Is this part of your new "Fast-Track" authority as blog president?
Alas, I'm in no position to grant most-favored-model status to anyone, but I do hope to bypass the whole "dating" mess, more as a scofflaw than President.
I'll stop hounding if you'll stop saying things are self-evidently untrue. That's a great picture of her. There has to be a way to true any system. If you really think Cruz is ugly in that picture (ugly, not "not my type," not "strangely unappealing,"), then I really have no way to make sense of any future claims about the attractiveness of women unpictured.
If I say she's "not my type" then you'll say, "What, you don't like women who are beautiful?" Maybe she's just not my type. I'll relent, even though in my little heart of hearts I think she's funny looking.
I personally think Cruz is stunning. But I can accept that there is definitely something in her looks that someone might not find appealing. I remember reading her described once as looking like the "lovechild of Sophia Loren and Ringo Starr." That seems just right to me, and also like a recipe for all-around-awesomeness.
No matter what you think of PC's looks, you must remember that she has boinked Tom Cruise and has been comtaminated by alien seed, causing her to bite the heads off subsequent lovers.
She's just like an Iranian but with a smaller nose!
I was so gonna say that, but I promised to lay off. So someone else is going to have to speculate about what this inability to see obvious beauty in a near-Iranian face means.
You guys go figure out which one looks Iranian (answer: neither). Love the Loren/Starr comment. That's exactly right. But DE, it's presumptuous to say that Cruz has boinked Cruise, unless "boinked" is a Scientological term of art for one of their rituals.
I appreciate the support ac, but didn't you also defend Wolfson's "palimpcest"? Maybe you just can't help but stick up for someone being assailed? Noble, but, you know, cold comfort for the person being defended.
Ogged - don't you know that Thetans boink by forcing their victims, er, lovers to have dinner at the Scientology Celebrity Centre, where they are fed odd alien dishes containing mutant DNA conveyors, after which the alien seed permeates their bodies?
I will say this for the Cruise & Katie thing - If she's really stayed a virgin thus far, she won't know there's anything amiss on her wedding night...
I really did get Wolfson's joke, and I really do think Cruz is an acquired taste. But I see I'll have to do some arbitrary disagreeing to re-establish my independence.
You guys go figure out which one looks Iranian (answer: neither).
Maybe it's just the steroids talking, but Gawd I hate you. She does look Iranian - just imagine an Iranian nose on that face. And maybe slightly more angular cheekbones. But I don't think that would be strictly necessary.
And no, of course the woman with the apple does not look Iranian at all. So now we know Michael drinks.
She doesn't look Iranian. Iranians have softer, rounder faces. Just do a search, you'll see. "Iranian" for some ungodly reason, just seems to mean "hot, dark-haired woman" to you.
You're right, it could be any number of things. The not-sleeping speculation was out of bounds. Glad you're not on smack. Might introspection reveal to you the cause of the most precipitous decline in comment quality in the Whole History of Unfogged, SB?
In saying this I don't mean to be critical; when I was studying for exams last summer I tried to ban myself from news and sports sites (this was before I started to read blogs) using the IE "content adviser" (this was before I started to use firefox) and I just ended up learning how to type in the password faster and faster to get around the restrictions.
I'm going to bed SB, but if you're serious, just say the word. Believe me, I understand. But don't let me catch you commenting elsewhere! I'll unban you so fast...
Ogged, do you know what "MALAACH MULOOCH during dinner" means?
I know what you mean about Penelope Cruz. I mean, I think she's beautiful, but she's definitely odd-looking (something to do with the proportions of/distance between her nose and mouth, I think). However, I often find odd-looking women attractive.
However, I often find odd-looking women attractive.
Me too, and I have a theory about this. I think perfect features look phony to most, a "barbie doll." The most attractive women are perfect except for one feature.
Well, ogged, you could certainly do worse.
But I'd bet she'd get tired of waiting for you decide whether you should actually take a bite of that apple.
Posted by peter snees | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 5:21 PM
Isn't she a little young?
Posted by NickS | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 5:26 PM
I have it on good authority that the model only dates apples. Sorry, ogged, you're not her phylum.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 5:29 PM
Not even her kingdom, yet.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 5:30 PM
Her over Cruz? I'm going to assume you've got some sort of product placement deal in place.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 5:30 PM
Kingdom, right. As ogged has pointed out, I haven't been at the top of my game lately.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 5:33 PM
marry their model
What happened to dating? Is this part of your new "Fast-Track" authority as blog president?
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 5:40 PM
You don't even know if she's related to any professional athletes yet.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 5:42 PM
I haven't been at the top of my game lately.
I nitpick only because I'm cranky. And because I can't see the word 'phylum' without reciting 'Kings play chess on folding glass stools' to myself.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 5:43 PM
Suddenly I'm not picky enough. You people just don't want to see me happy.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 5:43 PM
Timmy, see, this is just not very appealing. (Sorry, I try to limit the so-and-so is ugly stuff, but he's hounding me.)
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 5:44 PM
Is this part of your new "Fast-Track" authority as blog president?
Alas, I'm in no position to grant most-favored-model status to anyone, but I do hope to bypass the whole "dating" mess, more as a scofflaw than President.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 5:46 PM
ogged, you're aware that this product model, it's possible to take unflattering photographs of her as well, right?
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 5:46 PM
Sorry, I try to limit the so-and-so is ugly stuff
Well, it does make it clearer why you're single.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 5:48 PM
It might be possible, but I haven't seen them.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 5:48 PM
Suddenly I'm not picky enough
I can just relate to your quest to finance your future through tennis daddiness. Keep your eyes on the prize.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 5:50 PM
Tennis daddom?
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 5:51 PM
You take her over the astoundingly beautiful (cf. Jamon Jamon, i believe) Penelope Cruz? I worry about you, my brother.
Posted by peter snees | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 5:53 PM
Was it tennis? I don't want my kids to play tennis.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 5:53 PM
Timmy, see, this is just not very appealing.
I'll stop hounding if you'll stop saying things are self-evidently untrue. That's a great picture of her. There has to be a way to true any system. If you really think Cruz is ugly in that picture (ugly, not "not my type," not "strangely unappealing,"), then I really have no way to make sense of any future claims about the attractiveness of women unpictured.
I give up. You just hate Spaniards.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 5:54 PM
Not tennis as such--just the general phenomenon of steering your child towards athelic success.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 5:54 PM
*athletic
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 5:55 PM
Some people are like that. Me, me encantan las espanolas.
Posted by peter snees | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 5:55 PM
If I say she's "not my type" then you'll say, "What, you don't like women who are beautiful?" Maybe she's just not my type. I'll relent, even though in my little heart of hearts I think she's funny looking.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 5:57 PM
I actually know what you mean about Cruz, Ogged.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 5:59 PM
Off to swim, O haranguing opinionators...
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 6:00 PM
He said that just as I was agreeing with him.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 6:09 PM
I personally think Cruz is stunning. But I can accept that there is definitely something in her looks that someone might not find appealing. I remember reading her described once as looking like the "lovechild of Sophia Loren and Ringo Starr." That seems just right to me, and also like a recipe for all-around-awesomeness.
Posted by pjs | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 6:53 PM
Hey! She's just like an Iranian but with a smaller nose!
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 6:59 PM
No matter what you think of PC's looks, you must remember that she has boinked Tom Cruise and has been comtaminated by alien seed, causing her to bite the heads off subsequent lovers.
You have been warned.
Posted by DominEditrix | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 7:01 PM
Looking at the girl again, jeez man, she's like 16. Who do you think you are, Tom Cruise?
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 7:05 PM
She's just like an Iranian but with a smaller nose!
I was so gonna say that, but I promised to lay off. So someone else is going to have to speculate about what this inability to see obvious beauty in a near-Iranian face means.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 7:14 PM
Ok, well the model is decidedly beautiful, but what does it say about me that my second thought on seeing the image was: "Damn, that's a big apple."
Posted by Matt | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 7:20 PM
That you couldn't tell that she's a really small model?
Posted by bza | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 8:12 PM
sorry, SCMT, i was referring to Eve there, not P Cruz.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 8:15 PM
You guys go figure out which one looks Iranian (answer: neither). Love the Loren/Starr comment. That's exactly right. But DE, it's presumptuous to say that Cruz has boinked Cruise, unless "boinked" is a Scientological term of art for one of their rituals.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 9:34 PM
I appreciate the support ac, but didn't you also defend Wolfson's "palimpcest"? Maybe you just can't help but stick up for someone being assailed? Noble, but, you know, cold comfort for the person being defended.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 9:37 PM
Ogged - don't you know that Thetans boink by forcing their victims, er, lovers to have dinner at the Scientology Celebrity Centre, where they are fed odd alien dishes containing mutant DNA conveyors, after which the alien seed permeates their bodies?
I will say this for the Cruise & Katie thing - If she's really stayed a virgin thus far, she won't know there's anything amiss on her wedding night...
Posted by DominEditrix | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 10:12 PM
I really did get Wolfson's joke, and I really do think Cruz is an acquired taste. But I see I'll have to do some arbitrary disagreeing to re-establish my independence.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 10:21 PM
You guys go figure out which one looks Iranian (answer: neither).
Maybe it's just the steroids talking, but Gawd I hate you. She does look Iranian - just imagine an Iranian nose on that face. And maybe slightly more angular cheekbones. But I don't think that would be strictly necessary.
And no, of course the woman with the apple does not look Iranian at all. So now we know Michael drinks.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 10:29 PM
Steroids?
She doesn't look Iranian. Iranians have softer, rounder faces. Just do a search, you'll see. "Iranian" for some ungodly reason, just seems to mean "hot, dark-haired woman" to you.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 10:37 PM
Literally the first woman I saw when I googled Iranian . You can't be telling me that I'm just making up the similarities out of whole cloth.
Is it possible that you only know chubby Iranian women?
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 10:55 PM
Oh, steroids was a "rage" joke. Strangely, I did feel actual rage flowing through my veins. Must cut down on on political blogs.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 10:56 PM
Tim, look again at that page. Is she Iranian? She is not. Did I just say that you think "Iranian" means hot and dark-haired? I did.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 10:58 PM
Sorry to interrupt, but Cardinal Sin is dead. Let the sloth and gluttony commence.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 11:02 PM
Maybe it's Assyrians I'm into. That would be great, since you already waved me off the Iranians. So what news on the Assyrians?
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 11:08 PM
And of course lust.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 11:09 PM
Iranian or former Cruise lover?
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 11:11 PM
What's so funny about "Cardinal Without"?
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 11:16 PM
I don't know anything about Assyrians. Report back.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 11:25 PM
There's a lot of silly stuff going on in SCMTim's link, but none of it so incomrehensible as this:
They make money the old fashioned way: they think it.Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 11:34 PM
The Iranian personals are endless fun. Too bad the links are gone, but this thread gives you a pretty good taste.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 11:38 PM
Oh, I get it. Somebody is definitely putting stupid in the water over here.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 11:38 PM
You really haven't been sleeping, have you?
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 11:40 PM
Seventy Thousand Assyrians (I think this is the full text.)
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 11:43 PM
What, just because I haven't been the sharpest monkey in the barrel doesn't mean I'm all not-sleeping.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 11:44 PM
Oh, I see I'm interrupting another unfamous unfogged flirtation. I'll be quiet.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 11:44 PM
Sorry. You on smack?
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 11:45 PM
I could be on smack, for example. Which I am not. I'm just saying, the facts are underdetermined.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 11:46 PM
You're right, it could be any number of things. The not-sleeping speculation was out of bounds. Glad you're not on smack. Might introspection reveal to you the cause of the most precipitous decline in comment quality in the Whole History of Unfogged, SB?
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 11:50 PM
You're right, it was sleep. Apparently one of the symptoms is being needlessly contentious. Can you ban me? I mean seriously. I need to go away.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06-20-05 11:59 PM
You want me to ban you? Like, block your IP address, to force you to stop commenting? I'll do it if you're serious.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06-21-05 12:01 AM
So it's a lack of self-restraint?
In saying this I don't mean to be critical; when I was studying for exams last summer I tried to ban myself from news and sports sites (this was before I started to read blogs) using the IE "content adviser" (this was before I started to use firefox) and I just ended up learning how to type in the password faster and faster to get around the restrictions.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 06-21-05 12:05 AM
Hell, I'm still on hiatus.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06-21-05 12:11 AM
I'm going to bed SB, but if you're serious, just say the word. Believe me, I understand. But don't let me catch you commenting elsewhere! I'll unban you so fast...
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06-21-05 12:12 AM
Something like that, eb, yes.
Ogged, I'm now thinking that true banning can only come from within. I'll try to make myself scarce using less elaborate means.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06-21-05 12:16 AM
Ogged, apparantly, has trouble recognizing Iranians.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 06-21-05 12:55 AM
Cruz, to me, looks like a rat. A sexy rat. She's like Sarah Michelle Gellar in this way.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 06-21-05 7:53 AM
Yes! I like that. A rat. I don't begrudge anyone their attraction to rats, but it seems a bit much to insist that I share it.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06-21-05 7:58 AM
I am not asking you to share my attraction; I'm asking you to acknowledge that, by any useful or rational standard, you are a deviant. That's all.
Where do Assyrians hang out, like a wolf on the fold?
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 06-21-05 8:12 AM
Iranian or former Cruise lover?
Ogged, do you know what "MALAACH MULOOCH during dinner" means?
I know what you mean about Penelope Cruz. I mean, I think she's beautiful, but she's definitely odd-looking (something to do with the proportions of/distance between her nose and mouth, I think). However, I often find odd-looking women attractive.
shrug.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-21-05 8:18 AM
Joe,
Cruz, to me, looks like a rat.
When I read this I mistook it to mean "(Tom) Cruise, to me, looks like a rat."
I thought "The big nose, the exposed incisors, he's right!"
Cruz, on the other hand, I don't see the resemblance. In my eye she is okay but not exactly my cup of tea.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 06-21-05 8:54 AM
aposthropher,
However, I often find odd-looking women attractive.
Me too, and I have a theory about this. I think perfect features look phony to most, a "barbie doll." The most attractive women are perfect except for one feature.
Brittany Spear's cow eyes for example.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 06-21-05 8:57 AM
The Cruz mystery is over. I took a look at her picture. Her philtrum is too small.
So I say.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 06-21-05 9:04 AM
Hera won't be pleased to hear you calling cow eyes an imperfection, Tripp.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 06-21-05 9:10 AM
And the rest of us are a bit shocked that Spears lands in the list of "most attractive women."
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06-21-05 9:11 AM
Hera and I have already resolved things years ago.
Spears was on my list but I fear that she is one of those flowers which blooms spectacularly but then fades rather fast.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 06-21-05 9:27 AM
Ah, like Achilles.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 06-21-05 9:29 AM
57: It can't have been an Unfogged flirtation, 'cause if it was Wolfson would've actually banned SB in the middle.
75: She's never pleased, is she?
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 06-21-05 12:02 PM
No one can respond to 79 until at least comment 98.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 06-21-05 12:11 PM
?
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 06-21-05 12:12 PM
Yes, that's right.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 06-21-05 12:17 PM
I'm never going to get to respond to it, am I?
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-22-05 8:57 AM
Not without some work.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 06-22-05 9:00 AM