One of the creepiest/funniest comments I ever overheard was from a friend's dad, who was talking about another friend's little sister: "Give that girl a half dollar and tell her to call me when she's 18." I feel the same way here - precisely how are you supposed to react when someone you remember as, like, six, turns out to be really pretty? I'm leaning towards, "like a dirty old man."
Eh -- I've had this happen to me. A little boy I babysat as a teenager was about thirteen, but still very much a little kid in appearance, when I went off to college.
The year after I graduated, I was home on a visit when a six-foot, muscular redhead with a husky baritone voice and a guitar slung over his shoulder accosted me on the street: "Lizard, is that you?" I had no idea either who he was or how I could possibly have forgotten meeting him, but smiled prettily, batted my eyelashes, and started mentally rearranging my schedule to free up time if he wanted to go out. And then he said who he was, and I felt like a child-molester. Desperately embarrassing.
I have a strange mental block about people who are clearly far younger than I am. It makes life difficult. There are several colleges in the area, y'see, and the men's track teams run all over the neighborhood wearing only shorts, running shoes and a layer of sweat.
I have this exact mental reaction:
*DAMN.*
Then I notice their fresh-faced boyish looks.
*Aww, look at the cute little boys. Their mothers must be so proud of them.*
Well, this is going to be even sicker because of the incest angle, but one of my cousins is, like, the hottest guy on the planet. He's 6'4" and gorgeous and a boxer and gaelic football player and so damned masculine that it comes off him in waves to the degree that it is sort of overwhelming when I sit next to him. And I remember when he was four, and I was fourteen, and I used to hold his hand when we crossed the street. And he's very fond of me, and always volunteers to pick me up at the airport and makes me lots of cups of tea and always sits next to me and once carried me over a little stream on my uncle's farm and ok I should really stop now...
I know I've mentioned before that cousins can be the most attractive to us. The explanation is that genetically they are similar, but not too similar. All I know is that I have some pretty damn hot cousins. Some of them seem to feel the same way.
Yeah, I had that experience with the gawky, awkward, bookish 12-year-old cousin with braces and coke-bottle glasses. Didn't see her again until she was 18 when the family all gathered down in Florida and she looked like she'd stepped off the cover of a magazine. Amazing what puberty can do to a person.
Da-amn! That's just wrong.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 04-17-05 9:47 PM
she's pretty hot.
Posted by alameida | Link to this comment | 04-18-05 1:38 AM
The variation in apparent facial features seems to suggest airbrushing.
Posted by Kitty Darfour | Link to this comment | 04-18-05 4:05 AM
Ogged, you should have expected this given Luda's
Nonetheless, it is shocking.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 04-18-05 6:05 AM
You're a bunch of dirty old men. Disgusting.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 04-18-05 9:17 AM
One of the creepiest/funniest comments I ever overheard was from a friend's dad, who was talking about another friend's little sister: "Give that girl a half dollar and tell her to call me when she's 18." I feel the same way here - precisely how are you supposed to react when someone you remember as, like, six, turns out to be really pretty? I'm leaning towards, "like a dirty old man."
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 04-18-05 11:12 AM
SCMT,
Yup. "Dirty Old Man. Lecher. Disgusting Sleaze."
Guys reach some kind of weird milestone when their friend's daughters grow up enough to be attractive.
Just remember that lusting after someone who used to be six (or whatever) is NOT the same as lusting after a six year old. It is not even close.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 04-18-05 12:00 PM
Er... I don't normally correct myself, but "react" should really be "feel"; I really don't think I should react like a dirty old man.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 04-18-05 12:10 PM
Eh -- I've had this happen to me. A little boy I babysat as a teenager was about thirteen, but still very much a little kid in appearance, when I went off to college.
The year after I graduated, I was home on a visit when a six-foot, muscular redhead with a husky baritone voice and a guitar slung over his shoulder accosted me on the street: "Lizard, is that you?" I had no idea either who he was or how I could possibly have forgotten meeting him, but smiled prettily, batted my eyelashes, and started mentally rearranging my schedule to free up time if he wanted to go out. And then he said who he was, and I felt like a child-molester. Desperately embarrassing.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04-18-05 12:31 PM
[redacted]
Posted by [redacted] | Link to this comment | 04-18-05 12:36 PM
You did, Labs, but if you like, you can tell us again.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 04-18-05 12:42 PM
Careful, LB, you're going to get a reputation as an eyelash batter.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 04-18-05 12:47 PM
Labs, here, to refresh your memory.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 04-18-05 12:48 PM
Labs, old pal,
You did give a brief mention, but I for one would welcome more details.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 04-18-05 1:22 PM
I have a strange mental block about people who are clearly far younger than I am. It makes life difficult. There are several colleges in the area, y'see, and the men's track teams run all over the neighborhood wearing only shorts, running shoes and a layer of sweat.
I have this exact mental reaction:
*DAMN.*
Then I notice their fresh-faced boyish looks.
*Aww, look at the cute little boys. Their mothers must be so proud of them.*
I am not cut out to be Mrs. Robinson.
Posted by winna | Link to this comment | 04-18-05 8:32 PM
Well, this is going to be even sicker because of the incest angle, but one of my cousins is, like, the hottest guy on the planet. He's 6'4" and gorgeous and a boxer and gaelic football player and so damned masculine that it comes off him in waves to the degree that it is sort of overwhelming when I sit next to him. And I remember when he was four, and I was fourteen, and I used to hold his hand when we crossed the street. And he's very fond of me, and always volunteers to pick me up at the airport and makes me lots of cups of tea and always sits next to me and once carried me over a little stream on my uncle's farm and ok I should really stop now...
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 04-18-05 8:47 PM
Cousins are legal and genetically safe! Go for it.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 04-18-05 8:49 PM
No, no. It's just reeallly intense fondness. That's all. Yep.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 04-18-05 8:56 PM
Just be sure you blog it.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 04-18-05 8:57 PM
I know I've mentioned before that cousins can be the most attractive to us. The explanation is that genetically they are similar, but not too similar. All I know is that I have some pretty damn hot cousins. Some of them seem to feel the same way.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 04-19-05 6:19 AM
Yeah, I had that experience with the gawky, awkward, bookish 12-year-old cousin with braces and coke-bottle glasses. Didn't see her again until she was 18 when the family all gathered down in Florida and she looked like she'd stepped off the cover of a magazine. Amazing what puberty can do to a person.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 04-19-05 6:49 AM