Re: Instructions

1

And what was her reaction?

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2

She was affectless throughout. If she'd been joking, it would have been a masterful deadpan delivery. But she said everything in a clipped monotone that made the whole thing even funnier than it reads.

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3

I was gonna ask both, what did she do? And, so did the card ever work or were you left purchase-free?

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4

She ran it on another machine, which worked.

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5

Did she have to do it slow, straight and deep on that one?

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6

Nope. Lickity-split.

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7

I've found that some machines like it slow straight and deep, and others like it fast and shallow. Just goes to prove that computers are female.

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8

I wrote a longer messages I trashed, Ogged, which boiled down to: sex -- wonderful; other stuff -- even more.

Gosh, you're making me so spiritual. And I bet you can't even find me porn movies to change my mind. (Although I'm open to the research, mind.)

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9

Trying hard not to imagine MadTV's Swan, as Ogged's checkout lady.

[Approved]

"Ooooh. You swipe it sooo nice that time."

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10

Heh. I keep envisioning the woman from the Chinese drive-thru in Dude, Where's My Car.

"And den?"

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11

Oh, God. As my wife says to me, "you have a dirty mind."

I've had clerks wrap it in plastic when the slow and fast don't work.

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