Re: Save Me, I'm Drowning

1

In fact, she's on the short side, and a bit curvy, but it's a really luscious short and curvy.

Oh ... so you mean she looks like me? ;)

[sorry, couldn't resist]

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I haven't seen you wet and in a bathing suit (we should meet all our prospective dates at the pool), but if you say so, pg. How's your crawl?

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3

Is she age appropriate?

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I can't believe it. Twice is a row, I've killed a flirt between PG and Ogged (as well as the thread as a whole). Unintentionally.

Maybe I'm Yoko.

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5

You realize of course that she's probably married. And gay. And a nun....

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6

10 Print "Ogged you wuss"

20 Goto 10

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7

oh if only i remembered assembler well enough to kick baa's ass in computer nerdery.

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8

In my opinion the best opening line is a simple "hi".

It is quick, normal, and still breaks the ice.

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9

Oh, and gotos are BAD, but in BASIC, what are you going to do?

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10

Is she age appropriate?

She is! The Swede and I don't swim at my club--there's a nice gathering of fit young adults at the Swede's local pool. (So why not swim there? It's far away, and not as nice a pool.) The women might be gay married nuns, but I think I can work with that; at least I won't be fighting the law.

I've killed a flirt between PG and Ogged

You seem to have very complicated feelings about the Labs-PG-Ogged triangle. Do you want in, or what?

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The Labs-PG-Ogged-SomeCallMeTim love quadrilateral!

I remember a Dilbert where they were talking to some guy in the cafeteria and asked him what his job was, since he never seemed to work. He said, "I wrote the accounting software back in the 80s. It's millions of lines of undocumented spaghetti logic." Dilbert's tie sprang straight out or something -- while gotos may be bad practice, they can be good for job security.

In conclusion, I think you're ultimately better off with the short and curvy.

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12

You seem to have very complicated feelings about the Labs-PG-Ogged triangle.

Not really. Just indulging in a little "Is it me? Is it me?" after apparently stopping two threads. Although I will admit that I increasingly suspect that you are (per Bridget Jones' Diary) and Islamo-fuckwit, whose goal is to teach American womanhood to disdain a good man's (i.e., FL) plain love. Boo, Islamofuckwit, boo!

Plus, I'm hoping I made the first use of "cock-block" on Unfogged.

Do you want in, or what?

No, I know when I'm outclassed. I feel very unmanned by the realization that FL must be on the order of 6'4". That just seems wrong for someone with a PhD in philosophy.

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13

Don't worry, Tim. That Islamofuckwit won't get to me. I just want ogged for the sex. And the cock jokes. And to make FL jealous. It's FL who I really love. Sigh ...

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Hey, I thought it was obvious that we were all jostling for position with profgrrrrl.

I mean, this is a frat party, right?

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PG, you really should sigh. After all, he just came out as the Gayatollah.

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SCMT, there's a professor at Chicago (Charles Larmore) who's like 7 feet tall.

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I feel very unmanned by the realization that FL must be on the order of 6'4". That just seems wrong for someone with a PhD in philosophy.

I agree. Fontana's height is pretty inconsiderate. But pg is tiny, and her misguided love for Labs won't survive all the "look at that funny couple" comments they'll get. Let Labs run off with Jane Galt, and have enormous children, and learn about the hollow pain that is libertarian love (sorry, Labs).

you are...an[] Islamo-fuckwit

This might be true; it might be subconsciously true. And is it simply a coincidence that the co-bloggers who post least have Dedicated Entertainment Units?

I just want ogged for the sex. And the cock jokes. And to make FL jealous. It's FL who I really love.

This is shaping up to be the best first date in history.

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is it simply a coincidence that the co-bloggers who post least have Dedicated Entertainment Units?

That's a pretty crass way to refer to a husband, wife, girlfriend or boyfriend, ogged. No wonder you can't get any dates.

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You think? I kind of like it. I was going to type Significant Other, but I much prefer DEU.

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No way Larmore is that tall. Plus he believes in Natural Law (TM) which is both silly and unsexy.

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Maybe he isn't actually seven full feet (that's no fewer than 84 inches!) of Natural Law–believin' man, but he's pretty fucking tall.

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So, profgrrrl... come here often? [here I do the eyebrow thing.]

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23

((lambda (f) (f f)) (lambda (f) (display "Ogged, you wuss.") (newline) (f f)))

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DEU. I like it. Is it possible to have more than one?

(Like TVs and DVD players. Me, I have one in the living room, one in the office, one in the bedroom ...)

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"That's a pretty crass way to refer to a ...."

Crass because needlessly cruel, or crass because uncomfortably accurate?

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Little of both, I guess.

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27

It came out stronger than I intended it to, I think.

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Ogged, I'm thinking the swimming pool may not be your best hunting grounds for some not-yet-determined reason. Maybe you should give Hannidate a shot.

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Ha! Just linked to that, apostropher.

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30

Did you do a quick ring scan?

If she's attractive, she won't be available. Even if she's unattractive, she won't be available. Maybe if she's nuts she will be.

Anywho, I find that the "type" that I'm attracted to is remarkable flexible: whatever type is available, with a few minor caveats.

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31

[redacted]

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32

FL, you're on! But it sounds like I may need to wear platform shoes. Or how about the hooker boots?

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Hooker boots are welcome anytime, pg.

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See? You two are perfect. Do I even need to mention that I think hooker boots are inappropriate?

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so, FL, whatcha doin' tonight big guy?

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[redacted]

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Alas, would that it were true; unfortunately in-real-life ogged is much more uptight than ogged of the blog.

So, what's wrong with you Labs? Mites?

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38

Tragic, ogged, tragic.

I have a cold or flu or something. I've been sleeping all day, and my lungs seem to be full of liquid evil. It's quite interesting.

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39

Tragic, ogged, tragic.

You mock me.

Nevertheless, I'm glad you don't have mites.

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40

Funny, ogged, I've always thought of you as a reckless libertine. Or a big ol' freak, if that's any different.

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41

Awesome.

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42

Well, reading over the last few comments has given me greater insight into why the Red State are out-reproducing us.

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Ha. You know, once you put it that way...

We're the medieval priesthood of cyberspace, ogged. Only with less man-on-man action, Wolfson's presence notwithstanding.

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44

I was going to photoshop my face onto trevor, but that would just be creepy. Also, do you find this a little intimidating?

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45

No, still sick here too. I thought I was getting better, but seem to have fallen back into the trap of sinus hell.

Between sinus infections and mites and a parrot who will not stop whistling because he knows how much it annoys me, well, it is a fun household.

[Ogged? Are you responsible for infecting HT with mites?]

FL, meet me in Italy 2 weeks from today. We'll go out then.

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46

I was so not touching that one. In the interest of profgrrrrl's good name, I'll assume it was a cross-country train trip with her ex-husband.

And didn't Wolfson say recently that he had a girlfriend (or was hanging out with some young lady)? Am I really getting less action than Ben "riding the rules of grammar to world domination" Wolfson? Really?

Am I dead yet?

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47

Not a bad guess, ogged. All but one of those states is a state in which I had sex with ex (who I met at the tender age of 18). Only 4 of them are states involving sex with other people (3 of the ex states -- in which I actually lived, as well -- and one other state). I travel and move a lot. What can I say?

Please note number 7, in the interest of my good name.

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48

Trying to imagine a Trevor-Labs morph. *shudder*

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Am I really getting less action than Ben "riding the rules of grammar to world domination" Wolfson?

Oh God. No wonder he's been so gleeful in going on about punctuation lately. I omit all lewd grammar puns for the sake of our readers' virtue.

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Oh, and pg? What's with the 'no anonymous posts' rule on Hedgicalblog? Are you worried that trolls will bring down the level of discussion?

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Girlfriends are for failures.

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Hee. I didn't realize he was being selective about commenters. I talked him out of it. You are free to comment there anonymously now should you choose.

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Am I really getting less action than Ben "riding the rules of grammar to world domination" Wolfson?

She's taking an editing class. We bonded over correcting each others' grammar.

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54

I apologize to everyone (except Ben) for being so lame. It recently occurred to me that as the author of the blog, I could go in and edit Wolfson's comments: adding typos, misplacing punctuation, etc. But I didn't have the heart. God damn, but it would have been funny.

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So you're apologizing for a lameness that, by its nature, we wouldn't have known about had you not apologized for it? (And do you really think I wouldn't have been able to figure that out?)

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56

Damn. That rules. But leave it to Ben to take advantage of this by blaming every real typo on the ogged ex machina.

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by its nature, we wouldn't have known about had you not apologized for it?

Are you grasping this whole "confessional blogging" thing, or what?

And the changes would have been small, subtle; just enough so that only you would notice them at first, and wonder...then, someone would catch one, you'd protest, I'd say, "in fact, Wolfson's been quite shoddy lately" and your world would come crashing down.

For the record, I haven't made any changes to anyone's comments: all Ben's mistakes are his own.

[Ok, I corrected spelling for someone once last year.]

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And you de-spammed me last night.

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Which made you want to date me. Girls are so weird.

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OK, this is an entirely random, out-of-context thing, but I'm totally amused by it and needed to tell someone who wouldn't care. In the ... oh, 2 or 3 hours since I put a sitemeter on it and a link to Hedgical Trevor's blog he has had 75 hits.

Hedghogs, apparently, work as well as cock jokes for attracting crowds.

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No, ogged, I was going to LET YOU take me out. There's a difference :)

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Look missy, I'm only taking you out for baa's sake.

Just wait 'till Hedgie gets googled and all the "preteen hedgehog rape" people start showing up.

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I put up a post noting that fisting and cumshots don't make even a cameo appearance in Foucault's History of Sexuality, and my traffic surged for the week that post was on the front page.

That wasn't my intention, of course, but now that I know...

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Ogged -

Someone above cmmented on the "ring check." Can you do a ring check in the pool, or do the rings come off? This might make the whole asking random but beauteous swimmer woman thing even more fraught with peril and mystery.

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65

Isn't being turned down by someone who's married the easiest sort of rejection?

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That makes sense. But, I can remember a very passionate kiss from college, and I can remember her next words "Do you see this ring, with the red stone, that's my engagement ring..." Had it been a diamond I think I wouldn't have found myself in that situation. So there's a whole other type of error that can occur.

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