Re: I do, however, ask people to feel my pipes.

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Oh, man, that's funny -- the guy is such a typical crazy-big-firm guy. None of the places I've worked have had a sexual harassment problem (that I knew about) but there's a distinct type of partner who has simply lost all contact with normal forms of human interaction that I've known a number of. All of mine were just obnoxious weirdos rather than sexually obnoxious weirdos, but the tone is exactly the same: "What, normal people don't ask clients to feel their pipes? Really?"

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Did you know (he) lays in your bed?

Did you know (he) puts your panties on his head?

This reminded me of Green Eggs and Ham, which has now taken on a sexual air that's creeping me out.

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There a few industries that really seem to be unable to clean it up. Law firms, printing companies, and restaurants all leap to mind.

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There's a lawyer where I work (one of, say, three) who's just incredibly sexist and misogynist. Such an asshole.

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Green Eggs and Ham totally has a weirdly sexual/stalker vibe: "Would you do it in a boat? Would you do it with a goat?" And the repeated, plaintive cry of "I do not like them, Sam-I-am!" Finally, at the end, the hapless protagonist surrenders, and finds that he enjoys his abasement...

I figure as long as the kids aren't picking this up, it's all good.

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"Sometimes I touch men's breasts. May I go home now?"

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I get the feeling that the level of sexual harrasement at law firms has gone down while the level of asshole behavior remains steady.

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One of my bosses at the museum I used to work at was a well-known harasser, but he was regarded as a complete anomaly or bizarre, interesting relic, since there are so few straight men in the field, and the culture was otherwise like a women's college.

He once made some crack to me about the short skirt I was wearing, and I must have given him a shaming, astonished look, because he said, "You think I'm a freak, don't you?"

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Always thought it was more about drugs... didn't Too Much Joy have an album called "Green Eggs and Crack"?

("Boat"/"goat" isn't really in there, is it?)

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Actually it's "Could you, would you, with a goat? Would you, could you, on a boat?" You have to think that he did that on purpose.

From the lyrics to the Dr.Suess musical.

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Drugs are just the icebreaker, Matt. Like wine in diet coke cans. Though what kid wants to drink diet coke, anyway?

Anyway, it was remembering "would you eat them with a fox, would you eat them in a box" that was jumping out to me, personally.

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PSA: LB's link set off my computer's virus-detection software.

Anyway, yoi.

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Whoops. Sorry about that.


How obvious is it that I desperately, desperately do not want to do my job? I really have to quit this.

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I find the recommendations for further action to be hilarious, particularly:

... Direct Wright to refrain from asking and/or requiring Firm attorneys, staff or others in the offices of the Firm to feel his muscles, guns, and/or pipes

The problem with this is that it contains a loophole through which Wright can still request that people feel his "pythons", "meat racks", or "bazookas".

If they ruled that out he'd probably just request that people feel his schlong, so I guess there's no winning strategy.

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I do, however, ask people to feel my pipes...I adopted it as sort of an icebreaker with new people.

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So Wright can still ask clients outside the office to feel his "pipes" but must refrain from asking Firm attorneys, staff or others in the offices of the Firm from feeling his "muscles", "guns", and/or "pipes", and must use a euphamisim such "pythons", "meat racks", or "bazookas".

Damn political correctness with its crazy rules. How is he going to keep that straight?

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More or less distinguishing the firm attorneys from the rest...

(I could only resist for so long...)

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Am I the first one who thought of the throat when hearing "feel my pipes?" I guess my music overpowers my weight training.

And doesn't everybody know about the Seuss/sex thing? I mean read the Cat in the Hat sometime. It is pretty obvious.

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I thought lungs, but for the same reason.

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doesn't everybody know about the Seuss/sex thing

It was pretty obvious after Horton Hires a Ho.

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In a very weird example of synchronicity Mrs Tripp is, nearly as we speak, directing a production of "Seussical," and just last night I was instructed to scour the web for a two minute sound effect of a tail growing.

Uh huh. Uh huh. This is at a Catholic Middle school. Yup. I know when to keep my mouth shut.

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I heard an outrageous sexual harassment story over the weekend.

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Oh?

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do tell

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It happened at a friend's company. The sales department was celebrating something, there was an open bar. Sales, I guess, has a fratboy element at this company, all the sales guys were drinking. And one of them, who'd clearly had a bit too much, came up to a woman co-worker, said, "I want a milkshake," and squeezed her breasts. He did this in front of about 20 people, including senior management.

The odd thing is, though, that she didn't make any complaint, formal or otherwise.

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There is now, however, a related sexual harassment case, because another woman told the guy he was totally out of line--she said this the next morning, at work. He said, completely sober this time, looking at her breasts, "You're looking very full today, yourself."

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Jesus.

she didn't make any complaint, formal or otherwise

She shouldn't have to, with all those people around eh? I've never seen anything like this, and imagine that if I did, the person would be fired with haste.

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And another thing: we've all been drunk, and done things we wouldn't have otherwise done, but do people really do things that are completely out of character? Not in my experience.

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I dunno, ogged—when I'm drunk I'm cheerful and accomodating, and fun to be around.

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Apparently they were going to let it slide, or pretend it didn't happen, perhaps because it seemed kind of surreal, like an alcohol-induced hallucination.

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Most people would probably rather pretend that it just didn't happen. But this can't be the first instance -- you don't go from 0 to 60 that fast. My guess is that an incident like this must be part of a larger problem.

The guys just standing there watching -- were they laughing? That almost seems worse, though I don't know why.

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Yeah, I think people were laughing, except for a couple horrified women. And no doubt some management person was thinking, "Oh shit."

The woman herself apparently hit the guy's hand away, and elbowed him. But giggled with embarrassment.

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Funny that giggling can mean so many different things. When made to cough while getting a physical, I sometimes giggle, though it's not because I'm trying to be demure.

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Ok, now that killed the thread.

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