Re: The Single Life

1

I hear the cry of pain under that manly bluster. Take time to grieve. Then I'll meet you at the Mineshaft in, like, twenty minutes.

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2

Where the cries of pain will begin in earnest.

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3

Depends on whether those injections work, I guess.

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4

I suggest that you go to a Charming Hostess show, either on Thursday at the Starry Plough, 3101 Shattuck Ave. in Berkeley, or next Friday, the 11th, at the Hemlock Tavern, 1131 Polk in SF. Assuming, of course, that you can get out to the bay area in time from wherever it is you make your home. "A hoedown where bodacious babes belt the blues in Bulgarian while a punk-klezmer band rocks out in accompaniment." And they're nice Jewish girls, to boot.

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5

I'm just being cranky and need to get my ass out of the house

Ease up on the cranky - just a little - and you're gonna be just fine. Because... Wooo! That ass!

You're going to look and smell more single now, too. Be prepared.

xoxo

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6

Ogged wears the same thing every day, girl. (Can I call you that? "Girl27" sounds like a first and last name—Girl Twenty-Seven—and I'm going for something more informal.) That's not "single" he smells like.

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7

Gosh, I was gonna be girly about it and pat you on the shoulder and say "there there, I'm sorry you will miss your ex" but then I forgot where I was.

So yeah. Get your ass to the Mineshaft, pussy.

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8

Wolfson -

See, that's funny to me. I can't call her "Girl27" because it sounds, from my mouth, inappropriately sexual - like Girl6 or 7 of 9. It's OK from her, b/c ... well, it's her. Pretty much the same reason I can't call BPhD "Bitch."

Ogged -

The fact that you were hanging out so regularly with the ex after the end of the engagement fortells a long and lonely life for you. I mean, why buy the cow when you can get the emotional milk for free. I say this as someone soon to join y'all at the Mineshaft.

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9

Wow, Tim. You always know just the right thing to say.

Wolfson - you can call me whatever you like. Girl's fine. 27's fine. Seven's fine. Take your pick.

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10

You can call me Ray, or you can call me Jay...

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11

And for the record - I know Ogged just a little, and I can't imagine he smells like anything but goodness and soap.

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12

Here you go, Ogged. Use it sparingly.

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13

Hey, what's the Mineshaft? I don't know what it is, but I'm ready to say me too.

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14

Hey, Charming Hostess! I was good friends with Julie Eisenberg in high school, but lost touch in college -- every so often I look up the band online to make sure she's still doing okay. I should probably get back in touch with her, but I'm pathologically anti-social.

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15

You know that under the mockery, there's love, right?

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16

Do you know when she started spelling her name "Jewlia"? (And, even though I know neither her nor you, I think you should get in touch with her, because anyone who records a song cycle based on the diaries of Asja Lacis and Walter Benjamin must be good for one or two interesting conversations.)

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17

College, after I dropped out of touch with her. I know, because I kept in touch with a mutual ex-boyfriend (dated me, then her) for a couple more years after that.

(Actually, while we're talking about ambiguous sexual orientation, the mutual ex, after dating her, came out as gay. Shortly after college graduation, he got a job with a non-profit as a sort of political-gay-community liason, so he pretty much needed to be gay to do his job. Shortly after that, he met a nice lesbian who worked at the same place and fell in love. After they moved in together, they both had to keep the relationship secret at work -- sort of locked-out-of-the-closet. Last I heard, he was happily married to the lesbian, and both were still firmly queer-identified. None of this has anything to do with Julie, I just thought it was funny.)

And she's great, or was in high school. Smarter than anyone, and fucking crazy.

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18

LB, that's hilarious and beautiful.

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19

I really need to adopt Kriston's attitude: I don't know what it is, and it's probably bad, but it sounds like a party, so I'm in. The Mineshaft, K-man, is, as I use it, a pretty common name for a gay/leather bar. I'm sure Fontana uses it to refer to a specific bar, of which he has many traumatic memories.

It's tough to come to these threads late. Best as I can tell, Bob is telling me to buy tickets to get to Berkeley to see a show recommended by Wolfson, put on by a crazy person that Lizard Breath just happens to know. Yes? Meanwhile, while appearing to comfort me, girl27 is still making eyes at Wolfson, who's probably this close to breaking out Zeno's paradox to explain why he can't go see her.

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20

I've always thought it was an object lesson on the importance of keeping an open mind.

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21

but it sounds like a party, so I'm in

Whoo hoo! C'mon Ogged, we're gonna shotgun these beers and go donate bone marrow!

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22

Hey, Charming Hostess does sound really interesting. Who wants to spring for tickets and meet me by the Bay?

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23

Safe trauma is hot trauma, O.

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24

Ogged, you mean spring for plane tickets, right? Cause if you're asking your date to buy the tickets for you, I'm pretty sure that's not done. (If I were made of money and time, I'd be there.)

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25

girl27 is still making eyes at Wolfson, who's probably this close to breaking out Zeno's paradox to explain why he can't go see her.


Wolfson has a paradox? Cool! I hope he wears them when he visits.

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26

Meanwhile, while appearing to comfort me, girl27 is still making eyes at Wolfson, who's probably this close to breaking out Zeno's paradox to explain why he can't go see her.

Hey man, I took calculus. Zeno holds no water with me. And even so, I would break all the laws of space and time to meet the girl who tops out msn's and google's searches for "hot sexy small girls". (Google's only works if you enclose the search in quotation marks.)

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27

No, it's Thales who holds no water.

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28

I would think Thales holds essentially nothing but water?

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29

Now, Anaximander--no water.

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30

Can anyone tell if Wolfson is more likely to run off with girl27 or Matt Weiner?

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31

Ooooh! I hope it's both!

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32

Wait, now she's coming on to me. OK, Girl, let's cut out the middleman, and we can drop by and see Wolf later if you want.

(Did I do that right?)

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33

Think you muffed it, Matt.

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34

Trying to deprive 27 of her threesome? No, I don't think you did that right.

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35

Don't worry, Matt. We'll save you a seat at the Mineshaft.

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36

[cry cry masturbate cry]

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37

I forgot to mention my handicap du jour

Priceless. The best part is, you probably don't even care, do you? You're officially a swimmer!

Hot hot hot.

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38

Lone Ranger tan!

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39

Late as usual and location-challenged as I am, I can only ask "Which Zeno's padarox, the Achilles one or the arrow one?"

God I'm lame.

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40

It's tough to come to these threads late.

Story of my (on-line) life lately. Your cliff notes version was excellent, though.

Tripp, I think this was the pair 'o docs.

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41

Actually, Tripp, aren't there three Zeno's paradoxes?

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42

Does one of them involve achilles and a trolley?

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43

ben,

Good catch!

To be completely pedantic there were three Zeno's, and one of them presented four paradoxes.

Most people know the "tortoise and hare," and I remembered the "halve the distance" one, and I once learned (but forgot!) the "Arrow in flight" one, but checking now I see there was a Stadium one!

Thanks for pointing this out! I used to collect paradoxes.

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44

I have was having trouble getting to sleep the other night, so eventually, being the exciting man of mystery that I am, picked up Berlinski's A tour of the Calculus, and in short order came across this:

"... In order to reach the wall he would have first to cross half the room, and then half the remaining distance again, and then half the distance that yet remains. 'This process,' Zeno wrote in an argument still current in fraternity houses (where it never fails to impress the brothers, 'can always be continued and can never be ended'"

The juxtaposition and Zeno and Frats immediately made me think of Unfogged, and then I really had trouble getting to sleep.

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45

Way late to the party, but I just had to say that I've been searching (well no, that seems more active than what I've been doing) for that great song I heard on KALX all those years ago. And all y'all have led me to it! Charming Hostess! Now, if only I can find someone who has the CD in stock...

Damn, it's Thursday. I used to live just around the block from the Starry Plough. Hemlock Tavern, you say?

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46

I just searched for "charming hostess" in iTunes and it said, "Did you mean 'Hanging Hooters?'".

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47

Home is anywhere you hang your hooters.

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48

If I remember right, I was never able to understand the stadium paradox. Oh well.

So ogged, did you go to the concert, or not?

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49

So ogged, did you go to the concert, or not?

Just check the timestamps on my comments from last night.

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