I couldn't make head or tail of this post. Even ignoring the gonzo punctuation, it employs an exotic, til-now-undiscovered verbal mood that makes my subjunctive quiver with displeasure.
Hey, I really did put an apostrophe in "hers" didn't I? Haha! Pretty funny! And you're right about "theretofore," but who the hells says "theretofore"?
Grammar trash-talking. Unbelievable. I don't know if I should feel bad that I'm not good enough to join in, or if I should feel good that there are people out there who are manifestly more pointlessly dorky then me.
Yeah, so psychics. I saw one in New Orleans, as is the pedestrian drunken college thing to do, and he told me that I was destined to become the chicken king of the south—pardon, the Chicken King of the South—and that I would destroy the Tyson's chicken empire.
I hate to say it, but with age those extra apostrophes just creep in, even when you know better. I almost put one in "apostrophes" just for effect. And I just went out and had a few margaritas so you are heretofore and theretofore required to ignore any typos I might make.
Years ago I opened a fortune cookie and found, to my surprise, an unusually specific prediction: "You and your wife will be happy in your life together."
I think that's the only fortune I've ever received that assumed so much about it's recipient.
Also, if you're still having trouble figuring out where to go after dinner, maybe you should have no destination at all. If it's still a bit light out, and Topsecretville Metropolis is a nice place for walking, you could just wander about with no other aim than to be aimless. If not, but the region is scenic, you could drive around with the same goal in mind - that is, if the driving to pick up PG hasn't made you not want to drive any more at all.
You should totally go to a psychic on your date, if not simply for pure entertainment then at least to provide something for you both to rag on afterwards. ("Really? I'm going to be a millionaire AND I used to be Hitler in my past life!") Or, maybe the psychic will say something uncanny and yet specific to your date, thereby creating an extraordinarily uncomfortable and awkward moment. And thus fodder for you both.
I think baa had a great line about the need for text to provide subtext for a date in the previous thread. It made explicit much of what I had been doing implicitly in dating. And had I understood it that simply, boy would dating have been easier.
I almost think a psychic is too self conscious an effort to provide text. Sometimes the tried and true - dinner and a movie - is the best way to go. By working within the established form, you can subvert it. My wife and I had our first date seeing Boogie Nights. More opportunity for subtext than you can shake a stick at. And a not so subtle mockery of the established form as far as my beloved was concerned. Second date zoo. Third date bowling.
Rest is bliss. As long as I minimize time in the shark tank.
I said it in an earlier thread - I'd provide a hot air balloon ride. Text, proximity, excitement. But then Profgrrrrrl is not dating me. So do what you want.
I am to provide subtext? I thought my job here was to kill threads.
Benton is right on about subverting the established forms. You have to pretend that whatever you are doing is not designed purely for the subtext, though you each know that is the purpose. The result: exquisite frisson. We have already let the cat out of the bag with the psychic.
Grocery shopping can actually be a lot of fun, what with the fruits and vegetables.
Like I care about any opinion of your's.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 05-25-05 4:38 PM
your'n
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 05-25-05 4:40 PM
Plus, maybe if you went to a psychic, your's would be reliable.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 05-25-05 4:43 PM
Idiot.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 05-25-05 4:45 PM
Every superhere needs a psychic.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 05-25-05 4:46 PM
SB, do you understand oggeds comments in the thread? Hi's writing is usually clearer.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 05-25-05 4:49 PM
I couldn't make head or tail of this post. Even ignoring the gonzo punctuation, it employs an exotic, til-now-undiscovered verbal mood that makes my subjunctive quiver with displeasure.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 05-25-05 4:55 PM
I think you want "theretofore" for "heretofore", O-face.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 05-25-05 4:57 PM
Hey, I really did put an apostrophe in "hers" didn't I? Haha! Pretty funny! And you're right about "theretofore," but who the hells says "theretofore"?
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 05-25-05 4:59 PM
Ogged went, theretofore Nick ate.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 05-25-05 5:01 PM
Hey, I really did put an apostrophe in "hers" didn't I? Haha! Pretty funny!
You don't understand—we're laughing at you.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 05-25-05 5:03 PM
Ogged, not many people say heretofore anymore. I think even literary types get away with the common, or garden, "'til now"
But hey I'll wind my neck in. Not my splat.
Posted by Austro | Link to this comment | 05-25-05 5:04 PM
Grammar trash-talking. Unbelievable. I don't know if I should feel bad that I'm not good enough to join in, or if I should feel good that there are people out there who are manifestly more pointlessly dorky then me.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 05-25-05 5:05 PM
What makes you think, young Ben, that I can't join you in laughing at me?
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 05-25-05 5:06 PM
Feel good, Timmy, at least you're not dating a shrew.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 05-25-05 5:07 PM
Tim,
More dorky than I.
Posted by tweedledopey | Link to this comment | 05-25-05 5:10 PM
TD:
Nice. I wish I could claim it was part of the joke.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 05-25-05 5:14 PM
If I were to have been studying ogged's loopy grammar, I would be about to having had a tremendous headache.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 05-25-05 5:14 PM
I haven't been studying his grammar, theretofore I've been headache free. Hereafter, however, methinks a headache is in the working.
Tim,
Just please don't hyper-correct for me/I.
Posted by tweedledopey | Link to this comment | 05-25-05 5:16 PM
Don't hypo-correct for it either. We demand that you make just enough errors, but no more.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 05-25-05 5:19 PM
Yeah, so psychics. I saw one in New Orleans, as is the pedestrian drunken college thing to do, and he told me that I was destined to become the chicken king of the south—pardon, the Chicken King of the South—and that I would destroy the Tyson's chicken empire.
Posted by Kriston | Link to this comment | 05-25-05 6:38 PM
I hate to say it, but with age those extra apostrophes just creep in, even when you know better. I almost put one in "apostrophes" just for effect. And I just went out and had a few margaritas so you are heretofore and theretofore required to ignore any typos I might make.
And yes, sure, let's go to a psychic.
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 05-25-05 6:39 PM
So shouldn't you at least leave DC for a more southern clime? You've got to make your destiny happen.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 05-25-05 6:43 PM
I really saying that I don't want to go to a psychic because Moira found her's hers to be unreliable? That would be, like, incredibly stupid, right?
Not if you use rational induction.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 05-25-05 6:44 PM
Years ago I opened a fortune cookie and found, to my surprise, an unusually specific prediction: "You and your wife will be happy in your life together."
I think that's the only fortune I've ever received that assumed so much about it's recipient.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 05-25-05 7:34 PM
its
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 05-25-05 7:50 PM
Also, if you're still having trouble figuring out where to go after dinner, maybe you should have no destination at all. If it's still a bit light out, and Topsecretville Metropolis is a nice place for walking, you could just wander about with no other aim than to be aimless. If not, but the region is scenic, you could drive around with the same goal in mind - that is, if the driving to pick up PG hasn't made you not want to drive any more at all.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 05-25-05 7:52 PM
Ah geez, eb, always with the good sense.
Why not rassling alligators? That's a good first date!
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 05-25-05 7:56 PM
You should totally go to a psychic on your date, if not simply for pure entertainment then at least to provide something for you both to rag on afterwards. ("Really? I'm going to be a millionaire AND I used to be Hitler in my past life!") Or, maybe the psychic will say something uncanny and yet specific to your date, thereby creating an extraordinarily uncomfortable and awkward moment. And thus fodder for you both.
And for us all.
Really, it's a no-lose sitch.
Posted by moira | Link to this comment | 05-25-05 11:56 PM
wolfson, I'm going to see how I can play out this dark-emperor-hiding-in-the-capital line for a little while longer before I make my move.
Posted by Kriston | Link to this comment | 05-26-05 6:29 AM
I think baa had a great line about the need for text to provide subtext for a date in the previous thread. It made explicit much of what I had been doing implicitly in dating. And had I understood it that simply, boy would dating have been easier.
I almost think a psychic is too self conscious an effort to provide text. Sometimes the tried and true - dinner and a movie - is the best way to go. By working within the established form, you can subvert it. My wife and I had our first date seeing Boogie Nights. More opportunity for subtext than you can shake a stick at. And a not so subtle mockery of the established form as far as my beloved was concerned. Second date zoo. Third date bowling.
Rest is bliss. As long as I minimize time in the shark tank.
Posted by benton | Link to this comment | 05-26-05 7:40 AM
I said it in an earlier thread - I'd provide a hot air balloon ride. Text, proximity, excitement. But then Profgrrrrrl is not dating me. So do what you want.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 05-26-05 7:54 AM
I am to provide subtext? I thought my job here was to kill threads.
Benton is right on about subverting the established forms. You have to pretend that whatever you are doing is not designed purely for the subtext, though you each know that is the purpose. The result: exquisite frisson. We have already let the cat out of the bag with the psychic.
Grocery shopping can actually be a lot of fun, what with the fruits and vegetables.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 05-26-05 9:46 AM
I thought my job here was to kill threads.
Win threads.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 05-26-05 10:21 AM
text,
I am to provide subtext?
Well duh. Don't you have any kids yet? Better get cracking.
(Tripp wanted kids, but not Tripplets.)
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 05-26-05 11:54 AM
"I thought my job here was to kill threads."
Apparently there is redundancy in the system.
Posted by Gary Farber | Link to this comment | 05-26-05 3:11 PM