Re: Sit & Sweat

1

It lets northeners pretend like they're in Louisiana.

horizontal rule
2

that is not altogether related to the hot, gay sex, mind you.

horizontal rule
3

They provides a method for cheapskates to clean their carpets?

horizontal rule
4

Saunas actually serve cultural functions in some societies. I don't know if it actually correlates with latitude, but it seems like the heavy sauna users are from Northern countries like Sweden and Finland. (And if you include "bathhouse", Russia.)

My guess is that the sauna is also popular for cleaning in societies/cultures that have taboos against bathing/immersion in water (such as among nomadic peoples in northern Eurasia).

I don't have an explanation of the sauna or steamroom in the U.S., though. I've never particularly liked saunas and have never been in a steamroom.

horizontal rule
5

Really? You don't find them relaxing after a workout? Plus, good for the complexion.

(This may be the most unironic comment I have ever made, btw, because I earnestly like a nice steam.)

horizontal rule
6

How clean can you (you nomadic eurasians) get from a steam bath? I imagine you'd be left with a salty crust from your evaporated perspiration, if you didn't rinse afterwards.

horizontal rule
7

I wouldn't know, as I'm not a nomadic eurasian.

Google searching reveals I'm probably completely wrong about combining the sauna with a taboo against bathing (I can't find my reference) and it looks like everyone who uses the sauna follows the steam bath by showering, jumping into water, or even jumping into the snow.

Finnish sauna explained here.

horizontal rule
8

That was me.

horizontal rule
9

The heat relaxes muscles & opens pores. It's a clean, soothing sweat. Additionally, I prefer herbal saunas, particularly mugwort, which infuse the breath & body.

"In an electric sauna, the ions are evenly divided between positive and negative; in a smoke sauna, where the stove is largely made of stone with little or no metal, the ions produced are mostly negative ions, creating the same sort of 'charge' to the air that one feels during thunderstorms."

horizontal rule
10

I had a particularly memorable sauna at a wildlife preserve in Tatarstan. The park's caretaker had built it himself, and it was fueled with firewood. The traditional thing to do was beat each other with willow branches. And we jumped in the Volga afterwards.

They are huge in Finland. A friend of mine who got a masters there said he went to a reception that had a glass sauna in the middle of a banquet hall where coed groups got naked and baked while the rest of the party milled around outside with drinks. At least that doesn't sound like it belongs at the mineshaft.

I think I prefer a good sauna to a hot tub. In a hot tub, I just can't stop thinking about how dirty they seem and all the little microbes that are probably breeding in there. Plus the chemicals make my skin itchy afterwards.

horizontal rule
11

you must rinse, yes.

It opens the pores. Also, opens the soul to cosmos.

horizontal rule
12

I've always enjoyed a dry sauna after a workout--it keeps the potentailly strained muscled warmer longer as they relax.

Plus a cold shower afterwards can be bracing.

horizontal rule
13

Back in grad school I had colleagues who wanted to pose this question to a certain member of the faculty who more than once showed up for his sauna without realizing that the other people there were in fact looking for hot gay sex rather than sweaty discussions of neo realism.

I do suspect that you are supposed to rinse after the gay sex as well.

horizontal rule
14

Bracing enough to elicit shocked delight?

horizontal rule
15

only if one performs the proper manuever.

horizontal rule
16

Man, I actually tried to link to that comment. That's what I get for not previewing.

horizontal rule
17

There is more than one maneuver. If you didn't care for the original, patented Shocked Delight Stimulus, you could, if your name were (say) Velma, opt for a Scooby Snack instead.

(Who knew there was Scooby Doo fanfic?)

horizontal rule
18

Yeah, I'm so not following those links while I'm at work.

horizontal rule
19

Yeah, whatever. Where's the Yogi/Boo-Boo fanfic?

horizontal rule
20

Fanfic or slash?

horizontal rule
21

The links are beyond tame. Here's a taste:

The information was then up-linked by satellite and feed to the Gerbil Graphics research department.
That's the raciest bit – and then only because I cherry-picked it for the out-of-context "gerbil" reference.

horizontal rule
22

Ah, all right. You're right, they were tame. I have, unfortunately, seen Sccoby Doo slash. It's a train wreck that I found I couldn't look away from. Also Smurfs. Yeesh.

horizontal rule
23

The Yogi/Boo-Boo fanfic is here:

"Why do you want to eat me Yogi?" called out a voice. Yogi looked at his gummy bear and made a shocking cartoon face. His candy took the form of his best friend, Boo Boo.
I think the Internet is full.

horizontal rule
24

Dude, I bet if you go looking, you'd find Snorks fanfic. Saved by the Bell fanfic. The War in Iraq's Purpose Was to Free the Iraqi People fanfic...

horizontal rule
25

SB, you're awesome. The only thing I have to say about the Scooby Doo stuff is that it's not very well written, is it?

horizontal rule
26

other than [...] the facilitation of hot gay sex

What, that isn't enough for you?

horizontal rule
27

It's enough for me...

horizontal rule
28

No, none of this cartoon fanfic is well-written. The authors have a tendency to tell us that, suddenly, character X exhibited X's signature property or cliche, and said to no one in particular, "Gee, I'm relieved to have exhibited my signature property or cliche!" This, mixed with long descriptions of the scenery, with an emphasis that it is cartoon-style scenery.

horizontal rule
29

Secretly I was hoping for yogi/boo-boo slash.

horizontal rule
30

As to the unbearable vastness of fanfic, I'm not really surprised. For every proclivity there's a proclivitor, and vice versa. But sometimes a given case will renew my sense of wonder.

horizontal rule
31

You probably don't want to read this:

"As boo-boo relaxed, crouched forward and huffing in shocked delight under the cold shower in the Ranger's locker room, Yogi snuck up behind him. Yogi thought to himself, "I'm haaarder than the average bear!"

horizontal rule
32

Good lord, I'm sorry for that.

horizontal rule
33

You cannot take it back now, August Proclivitor.

horizontal rule
34

Mr Ranger just might like this.

horizontal rule
35

"Ben, the friendliest of the Rangers. Got out of his Jeep. "A good shower is what I need after a long day rebulding that campsite!" he said to himself...

horizontal rule
36

Rangers, got out...

horizontal rule
37

No no, the bad punctuation lends it versimilitude.

horizontal rule
38

Fair enough.

horizontal rule
39

But sometimes a given case will renew my sense of wonder.

This page is what last truly impressed me with the vastness and weirdness of the human psyche: Roy Orbison in clingfilm.

horizontal rule
40

There's a joke waiting to be made using "took my picnic basket" as a euphemism, but I'm sort of burned out right now.

horizontal rule
41

LB, that is the best kind of surreal.

horizontal rule
42

It puts the lotion in the picnic basket.

horizontal rule
43

"Clingfilm" is Saran Wrap (or something like it, but of a different brand), right?

horizontal rule
44

Disturbing, isn't it. I'd love to know if it was serious or a send-up.

horizontal rule
45

And, yes -- it's the British English generic term for Saran Wrap.

horizontal rule
46

I didn't actually click on any of the links on the page. I vaguely knew that saran wrap was a tactile thing that some people liked. And of course we all agree that Roy Orbison is totally hot, so I guess its the most natural thing in the world, but somehow that creeped me out.

Only the lonely.

horizontal rule
47

As I set to work I seem to hear the strains of Strauss's Blue Danube Waltz in my head. As I orbit him weightless it as if we are performing some graceful ballet together. The clingfilm unfurls in languid arcs in the zero gravity and then girdles him gently as I spiral around him. Soon, Captain Roy Orbison of the Space Pioneers is completely wrapped in clingfilm. In all the infinite galaxies there is not a man as happy as I. Tears of wordless joy leak from my ducts.

This is a man with a gift.

horizontal rule
48

A gift for creeping me out.

horizontal rule