him in an online sex chat room, where he chatted me up by discussing contemporary literary fiction and jazz music while everyone else was uttering obscenities.
Which is, of course, the kind of thing that makes people accuse men of being gay. But then again, he now gets to fuck me as often as we can manage, whereas I imagine the boys yelling about "sucking cock" probably didn't have a lot of luck.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 11:57 AM
You mean they have people just to design sets? What a world.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 12:12 PM
b-phd,
Interesting. Every boy I know who yells about sucking cock (and I know a few) is gay.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 12:58 PM
As a sraight southern male, I never pick out furniture without my pig coming along with me, to insure the salesman knows that I am indeed only there to meet chickadees. And even my pig (whom I suspect of being gay) cannot believe this post has inspired so many comments.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 1:14 PM
Only sixty-two more comments to go, and Fontana will join the big league!
Posted by Mitch Mills | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 1:19 PM
Apostropher: that must explain the dynamics of sex-chat rooms, then.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 1:20 PM
60 more would be easy were this to turn into unfogged erotic chat. I'm envisioning a tale of swimmers discussing Joyce on sofas, while someone screams about sucking cock in the background.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 1:31 PM
Aren't sex chat rooms for internet sex or something? I have totally been talking about jazz in the wrong venues.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 1:34 PM
BTW, I don't think the stereotype of a guy who talks about jazz is "gay"--more like "Steve Buscemi in Ghost World."
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 1:35 PM
prof b, do you think I should have redirected the folks who found my blog while searching for "how to eat a girl out" to a sex chat? I mean, it falls under the same general category as "sucking cock"
just doing my part to help increase the comment count
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 1:38 PM
and doing your part to help increase unfogged's traffic count.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 1:41 PM
60 more would be easy were this to turn into unfogged erotic chat. I'm envisioning a tale of swimmers discussing Joyce on sofas, while someone screams about sucking cock in the background.
I'm envisioning David Lynch's next movie.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 1:45 PM
You know, it would be easier to get to 100 if FL would occasionally comment on his own damn comment threads.
Matt, sex chat rooms are ostensibly for sex chat, but if you stand out from the crowd with witty, self-conscious dialogue and double entendres, you can also use them to hook up with smart horny women. Also, I don't think jazz is gay, either; I was referencing more the general stereotype that "guys" don't care about art and culture, preferring instead sports and cheap beer.
Profgrrrrl, sure, send 'em to the sex chat rooms where they can yell "FAT COCK 4 U" (that'll increase unfogged's hits) and try to get some. Not that that will teach them any kind of useful skills, or something, but it'll keep 'em busy.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 2:08 PM
Keep the Avanti (those arms look perfect for napping and the whole thing looks like one of the most comfortable couches I've ever owned) but lose the pillows.
The Metropolitan looks like it belongs in a lounge somewhere, not in a real living room.
Posted by Jonathan Dresner | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 2:13 PM
sex chat rooms are ostensibly for sex chat, but if you stand out from the crowd with witty, self-conscious dialogue and double entendres, you can also use them to hook up with smart horny women.
So my usual approach to talking about jazz'n'fiction ("boring nerd") might not work out so well, then. I knew there was a catch.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 2:45 PM
Or, it might just be that you need to find a new venue, to channel the Sister Souljah Moment (see entry above).
Anyway, I have to take my kid to the grocery store now. So y'all are gonna have to rack up the comments on your own. Have fun!
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 2:48 PM
live hot non-idiomatic improvisation
This makes fifty, non?
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 2:49 PM
Uh-oh, I'm going out too. I think b-dub and Michael can get us to 100 by themselves. Which one of you guys is smarter, anyway?
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 3:00 PM
[redacted]
Posted by [redacted] | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 3:05 PM
Ogged,
I hope you've got some serious anti-comment spam measures in place. Some of the above comments just scream, "Spam me with your discount v_agra offers! Spam me again with your penis enlargement therapy offers!"
Posted by mcm | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 3:14 PM
Apparently, you *do* have the comment spam under control: I couldn't post the above until I removed a vowel from the v_agra.
Posted by mcm | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 3:15 PM
You definitely want a recliner. How could you not? Recliners are the best.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 3:15 PM
It looks a lot like the comments section of Unfogged is roughly the equivalent of a keg party. A slow steady accretion of guys, a sudden uptick when one or more women show up, and then then whole think goes nova when the women start talking about sex.
Evidence to the contrary - the relatively small number of posts after the "panty-blogging" comment by (IIRC) profgrrrl - you'd think that would have been could for at least 100 comments by itself.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 3:19 PM
Yes, mcm, it's not too bad, and I can't very well block "penis" or we would hardly get any comments at all...
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 3:20 PM
Ha! That's funny, Tim. Personally, I backed off the panty blogging stuff because it was too close to the blog equivalent of "show us your tits!"
Plus, I figure she'll get around to it herself, eventually.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 3:22 PM
Yeah, that's why I stayed out of that thread. Plus, you don't want unfogged turning into Fark. Yukko.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 3:28 PM
Uh, don't hold your breath on that one, Ogged.
Anyway, how common is the word "penis" on this site? Can you run a search and find out?
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 3:57 PM
I think "stentorian" is the most common word on unfogged.
Posted by baa | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 4:10 PM
Profgrrrrl--I hear and obey--about 25 Google hits for "penis".
2 for "stentorian".
4 for nerd.
As you can tell, there is stuff I really ought to be doing.
Labs--Gawd, I didn't get the Burge reference. I feel like such a loser.
Ben W--With the Derek Bailey link and the "close paren" tag on the Crooked Timber thread, You Are My God. Incidentally, I was lying in my teeth on that thread--not only does Microsoft Word not default to the initial apostrophe on 'Tis, I can't even get it to work in the autocorrections. The most efficient way to get that right is still to type T'Tis and then delete the initial "T."
(Is that going to bring down the mighty hammer of ogged's on-topic posting copy, or will all standards be abandoned in the Drive To 100?)
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 4:24 PM
Pshaw, I spend five whole minutes doing what I really ought to be doing and there are no new comments? You'll never hit the big time that way.
This was the Crooked Timber thread I meant. Ben's comment of 11:26 pm.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 4:49 PM
Keep hope alive! Keep hope alive! I'll do it myself if I have to.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 4:59 PM
60 more would be easy were this to turn into unfogged erotic chat. I'm envisioning a tale of swimmers discussing Joyce on sofas, while...
The phrase "Joyce on sofas" made me think of:
"I have a book at home - said Stephen - in which I have written down questions which are more amusing than yours were. In finding the answers to them I found the theory of the esthetic which I am trying to explain. Here are some questions I set myself: Is a chair finely made tragic or comic?"
So, to get back on-topic: are either of the couches tragic or comic? Which would you prefer?
(Real reason for comment: less than 40 more comments needed to reach 100.)
Posted by aj | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 4:59 PM
ps to Matt-dub: I was going to go on a long tangent about how I was really searching for a safo, you know, for use in my religious rituals, but that would have been kind of lame.
Burge is one sexxxy bitch, though.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 5:00 PM
pps to matt: wow that's funny.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 5:09 PM
Sadly, those were different entries...
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 5:27 PM
most excellent comments, ogged.
It's all about the Avanti. Love the French arms. Get the Ethan Allen. In a deep blue or heathered wine.
Posted by Laura | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 5:36 PM
No one has pointed out that if we had six fingers on each hand, 100 wouldn't be a round number.
70, bitches.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 5:44 PM
Look, if I have to I'll talk about my days trolling the internet, looking for weird electronic sex, but that's like the last resort. We're going for it.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 5:56 PM
Matt, thanks for checking on that for me. So, penis is a common word around here? Let's make it more common.
Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis.
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 5:57 PM
Here's a book that might help you in that endeavor, Fontana.
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 6:00 PM
Damn, did my link not work?
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 6:03 PM
Nope.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 6:07 PM
Let me check on that for you.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 6:08 PM
Fixed. Need to enclose the URL in quotes.
Any other technical issues I can address in three or more comments?
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 6:10 PM
Thanks, ogged. Why do I need the quotes here? I don't normally use them anymore (only way way back in the day did I use them)
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 6:12 PM
Must be some MT thing. Not under my control, far as I know.
Out for a while...I expect great things...
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 6:20 PM
God, taking a little kid to the grocery store when you're hungry just saps you of the will to live.
Until you come home and realize that the comment thread *still* isn't up to 100. That gives one a real purpose in life.
FL, we should swap stories of weird electronic sex on the internet. You go first.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 6:30 PM
Huh. Maybe I need to read that book, profgrrrrl.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 6:32 PM
I'm back, here to do my part dragging this thread, kicking and screaming, to one hundred.
Man this talk of electronic sex and dragging things kicking and screaming is....well, never you mind.
Which one of you guys is smarter, anyway?
I was actually worried you guys thought I was retarded. For awhile, I thought Ben was an instructor. Rather jealous when I found out we're the same age.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 6:37 PM
maybe we could do an online reading group, prof-b.
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 6:39 PM
don't forget to invite Fontana. He loves reading! lovies it.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 6:45 PM
Wow this is just the nastiest I have ever been freaked.
Posted by Mitch Mills | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 6:51 PM
I'm so so sorry.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 6:54 PM
I'm going to go cry cry masturbate cry now.
Posted by Mitch Mills | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 6:56 PM
Sorry it took me so long to return. Contra Kotsko, I was holding a review session, not masturbating.
Michael, I never thought you were retarded, if that counts for anything.
Could we get abc123 on the phone? I was kind of hoping he'd get the honor of pushing this thing over the top.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 7:10 PM
I'm up for the online reading group. Are we to limit ourselves to books about online sex, sex in general, onlinness in general, or what?
Now to grade three more papers. Ya'll keep yourselves entertained freaking Mitch out while I'm gone.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 7:53 PM
Left out an "e." That makes 90. Sure there are enough of you left to come up with ten more posts. Or is everyone off masturbating, crying, and or holding review sessons (i.e., making students cry)?
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 7:55 PM
For awhile, I thought Ben was an instructor. Rather jealous when I found out we're the same age.
w00t! Though I can't imagine how you might have gotten that impression.
I thought my colon cancer comment on CT was tops (in Kieran's thread about workflow, in response to someone saying that using vi lets you avoid Emacs Pinky).
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 7:56 PM
Also, Matt, if you liked the Bailey link you can find more here (that one includes the Bailey) and here (these are shorter, though. Check out the Hans Reichel (cool) and Phil Minton (really weird)).
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 7:59 PM
I just wrote a test that will produce tears. I feel almost bad about this. What does this say about the state of my soul? Defend your answer.
Now to meet with someone about a draft due tomorrow...
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 7:59 PM
Dammit, I forgot that this damn filter ogged has converts the character denoting zero into "o". I'll try again:
wØØt!
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 8:06 PM
re: reading group -- we could start with online sex and then just go to sex in general. I'm more interested in quality of book than specificity of topic, so to speak.
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 8:06 PM
But should we discuss the sex books on a blog? Or should we be in a sex chat room for authenticity?
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 8:07 PM
It's not how long it takes, it's who's taking you.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 8:09 PM
The problem with the sex chat room is, when you get good chat, you can't safe it. It disappears into the ether.
I say, blog. Then we can have all the joy of trollish comments telling us what whores we are.
Obviously I am not grading. I really wish pseudonymous kid would fall asleep.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 8:12 PM
The most efficient way to get that right is still to type T'Tis and then delete the initial "T."
This is a perfect example of everything that's wrong with the "punctuation inside the quotation marks" style of quotation.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 8:16 PM
Oh, that would be fun to hear what whores we are.
There's no comparable term for men, really, is there?
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 8:16 PM
Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!!!
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 8:17 PM
Well, unsurprisingly profgrrrrl, it ends up you and me being whores that pushes FL over the top while he meets with his students.
He owes us. What shall we ask for?
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 8:17 PM
Hmmmm. Something whorish, for sure. And just in time for the holidays!
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 8:19 PM
LOL, you got in ahead of me with #101. Ok, he owes you.
I shouold so not ask this b/c I have grading to do, but you don't have anything so handy as a yahoo chat id, do you? (See, this *is* like a sexchat room.) My yahoo id is the same as my online alias, as written here.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 8:19 PM
Hey, whiskey tango foxtrot, ladies, if it hadn't been for my contributions profgrrrrl's (why four and not three 'r's, by the way?) would only be number 98. Just sayin'.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 8:20 PM
That is, profgrrrrl's post number 103.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 8:21 PM
It's like landing on the moon, Ben. Neil Armstrong is the only one who counts.
But hey, if you want to hit FL up for something whorish, like a corset, feel free.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 8:23 PM
4 r's because you never know when you'll need a spare?
I have MSN and AIM. I'm profgrrrrl on AIM.
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 8:23 PM
Oh, I want to see Ben in a corset.
Wait. Do I really?
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 8:24 PM
Well, profgrrrrl, it's hard to message you if you're not on, now, isn't it?
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 8:25 PM
Or if I can't spell. Shit. Hang on a second.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 8:25 PM
Well done! Woohoo!
Too bad abc123 couldn't be the one to put us over, but abc123 managed to become the only person I've ever banned a couple of weeks ago.
So, uh, ladies, shouldn't we all meet in an IRC chat room? But none of us will use our blog names. Oh, that would be fun...
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 8:31 PM
We should do a big group chat *with* our blog names.
Oh wait, isn't that what unfogged threads are?
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 8:33 PM
#unfogged on efnet.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 8:39 PM
I am deeply indebted to you all. I'm in tears, really.
My chiffon is wet, darling, my chiffon is wet. My wig is wet; my chiffon is wet.
bphd, you're not ON yahoo. Tease.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 8:41 PM
Limited time only.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 8:42 PM
god, what's THAT?
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 8:42 PM
What the fuck is efnet?
I am too on yahoo. I'm a chat whore.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 8:43 PM
EFnet is an IRC network. You can create arbitrary rooms on IRC. There is now, and will be until no one is in it any more, a #unfogged on EFnet (irc.efnet.org).
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 8:45 PM
Apparently irc.efnet.org is not, or is not necessarily, the server name. Whatever. Any IRC client (mIRC, xchat, whatever) will know how to connect to EFnet.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 8:47 PM
Also, I'd like to note that this has now actually surpassed ogged's "The Party" comment thread.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 8:47 PM
Take that, ogged! taste my pain, bitch!
Posted by fl | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 8:51 PM
Time to start deleting some of the inappropriate contributions, then. Not that any single comment will make less sense as a resut...
...going to try efnet now b-dub...not at my own computer, so ought to be interesting...
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 9:01 PM
Well?
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 9:02 PM
None of us know what efnet is. You have to explain. We're having a big group aim chat.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 9:04 PM
who's in aim? I'm in efnet. do I need an aol account to get into the aim chat?
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 9:06 PM
yes, dear
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 9:09 PM
I'm getting an aim screen name now...
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 9:13 PM
You better hurry up, it's 2 boys and 2 girls. You're gonna be the 5th wheel.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 9:16 PM
yeah, but make it a clever name, or we'll make fun of you.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 9:20 PM
Let the record show that I am heaping scorn upon ogged for spoiling our fun.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 9:44 PM
Wow, impressive! I go away at #87 and come back and it's up to #132!
I've got to learn to make my masturbation and crying more efficient. If I can just get that high elbow catch down . . .
Anyway I said I'd never been freaked so nasty (not freaked out, bphd, freaked nasty), but now I have.
Posted by Mitch Mills | Link to this comment | 12-16-04 10:09 PM
It looks like a final score. 132 comments (well, 133 with this one) for Fontana's Furniture Post versus 115 for Ogged's Party Post. Clearly Fontana has received an historic mandate.
Hmmm, that reminds me of another Famous Fontana Victory of yore.
Posted by Mitch Mills | Link to this comment | 12-17-04 6:13 AM
Has there been some editing? I swear that before Mitch's most recent was 136...
Anyway, ogged's thread had a higher proportion of on-topic comments.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-17-04 7:48 AM
Ben, I refer you to this question of Unf's.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 12-17-04 9:34 AM
That's gonna be hell on your ratio, Labsy.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 12-17-04 9:37 AM
Actually I think the furniture thing was just a clever screen for the real but hidden subject of FL's post: getting more than 100 comments.
It all depends on how you read the final word of the original post.
Posted by Mitch Mills | Link to this comment | 12-17-04 1:21 PM