Re: There Was No Weiner, So We Had Mexican

1

This may have been the most elaborate set-up ever undertaken in order to make a Weiner joke.

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2

You mean inventing the Matt Weiner persona, setting up a blog under his name, commenting at other blogs under his name, and getting this persona a job at Texas Tech were all just the set up for this one blog post?

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3

You'd think he'd have a better joke planned out.

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4

Ben is slightly more personable in real life.

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5

Hey, the light's green.

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w/d: yes, but you left out the setting up a dinner and not arriving. Without that, the joke would not be worthwhile.

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7

That's weird -- when people ask me what Ben is like in real life, I say he's exactly like in comments.

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8

I don't think he's ever corrected my grammar in real life, so I can't say that.

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9

The commenter Ben Wolfson only corrects written grammar, so the "real" Ben Wolfson is identical in that respect, at least in my experience.

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10

In that case, the commenter Ben Wolfson is completely silent, and is nothing like the "real" Ben Wolfson.

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11

I've been known to correct speech as well.

I'm curious to know what I'm like in comments, because I can't imagine that I project some kind of consistent image. But then, I'm a shockingly poor judge of character.

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12

you're short.

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13

Michael's been cracking me up lately, which disturbs me.

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14

what I'm like in comments

Adorable.

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15

13 leads me to believe that I am in comments as I am in life.

14 is just so, so true.

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16

That's weird -- when people ask me what Ben is like in real life, I say he's exactly like in comments.

This is something I just refuse to believe. Mostly on account of the fact that I ve seen his comments elsewhere....

I just bet ben played Cathulu in younger days.

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17

I'm being maligned! Sordid details here.

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18

And then the dog ate my homework, and my car overheated, and then my girlfriend called, (she lives in Canada, you wouldn't know her), and my grandmother passed away and I had to go to the funeral...

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19

Was vaguely worried that Matt was lying in a ditch somewhere. Though no one else seemed particularly concerned.

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20

Aw, that's sweet.

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21

Also: Kotsko chose the pub.

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22

I was vaguely concerned about Weiner, specifically concerned about Wolfson.

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23

I worried about the dead-Weiner scenario, but one of the benefits of being a neurotic worrier is that you can dismiss concerns like that when you have them.

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24

Register me as a "dead-Weiner" worrier, also; Weiner's on-line persona doesn't suggest a IRL persona that stands people up. But, as others say, to admit that is to admit that you often assume the bleakest possible story to describe a given set of facts. Also, in an attempt to reassert my masculinity, I paraphrase Shell Silverstein: what's one less Weiner, more or less.

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25

Quoting a children's poet and asserting that the loss of one Weiner is largely immaterial isreasserting your masculinity? Talk about a different perspective!

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26

That would have been funnier if I'd typed "one's" as I meant to.

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27

I'd be curious to know, in the caterpillar burning tradition, what y'all consider to be the most manly thing you've ever done, and the least.

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28

Well, if my online persona doesn't suggest an IRL person who often screws things up and has an almost limitless capacity for getting lost, it gives an inaccurate impression. The problem was the inability to recover from the initial screwup.

I confess ((c) Kotsko) that I did worry that Ben or Kotsko had had some sort of dreadful crisis and that this was why they weren't able to do it. I confess further that the main reason this worried me is that I'd then feel like shit for having thought so many nasty things about them. But I guess I figured "forgot my phone number and left before I got there" was the most likely scenario.

(ac: No way.)

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29

What about the most gentlemanly thing you've done?

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30

now there is a nasty trap eb, i fear.

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31

I once held a door.

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32

Open or closed?

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33

against whom?

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34

No wonder I got all those nasty looks!

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35

I slew an offending bug.

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36

was that the most gentlemanly thing or are we back to caterpillars?

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37

I once removed a hairy caterpillar from a fellow's shirt. At first I picked it up, and it squirmed back onto the shirt. Then I flicked it a good flick. It ricoched off a nearby wall and landed back onto the shirt. It was a stubborn caterpillar.

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38

the most gentlemanly thing you've done?

Once, in the midst of coitous, I looked at her. At her, you understand, not my idea of her. Then, I asked her if she was enjoying it. (I forgot to listen to her reply.)

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39

the most manly thing you've ever done

I suppose that would be fathering and raising two sons, but the time I felt the manliest was when I locked myself out of my house and broke down a solid wood door with my shoulder. I know it isn't that manly in the grand scheme of things, but oh was it a satisfying feeling.

and the least

Making my wife drive in Rome because the thought of driving in that city myself starkly terrified me.

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40

if we are being totally honest, it has just occurred to me that in my case the answer to both is one and the same. Which is weird, but depends on perspective.

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41

if we are being totally honest

ok. 38 was fiction.

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42

like who knew?

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43

British people also use "like" incorrectly? Damnit.

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44

:) mmhmmm :)

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45

I punched through a thick wooden door to a dorm room in college. I was a stronger lad then. And my friend had locked me out, probably for being too drunk. Still, it should have broken my hand.

I wrote a love poem and put it in a secret place, to be found.

Up to you as to which is manly, which is chivalrous.

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46

I shall admit that, after having punched through the door, I was pinned to the ground by said friend and told not to punch through his door anymore, and I obeyed. I was rather shocked that my fist had gone through. So the rest of the story isn't very manly.

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47

I am not going to tell the "most" ..that is way too personal. But I can do second most.

Second most manly: Protecting a person of foreign parentage from a thug in the street and having to use force to do it.

Second most unmanly: Shortly after starting to work, making a BIG mistake and then not owning up.

Most chivalrous: Escorting a Pregnant lady accross most of Romania so that she could be with her boyfriend. Long story.

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48

Doorbreaking seems popular. No fights?

Re 39: A guy once asked me to take over driving on the autobahn. I love going a hundred miles an hour. Should have been a race car driver.

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49

Ah, I guess 47 counts as a fight, or near enough.

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50

Most fights are not very manly. Ideally it would be something both selfless and physical. Or some sort of feat.

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51

God, ac, I'd hate to think of it is a fight but OTOH force was definitely used. And yes I did just class that as manly. So that makes me the neanderthal.

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52

No fights?

I'm a lover, not a fighter.

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53

Here's one: in college one night I wheeled a giant oil-drum barbeque from one end of campus all the way to the other, so that my friends and I could barbeque the next day. It took two hours, and was technically a theft.

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54

selfless, check... i mean i was just passing by. Then again not selfless, how could you live with yourself if you let someone get beaten up?

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55

Apo... you can be both and a sinner, according to the song.

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56

I say that's pretty selfless, Austro, and you probably have most of us beat.

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57

Selfless and physical, yes, that's more appealing.

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58

i doubt it, honestly.

Besides, my worst makes up for that.

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59

#53

so long as you rolled it back again, I d say no harm done.

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60

I want to say something about 28, but don't know how to phrase it.

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61

I rolled it back some time later. That didn't feel quite so victorious, however.

Also I refused the advances of a drunken lady when I knew she would regret it on at least one occasion. I think that's more in the chivalry category.

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62

I refused the advances of a non-drunk hot girl on multiple occasions a few years ago. Many people have expressed bafflement.

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63

Also I refused the advances of a drunken lady

at the risk of sounding priggish, unless you too were pie-eyed, that sounds like enlightened self-interest.

ac, you know that qualifies as teasing!

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64

I'd ask you to tell the story, b, but think I've learned my lesson.

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65

62. Ben wins

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66

It's not creepy or anything.

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67

it sounds weird though.

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68

re: 63. Perhaps yes. It's more evidence of "not a bastard" than positive proof of anything else.

re 62. Did you have chivalrous reasons, or was this a time when girls were icky?

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69

I mean your ability or desire to flesh out the story.

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70

Not only was it not a time when girls were icky, it was a time when feminine attentions were most welcome.

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71

must be... he said "a few years ago"

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72

As it were.

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73

Whatevers, ac.

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74

As we're on topic, I ve been holding my breath all day to see who picked up on the title of the post first. But then maybe that tells you more about me than I ought to tell.

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75

(Wait, Austro... are you saying that a few years ago I must have thought girls were icky? How old do you think I am?)

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76

That took time, Ben.

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77

But did you have chivalrous reasons? If it was that the woman was hot, but personally loathesome, this too falls under the rubric of enlightened self interest.

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78

So err Ben. How old are you?

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79

I have been 23 for about two months. I had, if not only chivalrous reasons, at least a spicy jambalaya of reasons in which the chivalrous reasons, like andouille sausage, formed a significant fraction.

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80

Actually Ben, I was not far wrong. (serious for a minute)

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81

I have a feeling that the title of this post is a joke which I do not get.

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82

Oops. Just posted to the wrong thread.

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83

I hope this can be elucidated zu meiner Zufriedenheit but I have to run. Later.

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84

It was also a badly formed link. This is what you wanted, nicht wahr? If you actually want to know the story here, I can tell it.

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85

Yes, I'm trying to do seven things at once. It's not going well. Yes, tell me the story.

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86

So, is it b or bw or b-wo or Wolfson or ___?

I demand to be shown a consistent image!

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87

I'll show you my consistent image, eb.

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88

60: Para 1, 2, or 3?

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89

There was an obvious point to be made about it, but I didn't want to be too snarky. Have a reputation for sweetness to maintain.

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90

Aw, come on.

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91

Oh yeah. Called on my coyness by the person who tells me two-line stories.

I was just thinking that it was, in itself, an illustration of the second half of what I was looking for. And he might want to balance it out with a doorbreaking or two.

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92

No, I think ac is right. Being snarky at unfogged is so inappropriate.

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93

Called on my coyness by the person who tells me two-line stories.

Actually it was three lines.

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94

It's how I define myself against you lot, you see, not being snarky or making cock jokes. I'm a rebel. (Although now I do recall saying something about being handy with tools.)

And right. Three lines. All the difference. I take it back.

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95

I think some of your cock joke set-ups have been intentional. Fruit doesn't hang that low of its own accord.

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96

I think you underestimate the gravity of what we post here.

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97

Yes, it's quite pendulous.

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98

No, I think ac is right. Being snarky at unfogged is so inappropriate.

I owe a few apologies then. Its been a hard day and I m in the mood for snark.

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99

what is ben? The gravity?

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100

100 woho

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101

The fruit.

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102

101 to 99. No, it doesn't make sense in the context of the analogy, but I got to call Ben a name.

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103

It's true; the comment sections have increased in length and magnitude since I came on board.

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104

Oh well thats ok then... :)

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105

I extinguished a fire in someones hair. Her hair touched a candle and the fire started pretty fast. She was a bartender. I reached over the bar and put it out with my hand. I am pretty spacey so I was suprised that I was even able to react in time.

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106

Now THAT is cool. I mean that saved a life, i reckon.

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107

Hasn't it already been well established that y'all are too rough and I'm too delicayte?

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108

Most manly: depending on interpretation, either making a major mistake at work and owning up to it immediately, or refinishing my entire basement with my own two hands: I put up walls, I did drywall, I ran electrical wire, I laid a 300 sq. ft. tile floor, and hung a drop ceiling. It took me a year, but I got her done.

Or, I suppose, there's the time I intimidated a guy who had been flirting with my girlfriend all night long, in front of me, by simply looming over him and telling him very calmly that I'd appreciate it if he'd stop. Big points with the girlfriend, at least.

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109

OT Grammar question which I should know and I'm sure is quite obvious: If I'm listing three authors, one whom appends Junior to the end of his name, what punctuation do I use to separate items in the list? It can't be "Eskridge, Jr., Frickey, and Garrett," right? Is it Eskridge, Jr.; Frickey; and Garrett?

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110

Depends on house style--but starting with the 14th edition the Chicago manual cuts the Gordian knot by saying you drop the comma before the 'Jr.'

Also, the Chicago manual FAQ is full of use-mention confusions. Shame!

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111

(Search the manual for "Jr." and click on the first answer to see the recommendation and the use-mention confusions.)

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112

Nothing like being a Chicago Manual guy when your boss uses AP.

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113

I've decided from now on I will no longer think of it as "killing" a thread, but rather "winning" it.

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114

I wait patiently for the joke to be explained.

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115

A couple of my comments in recent days have been the last made for an extended period of time. I now no longer feel shame that no one thinks me interesting enough to respond. Instead, my rule is "Last one to comment on a thread wins it."

So, if no one responds to this comment, I win. If someone does, well, sucks to them.

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116

Unless you were talking about 113 in the context of 112, in which case: they're unrelated.

I just have a boss who uses the AP style guide when developing marketing communications materials. I use the Chicago Manual. The two have differences. So, she points out "problems" in my work that I don't feel exist--e.g., the serial comma is a problem to her, but not to me.

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117

Or unless you were talking about 74, in which case I dunno. Unless Austro was commenting on the obvious "weiner/Weiner" joke which is there, but I always feel guilty about using (even though I do it), because really, how many times has he heard *that* joke over the course of his life?

Maybe there's some famous philosophy text with a title with a similar construction?

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118

I'll shut up now.

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119

yep, I'm referencing 74 and 81.

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120

For the record, people,# 74 was definitely not meant as any reference to Weiner whatsover. It quite honestly never occured to me, and if it did, well I hope even in my tired state i'd hold fire.

Actually it was based on a misreading of the title: My tired eyes put an "a" before "Mexican".

Lets just forget that shall we?

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121

See, now Austro wins!

Wait...

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122

I had to overcome my absolute conviction that that would happen before writing that last. Dammit.

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123

Michael, I think the post title puns on the use of "weiner" to mean a foodstuff. (A very rare use at the Mineshaft, true.) If there's anything more to it, I don't get it either.

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124

Ogged notoriously has trouble formulating jokes that are funny.

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125

Am I going to have to put up with overflowing hostility from Ben "Event Planner" Wolfson now that he's been exposed as not-so-very-careful-after-all?

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126

*splutter*

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127

Girls, girls! Hair pulling is OK, but no fingernails!

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128

just call him Filo and be done with it!

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129

I didn't plan a lick of that event! Seriously, look at the email exchange, it's all Kotsko and Weiner.

Also, this is the normal level of hostility.

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130

Sorry, Ben "Of Course Not" Wolfson, then.

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131

In the playground at school, the cry of "SCRAP" would go up when the hostilily overflowed.

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132

My ignorance re: Weiner's phone number corroborates, not undermines, my claim not have planned anything.

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133

Wow, he's in total meltdown.

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134

Sounds like denial to me.

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