Personally, I'm waiting for a context to come up where I can call someone a tool and then apologize profusely for the unduly harsh insult. Because seriously, that's beyond the pale.
I'm sorry I called Eugene "George." I didn't know his proper name.
I hope Saheli sticks around, and I hope Eugene shows up so I can get to know him as a person and can settle things down if they need to be. I hope he can see that I poke fun at myself as much as at anyone else.
Speaking of being handy with tools, I asked the guy I'm seeing if he could do a DYI task for me at my house, and he replied, "You may as well ask me to grow my own food."
Once you're asking the guy you're seeing to do it, doesn't that take it completely out of the realm of DIY? The 'Y' loses a certain amount of applicability.
I can't believe that I need to point this out to you, of all people, but you're ignoring the reflexivity of 'Yourself'. For the phrase to work, the one who desires the work done must be the same as the one who does it, otherwise it would simply be a "You Do It" project.
Using the supplied allen wrench to bolt together the three pieces of thinly veneered plywood that form a Skraarg does not qualify as made some of my own furniture
Ah, but there is the second personal plural, no? There is a sense in which the item came to both of us, and within that "vous" (as it were), I could have been using "tu."
(I just don't want to be dyslexic and grammatically incorrect in one day.)
Using the supplied allen wrench to bolt together the three pieces of thinly veneered plywood that form a Skraarg does not qualify as made some of my own furniture
I love it when I can hear the near-suicide in Tim's comments. I didn't make a couch or anything, but I did see a table lamp that I liked, decided it would be better as a floor lamp, got some lumber, had it cut, sanded and assembled it, added a base and set the lamp atop it. Voila, nifty floor lamp. Give me one good reason I shouldn't have sex before you do.
That's interesting, ogged. I once found a woman's boot on the street, and made a table lamp out of it. I found it several years ago, though, and just made the lamp last year. Before that it used to hang upside-down from my ceiling, sometimes with a bulb and lampshade depending from it.
I can tell you two things: Wolfson is just like this in real life, and he almost had me turn directly into oncoming traffic. Draw your own conclusions.
I'm not quite sure what the this is that I'm supposed to be just like in real life, so I'll let that be, but I would have phrased the second part as "... and he once kindly adverted to the fact that a traffic light had turned green".
"... and he once kindly adverted to the fact that a traffic light had [just]turned green[without troubling me about the cars that were coming in the opposite direction]".
Give me one good reason I shouldn't have sex before you do.
This wasn't addressed to me, but I'll answer as an objective third-party. The answer is, of course, because you apparantly think there's some correlation between making a floor lamp and getting laid.
I didn't mean that your enjoyment of ARRRs was your motivation in embracing piracy, but rather that it was a sign by which your piracy was visible, and the basis of my bet.
I don't like to spend my lifeforce anyway. ...of the species "Making a Virtue Out of a Vice." Anyway, given PG's last comment, it doesn't look like your "lifeforce" will be called on any time soon.
I was doing some research in 19th century correspondence and came across the following insult, in reference to a Senator: "He hasn't enough snap in him to beget children."
Speaking of old sayings, this morning I was reading some Ben Franklin "Poor Richard's almanacs" quotes in a Saturday Evening Post (which is OBVIOUSLY targeted for the over 65 set but this was in a Doctor's waiting room and it was either that or the Mayo Clinic Newsletter - Polyps and You) and I could 'get' almost all of them except the following:
I think it means that fools try to learn about things by reading public notices posted on walls and doors rather than buying a paper from Ben Franklin where such information is compiled and annotated.
Personally, I'm waiting for a context to come up where I can call someone a tool and then apologize profusely for the unduly harsh insult. Because seriously, that's beyond the pale.
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 7:32 AM
You can call me a tool if you like.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 7:34 AM
Who knew the abject non-apology was your metier?
It would be good to hear from him, but I really want to know the father-in-law's opinion.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 8:06 AM
I'm sorry I called Eugene "George." I didn't know his proper name.
I hope Saheli sticks around, and I hope Eugene shows up so I can get to know him as a person and can settle things down if they need to be. I hope he can see that I poke fun at myself as much as at anyone else.
And when did "tool" get to be an insult?
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 8:10 AM
And when did "tool" get to be an insult?
At least fifteen years ago, by my recollection.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 8:12 AM
At least fifteen years ago, by my recollection.
ogged,
Do you have something you'd like to share with the class?
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 8:18 AM
You can't handle the truth.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 8:20 AM
"Tool," not "truth." Jesus Christ.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 8:21 AM
I thought of it, now have to say it:
Some of us are more handy with tools than others.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 8:24 AM
I thought of it, now have to say it
Another possible motto for the blog.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 8:27 AM
"Tool," not "truth." Jesus Christ.
And ye shall know the tool, and the tool shall make you free. -John 8:32
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 8:46 AM
Oh but first it'll hurt, a lot.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 8:49 AM
Speaking of being handy with tools, I asked the guy I'm seeing if he could do a DYI task for me at my house, and he replied, "You may as well ask me to grow my own food."
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 9:24 AM
DYI = Do Yourself In? Don't Yank It? I wouldn't know where to begin either, and I've even made some of my own furniture.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 9:28 AM
Oops.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 9:32 AM
Poops?
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 10:59 AM
I always feel an urge to make a poop joke when I think of Ian Proops. Then I feel bad, because that's so juvenile.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 11:18 AM
Once you're asking the guy you're seeing to do it, doesn't that take it completely out of the realm of DIY? The 'Y' loses a certain amount of applicability.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 11:20 AM
No no, LB, it's "do it yourself". Not myself.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 11:20 AM
DIY, definitely the imperative mood, as far as I'm concerned.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 11:26 AM
I can't believe that I need to point this out to you, of all people, but you're ignoring the reflexivity of 'Yourself'. For the phrase to work, the one who desires the work done must be the same as the one who does it, otherwise it would simply be a "You Do It" project.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 11:27 AM
Yeah, I know.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 11:28 AM
Using the supplied allen wrench to bolt together the three pieces of thinly veneered plywood that form a Skraarg does not qualify as made some of my own furniture
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 11:33 AM
Ah, but there is the second personal plural, no? There is a sense in which the item came to both of us, and within that "vous" (as it were), I could have been using "tu."
(I just don't want to be dyslexic and grammatically incorrect in one day.)
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 11:38 AM
Jeez, Wolfson, it's no fun correcting you if you're going to be like that. Commit ritual suicide or something, shouldn't you?
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 11:45 AM
"I know" wasn't an acceptance of your correction, but a claim that I had already known, and had deliberately ignored the reflexivity of "yourself".
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 11:51 AM
Scofflaw. Deliberate committer of solecisms.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 11:55 AM
I like the term "toolio" because it brings to mind pithy, non-annoying rap-pop, and my senior year of highschool. discuss.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 12:26 PM
A toolio can hold two quartos of booze without getting drunk. Discuss.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 12:33 PM
Using the supplied allen wrench to bolt together the three pieces of thinly veneered plywood that form a Skraarg does not qualify as made some of my own furniture
I love it when I can hear the near-suicide in Tim's comments. I didn't make a couch or anything, but I did see a table lamp that I liked, decided it would be better as a floor lamp, got some lumber, had it cut, sanded and assembled it, added a base and set the lamp atop it. Voila, nifty floor lamp. Give me one good reason I shouldn't have sex before you do.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 12:57 PM
That's interesting, ogged. I once found a woman's boot on the street, and made a table lamp out of it. I found it several years ago, though, and just made the lamp last year. Before that it used to hang upside-down from my ceiling, sometimes with a bulb and lampshade depending from it.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 1:00 PM
B-wo, that sounded kinda like this. Are you sure you're safe to be around?
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 1:04 PM
Are you sure you're safe to be around?
I can tell you two things: Wolfson is just like this in real life, and he almost had me turn directly into oncoming traffic. Draw your own conclusions.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 1:09 PM
It's a kind of Nice Pete vibe.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 1:11 PM
That's a total lie, or at least overstatement, ogged.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 1:12 PM
How would you put it?
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 1:13 PM
I'm not quite sure what the this is that I'm supposed to be just like in real life, so I'll let that be, but I would have phrased the second part as "... and he once kindly adverted to the fact that a traffic light had turned green".
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 1:15 PM
I can work with that.
"... and he once kindly adverted to the fact that a traffic light had [just]turned green[without troubling me about the cars that were coming in the opposite direction]".
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 1:18 PM
Give me one good reason I shouldn't have sex before you do.
This wasn't addressed to me, but I'll answer as an objective third-party. The answer is, of course, because you apparantly think there's some correlation between making a floor lamp and getting laid.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 1:31 PM
That's a total lie, or at least overstatement
an overstatement, ben. Mind your parrallels.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 1:32 PM
I think Ben was searching for the phrase "untrue and completely blown out of proportion."
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 1:35 PM
Hay Micahel! I bet your, like, a pirate cuz you sure do like ARRRRs!
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 1:39 PM
Actually, I'm like a pirate for an entirely unrelated reason.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 1:41 PM
You have a peg leg?
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 1:41 PM
He can't hit? (That link good in perpetuity.)
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 1:44 PM
I didn't mean that your enjoyment of ARRRs was your motivation in embracing piracy, but rather that it was a sign by which your piracy was visible, and the basis of my bet.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 1:44 PM
Not so's you'd know. But I do get booty.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 1:44 PM
References to burying treasure in mineshafts to follow in 5... 4...
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 1:46 PM
You wouldn't believe what I've found in Davy Jones' locker at the Mineshaft.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 1:48 PM
Buried Treasure!
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 1:49 PM
The answer is, of course, because you apparantly think there's some correlation between making a floor lamp and getting laid.
At least it gives some empirical evidence that he's good with his tool[s].
Posted by DominEditrix | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 1:49 PM
Ogged's humor has eluded me.
Ben, my dear fellow, you shouldn't judge a pirate by his ARRRs.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 1:54 PM
Give me one good reason I shouldn't have sex before you do.
Given that you're starting at wasting weight, I doubt you can spare the precious bodily fluids.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 1:56 PM
That's probably true. I don't like to spend my lifeforce anyway. It's a nice touch that your reason evinces concern for my health.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 1:59 PM
Advantage, SCTM.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 1:59 PM
I don't like to spend my lifeforce anyway. ...of the species "Making a Virtue Out of a Vice." Anyway, given PG's last comment, it doesn't look like your "lifeforce" will be called on any time soon.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 2:01 PM
oh snap
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 4:52 PM
oh snap
(Historically) True story:
I was doing some research in 19th century correspondence and came across the following insult, in reference to a Senator: "He hasn't enough snap in him to beget children."
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 04-26-05 8:34 PM
you guys are all totally nuts, and I love you.
Posted by alameida | Link to this comment | 04-27-05 6:45 AM
Speaking of old sayings, this morning I was reading some Ben Franklin "Poor Richard's almanacs" quotes in a Saturday Evening Post (which is OBVIOUSLY targeted for the over 65 set but this was in a Doctor's waiting room and it was either that or the Mayo Clinic Newsletter - Polyps and You) and I could 'get' almost all of them except the following:
Doors and walls are fools paper.
WTF?
Can anyone help me out here?
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 04-27-05 9:32 AM
An anti-graffiti, anti-sloganeering maxim, maybe?
OR
What you say, even when you think you're in a private setting, is overheard and thereby preserved.
Dunno.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 04-27-05 9:37 AM
I think it means that fools try to learn about things by reading public notices posted on walls and doors rather than buying a paper from Ben Franklin where such information is compiled and annotated.
Or, maybe it is an eavesdropping slam.
Posted by joe o | Link to this comment | 04-27-05 10:35 AM
joe,
Yeah, I think you are right. Perhaps in Franklin's day there were billboards posted on doors and walls that contained fraudelent information or hype.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 04-27-05 11:06 AM
it is closely related to my favorite maxim:
He who writes on shit-house walls/
Rolls his shit in little balls/
He who reads these words of wit/
Eats the little balls of shit.
Of course, Franklin's was shorter, but lacking in color, I think.
Posted by textualist | Link to this comment | 04-27-05 11:11 AM