First, let's admit that the first distinction is male/female. 40-yr old female professors who are possibly looking to get laid are a rare and welcome treasure; 40-yr old male professors possibly (read probably) looking to get laid are (a) the norm, and (b) creepy.
I think the last line gets it -- if you aren't actually trying to pick up your students, or obviously restraining your desire to do so, it isn't skeezy regardless of the age gap. (It may be lame -- forty-somethings pretending they're twenty-something are pathetic even if not sexually inappropriate -- but not skeezy).
There was a professor at Chicago notorious for her student-lovin' ways. Or if not outright student-lovin', at least quite student-friendly. She had quite a following but the whole thing seemed pretty lame to me.
Wolfson, please tell me that you didn't pass on a non-trivial shot at a professor. (NB: The only professors who ever hit on me were gay; I, sadly, am not). You have an obligation to pursue opportunities that are not readily available, and share said information with society at large. What do you think the motivating impulse for the progression of civilization is? Why, oh why, do you hate civilization, Wolfson?
I was only in the first meeting of one of her classes, to which I dragged the guy who was living next door to me. The class was supposed to be about Kafka, but she spent the entirety of the first meeting alternately soaking up adulation and talking about Lacan (I have now conclusively identified her to anyone in a position to know, I think). I, disappointed with the way the class appeared to have nothing to do with, you know, Kafka, ceased attendance; the dude who went with me, though, was enthralled (which is the only reason I know anything about her). I don't know exactly what you mean by "non-trivial shot" (wouldn't the desirable shots be trivial, ie, not requiring much work?), but this dude certainly had one with her. I don't know if it was actualized, though.
I credit convincing him to go to that class with starting his gradual though increasingly rapid descent into Chicago-style hipsterism.
Okay, first of all, I knew two professors who were married (to each other), who showed up, when invited, to student parties, and who were a lot of fun. No skeeziness--but, then, they were >60, so . . .
Second, in what department was the Chicago person? Or you could just email me and tell me who it was and save me trying to figure it out.
No, sorry, old people acting outside of old person contexts always seem skeezy and, yes, all the kids are talking smack about you behind your back. There's just no getting around it. Meanwhile, I'm going bald.
My roommate just walked in and told me I have to get off so we can watch Summerland. Which seems related to this discussion, since it just seems wrong that I know who Jesse McCartney is. What is he, 16?
No, sorry, old people acting outside of old person contexts always seem skeezy and, yes, all the kids are talking smack about you behind your back. There's just no getting around it. Meanwhile, I'm going bald.
Could you define what you mean by "old people?" I would really love to hear it.
I can remember going to parties when I was a grad student, and having the married (male) professors dancing closely with the unmarried (female) grad students. I told my wife if I ever did that to take me out and shoot me. It was just so damn depressing.
First, let's admit that the first distinction is male/female. 40-yr old female professors who are possibly looking to get laid are a rare and welcome treasure; 40-yr old male professors possibly (read probably) looking to get laid are (a) the norm, and (b) creepy.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 03-28-05 1:43 PM
I think the last line gets it -- if you aren't actually trying to pick up your students, or obviously restraining your desire to do so, it isn't skeezy regardless of the age gap. (It may be lame -- forty-somethings pretending they're twenty-something are pathetic even if not sexually inappropriate -- but not skeezy).
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03-28-05 1:46 PM
There was a professor at Chicago notorious for her student-lovin' ways. Or if not outright student-lovin', at least quite student-friendly. She had quite a following but the whole thing seemed pretty lame to me.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 03-28-05 1:48 PM
To keep the frathaus feeling credible -
Wolfson, please tell me that you didn't pass on a non-trivial shot at a professor. (NB: The only professors who ever hit on me were gay; I, sadly, am not). You have an obligation to pursue opportunities that are not readily available, and share said information with society at large. What do you think the motivating impulse for the progression of civilization is? Why, oh why, do you hate civilization, Wolfson?
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 03-28-05 1:58 PM
I was only in the first meeting of one of her classes, to which I dragged the guy who was living next door to me. The class was supposed to be about Kafka, but she spent the entirety of the first meeting alternately soaking up adulation and talking about Lacan (I have now conclusively identified her to anyone in a position to know, I think). I, disappointed with the way the class appeared to have nothing to do with, you know, Kafka, ceased attendance; the dude who went with me, though, was enthralled (which is the only reason I know anything about her). I don't know exactly what you mean by "non-trivial shot" (wouldn't the desirable shots be trivial, ie, not requiring much work?), but this dude certainly had one with her. I don't know if it was actualized, though.
I credit convincing him to go to that class with starting his gradual though increasingly rapid descent into Chicago-style hipsterism.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 03-28-05 2:09 PM
his gradual though increasingly rapid descent into Chicago-style hipsteris
Wait. I thought Unf was ogged's age.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 03-28-05 2:16 PM
I was just writing about this - about feeling way too old to go clubbing. But I do actually look like I'm 19, so at least I don't garner weird stares.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 03-28-05 2:24 PM
Okay, first of all, I knew two professors who were married (to each other), who showed up, when invited, to student parties, and who were a lot of fun. No skeeziness--but, then, they were >60, so . . .
Second, in what department was the Chicago person? Or you could just email me and tell me who it was and save me trying to figure it out.
Posted by Emma Goldman | Link to this comment | 03-28-05 2:33 PM
Yeah, I could, 'cept I can't seem to locate your email address. Slavic.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 03-28-05 2:35 PM
No, sorry, old people acting outside of old person contexts always seem skeezy and, yes, all the kids are talking smack about you behind your back. There's just no getting around it. Meanwhile, I'm going bald.
Posted by Matthew Yglesias | Link to this comment | 03-28-05 6:32 PM
MY is wrong. It completely depends on the particular old person.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 03-28-05 6:39 PM
(Goddam whippersnappers.)
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03-28-05 6:42 PM
Ben, is this a case of you having a sense of humor so fine that no joke can violate it?
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 03-28-05 6:42 PM
I can see how an extremely generous construction might regard MY's comment as a recognizeable attempt at a tired form of old-man humor, I suppose.
IOW "yes".
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 03-28-05 6:48 PM
Wolfson,
How old is your girlfriend?
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 03-28-05 6:48 PM
One year less two weeks older than myself, Tim.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 03-28-05 6:50 PM
"Older than me", I should say, or "older than I am".
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 03-28-05 6:50 PM
Someday a feedback loop will deliver us from Wolfson.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 03-28-05 6:55 PM
My roommate just walked in and told me I have to get off so we can watch Summerland. Which seems related to this discussion, since it just seems wrong that I know who Jesse McCartney is. What is he, 16?
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 03-28-05 6:58 PM
MY,
No, sorry, old people acting outside of old person contexts always seem skeezy and, yes, all the kids are talking smack about you behind your back. There's just no getting around it. Meanwhile, I'm going bald.
Could you define what you mean by "old people?" I would really love to hear it.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 03-29-05 10:22 AM
I can remember going to parties when I was a grad student, and having the married (male) professors dancing closely with the unmarried (female) grad students. I told my wife if I ever did that to take me out and shoot me. It was just so damn depressing.
Posted by Dave | Link to this comment | 03-29-05 1:18 PM
I just posted a story with this theme.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 04- 4-05 12:31 PM
wow, you young people are uptight and judgemental. let others do what they want - why do you care?
Posted by hakeem | Link to this comment | 06-17-05 10:26 AM