-relating the humorous relation of a tragickal turn on the high seas-
-and given the title-
A BRIEF STORY
I met a traveller from an antique land, who said, "in my youth, I was a sailor on a merchant ship for many years. I finally left the sailing life when it was finally made clear to me just how dangerous it was, and that I risked my life every time we went to sea. You see, one of our most profitable routes had us going between the headlands in Benin. It's a maneuver known to be risky but I had never really taken note of it because we hadn't had any problems. But on my last voyage, the ship came too close to one side and gashed itself on a rock near the shore that was mostly submerged. When I saw what happened, I panicked, and jumped ship. I was stronger back than and was able to swim to the nearest town and made my way from there to the city that was to have been our ultimate destination, to await word. I
knew at that point that, even if my shameful actions were disregarded and I could be allowed to serve on a ship, I would never be able to go to sea again. I have not the fortitude."
"And the ship?" I asked. "What happened?"
"No one survived", he answered. "In the end, the barque was worse than the bight.".
You know, everyone knows that Cleopatra killed herself, and that the method of her suicide was snakebite. However, not everyone knows that it acutally took her two attempts to get dead. See, what happened was that after she had had a snake brought to her, she launched into what you might call a suicide oration. Why she didn't just leave a note, I don't know, but she spoke at great length about what she was about to do, its import, how it could have been prevented, why a snake was particularly apposite—on and on. She rambled for so long, in fact, that by the time she brought the serpent to her breast for the bite, it had died of old age! No big deal in the end—they just got another—but there is a moral to this story: never let your speech exceed your asp.
Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
yeah, cause that means that they've run out of interesting things to say...
Posted by tweedledopey | Link to this comment | 02-21-05 2:53 PM
[redacted]
Posted by [redacted] | Link to this comment | 02-21-05 3:09 PM
Open thread? So how 'bout that Summers character?
Posted by baa | Link to this comment | 02-21-05 3:09 PM
Every thread is an open thread at Unfogged!
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 02-21-05 3:10 PM
Are you kidding Matt? Ogged's gonna delete your comment if there's no c*** joke. We're all about staying on message.
Posted by cw | Link to this comment | 02-21-05 3:13 PM
I would also be pleased to talk about the NFL!
Posted by baa | Link to this comment | 02-21-05 3:14 PM
Ben Wolfson Enterprises presents
~* A BRIEF STORY *~
-relating the humorous relation of a tragickal turn on the high seas-
-and given the title-
A BRIEF STORY
I met a traveller from an antique land, who said, "in my youth, I was a sailor on a merchant ship for many years. I finally left the sailing life when it was finally made clear to me just how dangerous it was, and that I risked my life every time we went to sea. You see, one of our most profitable routes had us going between the headlands in Benin. It's a maneuver known to be risky but I had never really taken note of it because we hadn't had any problems. But on my last voyage, the ship came too close to one side and gashed itself on a rock near the shore that was mostly submerged. When I saw what happened, I panicked, and jumped ship. I was stronger back than and was able to swim to the nearest town and made my way from there to the city that was to have been our ultimate destination, to await word. I
knew at that point that, even if my shameful actions were disregarded and I could be allowed to serve on a ship, I would never be able to go to sea again. I have not the fortitude."
"And the ship?" I asked. "What happened?"
"No one survived", he answered. "In the end, the barque was worse than the bight.".
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 02-21-05 3:17 PM
"In the end, the barque was worse than the bight."
I think our ben has just masterfully settled the debate on why Unfogged shouldn't have open threads.
Posted by Mitch Mills | Link to this comment | 02-21-05 3:23 PM
There was a debate? (And I've got more, dear sir, many more.)
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 02-21-05 3:24 PM
FL
I was jsut trying to run with the sarcasm. I didn't know there was any lower for not-too-many-low-clouds to go.
Posted by tweedledopey | Link to this comment | 02-21-05 3:24 PM
Hahaha sarcasm tags get html'ed.
Posted by tweedledopey | Link to this comment | 02-21-05 3:25 PM
Thesis: Patriots fans are the Yankees fans of the NFL. Discuss.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 02-21-05 3:32 PM
This is one of my favorite cartoons.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 02-21-05 4:03 PM
This open thread blows.
You know, everyone knows that Cleopatra killed herself, and that the method of her suicide was snakebite. However, not everyone knows that it acutally took her two attempts to get dead. See, what happened was that after she had had a snake brought to her, she launched into what you might call a suicide oration. Why she didn't just leave a note, I don't know, but she spoke at great length about what she was about to do, its import, how it could have been prevented, why a snake was particularly apposite—on and on. She rambled for so long, in fact, that by the time she brought the serpent to her breast for the bite, it had died of old age! No big deal in the end—they just got another—but there is a moral to this story: never let your speech exceed your asp.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 02-21-05 4:28 PM
Now, about banning commenters...
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 02-21-05 4:39 PM
Then on the other side of the intellectual divide...
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 02-21-05 4:45 PM
Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 02-21-05 4:52 PM
That joke was simply offal.
Posted by aj | Link to this comment | 02-21-05 4:57 PM
Is this a competition to get banned?
How many Palestinians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Trick question! They just sit around in the dark and blame the Jews.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 02-21-05 5:40 PM
So is Atrios even still blogging?
Posted by Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 02-21-05 6:03 PM
Man, Michael, you got no class.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 02-21-05 6:45 PM
That's a blue-state value, ben.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 02-21-05 7:26 PM
You got no decency neither.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 02-21-05 7:30 PM
[redacted]
Posted by [redacted] | Link to this comment | 02-21-05 7:37 PM
And FL, trying to show me up...
Ben, on the blog, I believe that's a compliment?
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 02-21-05 7:41 PM