You've inspired me. I have been running and I need to slim up a bit before showing myself in a speedo --- sad as it is to say. But I'm definitely looking forward to it. I had a stint in a fancy gym in town and it was lame. I'm back to the pool (and yoga/running routine).
I don't know any really great cock jokes—so declassé—but my girlfriend suggests "what's the smartest thing that ever came out of a woman's mouth? / Einstein's cock.".
But knowledge of jokes doesn't good humor make (as in the joke, most of which I forget, detailing at what point various nationalities laugh when hearing, getting, and telling jokes; one of them, probably those dour Chermans, laughs once when he hears it, never gets it, and laughs when he tells it); in the joke realm it's more important to be able to deliver them well, and to know what's appropriate and when (the parts of the joke that are distinct from the pre-packaged gag), than to know a lot of good jokes of a particular kind Best of all, of course, is to be witty, but wit, by its nature, resists being retold (though one can relate instances of wit).
Anyway, I prefer shaggy dog stories and horrible puns as in the following (which, of course, is much better told, especially if you tell it with the cadence distinctive to NPR commentators--the text needs to be smarmied up for that to really work): Everybody knows how Cleopatra died. But not everyone knows that it actually took her two attempts. The first time she prepared to kill herself, she first gave a lengthy suicide oration, in which she went into great detail in describing her reasons for killing herself, how it had come about and could have been prevented, why a snakebite was particulary appropriate--on and on and on, with the result that by the time she finally lifted the serpent to her breast for its fatal bite, it had already died from age. The moral of the story is, never let your speech exceed your asp.
adb, are you crazy? This was good, as was the interview:
Kunz: Sure, in Britain everybody jokes all the time, but that just means they are a nation of humour amateurs. In Germany, we understand that humour is about telling jokes properly and efficiently.
or
Kunz: (also laughing) See, for example, if we Germans make a joke, we already start laughing in the middle of the sentence. This saves valuable time, which we can then use for explaining the joke. For example, in this case …
I love your pool stories.
Posted by Balasubramani | Link to this comment | 01-21-05 4:18 PM
Glad to hear it. You swimming again? :)
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 01-21-05 4:26 PM
Ten minutes? Was he complementing your game or insulting your lasting power?
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 01-21-05 5:17 PM
(Do I leave it to Wolfson, or do it myself...?)
It's a good question, Michael. In any case, I was out of there in two.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 01-21-05 5:19 PM
Leave what to Wolfson? I just double-checked for spelling. Thanks for making me paranoid.
Two minutes? Geez, that gitmo-paranoia must really be getting to you.
On a related note, it was a beautiful, sunny spring day here in Baton Rouge. I think I got a bit of a tan.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 01-21-05 5:31 PM
Now check "complement" and "compliment."
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 01-21-05 5:32 PM
f*#king homophones.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 01-21-05 5:35 PM
Now check "complement" and "compliment."
The admirable soigne with which you admitted it had been a year is starting to seem feigned.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 01-21-05 5:39 PM
Look, that was downright Socratic. And if I hadn't done it (with Socratic good humor), Wolfson would have (without).
A year, and counting...
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 01-21-05 5:49 PM
f*#king homophones.
Don't go all family values on us now, Michael.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-21-05 5:50 PM
I was trying to think of a joke like that, apostropher; thanks.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 01-21-05 5:59 PM
Soon,
You've inspired me. I have been running and I need to slim up a bit before showing myself in a speedo --- sad as it is to say. But I'm definitely looking forward to it. I had a stint in a fancy gym in town and it was lame. I'm back to the pool (and yoga/running routine).
Posted by Balasubramani | Link to this comment | 01-21-05 6:08 PM
Oh, so that's what you meant by Wolfson's thrown.
Posted by aj | Link to this comment | 01-21-05 6:17 PM
What's this humorlessness charge all about? I'm a great one for good humor. Ask anyone. Ask me.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 01-21-05 6:23 PM
Hit me with your best cock joke, wolfson.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-21-05 6:33 PM
I don't know any really great cock jokes—so declassé—but my girlfriend suggests "what's the smartest thing that ever came out of a woman's mouth? / Einstein's cock.".
But knowledge of jokes doesn't good humor make (as in the joke, most of which I forget, detailing at what point various nationalities laugh when hearing, getting, and telling jokes; one of them, probably those dour Chermans, laughs once when he hears it, never gets it, and laughs when he tells it); in the joke realm it's more important to be able to deliver them well, and to know what's appropriate and when (the parts of the joke that are distinct from the pre-packaged gag), than to know a lot of good jokes of a particular kind Best of all, of course, is to be witty, but wit, by its nature, resists being retold (though one can relate instances of wit).
Anyway, I prefer shaggy dog stories and horrible puns as in the following (which, of course, is much better told, especially if you tell it with the cadence distinctive to NPR commentators--the text needs to be smarmied up for that to really work): Everybody knows how Cleopatra died. But not everyone knows that it actually took her two attempts. The first time she prepared to kill herself, she first gave a lengthy suicide oration, in which she went into great detail in describing her reasons for killing herself, how it had come about and could have been prevented, why a snakebite was particulary appropriate--on and on and on, with the result that by the time she finally lifted the serpent to her breast for its fatal bite, it had already died from age. The moral of the story is, never let your speech exceed your asp.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 01-21-05 7:05 PM
bw, I think your dog got shagged.
Posted by cw | Link to this comment | 01-21-05 7:55 PM
Oh, we're doing cock jokes now? Top this.
How do you know your sister's on her period?
Your dad's cock tastes funny.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01-21-05 8:39 PM
Ben, that was the least funny post ever.
Posted by adb | Link to this comment | 01-21-05 9:40 PM
Is that a challenge?
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 01-21-05 9:45 PM
[redacted]
Posted by [redacted] | Link to this comment | 01-21-05 10:23 PM
A not irrelevant site.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 01-22-05 8:39 AM
OK, you're right. No one beats the Germans at unfunny.
Posted by adb | Link to this comment | 01-22-05 12:42 PM
Germans may not be funny, but the "awful German language", on the other hand...
Posted by aj | Link to this comment | 01-22-05 1:11 PM
adb, are you crazy? This was good, as was the interview:
orPosted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 01-22-05 1:20 PM
Ben, I stand by my comment. You must have just read the joke, because the audio clip was painful to listen to.
While we're on the subject, here are some more German jokes. This one pretty much sums up German humor:
Q: How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One.
Posted by adb | Link to this comment | 01-22-05 3:31 PM
As usual, I'm late to the party.
What is the part of Popeye that doesn't rust?
The part he keeps in Olive Oyl.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 01-24-05 8:44 AM