well, it's just annoying because I try to come up with some back-story why they're all together, like it's valley of the lost or something, and one person survived from each region of Great Britain? and then why is the butterfly the posh one? I don't know, it's more distracting than annoying, really. god knows it's not like connie the cow is so rivetting anyway. today they learned about all the important things you could do with stones.
Well, people move around a lot these days; in Britain ambitious young people tend to move to London, and I suppose to the town or farm or whatever it is where Connie the Cow lives. (I haven't watched it.)
I get the door closed, and go out to see girl X. She is sitting in front of the TV with no panties on, spoon in hand, calmly eating an entire bowl full of white sugar.
{dies laughing} [fifteen minutes later]
I see we have a budding Olympian, boning up early for the Haagen-Daas-and-Chick-Flick Depression Derby.
ash
['Sarrrrr-gent! Advance and engage the enemy with the Chocolate Covered Sugar Bombs!' 'Aye, Sir, Chocolate Covered Sugar Bombs it is!']
My wife the developmental psychologist used to encourage the kids to get crazy in the kitchen. They'd be given a bowl and access to everything they wanted: sugar, chocolate syrup, cinnamon, coke, you name it, if it was sweet, they'd grab it. And then they'd mix it all together, and sit down and try to eat it.
You know, I'd rather change a million poopy diapers than wipe a kid's snotty nose. For a year my wife day-cared a two year old who had constant snot. Not just normal snot. ROPES of snot, like John Travolta in Battlefield Earth. He wiped it with his hands and he liked to hug.
Oh GOD. The phase where the baby will not let the tit (and therefore, you) leave once it falls asleep. And you lie there. Seething. Thinking "god, just HURRY UP and nod off already, I have things to do" and "god this is boring" and "is he asleep YET?" And then you try to sneak and yup, baby awake, waaaah. So then you clench your jaw and lay back down....
Yup. Remember it well. Very, very well.
(For the uninitiated, the reason this is so maddening is that babies nap several times a day. And every time, you go through the same rigamarole, hoping you'll manage to get away for at least fifteen minutes, maybe a blessed half hour of non-baby time where your tits can stay in your goddamn shirt for a while before the little leech wakes up again....)
On the other hand, if you're bone lazy (hi!), and rather enjoy napping and reading novels, and you don't have all that much urgent to do other than baby care, it isn't so bad. I very much enjoyed maternity leave for that reason -- "Another half-hour stuck on the couch reading a magazine with a baby-vampire stuck to my chest? I can do that. Wake me up when you want something."
Tripp, it's sure as hell better than the other option, which is listening to the kid wail and feeling astonishingly guilty the entire time. Really. I'm a selfish bitch, and I'd rather resent my kid than feel guilty. :)
My Momma tells me in the 50's they were told to put the kids on a schedule. I'm thinking since it was socially approved they didn't feel much guilt, but I'll have to ask her.
All the kids back then were potty trained by age two, too. They just had "accidents" for the next year or two.
Yeah, I know that the schedule thing was the norm back in the day. But I refuse to believe that any woman doesn't feel stress when her baby is crying and she's ignoring it, doctor's orders or no.
why do you find it irritating?
Posted by David Weman | Link to this comment | 03-10-05 2:08 AM
Baby snots-a-lot. I like that. You need to think of more creative names for husband x, and girl x too.
Posted by David Weman | Link to this comment | 03-10-05 2:09 AM
well, it's just annoying because I try to come up with some back-story why they're all together, like it's valley of the lost or something, and one person survived from each region of Great Britain? and then why is the butterfly the posh one? I don't know, it's more distracting than annoying, really. god knows it's not like connie the cow is so rivetting anyway. today they learned about all the important things you could do with stones.
Posted by alameida | Link to this comment | 03-10-05 2:18 AM
Well, people move around a lot these days; in Britain ambitious young people tend to move to London, and I suppose to the town or farm or whatever it is where Connie the Cow lives. (I haven't watched it.)
Posted by David Weman | Link to this comment | 03-10-05 4:19 AM
I get the door closed, and go out to see girl X. She is sitting in front of the TV with no panties on, spoon in hand, calmly eating an entire bowl full of white sugar.
{dies laughing} [fifteen minutes later]
I see we have a budding Olympian, boning up early for the Haagen-Daas-and-Chick-Flick Depression Derby.
ash
['Sarrrrr-gent! Advance and engage the enemy with the Chocolate Covered Sugar Bombs!' 'Aye, Sir, Chocolate Covered Sugar Bombs it is!']
Posted by ash | Link to this comment | 03-10-05 4:40 AM
Well, it's about time we got some panty-blogging around here.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 03-10-05 5:42 AM
My wife the developmental psychologist used to encourage the kids to get crazy in the kitchen. They'd be given a bowl and access to everything they wanted: sugar, chocolate syrup, cinnamon, coke, you name it, if it was sweet, they'd grab it. And then they'd mix it all together, and sit down and try to eat it.
It was actually a darn good cure.
Posted by PZ Myers | Link to this comment | 03-10-05 6:49 AM
You know, I'd rather change a million poopy diapers than wipe a kid's snotty nose. For a year my wife day-cared a two year old who had constant snot. Not just normal snot. ROPES of snot, like John Travolta in Battlefield Earth. He wiped it with his hands and he liked to hug.
And kiss.
Yuck!
I taught him to sniffle.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 03-10-05 8:04 AM
Oh GOD. The phase where the baby will not let the tit (and therefore, you) leave once it falls asleep. And you lie there. Seething. Thinking "god, just HURRY UP and nod off already, I have things to do" and "god this is boring" and "is he asleep YET?" And then you try to sneak and yup, baby awake, waaaah. So then you clench your jaw and lay back down....
Yup. Remember it well. Very, very well.
(For the uninitiated, the reason this is so maddening is that babies nap several times a day. And every time, you go through the same rigamarole, hoping you'll manage to get away for at least fifteen minutes, maybe a blessed half hour of non-baby time where your tits can stay in your goddamn shirt for a while before the little leech wakes up again....)
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03-10-05 8:17 AM
bitchphd,
On demand feeding was sure no boon to Mothers.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 03-10-05 10:26 AM
On the other hand, if you're bone lazy (hi!), and rather enjoy napping and reading novels, and you don't have all that much urgent to do other than baby care, it isn't so bad. I very much enjoyed maternity leave for that reason -- "Another half-hour stuck on the couch reading a magazine with a baby-vampire stuck to my chest? I can do that. Wake me up when you want something."
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03-10-05 11:46 AM
Tripp, it's sure as hell better than the other option, which is listening to the kid wail and feeling astonishingly guilty the entire time. Really. I'm a selfish bitch, and I'd rather resent my kid than feel guilty. :)
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03-10-05 12:22 PM
Solution: wet nurse.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 03-10-05 12:24 PM
Indeed. Damn that industrial revolution.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03-10-05 2:17 PM
Or Alameida could get Husband X to lend a teat.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 03-10-05 2:27 PM
I totally did not know males can lactate.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 03-10-05 2:46 PM
bitchphd,
My Momma tells me in the 50's they were told to put the kids on a schedule. I'm thinking since it was socially approved they didn't feel much guilt, but I'll have to ask her.
All the kids back then were potty trained by age two, too. They just had "accidents" for the next year or two.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 03-10-05 2:57 PM
Yeah, I know that the schedule thing was the norm back in the day. But I refuse to believe that any woman doesn't feel stress when her baby is crying and she's ignoring it, doctor's orders or no.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03-10-05 6:42 PM
bitchphd,
Sometimes I think a part of fatherhood (or parenting) is reassuring my wife (or spouse) that she needn't feel guilty.
I don't know if it works or not.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 03-11-05 10:08 AM