I'm sure Wolfson is dying to hear your French horn joke. I wouldn't be surprised if he had one of his own.
I think there is only one French horn joke, so if he has one he has this one, but here goes. Oh, and I'm a French horn player and so is my wife, which has nothing to do with the joke.
Three young women were room mates and were compairing notes about their previous night's dates over breakfast.
W1: We went dancing, and he was a trombone player, and he was a good kisser.
W2: Yeah, well we went to dinner and then dancing, and he was a trumpet player, and he was a great kisser!
W3: Oh, but mine was the BEST! We went to dinner, a show, and then dancing, and he was a French horn player, and he was the BEST kisser I could ever imagine!
The funny part about my experience with Tripp's joke is that I misread the last line as commentary on the joke rather than its conclusion. This, as you might imagine, made the whole thing baffling.
Congratulations. You just discovered that 50% of all Americans are below average (shocking, wot?!). Sorta like the reason that GWB won election. 50% are below average, 1% actually benefit from his policies, WTF did you expect?
You just discovered that 50% of all Americans are below average (shocking, wot?!)
It may be true that 50% of all Americans are below the average American, but that's not necessarily the case, as a moment's thought ought to convince you.
Sbe rknzcyr, fnl gurer jrer bayl gra Nzrevpnaf, naq bar bs gurz zrnfherq va ng bar havg bs nzrevpna, naq gur bgure avar jrer nyy ryrira nzrevpnaf. Gur nirentr jbhyq gura or gra nzrevpna havgf, naq gra creprag jbhyq or orybj nirentr.
You call that a calculus joke? I have a linear algebra joke that outgeeks it with both arms tied behind its back.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a grape?
Elephant times grape times sine theta.
What do you get when you cross and elephant and a mountain climber?
You can't; mountain climbers are scalars.
(I'm not actually sure linear algebra is the right field of math here.)
In Cardan's "The Great Art," the most famous 16th-century algebra book, there is what looks like a pun based on the fact that the Latin phrase for "cancelling the cross products" can also mean "dismissing the excruciating headaches involved." I understand that there is some scholarly dispute over whether this was actually meant as a pun.
A disputed possibly-pun dating from the 16th century is hoary, yup. (I know, you meant the jokes my big brother picked up from his friend who'd gone to MIT when we were still in high school.) What has a hump and is equivalent to the axiom of choice?
Under normal circumstances, the turn this thread has taken would have me caressing the "Ban IP" button. But I love that the higher-order math puns are in the Osama (pretty much)= Frank thread.
And Ben, why isn't this the "Osama" (pretty much) = "Frank" thread? After all, we called that other thread "the shit thread," not "the 'shit' thread," no?
(I admit that at first I thought you had omitted the outer quotes, and was going to make the opposite criticism.)
If I were referring to this thread directly, I would say something like this:
so-and-so said such-and-such in the "Osama" (pretty much) = "Frank" thread, which I found very hurtful.
. However, in comment 26 I was referring to the name of the thread, not the thread itself, hence the outer quotation marks. Remember:
1. This is the "Osama" (pretty much) = "Frank" thread.
2. The name of this thread is "the 'Osama' (pretty much) = 'Frank' thread".
3. The name of this thread is called "The White Knight's Song".
I initially had that as a <ul> list, but the style automatically capitalized the initial letters? Like whenever I want to make an unordered list, it means I want capitalization to be applied? What the shit?
Well, in that case I think the outer quotation marks should be as you have them in #2 above and not as they are in your comment #26. But really, all this is meant as a humorous deflation through exaggeration of use-mention criticisms.
Oh I don't know. This thread used to be funny but now it's just shrill. What's equivalent to the axiom of choice and lets you know how to obtain fast-food burritos?
Oh I don't know about different quotation-markage conventions and all that. I have always understood that " as outer and ' as inner is American, while the thing being reversed is British.
I don't know the answers to your questions, but the answer to mine is Zorn's Lemon.
So the calculus Prof hands out test results and Johnny comes up to complain about his grade. The Prof explains that there were 99 questions on the test, so it works out that if you got, say, 50 correct your percentage was 50.50505050..., and if you got 75 correct your percentage was 75.757575757575....
So poor Johnny, who indeed got ALL the answers correct, was still left with a percentage of 99.999999..., and did not get a perfect score.
"Well," huffed Johnny as he stormed off "that is the limit!"
Ha! That's rot13, actually, though you're not the first to note its similarity to Cthulese. The following is the rot26 text, which I'm sure you'll be able to transform back into the original text yourself:
For example, say there were only ten Americans, and one of them measured in at one unit of american, and the other nine were all eleven americans. The average would then be ten american units, and ten percent would be below average.
That would explain the dramatic shift this blog has experienced since swimming lessons began.
Posted by textualist | Link to this comment | 02-10-05 3:11 PM
Some people can't resist the low-hanging fruit.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 02-10-05 3:14 PM
true that.
Posted by textualist | Link to this comment | 02-10-05 3:16 PM
the low-hanging fruit
That's no way to refer to your cobloggers, you know.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 02-10-05 3:19 PM
You're right. Of course I meant invisible low-hanging fruit.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 02-10-05 3:22 PM
Great, we've moved south from cock-jokes.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 02-10-05 3:23 PM
Soon we'll be in Louisiana.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 02-10-05 3:24 PM
I'd advise against it.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 02-10-05 4:13 PM
Soon we'll be in Louisiana.
ITYM "Cuba".
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 02-10-05 5:01 PM
Swimming, imho, attracts non-aggressive people. A lot of non-aggressive people are kinda laid back. Sometimes "laid back" = intellectually lazy.
Yoga types can also be really fuzzy-brained.
Which is not to say that I dislike either yoga or swimming; I like them both.
3...2....1....
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 02-10-05 5:08 PM
...0...yup, totally wrong.
Michael Phelps lost a race and put up a picture of the guy who beat him, and kept it up until he beat the guy.
Seriously, I don't see the non-aggressiveness at all. In fact, quite the opposite: aggressive, competitive, type-a's, all over the place.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 02-10-05 5:12 PM
I have noticed some difference between in-pool conversations and outside conversations. For some reason in the pool you are a bit groggy.
And BPD, Yoga people are definitely not fuzzy brained. Maybe it's your partcular studio/crew ;)
Also, you may have noticed, but here's an article that you should have written:
Posted by Balasubramani | Link to this comment | 02-10-05 6:05 PM
"Can be" is not the same as "are." Nor is "non-aggressive" the same as "non-competitive." People.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 02-10-05 6:23 PM
FL,
What is a cob logger? Is it like a cow orker?
Personally I take all the fruit, but usually people don't notice my high-hanging fruit, so I've gotten used to emphasizing the lower humor.
For example I have a calculus joke and a French horn joke, but many people don't "get it."
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 02-11-05 8:33 AM
I'm sure Wolfson is dying to hear your French horn joke. I wouldn't be surprised if he had one of his own.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 02-11-05 8:45 AM
Calculus and alcohol are not to be mixed; do not drink and derive.
Groan.
Posted by tweedledopey | Link to this comment | 02-11-05 8:54 AM
I'm sure Wolfson is dying to hear your French horn joke. I wouldn't be surprised if he had one of his own.
I think there is only one French horn joke, so if he has one he has this one, but here goes. Oh, and I'm a French horn player and so is my wife, which has nothing to do with the joke.
Three young women were room mates and were compairing notes about their previous night's dates over breakfast.
W1: We went dancing, and he was a trombone player, and he was a good kisser.
W2: Yeah, well we went to dinner and then dancing, and he was a trumpet player, and he was a great kisser!
W3: Oh, but mine was the BEST! We went to dinner, a show, and then dancing, and he was a French horn player, and he was the BEST kisser I could ever imagine!
He sure held me funny, though.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 02-11-05 9:05 AM
The funny part about my experience with Tripp's joke is that I misread the last line as commentary on the joke rather than its conclusion. This, as you might imagine, made the whole thing baffling.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 02-11-05 9:30 AM
Only one French Horn joke, eh?
I don't have one of my own but I do have a great joke about headlands.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 02-11-05 9:39 AM
Congratulations. You just discovered that 50% of all Americans are below average (shocking, wot?!). Sorta like the reason that GWB won election. 50% are below average, 1% actually benefit from his policies, WTF did you expect?
- Badtux the Cynical Penguin
Posted by BadTux | Link to this comment | 02-11-05 9:42 AM
You just discovered that 50% of all Americans are below average (shocking, wot?!)
It may be true that 50% of all Americans are below the average American, but that's not necessarily the case, as a moment's thought ought to convince you.
Sbe rknzcyr, fnl gurer jrer bayl gra Nzrevpnaf, naq bar bs gurz zrnfherq va ng bar havg bs nzrevpna, naq gur bgure avar jrer nyy ryrira nzrevpnaf. Gur nirentr jbhyq gura or gra nzrevpna havgf, naq gra creprag jbhyq or orybj nirentr.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 02-11-05 10:04 AM
You call that a calculus joke? I have a linear algebra joke that outgeeks it with both arms tied behind its back.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a grape?
Elephant times grape times sine theta.
What do you get when you cross and elephant and a mountain climber?
You can't; mountain climbers are scalars.
(I'm not actually sure linear algebra is the right field of math here.)
In Cardan's "The Great Art," the most famous 16th-century algebra book, there is what looks like a pun based on the fact that the Latin phrase for "cancelling the cross products" can also mean "dismissing the excruciating headaches involved." I understand that there is some scholarly dispute over whether this was actually meant as a pun.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 02-11-05 11:14 AM
Those are the hoariest jokes ever, Matt.
So, what's yellow and equivalent to the axiom of choice?
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 02-11-05 11:24 AM
A disputed possibly-pun dating from the 16th century is hoary, yup. (I know, you meant the jokes my big brother picked up from his friend who'd gone to MIT when we were still in high school.) What has a hump and is equivalent to the axiom of choice?
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 02-11-05 11:41 AM
Under normal circumstances, the turn this thread has taken would have me caressing the "Ban IP" button. But I love that the higher-order math puns are in the Osama (pretty much)= Frank thread.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 02-11-05 11:56 AM
That's the '"Osama" (pretty much)="Frank"' thread to you.
I honestly thought you were talking about specific people named "Osama" and "Frank" for a bit.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 02-11-05 12:09 PM
Wait, it is possible to get too geeky/off-topic here?
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 02-11-05 12:20 PM
And Ben, why isn't this the "Osama" (pretty much) = "Frank" thread? After all, we called that other thread "the shit thread," not "the 'shit' thread," no?
(I admit that at first I thought you had omitted the outer quotes, and was going to make the opposite criticism.)
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 02-11-05 12:24 PM
If I were referring to this thread directly, I would say something like this:
. However, in comment 26 I was referring to the name of the thread, not the thread itself, hence the outer quotation marks. Remember:1. This is the "Osama" (pretty much) = "Frank" thread.
2. The name of this thread is "the 'Osama' (pretty much) = 'Frank' thread".
3. The name of this thread is called "The White Knight's Song".
I initially had that as a <ul> list, but the style automatically capitalized the initial letters? Like whenever I want to make an unordered list, it means I want capitalization to be applied? What the shit?
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 02-11-05 12:39 PM
Well, in that case I think the outer quotation marks should be as you have them in #2 above and not as they are in your comment #26. But really, all this is meant as a humorous deflation through exaggeration of use-mention criticisms.
Oh I don't know. This thread used to be funny but now it's just shrill. What's equivalent to the axiom of choice and lets you know how to obtain fast-food burritos?
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 02-11-05 12:53 PM
Oh I don't know about different quotation-markage conventions and all that. I have always understood that " as outer and ' as inner is American, while the thing being reversed is British.
I don't know the answers to your questions, but the answer to mine is Zorn's Lemon.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 02-11-05 12:56 PM
Zorn's Llama and the Taco Bell Ordering Principle, respectively.
(Or "Zorn's Llama" and the "Taco Bell Ordering Principle," if you insist.)
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 02-11-05 1:07 PM
So the calculus Prof hands out test results and Johnny comes up to complain about his grade. The Prof explains that there were 99 questions on the test, so it works out that if you got, say, 50 correct your percentage was 50.50505050..., and if you got 75 correct your percentage was 75.757575757575....
So poor Johnny, who indeed got ALL the answers correct, was still left with a percentage of 99.999999..., and did not get a perfect score.
"Well," huffed Johnny as he stormed off "that is the limit!"
Thank you, enjoy the veal. I'm here all week.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 02-11-05 1:09 PM
Can I veer off topic to my favorite biology joke?
What's the H stand for in Jesus H. Christ?
Haploid.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 02-11-05 1:17 PM
"Taco Bell Ordering Principle," if you insist
The Taco Bell Ordering Principle,, huh?
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 02-11-05 1:17 PM
Crap! Forgot to close the tag.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 02-11-05 1:17 PM
This discussion stopped making sense to me ages ago. The last thing I understood was "French horn".
And I don't even swim.
Posted by girl27 | Link to this comment | 02-11-05 1:36 PM
What's equivalent to the axiom of choice and confuses "girl27"?
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 02-11-05 1:56 PM
I'm not actually sure linear algebra is the right field of math here.
That's where I first had matrix multiplication. And I'm such a loser I laughed out loud at those jokes.
Posted by cw | Link to this comment | 02-11-05 2:43 PM
In comment 21, why is B-Wolf writing in cthulhu?
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 02-11-05 2:56 PM
girl27,
This discussion stopped making sense to me ages ago. The last thing I understood was "French horn".
Did I mention I play the French horn?
I'm just saying.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 02-11-05 3:01 PM
Ha! That's rot13, actually, though you're not the first to note its similarity to Cthulese. The following is the rot26 text, which I'm sure you'll be able to transform back into the original text yourself:
For example, say there were only ten Americans, and one of them measured in at one unit of american, and the other nine were all eleven americans. The average would then be ten american units, and ten percent would be below average.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 02-11-05 3:03 PM