Nope. This. Had to change all my hygiene products when I started swimming, because the chlorine is a killer. So the soap I used to favor (Jergens Naturals bar, which I was ordering from damn Canada, because they don't sell it here anymore), is out, because it doesn't rinse quite as clean as a glycerin soap. And I've settled (not that you asked) on Johnson's Baby Shampoo, with Bumble&Bumble Super Rich conditioner. (I mention these things, because I had a hell of a time finding good recommendations when I started swimming).
I use Ivory soap with a washrag. For shampoo, I use ... oh, I don't know.
I also use no hair products, at all. I shave once a week, because that's the average number of times I have something I want to look "nice" for. Otherwise, I usually cower in my apartment, afraid to face the outside world.
Adam, none of the above implies that you're either straight or gay. It just means that you're not a dashing metrosexual. I'm not sure if non metrosexuality is something to either embrace or see as a cause for shame.
In the shower I just use dial and the cheapest shampoo on the rack. But otherwise I'm a pretty hardcore about the metrosexuality: bumble & bumble for the hair, burt's beeswax for the hands and lips, sharp's for the aftershave. I guess softcore is a more appropriate way to put it.
Errr, I always thought that the "scrunchy things" were called poufs.
FWIW, I carry Sappho oatmeal soap to the gym, and the Vive shampoo that supposedly makes your hair look thicker. (It only seems to be working on my back, though.) I hate the gel stuff they have - smells like coconuts and makes me itch!
Getting back to ogged's original post, and nevermind the potentially metrosexual nature of the soap and/or "product" y'all are using, I just keep wondering ... is it funny if you drop the soap and have to pick it up in a communal shower?
Ogged, please tell me that you don't opt for the lavender fragrance. Even if you have to lie, please tell me that.
For my money, while those scrunchy things are pretty gay, there can be nothing gayer than importing your own soap. But I do wish they sold Ivory over here in England.
Geesh, you guys. Picking on use of fellatio as a noun? You're not supposed to care about grammar ... you're supposed to care about getting a fellatio. Get your priorities straight.
But PG, a girl started it (if I'm not mistaken about LB). That means that in this context discussing the count noun/mass noun distinction is the equivalent of discussing contemporary literary fiction and jazz music instead of shouting about cocks, right?
(How 'bout that Kavalier & Clay, huh? And that Donald Barthelme is very cool. And wanna hear about the Bill Charlap show the other night?)
Calumny, snees. I am highly interested in being fellated. However, at the moment, the only person nearby is a male, obnoxious, hirsute 40ish paralegal, from whom, all things considered, I am uninterested in receiving fellatio.
Terry Teachout is always going on about Bill Charlap. I remember that once he had a post about Charlap that also mentioned some other jazzer whose name I can't recall who recorded a quartet incorporating cello? The idea was that all the instruments were composed in some way of wood--piano, bass (probably), cello, something. I think his first name was Roger, but his last name wasn't Kimball, though that is the only last name I can think of to pair with "Roger" right now.
That's gotta be Roger Kellaway. I haven't heard any of his own-name work, though the Penguin Guide which knows all and sees all is very enthusiastic about it. He seems to do a nice job on a Helen Merrill record I have although not so as to make me say "Damn! I have to hear more of this pianna player!"
Charlap is about as mainstream as mainstream can be--not quite my paradigm taste, I'm listening to Gustafsson/Zerang on Parrot Fish Eye right now--but very very good. His trio was extremely tight, didn't go outside changes at all, and comes from a basic standards/jazz tunes repertoire (Gershwin, L. Bernstein, Mulligan, Carisi). Penguin's a big fan. They love love love his duo album with Warren Vache, which I haven't heard (my general rule is that anything Penguin gives a crown is worth hearing, even if it's completely outside my generic tastes).
Given the original context in which I mentioned it, the fact that you were the one to take me up on discussing jazz music is going to make Ogged completely lose his shit.
Oh, I didn't actually follow the link to the particular comment, since neither Firefox, which I normally use, nor IE, which I'm being forced to use these days, seems to want to respect the anchors and it's a bitch to scroll back up to whatever comment someone's actually targeted.
It's definitely Kellaway; I recognize the name now.
Tell you what, though: I'm going to a concert tonight which will serve as a record release (more accurately, 3" CDR release) for Civil War (Amy Cimini: viola; Katie Young: bassoon (& accordion the last time I saw them); Some Guy: bass drum), and I wouldn't mind receiving fellatios beyond numbering from the first two members of the group one bit. The first time I saw them I thought that they sounded kind of like the Third Ear Band but sucky ("Third Rate Band", aren't I clever), but the second time, when it was only bassoon/accordion and viola, they were really good. Bassoon and viola are, of course, two of the bestest instruments there are.
However, at the moment, the only person nearby is a male, obnoxious, hirsute 40ish paralegal, from whom, all things considered, I am uninterested in receiving fellatio.
What about self-fellating? I've heard some guys can do it.
I saw a picture once when I was, uh, doing some, uh, research for a novel. All I could think was it looked like an awful lot of effort. And what if, after all that, you turned out to be an incompetent giver of fellatios? That would really suck.
And what about hiring the fresh-out-of-college, considering-law-school style of paralegal, rather than the obnoxious-40-year-old-hirsute type? They usually move on before they get too embittered, they're smarter and more enthusiastic, and they're much more fun to contemplate sexually harassing.
(Not that I would, of course -- married, with two kids who do correct my grammar. But there's no law against gazing wistfully at the fresh-faced young boys we hire.)
What about self-fellating? I've heard some guys can do it.
I think you have to be wildly thin - like yogi thin - to do it. Although that may answer the age-old question, "Which is better, good food or bad sex?"
Well, if you're even passable, rest assured that you're probably providing a certain amount of material for the idle contemplation of sexual harassment among the female attorneys.
There -- I hope I've made your workday slightly more unsettling.
At neither of the offices in which I work have I laid eyes on so much as one female attorney. (Considering that there are only three attorneys in one of the offices, and two of them are total misogynists, that's not so surprising.)
In that case I've hopefully made your workday significantly more unsettling.
(And I have no hiring responsibilities, so I'm not actually making it difficult for older paralegals to get jobs. Still, perky enthusiasm is such a huge part of the job, and it seems impossible for paralegals to stay perkily enthusiastic for more than a year or two.)
What about self-fellating? I've heard some guys can do it.
I think you have to be wildly thin - like yogi thin - to do it. "
Nope, in PE class, the coach made us do this sort of legs-over-your-head stretch. Most of us just kinda resigned ourselves to looking ridiculous, but the (not fat, but large) guy behind me, made a real effort at it every day. Finally, most the way through the semester, "COACH! I CAN SUCK MY OWN PENIS!"
As for self-fellatiating, I imagine the chiasm would ruin that.
Don't you use liquid soap?
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 03- 2-05 2:28 PM
Nope. This. Had to change all my hygiene products when I started swimming, because the chlorine is a killer. So the soap I used to favor (Jergens Naturals bar, which I was ordering from damn Canada, because they don't sell it here anymore), is out, because it doesn't rinse quite as clean as a glycerin soap. And I've settled (not that you asked) on Johnson's Baby Shampoo, with Bumble&Bumble Super Rich conditioner. (I mention these things, because I had a hell of a time finding good recommendations when I started swimming).
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 03- 2-05 2:36 PM
[redacted]
Posted by [redacted] | Link to this comment | 03- 2-05 3:08 PM
You used a scrunchy thing in the communal shower? That does take balls.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 03- 2-05 3:15 PM
Indeed it does, but without it I used much more gel, and that was getting to be a pain. Also, I couldn't get that "totally clean" sensation I crave.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 03- 2-05 3:23 PM
Loofah, girlfriend(s). It's called a loofah.
Posted by vn | Link to this comment | 03- 2-05 3:34 PM
No, it's called a fallafel.
Posted by Bill O | Link to this comment | 03- 2-05 3:36 PM
Ummm, are you all referring to the hydro body sponge with hard strap (hee)?
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 03- 2-05 6:04 PM
I use Ivory soap with a washrag. For shampoo, I use ... oh, I don't know.
I also use no hair products, at all. I shave once a week, because that's the average number of times I have something I want to look "nice" for. Otherwise, I usually cower in my apartment, afraid to face the outside world.
I am straight, damn it! I am!
Posted by Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 03- 2-05 7:25 PM
Adam, none of the above implies that you're either straight or gay. It just means that you're not a dashing metrosexual. I'm not sure if non metrosexuality is something to either embrace or see as a cause for shame.
On the Internet, nobody knows I'm a dog....
Posted by benton | Link to this comment | 03- 2-05 7:48 PM
In the shower I just use dial and the cheapest shampoo on the rack. But otherwise I'm a pretty hardcore about the metrosexuality: bumble & bumble for the hair, burt's beeswax for the hands and lips, sharp's for the aftershave. I guess softcore is a more appropriate way to put it.
Posted by Kriston | Link to this comment | 03- 2-05 9:03 PM
Errr, I always thought that the "scrunchy things" were called poufs.
FWIW, I carry Sappho oatmeal soap to the gym, and the Vive shampoo that supposedly makes your hair look thicker. (It only seems to be working on my back, though.) I hate the gel stuff they have - smells like coconuts and makes me itch!
Posted by LarryB | Link to this comment | 03- 2-05 9:44 PM
Getting back to ogged's original post, and nevermind the potentially metrosexual nature of the soap and/or "product" y'all are using, I just keep wondering ... is it funny if you drop the soap and have to pick it up in a communal shower?
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 03- 2-05 10:59 PM
Well, it depends on the shower. And on the company.
Posted by LarryB | Link to this comment | 03- 2-05 11:08 PM
oh, hell yeah it's funny. also, don't you guys kinda think Kotsko is cute IRL? he writes cute.
Posted by alameida | Link to this comment | 03- 3-05 4:25 AM
Ogged, please tell me that you don't opt for the lavender fragrance. Even if you have to lie, please tell me that.
For my money, while those scrunchy things are pretty gay, there can be nothing gayer than importing your own soap. But I do wish they sold Ivory over here in England.
Posted by peter snees | Link to this comment | 03- 3-05 4:29 AM
there can be nothing gayer than importing your own soap.
Well I don't know. I mean, you could give someone a blow job to import it for you. That would be gayer. I think.
Posted by Mitch Mills | Link to this comment | 03- 3-05 5:29 AM
[redacted]
Posted by [redacted] | Link to this comment | 03- 3-05 7:26 AM
I don't think fellatio is a count noun -- your choices there are really "and fellatio" or "and a blow job".
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03- 3-05 7:50 AM
Are you really going to challenge Gayatollah Abu-Labs on fellatio? I'm getting out of the way before he goes all superkoranic on yo' ass.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 03- 3-05 7:53 AM
I like the count-noun construction because it sounds archaic and victorian. If Wolfson doesn't like it he can...well, you know.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 03- 3-05 8:16 AM
I was just happy to get the chance to grammatically nit-pick the proper use of the word "fellatio". It's the little things that brighten up my day.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03- 3-05 8:26 AM
Jeebus. Imagine the kids LB and Wolfson could have - there might be a level of grammar tyrrany that we don't even realize exists.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 03- 3-05 8:41 AM
Geesh, you guys. Picking on use of fellatio as a noun? You're not supposed to care about grammar ... you're supposed to care about getting a fellatio. Get your priorities straight.
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 03- 3-05 9:58 AM
LB is totally right, you know. "A fellatio"—ridiculous.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 03- 3-05 10:00 AM
Wolfson's clearly more interested in grammar than in getting a fellatio. Them are some fucked up priorities, boy. Tell him, profgrrrl.
Posted by peter snees | Link to this comment | 03- 3-05 10:02 AM
But PG, a girl started it (if I'm not mistaken about LB). That means that in this context discussing the count noun/mass noun distinction is the equivalent of discussing contemporary literary fiction and jazz music instead of shouting about cocks, right?
(How 'bout that Kavalier & Clay, huh? And that Donald Barthelme is very cool. And wanna hear about the Bill Charlap show the other night?)
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03- 3-05 10:06 AM
GIVE ME MORE FELLATIOS, PLEASE!
Posted by peter snees | Link to this comment | 03- 3-05 10:07 AM
Calumny, snees. I am highly interested in being fellated. However, at the moment, the only person nearby is a male, obnoxious, hirsute 40ish paralegal, from whom, all things considered, I am uninterested in receiving fellatio.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 03- 3-05 10:09 AM
Remember, Weiner, I am your God!
Terry Teachout is always going on about Bill Charlap. I remember that once he had a post about Charlap that also mentioned some other jazzer whose name I can't recall who recorded a quartet incorporating cello? The idea was that all the instruments were composed in some way of wood--piano, bass (probably), cello, something. I think his first name was Roger, but his last name wasn't Kimball, though that is the only last name I can think of to pair with "Roger" right now.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 03- 3-05 10:12 AM
Poor Wolfson. Me, I'm in a very large room full of women from whom I would gratefully receive fellatios, lots and lots of fellatios.
Posted by peter snees | Link to this comment | 03- 3-05 10:17 AM
That's gotta be Roger Kellaway. I haven't heard any of his own-name work, though the Penguin Guide which knows all and sees all is very enthusiastic about it. He seems to do a nice job on a Helen Merrill record I have although not so as to make me say "Damn! I have to hear more of this pianna player!"
Charlap is about as mainstream as mainstream can be--not quite my paradigm taste, I'm listening to Gustafsson/Zerang on Parrot Fish Eye right now--but very very good. His trio was extremely tight, didn't go outside changes at all, and comes from a basic standards/jazz tunes repertoire (Gershwin, L. Bernstein, Mulligan, Carisi). Penguin's a big fan. They love love love his duo album with Warren Vache, which I haven't heard (my general rule is that anything Penguin gives a crown is worth hearing, even if it's completely outside my generic tastes).
Given the original context in which I mentioned it, the fact that you were the one to take me up on discussing jazz music is going to make Ogged completely lose his shit.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03- 3-05 10:25 AM
Oh, I didn't actually follow the link to the particular comment, since neither Firefox, which I normally use, nor IE, which I'm being forced to use these days, seems to want to respect the anchors and it's a bitch to scroll back up to whatever comment someone's actually targeted.
It's definitely Kellaway; I recognize the name now.
Tell you what, though: I'm going to a concert tonight which will serve as a record release (more accurately, 3" CDR release) for Civil War (Amy Cimini: viola; Katie Young: bassoon (& accordion the last time I saw them); Some Guy: bass drum), and I wouldn't mind receiving fellatios beyond numbering from the first two members of the group one bit. The first time I saw them I thought that they sounded kind of like the Third Ear Band but sucky ("Third Rate Band", aren't I clever), but the second time, when it was only bassoon/accordion and viola, they were really good. Bassoon and viola are, of course, two of the bestest instruments there are.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 03- 3-05 10:34 AM
However, at the moment, the only person nearby is a male, obnoxious, hirsute 40ish paralegal, from whom, all things considered, I am uninterested in receiving fellatio.
What about self-fellating? I've heard some guys can do it.
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 03- 3-05 10:41 AM
I'm trying to maintain at least the appearance of being acquainted with professionalism.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 03- 3-05 10:47 AM
I saw a picture once when I was, uh, doing some, uh, research for a novel. All I could think was it looked like an awful lot of effort. And what if, after all that, you turned out to be an incompetent giver of fellatios? That would really suck.
Posted by peter snees | Link to this comment | 03- 3-05 10:51 AM
And what about hiring the fresh-out-of-college, considering-law-school style of paralegal, rather than the obnoxious-40-year-old-hirsute type? They usually move on before they get too embittered, they're smarter and more enthusiastic, and they're much more fun to contemplate sexually harassing.
(Not that I would, of course -- married, with two kids who do correct my grammar. But there's no law against gazing wistfully at the fresh-faced young boys we hire.)
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03- 3-05 10:54 AM
Well, LB, that's the kind I am. No one's sexually harassed me yet, though.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 03- 3-05 10:58 AM
Aaarggh! You know it's hard enough for old farts (say, 34 and up) to get jobs already, don't you?
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03- 3-05 11:01 AM
What about self-fellating? I've heard some guys can do it.
I think you have to be wildly thin - like yogi thin - to do it. Although that may answer the age-old question, "Which is better, good food or bad sex?"
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 03- 3-05 11:03 AM
Well, if you're even passable, rest assured that you're probably providing a certain amount of material for the idle contemplation of sexual harassment among the female attorneys.
There -- I hope I've made your workday slightly more unsettling.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03- 3-05 11:04 AM
At neither of the offices in which I work have I laid eyes on so much as one female attorney. (Considering that there are only three attorneys in one of the offices, and two of them are total misogynists, that's not so surprising.)
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 03- 3-05 11:05 AM
In that case I've hopefully made your workday significantly more unsettling.
(And I have no hiring responsibilities, so I'm not actually making it difficult for older paralegals to get jobs. Still, perky enthusiasm is such a huge part of the job, and it seems impossible for paralegals to stay perkily enthusiastic for more than a year or two.)
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03- 3-05 11:12 AM
You don't necessarily have to be thin or tall to self-fellate (see Jeremy, Ron), but I understand that it helps a lot.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 03- 3-05 11:14 AM
Surely this is grounds to rework the infamous "...and a pony" post along "...and a fellatio" lines.
Yeah, and then maybe my dream of getting some love too from Brad DeLong might come true! And a blowjob! From a pony!!
You know, besides having a great blog, Brad DeLong sure has a great pornstar name.
Posted by Mitch Mills | Link to this comment | 03- 3-05 11:55 AM
What about self-fellating? I've heard some guys can do it.
I think you have to be wildly thin - like yogi thin - to do it. "
Nope, in PE class, the coach made us do this sort of legs-over-your-head stretch. Most of us just kinda resigned ourselves to looking ridiculous, but the (not fat, but large) guy behind me, made a real effort at it every day. Finally, most the way through the semester, "COACH! I CAN SUCK MY OWN PENIS!"
As for self-fellatiating, I imagine the chiasm would ruin that.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 03- 3-05 12:19 PM