Re: Over the Backboard, Swish

1

When you tell a dumb story that has no point, and everyone just stares at you when you are finished, what do you say next? My four favorites:

And then I found my pen.

And then the cops came.

And then I realized my fly was unzipped.

And then I found twenty dollars.

horizontal rule
2

I refer to the Calvin & Hobbes in which Calvin's dad tells a story which goes nowhere and has no point (about escalators) and then Calvin hopes to himself that his childhood experiences won't someday be stories with no point.

Or I would if I ever told dumb stories.

horizontal rule
3

what do you say next?

Anyhow, speaking of fucking corpses...

horizontal rule
4

...it's legal in California.

Anwho, what's with the title to this post? Is Ogged shooting from BEHIND the basket? I don't get it.

horizontal rule
5

of course, metaphorically speaking, I understand Ogged shooting from behind the basket. This, however, doesn't seem like metaphor.

horizontal rule
6

...it's legal in California.

Not any more, it isn't.

horizontal rule
7

A victory for Feinberg, I suppose. But this could have unforseen consequences on Wolfson's choice of a graduate school.

horizontal rule
8

what's with the title to this post? Is Ogged shooting from BEHIND the basket?

It reminds me of the old Bird/Jordan McDonald's commercials: Over the freeway... nothing but net.

Or it's maybe just another HORSE reference.

horizontal rule
9

Just like that, 27. The "over the backboard swish," Michael, is the shot with which I like to finish off my hapless opponents.

horizontal rule
10

Is Ogged shooting from BEHIND

At the Mineshaft?

Okay, now I'm starting to annoy myself.

horizontal rule
11

Well, that's telling, ogged. I love me some Jordan as much as the next man, but the proper athletic referent for the over the backboard shot is, and always will be, Larry Bird. He hit at least one in a game (disallowed, IRRC) and used to hit the "behind the plane of the backboard" three with regularity.

horizontal rule
12

I remember that Bird shot. 'Twas a thing of beauty. Of course, when I was younger, I hated Larry Bird, but I've come to appreciate him.

horizontal rule
13

Because, in the long run, he played better ball than Jordan?

horizontal rule
14

No, and don't bring that shit in here again.

horizontal rule
15

That's adorable.

horizontal rule
16

Because, in the long run, he played better ball than Jordan?

Good lord, woman.

horizontal rule
17

Remember how, three minutes ago, we all liked girl27 so much for her porn naming prowess?

horizontal rule
18

For clarification, my "adorable" comment was directed at ogged. I have no opinion about this Jordan/Bird debate, since it seems to involve sports in some way.

horizontal rule
19

Of course, when I was younger, I hated Larry Bird, but I've come to appreciate him.

I wonder if that's a "growing older and wiser" thing, b/c I've walked exactly that same road. I used to make the argument that, however good the mid-80's Celtics were, there was something irredeemably evil about them in a sort of "truth is beauty, beauty is truth" fashion.

horizontal rule
20

Well, Ben, running the numbers:

Jordan - 13 seasons with the Bulls, 6 championship rings, 5 time MVP. Career avg :31.5 pts/gm, led the league in scoring 10 times. Nine times made the All-Defensive firrst team.

Bird - 13 seasons with the Celtics, 3 championship rings, 3 time MVP. Career avg: 24.3 pts/gm, was 2nd in the league in scoring once, third once, and fourth twice. Three times made the All-Defensive second team.

horizontal rule
21

Bird led by a mile, though, in having a mustache that often seemed like an optical illusion. His only real competition in that category was former British Prime Minister John Major, who might be marginally ahead there because -- and this is deep -- he didn't have a mustache at all.

horizontal rule
22

But do those sorts of highly individualistic statistics capture everything there is about being a good athlete in general and basketball player in particular?

horizontal rule
23

Of course they don't, bw. But I'm not allowed to say any more than that.

As for this...

For clarification, my "adorable" comment was directed at ogged.

I give up.

horizontal rule
24

It was supposed to be a condescending kind of thing, as in "it's so adorable that, like a child, you can't have your idols knocked for fear that your faith might be misplaced, even though you are outwardly an adult". You're the only one I adore.

horizontal rule
25

Ah, Ben, you didn't grow up with slow suburban white boys telling you over and over that Bird was better than Jordan, because "a dunk is just two points."

horizontal rule
26

But do those sorts of highly individualistic statistics capture everything there is about being a good athlete in general and basketball player in particular?

1. You really have to separate out "athlete" and "basketball player." Bird might have been the least athletic great player of the modern era. What offended me most about him was that he was manifestly great while looking like complete crap while he was playing; it was a sin against the laws of nature that he was that great.

2. It's not really a close call, even as a basketball player. Jordan is, and probably always will be, in the top 3-5 players you have to discuss when talking about "the greatest ever"; Bird's probably in the top ten.

Bird was a great shooter and a great scorer, but what made Bird special was that he understood the game so much better than everyone but Magic. So he picked up creme (like the steal from Isiah in the Eastern finals) that no one else recognized existed.

That's probably nearly as true about Jordan (see, e.g., the steal from Malone in the Finals), but he was so superior an athlete that he didn't have to resort to such insight nearly as much. He could just take people to the hole, or (at the end of his career) hit the fade-away jumper. His extraordinary performances weren't nearly as dependent (or at least as obviously dependent) on understanding the flow of everyone on the court.

Yes, I think about this stuff way too much.

horizontal rule
27

Bird was a great shooter and a great scorer, but what made Bird special was that he understood the game so much better than everyone but Magic. So he picked up creme (like the steal from Isiah in the Eastern finals) that no one else recognized existed.

That's probably nearly as true about Jordan (see, e.g., the steal from Malone in the Finals), but he was so superior an athlete that he didn't have to resort to such insight nearly as much. He could just take people to the hole, or (at the end of his career) hit the fade-away jumper. His extraordinary performances weren't nearly as dependent (or at least as obviously dependent) on understanding the flow of everyone on the court.

See, I don't see an argument here for why that makes Jordan better. And I don't buy your separation of "athlete" and "basketball player"; what I meant by that was that one could talk about athletes in general (with different sorts of highly individual statistics coming into play depending on the sport) or specialize and just talk about basketball players. To say that Bird wasn't athletic because, what, he looked like crap? Does that mean he didn't seem to be exerting himself, or something? Well, you're willing to excuse Jordan from having to display a deep understanding of the game because of his overt—let's call it not athleticism, since that's under contention, but physicality, say—why not reciprocally excuse Bird from having display such physicality because of his overt deep understanding?

It seems weirdly anti-intellectual, almost, to characterize understanding the possibilities of a game as something one "resorts" to, because you're not good enough just to muscle your way to the forefront. (There was an article by Gladwell in the New Yorker some time ago about people who can just do things amazingly well—one of them was a brain surgeon who could perform intricate operations seemingly casually—which touched on Gretzky, saying basically that he was a such a great hockey player precisely because he understood "the flow of everyone on the court".) I propose that that's ridiculous, though it is of a piece with claiming that someone's a better player because he's scored more points.

horizontal rule
28

No, you're absolutely right, Tim. Kobe, McGrady, even the Carter of a few years ago, have physical gifts nearly equal Jordan's, but they're stupid. One of the things that was amazing about Jordan was his discipline: someone would score on him on the defensive end, and everyone expected Michael to come down and school the guy right away, but Jordan almost never did that; he'd run the offense, take the shot if it was there, but probably just wait--he was in control. (Eventually, of course, he always got his revenge.) The young players just can't help themselves.

horizontal rule
29

I think you missed Tim's point, Ben. What he's saying is that people assume Jordan didn't have Bird's understanding of the game, because Jordan's physical gifts let him dominate in less subtle ways; but, in fact, Jordan did have the same sort of grasp of the game.

I think that's basically right. I will admit that Bird is the better passer. The short answer to why Jordan is the better player is: defense.

horizontal rule
30

His only real competition in that category was former British Prime Minister John Major, who might be marginally ahead there because -- and this is deep -- he didn't have a mustache at all.

Basketball, whatever. This is a koan for the ages.

horizontal rule
31

Look, even in *Boston* we recognize Jordan was better. It's not really close. I do think both Magic and Bird were more interesting players than Jordan (on offense). But that's like saying Jimmy Key is more fun to watch than Randy Johnson. It isn't really relevant to who was the more valuable player.

The suburban white boy phenomenon Ogged describes is soooo true. But then, don't we all valorize the players that (we think) our game most resembles? I was a big Sherman Douglas backer on this principle. This is a powerful force in male psychology. As evidence, I offer the claim in "Do the Right Thing" that Roger Clemens couldn't hold Gooden's jock. That's crazy talk.

horizontal rule
32

baa is, as ever, the voice of reason.

But, that Sherman Douglas mention, in context, makes me scared to meet you. He's one funny shaped dude (though I was a big fan).

horizontal rule
33

Ok... Fair enough. There is a good chance I was just trying to get a rise out of Ogged.

How do y'all feel about Bill Laimbeer?

horizontal rule
34

How do y'all feel about Bill Laimbeer?

Best elbows in the game.

horizontal rule
35

Nah, Laimbeer didn't even have the best elbows in the game. He's outclassed by Mutombo, and even by Bill Cartwright.

horizontal rule
36

And Karl Malone, who took more that a couple of players out of games.

horizontal rule
37

Yes, but I have shamelessness as a part of my algorithm.

horizontal rule
38

I deliberately left off Malone, because I didn't even want to give him props for his elbows, but yes, he belongs on the list.

horizontal rule
39

Gotta agree with Ogged about The Elbow of Mutombo. However, the overall title goes to Malone, who expanded upon the elbow routine with all those kicks and knees to the nuts.

horizontal rule
40

I imagine you, ogged, as a Rony Seikaly type presence.

horizontal rule
41

Except that Rony Seikaly is married to this lass, while Ogged practically brags about his celibacy.

horizontal rule
42

Also, it's all about Sherman's game all those unorthodox wrong foot floaters he took. That's my bread and butter.

horizontal rule
43

baa-

My guy was Pearl Washington, for roughly the same reason. I used to try those "shovel" layups all the time.

horizontal rule
44

I hate to say this, but I'm being taken to the end of this thread when I click the "comments" link.

horizontal rule
45

Read the "technology" thread. You can still do direct links to comments, but just clicking the generic "comments" link at the bottom of the post takes you to the bottom, just as in days gone by. It's what you call a, a compromise, you know? Nice and easy. Compromise.

horizontal rule
46

SCMT,

Nice! Digging deep into NBA arcana. Who will be the first to admit being influenced by Mark Eaton?

horizontal rule
47

Good good. You think I have time to keep up with all the threads here? Well, ordinarily I do, but today people keep popping into my office to talk philosophy.

horizontal rule
48

That's weird. Can't you explain to them that you're trying to do your job, and will be able to get back to the philosophy stuff after the working day ends?

horizontal rule
49

My mom used to say that I look like Rony Seikaly. Would have been more apt if I hadn't stopped growing when I was thirteen.

Take a look at this page about his wife and tell me it wasn't written by Fafnir.

horizontal rule
50

That's NSFW, y'all.

horizontal rule
51

So I discovered.

horizontal rule
52

Shit, sorry.

horizontal rule
53

I guess that fact that the URL is "http://elsa-benitez.nude-celebrities-site.com/" should have been more of a tipoff.

horizontal rule
54

Ogged wasn't lyin', though.

horizontal rule
55

I'm significantly more shocked that ogged's mom knew who Seikely was; I'm as now suspicious of all the (relatively ltd.) bitching you've done about your mom.

horizontal rule
56

Oh, my mom can be cool, when she's not being unbearable. During Jordan's heyday, she was definitely a fan, and we watched some games in which Seikaly was playing.

horizontal rule
57

I just want to try to write one full sentence without dropping or adding a word.

horizontal rule
58

Re: 45; I feel ineluctably compelled to point out that I should have been reading the "Geek Help Needed" thread.

horizontal rule