Re: Travel Blogging: Staying Home in Other Ways

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Mr. B. once ran into my old college roommate at O'Hare. Everyone goes through O'Hare.

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"its," my dear boy, not "it's." Yglesias does this all the time, and it makes me sad.

Do you really like airports? I almost like airports, because some funny things happen in them, but since I'm always spending time there under annoying circumstances, I'm not so fond. Give me reasons to love them by tomorrow and I'll try them on.

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Yglesias does this all the time, and it makes me sad.

Yes, he does, and it makes me question the value of an Ivy League education. But then, I have a special thing about apostrophes.

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Oops, I try to watch those--way too many "its's" in that post...

Airports: lots of people, none of whom you have to talk to, but all with some immediate, probably fairly interesting story; often many good-looking women, from all over, which is exotic, and exciting; always something to eat or drink; usually some attempt at contemporary design, which can be judged, if not appreciated.

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Do you talk to people in airports? Isn't that a way of identifying yourself as a crazyperson? Attractive women at airports, like attractive women in other places, are too terrifying to contemplate. The food is bad and pricey.

But I like the weird fountain in Detroit.

Oh, a shout-out to apostropher: I'm literally amazed by the kinds of grammatical errors committed by graduating seniors. It's astounding that someone can go through four years of college and still write run-on sentences.

This completes my transformation into a cranky old person.

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Sorry to be a dick about grammar, too.

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That's the last time I try to force you to have fun. I like the short friendly interactions with complete strangers. And I just like having attractive women around, even if I don't talk to them. As for the food, I get into a "calories are good and make me happy" frame of mind, so the taste and price don't matter so much. Ok, this is the last time I try to force you to have fun.

No problem on the grammar. I mean, if I were in the habit of confusing "it's" and "its," almost as annoying as that would be correcting me regularly; but generally I like having my errors pointed out to me. Why else would we keep Wolfson around?

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[redacted]

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I see no more attractive women at airports than I do under normal circumstances, and I keep a sharp eye out for 'em.

In one of my classes in my very first quarter of college, shortly after the first papers had been handed in, the professor (now returned to Tranna) quizzed the class on "it's" and "its". Serendipitously I think I was wearing my alt.possessive.its.has.no.apostrophe shirt that very day.

I realize the above constitutes a confession that I own or owned a shirt associated with a newsgroup.

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Why would that constitute a reason for keeping me around?

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Right, that's the other reason. Actually those are the same reason. Who said that ever since the Catholic Church stopped defrocking priests for pederasty, it's impossible to get good proofreading? Waugh?

In any case, it's worth noting that if Ben were any more gay, they'd have to reserve "G," "A," and "Y," just for him.

That would make you Fontn Lbs.

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In defense of airports, the people-watching is superb, and this is one of my favorite things.

I saw a man straight from Pimp Central in an airport once-- bright yellow suit, alligator shoes, hat, cane, the works. Everyone pretty much stopped what they were doing and said damn. A special moment.

I hope his bitch had his money.

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Oh shit, I just unintentionally committed the "gays are pederasts" sin! Though, even in hindsight, I probably would have committed it anyway, just to quote the Waugh.

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[redacted]

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that Waugh thing is hilarious.

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Because, to be a master at chess, one needs to be either Russian, or Bobby Fisher. To be both, well...

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Sheesh, people, I'm right here.

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And the chess thing is pretty good, but I also remember you saying something about Ben being the Harvey Fierstein of chat. Too true. Too true.

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I will make no more Wolfson jokes forever. At least until tomorrow, anyway. Goodnight, people. Travel safe.

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Adios! Good luck at the airport!

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Ah Ben, when we had that chat the other night, you said you were leaving, but never logged off. We thought you might be eavesdropping, so we spent the rest of the evening trying to bait you with "Ben is so gay" jokes. I knew we wouldn't be able to resist using some of them on the blog eventually.

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Oh. Who's Harvey Fierstein?

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Unfortunately, no answer to that question could substitute for hearing Fierstein. I leave it to your superb sleuthing skills to find an audio clip.

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Well, or my superb sleuthing skills.

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You're not supposed to yell at your mom otherwise she won't tell me her crazy political views anymore.

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You presume that she can tell which those views are.

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Out of curiousity, what did she say or did you just spend the time yelling at her?

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She claimed she was just speaking from the point of view of an Islamic person, and not expressing her own view. I yelled at her for that, instead.

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