Yep, the boy has flippers for feet. When he first started winning medals (and hence becoming famous in Australia), his foot size was bigger than his age. It caused a great deal of amusement in the media...
Those would be good for swimming, but also for grander pursuits like foot puppetry, or leaning forward very far without falling over. Good luck finding an Olympic medalist to coach your foot puppetry, though.
Warning: If your spouse happens to have particularly large feer for her gender (perhaps as part of being unusually tall), telling her more than five times that she should consider taking up waterskiing, since "we wouldn't have to buy skis" may cause a less than desirable reaction. 1-4 times, though, you're golden.
If your spouse happens to have particularly large feer for her gender (perhaps as part of being unusually tall),
When Dr. Oops was about ten or so, we took a vacation in the Virgin Islands. She wasn't more than 5'6" or 7" at that point, but her feet were pretty close to their full adult size. We rented snorkels and flippers at a shack on the beach. The guy looked at her, and handed her a pair. She handed them back and said, "Too small." He tried the next size up. Still too small.
Finally, he bustled out of the back of the shack, and came out and looked at her feet: "You don' need no flippers, gal!"
Tripp - Hey, living where we do, we get to see young Paris staggering out/being carried out of bars on a regular basis. Her feet are most noticeable then. Size 11. She does try to minimise them by wearing short skirts and no undies, but it doesn't always work...
Y'know Tripp, there are at least two different videotapes of Miss Hilton widely available for free on the internet in much more intimate positions than prone and pantiless.
Well, the Tonya Harding sex tape was on her honeymoon. And in the Pamela Anderson tape, Tommy Lee keeps telling her how much he loves her. So, kind of, I guess.
Well, the Tonya Harding sex tape was on her honeymoon. And in the Pamela Anderson tape, Tommy Lee keeps telling her how much he loves her. So, kind of, I guess.
See, now that is the perfect synthesis of good old-fashioned romance with rampant capitalism.
But, how do you know all this? Is there a research paper somewhere?
Yep, the boy has flippers for feet. When he first started winning medals (and hence becoming famous in Australia), his foot size was bigger than his age. It caused a great deal of amusement in the media...
Posted by OLS | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 12:16 AM
I want big, wide, crazy flexible feet.
Those would be good for swimming, but also for grander pursuits like foot puppetry, or leaning forward very far without falling over. Good luck finding an Olympic medalist to coach your foot puppetry, though.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 12:47 AM
Warning: If your spouse happens to have particularly large feer for her gender (perhaps as part of being unusually tall), telling her more than five times that she should consider taking up waterskiing, since "we wouldn't have to buy skis" may cause a less than desirable reaction. 1-4 times, though, you're golden.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 8:17 AM
Are you starting to get competetive about swimming? Otherwise what does it matter?
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 8:28 AM
When you do something, don't you want to be really good at it?
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 8:31 AM
I want big, wide, crazy flexible feet.
Ogged's ideal.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 8:34 AM
Yes, but if you don't also accept your limitations (whatever they might be), you will be frustrated and sad.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 8:34 AM
Apo runs a homonculus clearing-house. Fess up!
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 8:35 AM
Hey SB, wanna come upstairs and see my homonculi?
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 8:39 AM
I seek twelve huskie homonculi for a homonculus Iditarod. Do you have the goods?
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 8:50 AM
When you do something, don't you want to be really good at it?
Not necessarily. Good enough will often suffice.
But then I'm a mellow fellow.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 8:54 AM
Thorpe's crazy feet are a detriment in such activities as running. And he probably doesn't have a future in the ballroom dancing circuit, either.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 8:55 AM
If your spouse happens to have particularly large feer for her gender (perhaps as part of being unusually tall),
When Dr. Oops was about ten or so, we took a vacation in the Virgin Islands. She wasn't more than 5'6" or 7" at that point, but her feet were pretty close to their full adult size. We rented snorkels and flippers at a shack on the beach. The guy looked at her, and handed her a pair. She handed them back and said, "Too small." He tried the next size up. Still too small.
Finally, he bustled out of the back of the shack, and came out and looked at her feet: "You don' need no flippers, gal!"
We don't let her forget that one.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 8:58 AM
The one time I tried it, barefoot waterskiing was a) difficult and b) painful.
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 9:01 AM
When you do something, don't you want to be really good at it?
You know the old saying - time wounds all heels.
I think it was 5 years ago I finally deep down accepted the fact I would never play pro football.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 9:33 AM
Not with that attitude you won't.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 9:37 AM
Admit it, boys - you don't care about swimming; you just want abnormally large feet so that women will think you have abnormally large cocks.
On that subject, have you ever noticed that Paris Hilton has huge feet? No tits, but huge feet...
Posted by DominEditrix | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 11:47 AM
I've never looked at her feet, DE.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 12:04 PM
DominEditrix,
Oh, yeah. Once you get past the tilted head and the swatches of bare skin you start to see that Paris has, what, size 10 feet and a long nose, too.
And, ben, that was a good one, but despite what "The Water Boy" teaches it takes more than attitude or anger to play with the big boys.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 12:16 PM
Tripp - Hey, living where we do, we get to see young Paris staggering out/being carried out of bars on a regular basis. Her feet are most noticeable then. Size 11. She does try to minimise them by wearing short skirts and no undies, but it doesn't always work...
Posted by DominEditrix | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 1:11 PM
DominEditrix,
I Stopped by to join the reading group. You'll be hearing from my lawyer unless you publish those photographs soon.
Posted by P Hilton | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 2:13 PM
Question: could you tell the above was Austro because of the extraneous capitalization, or did you have to chec the URL?
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 2:15 PM
I thought he was a Brit, not a chec.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 2:23 PM
Heidegger is hottt.
Posted by P Hilton | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 2:24 PM
Not as hot as muskrat love.
Posted by Muskrat Cheapskate | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 2:26 PM
The "k" key on this keyboard isn't very reliable.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 2:28 PM
Is revenge sweet, Ben?
I added the "I" as an afterthought. FWIW.
Posted by Austro | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 2:30 PM
Or a blast furnace.
Posted by Hotplate Muckrake | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 2:30 PM
The Caps on this keyboard equally so. Which is a bitch if you have to write in German.
Posted by Austro | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 2:33 PM
*boom*
Posted by Sodium Nitrate | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 2:42 PM
*Silence*
Posted by Stellus Sollus | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 2:47 PM
*snigger*
Posted by Akzo Nobel | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 2:55 PM
ditto
Posted by all together | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 2:58 PM
You all can go nothing yourselves.
Posted by Martin Heidegger | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 3:00 PM
Hi boys.
Posted by DamnRight JailBait | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 3:00 PM
DE,
She does try to minimise them by wearing short skirts and no undies,
I suppose one must applaud the effort.
Could you snap a few photos of Paris prone at closing time and sell them? Or, better yet, post them?
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 3:05 PM
Tripp,
If you like, I can give you the address of my favourite bar.
Posted by P Hilton | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 3:08 PM
THis grows tiresome.
Posted by Austro | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 3:08 PM
Oi, that was an identity steal too far. OK.
Posted by Austro | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 3:09 PM
Y'know Tripp, there are at least two different videotapes of Miss Hilton widely available for free on the internet in much more intimate positions than prone and pantiless.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 3:10 PM
Sorry Austro. Who would have guessed that Paris Hilton would favour British spellings?
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 3:10 PM
Sigh, apostropher, is there no romance left in this world? I ask you.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 3:13 PM
Apology accepted. Next time with more grace, though, if you please. But you're right. Who indeed?
Can she then spell in American?
Posted by Austro | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 3:14 PM
is there no romance left in this world?
Well, the Tonya Harding sex tape was on her honeymoon. And in the Pamela Anderson tape, Tommy Lee keeps telling her how much he loves her. So, kind of, I guess.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 3:19 PM
I hear tubgirl's boyfriend proposed that very night!
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 3:25 PM
*groan*
Posted by Master Steerpike | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 3:53 PM
apostropher,
Well, the Tonya Harding sex tape was on her honeymoon. And in the Pamela Anderson tape, Tommy Lee keeps telling her how much he loves her. So, kind of, I guess.
See, now that is the perfect synthesis of good old-fashioned romance with rampant capitalism.
But, how do you know all this? Is there a research paper somewhere?
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 06- 9-05 8:01 AM
You know Tripp, literature surveys are only ever a starting point. There is no substitute for original research.
Posted by Austro | Link to this comment | 06- 9-05 8:26 AM
There is no substitute for original research.
At the Mineshaft.
Posted by Anonymous | Link to this comment | 06- 9-05 9:52 AM