Re: My emotional life: in the toilet

1

The "proletarian" details of the story? What's so working-class about flushing the Koran?

(I'm figuring either she meant 'pedestrian', or possibly there's some usage pf proletarian I'm unfamilliar with that works in this context.)

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2

I thought she conflated "pedestrian" and "quotidian." (The sounds thereof, anyway. Roughly.)

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3

Seems to me that an ad-hoc prison camp might be the sort of place where there are chemical toilets lying around, too.

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4

I'll conflate her pedes!

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5

Why can't you just have a Non-Creepy Blog Crush(TM) on LB, like everyone else? Why do you always have to be different?

On another topic, a large meal of Chinese food is not conducive to a productive afternoon.

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6

Yeah, really. In fact, a blogcrush on LB might be mandatory around here. Slightly awkward relationship with ac optional.

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7

My blog-heart remains true to PG, although I confess an utter fascination with DE, not elevated to full "blog-crush" status because I'm sure she'd hurt me.

Oh hell, I've got it bad for LB and AC too. And Ben has a purty little blog-mouth. Me and my wanton ways...

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8

you're a man of many appetites, Chops.

I have a blog crush on just about everyone too, depending on the day, and I imagine which of the people in my real life wield secret unfogged handles, unbeknownst to myself.

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9

You fools. You must detach yourself from all you fear to lose.

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10

so true, sagacious -- now I crush on you, FL.

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11

FL is incorrect. Rather, you must lash out with every limb, like the octopus who plays the drums.

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12

And Ben has a purty little blog-mouth.

Banjos and canoes and white waters racin'

Inbreedin' locals who're weirdly men-acin'

Shotguhns and bugg'ry and accents with twangs -

These are a few of mah favorite thangs.

Huntin' down strangers with lily white asses

Catchin' em nappin' in sheer mountain passes

Makin' one squeal like a piggy - hot dang!

That is exactly mah favorit thang!

When the dog barks,

When the bee stangs

When I'm feelin' mad

I simply remember your purty lil' mouth

And then I don't feel sooo baaaad ....

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13

Let's get dinner from Wolfson's. They deliverances.

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14

I confess an utter fascination with DE, not elevated to full "blog-crush" status because I'm sure she'd hurt me.

Chopper. my pet - remember, you only love the one you hurt...

DE, who is sojourning in the suburbs of Atlanta, in the ultra-red-state part, where Bush is regarded as a dangerous liberal, and I've already been yelled at for using the word "orgasm" to describe my chocolate chocolate chip cookies, because if anyone ever found out that I'd said a dirty word in a house containing a 15-year-old virgin, DCF would take the kids away and oh, god, I want to go home, back to where cock jokes are acceptable dinner-time entertainment and Thursday is trannie night at the local eatery and there is an even chance I'd get laid or that Chopper would overcome his fear and blog-crush me and one can yell "ORGASM!" in one's own living room without the Thought Police dropping by.

Oh, ghod, I'd even fly coach to get out of here...

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15

And where the only internet access is a passworded dial-up AOL account...

PS: That should have been a comma after "Chopper", not a full stop.

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16

Ah, DE, thou art human after all.

And in Georgia? Jesus wept.

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17

And in Georgia? Jesus wept.

Wept?? He'd have full-on cardiac arrest.

I've been accused of being human before, but I always let those nasty slurs roll off me like water off a fuck.

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18

One of the nice things about this place:

It seems almost rude not to have a Blog-Crush on most of the regulars. Interpret that how you like.

For once in my puff I'm being sincere, almost.

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19

I thought the difference between a flush toilet and a bucket was insignificant, myself, although I'm a bit doubtful that Gitmo gives all prisoners the first; certainly they didn't in the early days. But I assumed it was a detail no one would care about; obviously, I was wrong.

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20

Hey, I have a blog-crush on ac as well as a slightly awkward relationship. Stop trying to make her feel bad.

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21

Make that "Stop trying to make her feel like Jan Brady."

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22

I had a blog-crush on her first.

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23

6 is because LB is utterly unattainable, and perfectly happy where she is. It gives her a certain serenity.

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24

Aside from her charm and freckles and feistiness, of course.

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25

Happy lovelife anyway.

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26

You know, I've often thought, "If only Ogged was a woman...."

But he'd make a really weird woman, so I always stop short at the elipses.

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27

Meant to ask - is 22 in response to 20?

And Ogged, I was thinking when I read 6 that "slightly awkward" doesn't cover it. I think we've moved into sadomasochistic territory.

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28

So we are dating?

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29

Apparently.

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30

Ogged is Gussie Fink-Nottle!

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31

ac, I think I have to call this dating thing off.

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32

And the commenters? Newts to a man!

Do you know how a male newt proposes, Bertie? He just stands in front of the female newt vibrating his tail and bending his body in a semi-circle. I could do that on my head. No, you wouldn't find me grousing if I were a male newt.

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33

Hmph. Profgrrrl seems to be Emerald Stoker. If we can figure out who Spode is, Ogged is in for a good shaking.

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34

Now you're breaking up with me?

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35

DominEditrix? Clearly Aunt Dahlia. Except cleverer.

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36

Wait a second -- *Emerald* Stoker? Surely you mean Pauline.

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37

If Matt is Bertie, does that mean I'm Honoria Glossop?

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38

You've been accused of being the Basset? Quick -- what happens every time a fairy blows its wee nose?

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39

Oh shit, did I just spoil Stiff Upper Lip, Jeeves?

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40

No, no, I've read them all -- I just wouldn't think that you'd compare Emerald to profgrrrl, considering that Emerald's Homeric epithet is 'Pekingese-faced'. You had probably forgotten that bit, and were remembering the mad cooking skillz.

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41

I meant that ogged was leaving ac for PG, in a most un-preux manner.

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42

Ah -- you're actually matching the plots, rather than just seizing on appropriate characters. Gotcha. Sadly, we remain Jeevesless.

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43

Wolfson is kind of Jeevesy. Doesn't he fix all the code?

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44

And the maddening correctness works as well. Didn't you just meet him? Did he object to/prevent you from wearing any particularly outre article of clothing? If so, we have our man.

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45

Ok, I get it now. Had to go looking for the plot in question. I'm Madeline Bassett. And a baby is born when a fairy blows its wee nose.

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46

Requires a bit of character-shifting, but scroll down to pleated pants. OTOH, his organizational powers there were less than Jeevesian. (And Ben: Why no links to your archives?)

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47

Personality- (or maybe just height-) wise, PG strikes me as more like Stiffy Byng. Or maybe Bobbie Wickham.

The first phrase there is a real punctuation train wreck, isn't it? DE is going to give me hell. "You blasted Weiner, another time act for the worst. Then we may escape with a mere flesh wound."

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48

The pleated pants locks it up -- we have our Jeeves. (And Bobbie Wickham rather than Stiffy Bing, I think, unless we hear of Trevor biting a policeman).

I should track down copies of all of those and reread them; I don't think I've read the J&B novels in a decade.

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49

PG is clearly Bobbie Wickham. How can that even be a question? But ogged is, by nature, substantially closer to Bertie than to Spink-Bottle.

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50

Oh, and I think Wolfson is more Sebastian (?) Moon than Jeeves.

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51

Personality-wise, ogged works best as someone in the Bingo Little/Tuppy Glossop category, but there's no way to fit that into the plots. He hasn't really got much Bertie or Spink-Bottle in him at all.

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52

Except at The Mineshaft.

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53

Back to the main point of the post -- does Jane Galt really think that maintaining functioning toilets for prisoners whom they are regularly torturing is a major priority for the interrogators at Gitmo? I imagine that, if the story is true (which, let's face it, it probably is, even though Newsweek recanted on a technicality), some sick fuck on the interrogation squad specifically thought that it would be great if the guys actually had to shit in an overflowing toilet, clogged with pages from the Koran. I mean, you can only hold it so long, right? (nudge, nudge)

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54

Wow. I mean I like when profgrrl does the exhibitionistic/dance of the pseudonymous veils thing as much as any red blooded male blog commenter. And Liz and DE are smart and as attractive as can be even if I've never seen pictures of their underwear.

I have a friend who tells a story about anthropological research into male femal behavior. A woman appoaches persons on the street and asks for directions. Afterword those persons are interviewed about the event. Men tended to believe the woman asked them directions because she was interested in them. Women believed the woman wanted know how to get from point a to b.

Sometimes a blog comment is just a comment. Although I am thankful for all of you, male and female alike and for the camaraderie of this place.

My work is intellectually fulfilling but isolating. And the intellectual circle in the Washington policy world that I work in is not only ideologically polarized, by roiling in smugosity as well. (Man, Ogged, I really am starting to think that Mickey Kaus rocks).

And Labs. Jesus. Get a grip. She writes a column for Tech Central Station. I can see having wierd fantasies, perhgaps involving spanking, but a crush? As in blushing at the thought of holding hands (not at the mineshaft) etc....

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55

Requires a bit of character-shifting, but scroll down to pleated pants. OTOH, his organizational powers there were less than Jeevesian. (And Ben: Why no links to your archives?)

There is now such a link.

I can demonstrate organizational powers beyond which there is nothing, when called upon; I don't see why I, rather than the equally Chicagoan Kotsko, get the blame, here. Must be my natural leadership qualities coming to the fore. Upper management, here I come!

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56

An Ogged/Tuppy Glossop composite figured in my dream.

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57

Back to the main point of the post -- does Jane Galt really think that maintaining functioning toilets for prisoners whom they are regularly torturing is a major priority for the interrogators at Gitmo?

That was kind of stunning, wasn't it -- that she argued, presumably with a straight face, that the Koran-in-the-toilet incident coldn't possibly have happened because it would have been bad for the plumbing. Everyone has off days, of course, but that was particularly bad.

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58

Jane Galt is Florence Craye.

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59

Can one be kicked off one's own blog for not fitting in? I've never read a word of Wodehouse. (Not true in a sense, as ex-before-last was a big fan, and would occasionally read passages to me out loud. In my defense, she said that it was probably not quite my thing, so I never bothered.)

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60

"Tuppy, when not making an ass of himself, is a soundish sort of egg."

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61

Eh, if you had a fan reading passages to you and you weren't impelled to read the books, they probably won't do much for you -- if they're your kind of thing, they are funnier than anything else I've ever read, but if not, they'll leave you cold. (I, myself, have always identified with Psmith.)

And I don't think we can kick you off the blog, at least not without the assistance of your co-bloggers. The last coup attempt failed miserably.

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62

That's mighty reasonable of you, all around. If this were the Weblog, I would now confess: when I set up all the other authors on the blog, I didn't give any of them add/remove author privileges.

I mention the Weblog mainly by way of saying, this is all we get from the meeting of Weiner, Kotsko, BPhd and Wolfson? I want dish!

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63

56 perhaps indicates that we'd better stop before someone gets badly hurt, but I will press on regardless.

Here and here is the proof that I'm Bertie.

And I was thinking this over--PG is Corky Pirbright. Because, though I don't want to hurt Ogged's feelings too much, but she's probably playing up to him to get him to spring Trevor from the clutches of that policeman he bit.

Which means, I think, that I have to get Wolfson to help me break into the site so I can delete 31 before ac sees it.

That frees LB up to be Pauline Stoker, with Dr. Oops as Emerald. (Though Emerald is the one with the freckles.)

58--brilliant. Anyone seen the Galt in profile? It would be unfair to nominate baa as Spode on politics alone, but I'm going to do it anyway--and he does have that masterful quality.

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64

More on Tuppy in the first few paragraphs here. I like the bit about the wet sponge and the eel.

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65

62: When we found out about this B and I threatened to beat Kotsko up and steal his cv.

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66

Wow, ac. Whoever put that site up can't spell ("P.J. Wodehouse," "Drownes Club"--actually that's what happened after Tuppy looped the last ring back), but I may never leave the office again.

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67

P.J.--yikes!

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68

And I was thinking this over--PG is Corky Pirbright. Because, though I don't want to hurt Ogged's feelings too much, but she's probably playing up to him to get him to spring Trevor from the clutches of that policeman he bit.

Wasn't that Stiffy Byng, with the policeman-biting Scottie? I don't vividly recall Corky, but I was sure that Stiffy was the one with the terrier and the rugger-playing curate fiance.

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69

You're right about Stiffy--but Corky has a policeman- (and butler-; damn, I did it again, and even worse given this interjection, no more of Anatole's cooking for me) biting mutt named Sam Goldwyn, in The Mating Season. Which is absolutely side-splitting, up there with Joy/Jeeves in the Morning. I won't go into any more detail, so as not to spoil the rereading. (Though you can probably decode a lot of it from 63.)

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70

She'd be a connection of Catsmeat Potter-Pirbright's? Perhaps the single best name in Wodehouse. And don't worry about spoiling plots, the plots are never all that important.

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71

His sister. You really don't want me to reveal who gets disguised as whom here, though.

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72

If it were the case that someone really wanted to locate ogged in the Wodehouse pantheon, it might be that the persona of Rockmetteller (Rocky) Todd least badly fits the bill -albeit, with a little updating technology-wise. That is, not so much with the worm-watching, and not so much "sluggard" as, perhaps, "contemplative," but only if one were to want to.

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73

Ah, that's brilliant. Too bad he'll never know what we're saying about him. (And congrats--you really know the canon--I had to Google the name.)

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74

And yet he never posts any of his poetry on the blog. I'll be picturing him suffering in a too-tight evening waistcoat slit up the back from here on out.

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75

I will continue to see him as Tuppy, myself.

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76

Well, I don't know about thin on the top, but he's definitely not fat in the middle.

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77

"Sturdy build"--perhaps not. But I say he's a man to loop the last ring back, if ever there was one.

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78

If the Galt is Craye (and that's brilliant, for any number of reasons), I think that has to make Abu Labs Bertie. Baa can't be Spode, if only because it's impossible to imagine him designing women's undergarments (I mean, how would a Republican know anything about women's undergarments). I think baa is whoever made book in "The Great Sermon Handicap"; opposite side, took a few tricks off Jeeves, garnered a certain respect for his abilities, but ultimately had his comeuppance.

I, myself, have always identified with Psmith.

On the basis of that alone, I revoke my prior revocation, and offer you a strong man's honest non-creepy blog crush. (On the basis of the canon, I think you now betray me to whomever is Tuppy.)

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79

Steggles? Never! Steggles is far too much of a worm for baa to be him. Steggles has to be one of Abu's departmental enemies. But maybe Abu is G. D'Arcy "Stilton" Cheesewright.


(Also, to be completely nitpicky, Steggles wins the final skirmish--he thoroughly nobbles Bingo Little in "The Metropolitan Touch." Ending: "I'll show them; I'll slip out the back window. They can't scare me!")

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80

BTW, where was the prior revocation?

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81

I don't remember Steggles as a worm. I remember Spode as a bully, which doesn't suit baa. I've misplaced my omnibus, so I can't check.

I don't remember where the prior revocation was; LB said something outrageous, along the lines of asserting that there were such things as "reasonable Republicans."

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82

But a bully with right-wing politics (remember the "Black Shorts"? "'Footer bags, you mean? How perfectly foul."), and who was exactly the sort of person you wouldn't expect to design ladies' underwear. The real problem with this game is that they're all idiots -- identifying any real person with a Wodehouse character only works if you stipulate: "Not nearly that dimwitted and silly."

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83

(And the blogcrush was revoked over Coupling.)

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84

That's right, it was. I have to say, I caught a bit another episode of Coupling (when I can't sleep, it's on), and it sucked too. But loving Wodehouse makes up for a lot.

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85

If Steggles isn't described on his introduction as "a bit of a worm," I will eat a large piece of apple pie, with ice cream and caramel. I believe he is later described as "one of England's leading hounds." Doesn't he put a beetle down Harold's back before the Choirboy's foot race? (I'm not sure of his name.)

OK, I believe I have reduced this ad absurdum.

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86

Question to the Haus.

Did you ever get the Stephen Fry/ Hugh Laurie version Television Series of the Jeeves stories?

Both Steggles and Bingo Little were worth staying in for, and Honoria Glossop was enough to make strong men tremble before their TV sets.

Which is absolutely side-splitting, up there with Joy/Jeeves in the Morning

IIRC - "Joy in the Morning" was written largely during that interlude in captivity etc. Poignant that.

I 've always hankered after being Lord Emsworth, myself. It would be worth putting up with Frederick and Lady Constance for that life. In my nightmares, though, I m the efficient Baxter. Brrr.

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87

Ye gods! I go to Atlanta for the weekend and come back to a Wodehouse fest.

I think of myself as a cross between Stiffy Bing and Aunt Dahlia. I'm a tad young for the latter and have never ridden with the Quorn or the Pytchley, but neither would I marry a curate. OTOH, luring minions into unspeakably complicated and possibly illegal schemes strikes me as a marvelous hobby...

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