Re: Paying Attention to the Syntax of Things

1

If you end up with a motto, and it's not, "My superkoranic fellatio power will FINISH YOU ALL," well, then, there is no justice in the world.

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I'm kind of opposed to a motto for the blog, but indeed, there could be no other.

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You guys don't mind if I adopt it IRL, do you?

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Like on a T-shirt? You'll have to ask Labs.

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I was thinking more as a motto, like on a business card. And it was a joke.

How come PG never shows up here anymore? Hell, how come FL never shows up here anymore? Are the two related?

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Good questions. PG last commented on the 21st. Labs has been away, I think, though he's popped in a couple times lately. I guess now that PG knows her date with me is secure, she's coasting.

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Chycks. (I am speaking, of course, about Abu).

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8

I try to rotate my mottos. I once got in very serious trouble when my motto was "If you got pregnant, it wouldn't be the end of the world. The end of my world, but not the end of the world." My girlfriend at the time was mortified that our relationship was apparently a big fucking joke to me (a charge that is understandable, if ultimately unconvincing) and that I wasn't on the same timescale with her as regards settling down, having kids, etc. So, long story short, the proximate cause of her breaking up with me was one of my rotating blog mottos.

Thus, I support your decision not to have a motto.

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9

You just made up that motto? It wasn't taken from a conversation or something? A strange decision. But I wonder if a motto might get me a girlfriend?

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I would take mottoes from the song "Twenty-Two Proverbs". "To cut into another man's ear is like cutting into a felt hat"; "what have I got to do with Bradshaw's widow"; "names are not the pledge for things but things for names", etc.

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But I wonder if a motto might get me a girlfriend?

You mean like, "We make cock-jokes to cover our Lack"?

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Just like that. Has that worked for you?

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Nice. (And yes. (How do you think your mom and I got together?))

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Oh, boys. Looks like we'll have to settle this with a bake-off.

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How do you think your mom and I got together?

That's it? Straight to "your momma?" Sluggish this morning, Tim? Or do I flatter you?

Looks like we'll have to settle this with a bake-off.

That's funny. Now, are there any stories on your blog where you don't run away from the charming Frenchman?

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Is it that you like being addressed directly, or that you like being addressed as "love" or "honey"? I know I develop strange instant fondness for people who call me by endearments.

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It had come up in conversation before. I didn't realize how seriously important the issue of pregnancy was to her -- I thought I had just come up with a clever line based on our (obviously, to me) shared assumption that we didn't want a kid.

There are times when I think it'd be wise to go pseudonymous.

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I know I develop strange instant fondness for people who call me by endearments.

Yeah, I'm a sucker for those, too.

There are times when I think it'd be wise to go pseudonymous.

Indeed.

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That's funny. Now, are there any stories on your blog where you don't run away from the charming Frenchman?

Ooh, that hits below the single belt! ...There *could* be fairy tales like this, but that would assume that Frenchmen actually possess the ability to be charming.

Plus, my so-called readership would disappear if my blog turned into a heap of he-loves-me-he-loves-me-not: "So sorry any feminists out there reading this because... I want men to hold doors open for me, I want to feel like a princess in my husband's arms, I want to be feminine, I want to be able to cry when it all gets too much for me out there and to know that my husband is there, shining armor buffed by me, sword in hand ready to fight my battles for me."

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20

Sorry, I forgot to give credit: http://www.takeninhand.com/node/58.

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21

Well, sweetheart, in terms of attracting girlfriends, the tagline "Home of the Man Crush" - or something similar - would be attractive to me. But probably only me.

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How about "white wolf crazy fucker"?

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Apparently there's more of a concensus on "crazy shit, the white wolf".

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consensus

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Home of the Man Crush? How about, "Crushing Men Since 1906"?

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Crushingly Manly?

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that would assume that Frenchmen actually possess the ability to be charming.

Come on. While I don't, upon consideration, know any Frenchmen, it's hard to believe that it's as bad as all that.

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How about, "Crushing Men Since 1906"?

I'm covering for Apostropher.

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It's probably just that the frenchmen who think they have an easy shot at the filles américaines aren't charming. There surely exists a charming frenchman.

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Yves Montand. But I'm pretty sure he's the last.

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"he was". Damn you, Wolfson.

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Yes, I wasn't paying attention to syntax, was I? I often miss the big picture and get bogged down in details.

I know two charming Frenchmen.

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Of course, of course, I'm not stubborn enough to fight you on this. I'm sure there are charming Frenchmen. And hey, ac knows two! But it's all relative to your definition of charming. Perhaps I'm not able to be charmed. Faulty gene pool, I damn thee!

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34

I would have thought the crush videos would attract at least one comment.

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I think most people are just too afraid of clicking on the link, haha. I let my mouse hover there for a moment, and where I saw where it led, well... Let's just say I'm saving that for my next lonely Saturday night.

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correction: and WHEN I saw where it led.

ahem.

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37

The middle link (to Love and Boots) is the best and most apropos. The third is disgusting.

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Emily, I just have to tell you what a charming blog you've got.

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39

Actually, it was "Keep your jersey on, love".

Good news! Thanks to your support, (and also as a tribute to Tom Boonen, who had a super-fantastic race win today), the original EG motto's going back up.

I was feeling a little weird about that Christ joke over Holy Week, anyway.

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Ah, jersey, right, sorry. Good to see you turn back from blasphemy.

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41

How come PG never shows up here anymore?

Sorry. I've been busy. On panty blog tour '05, y'know?

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42

Are tour dates posted on your blog? Is it coming to a city near me?

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Are tour dates posted on your blog?

Now now ... I can't make it *that* easy for everyone. Only for the clever boys.

Is it coming to a city near me?

Late May. But you knew that already. I should have a specific date soon.

FL, on the other hand, has not arranged his tour date yet ...

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44

Maybe we can get Labs to join us. He needs to get out more.

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45

The more the merrier. Should you send the engraved invitation? Or shall I?

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46

Oh, that's all you. I have nothing with which to tempt Labs.

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47

I don't know ... those were some hot underwear you blogged way back when (I'm not searching for the link, but you can if you want to)

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48

Ah, you mean this You just had to look for "superhero."

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Indeed that would be the post. Thanks.

You seriously wear those????

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50

What do you mean, "seriously?" Of course!

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51

Ummm. The description reads:

There's no need to sacrifice support to allow for airflow to your nether realms.

That's just... funny. And they're not really sexy. Of course, if one's objective is to have support of and airflow to the nether realms, they're great. But if one's objective is to successfully bag the babe ... maybe not.

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Are you trying to tell me something, pg? Because I will be wearing those on our date. Are you going to wear sparklies?

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53

Hmmm. What color? Please don't say the green.

I could wear the sparklies (comfy and cute!). Or various other cute items. Got some lovely black fine mesh. Oooh, and then there's the pair that has some rhinestones along the back. I tend to not really determine these things in advance and honestly hadn't given it any thought yet. But since it is a pantyblogging date I suppose I should ...

And what will FL wear? Where the hell is he, anyway?

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54

Unfogged: Politics. Country. Philosophy. Cock jokes. (But not necessarily in that order.)

Unfogged: The Search for Clarity, Wisdom, and ogged's pants.

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55

Black, naturally.

Rhinestones? Aren't you worried you'll scratch someone? Well, surprise me.

I expect Labs to be dressed entirely in leather, for which he must be shopping at this very moment.

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Eh. Something like this is really no big deal.

This, on the other hand, would be a bit much.

Labs in leather. Sweet!

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That first one makes me think "Bullseye!"

Now I'm worried I'll be underdressed.

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Well, I'm not nuts about the first one but it is the closest to what I've got. Mine isn't a bulls-eye ... just a cute little rhinestone charm.

I guess if I'm in rhinestone and Labs is in leather you will look a bit plain ...

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More importantly, what will "trannies" be wearing? Have fun de-spamming!

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Well, that's done. Have to go out now. Night!

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that was me

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But if one's objective is to successfully bag the babe ... maybe not.

So would you really get to the stage at which ogged is in his underwear, and then turn him down because it's lame? Harsh. In for a penny, 'swot I say.

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I think the danger is that the dame bursts out laughing, despite herself, even.

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64

That sounds like something a dame would do.

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The worst part is how the dame will be so patronizingly consoling after laughing and determining that the two of you can't have sex. The word "cute" would be deployed.

Can you make it so that one doesn't have to re-check the "Remember info" thing every time one comments here?

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66

I think the danger is that the dame bursts out laughing, despite herself, even.

Exactly what I was thinking. So I take it you've had this experience before?

Laughter can be a real buzzkill in that situation.

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67

I have been laughed at in that situation, but not quite for that reason. I realize that makes it sound worse, but it's all I'll say.

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Oh, c'mon ... you can't not tell the story now. Out with it!

I don't think I've actually laughed at someone in that situation ... I just imagine that it could happen.

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Believe me, it's not myself that I'm protecting; some of the people who read this thing do know each other in real life, so sometimes I have to skip the good stories.

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Darn. And hearing that this isn't a self-protective measure makes it even more intriguing.

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71

Is this one of those, "Wow. After [X], I just assumed all Iranians had small penises. I'm glad to see I was wrong," stories?

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72

You think I wouldn't share that, even if it embarrassed someone?

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73

Well, the only other narrative that would seem to fit the facts is a story in which the underwear you wore made the person laugh, and the reason they laughed would make clear to some reader(s) that you slept with a friend's (Unf's?) wife (girlfriend?). In which case, you should definitely not tell that story. And, really, you should have to endure some sort of trial to be purified.

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Nice try, Tim.

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Oh ogged ... can't you like have a friend of a friend who was laughed at and then tell the story?

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I'll take the hit: The person involved in the story, whom Ogged is trying to spare a horrible embarrassment, is me, Adam J. Kotsko. I hereby give him permission to tell the story.

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do tell the story then, ogged! you have hyped it well enough with your faux restraint.

my only guess would be: our noble suitor de-pantses himself to reveal not (a) silly underoos, or (b) scary leather and steel garment, but (c) perfectly normal underpants that unfortunately sport egregious skid marks and/or large gaping holes. (a) or (b) would not cause recission of the transaction for all but the most wretched females. For most, (a) or (b) would probably only add further intrigue, where a good bit of interest has already been established.

(c), however, I could see ruining the evening. And quite a shame, because I (in my anonymous self) can admit fully to owning several pairs of category (c) type undergarments.

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And quite a shame, because I (in my anonymous self) can admit fully to owning several pairs of category (c) type undergarments.

I sooo didn't need to know that.

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ok -- the skid-marks admission may have been gratuitious. But everyone has an old pair of boxers with a hole in the crack. It only requires having washed them so many times.

take pity, for I am at work tonight, and this blog, though it detracts from efficiency, makes things somewhat more tolerable.

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a or b would make me laugh. As to whether or not they ruined the mood, that would depend on the person. If he took his underoos too seriously, game over. If they were a coo, casual joke it might be OK.

And c would just ... well, let's put it this way:

And quite a shame, because I (in my anonymous self) can admit fully to owning several pairs of category (c) type undergarments.

Would you wear them on a date? That's a pretty big lapse in judgement, IMHO, to wear them on a date. Or on a pantyblogging adventure.

My ex did not own such undergarments although it is possible that was due to my intervention. Heck, I'd always pitch his boxers as soon as the elastic started to go or they looked too faded or whatever and buy him new ones.

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I was laughed at for prudery, which you all should have been able to guess. And that's *really* all I'll say.

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I was laughed at for prudery

Yeah, I've had women laugh at my chastity belt too.

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"What?! You want to leave the lights on?! Are you out of your mind?!"

?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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Oh, Ogged .... you prude :)

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"All right, maybe the full-length red-flannel underdrawers are comfortable, but in August?"

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I was laughed at for prudery

Prunery? I thought you said it had nothing to do with your modest size.

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I imagine here that scene from "Weird Science" wherein the two computer nerds, invited to take a shower with their new computer-woman, each put on a pair of swimming trunks. Is that what happened?

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That's close!

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So does that mean that skinnydipping is not an activity option for our pantyblogging date? ;)

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I have never tried to keep anyone from skinnydipping.

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How can it be pantyblogging if you're naked?

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no, profgrrrl -- I would not wear category (c) on a date. But let's say that one was wearing category (c) underwear at such a time in which the planets aligned to create an unexpected sexual situation.

Let us say retrograde venus, passing into the fourth quadrant of mars (known as the unexpected booty quadrant) placed our noble suitor in a laundromat, deserted but for a single lovely lady, and that lady digged awkward young men doing laundry very much so. But, for the very reason he is doing laundry, our noble suitor is wearing an especially egregious pair of category (c). It is truly tragic, for the thing that got him there takes it all away.

It could happen.

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93

I've definitely seen my share of granny underwear, which would seem to be the female analog to what textualist is talking about. (Well, to be honest, I've probably seen less than my share; but I've definitely seen 'em on more than a couple of occasions).

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How can it be pantyblogging if you're naked?

First, there must be a procedure through which one gets nakes, which could involve pantyblogging.

Second, if you recall, the idea was that we take photos of other people dropping their drawers and post them.

and as for ...

But let's say that one was wearing category (c) underwear at such a time in which the planets aligned to create an unexpected sexual situation.

And for this reason (and also, in case you ever got into an accident and went to the ER -- didn't your mama teach you anything boy?) you simply should not have any such underwear in your wardrobe.

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I thought the answer was: never wear any underwear when visiting the laundromat.

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96

I like "nakes." Like, "wanna get nakes?" or, better, "let's do nakes." Nakes for everyone!

I'm cool with granny underwear. If they come off, who cares what they look like? And if they don't, wouldn't you rather not have been teased to within an inch of your life?

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I admit that if you're naked it will probably be easier to get the strangers to expose their drawers.

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While my credibility is shot at this point, did you know that 'naked' is actually the past-tense form of a Middle English verb 'to nake', meaning to strip? So the proposition would be "Hey, let's nake!"

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Oddly ... nakes was not entirely a typo. One of my little sisters used to object to various words (like naked) so we would alter them slightly for her.

Granny underwear are really uncomfortable. If one wants more coverage, one should go with boyshorts.

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"Let's nake" sounds too much like "let's make," which can be interpreted in unhelpful ways.

One of my little sisters used to object to various words (like naked) so we would alter them slightly for her.

This is strange, right?

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Not at all.

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102

I'm cool with granny underwear.

Truth be told, so am I. The women I like tend to own granny underwear, so seeing them is sort of confirmation of a personal prediction. In fact, I don't think I could date someone who didn't have at least one pair tucked away in the corner of a drawer. It's a bit like the no make-up thing; if you don't have a pair, you're probably be too high maintenance for me.

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103

Well, everyone has a pair somewhere. But we don't necessarily wear them, ever.


Thongs are actually quite comfortable although they take a little adjustment. String bikinis ... IMHO, not at all. Regular bikinis generally work just fine. Boy shorts are great as long as they don't have the uncomfortable seam down the middle (who the fuck dreamed that up? Definitely not a woman!). But grannies ... they just bunch up under clothes.

And yes, Ogged, that is a bit odd that my sister has word issues. We can't say puberty (or really anything with "pube" in it), maturity, etc. On the flip side, she really digs the word "vagina."

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I used to know someone in her twenties who, although not particularly sexually bashful, would for some years (she grew out of it towards the end of that decade) blush at the mention of the word "nipple."

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