Re: I Am Friendly, Hear Me Whine

1

at 6'0", 150 lb, you may have to give up on 'menacing', unless you're going for the we-suck-young-blood emaciated vampire look.

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Have you tried tying a towel around your head?

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Been listening to Radiohead recently, Matt?

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Well, first accept that it's at least possible that the kid took her eye off of the maternal affection ball for a moment, and, when her attention returned, she immediately moved to the leg of the most feminine person in line. Second, start wearing a leather hood, like the Gimp in Pulp Fiction.

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On the emaciated vampire point—these girls discovered what startling effects a simple change of clothes can effect. Lose the Banana Republic slacks and get a Bauhaus shirt.

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6

You're not reading my blog, Wolfson. I'm hurt.

Hail to the Thief is their best album--discuss.

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7

We're not friends anymore, Timmy.

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8

I am reading your blog, luser, and it's the fact that you've now used that phrase twice recently that makes me comment.

I'm not prepared to discuss that topic, so I'd like to present the following alternate topic: "Wolf at the Door" is the best song on Hail to the Thief.

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Unclosed tag in 5! Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!

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Everything is links! Nooo!

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11

wear an eyepatch.

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12

I like the whole album, and each track for different reasons, but "Backdrifts" is my favorite at the moment.

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13

You thought, perhaps, when I mentioned singing "We Suck Young Blood" in the shower (on the blog) I was thinking of some other song by that title?

Or perhaps you were merely trying to start conversation in a friendly way, and were put off by my hostility. I don't know that I have a favorite. The other day I started with "Backdrifts" and put it on shuffle for two more tracks, which were WSYB and "Myxomatosis"--seemed like a nice little summary of the album. Maybe I go for "Backdrifts."

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14

Tell everyone about your concealed carry license.

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15

GMTA, Cala!

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16

Tatoo your knuckles. It might work.

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17

I kid because I love, ogged. (And I love because it sounds like you're a Size 2.)

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18

No, I thought you were thinking of that song. But it's only your persistent reference to it that made me think that you really had it on your mind, and had been listening to it recently. OK? Cheesus.

There's this guitar part for a short bit of "Wolf at the Door" that's practically buried in the mix and you have to pay attention to it but man, it makes the song. It makes the song the best.

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19

The Anton LaVey solution: 1) shave head; 2) grow goatee.

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20

Tatoo your knuckles. It might work.

Best yet! "HATE" and "LOVE". Chilllldrennnnnnn...

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21

I had the springsteen song in mind when writing that.

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22

Focus, people, focus! The topic was "Hail to the Thief"--which I actually only purchased in Austin at the end of May, which was why it has been in my head. The topic now is whether, with 17, SCMT has become the leading candidate to reset Ogged's Tivo. "I love because it sounds like you're a size 2," indeed.

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Actually, given the sweetitude of SCMT's 4, I should lay off. That was sweet.

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@ #15: Huh? Brain fuzzy. Blaming metaphysics.

B-wo -- where in 'Wolf At the Door'? (Cues it up on the iPod.)

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'great minds think alike'

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Although apparently great minds have trouble with acronyms.

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I like the whole album, and each track for different reasons, but "Backdrifts" is my favorite at the moment.

I am amazed to hear this. No offense, but I can't stand that song. It always strikes me as the most blase, cliched IDM that I could possibly imagine Thom Yorke shitting out in five or so minutes. It sounds effortless. In a bad way.

I do like HTTF, and think it has some very good songs (esp. the title track) but it's not very cohesive as an album. Seems like RH has entered a holding pattern after the reinvention of the preceding two albums.

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28

Scowl.

If you really, truly can not scowl, then wet yourself.

No one will come near you.

Oh, wait, you want mean.

Shave your head and grow a royale, and get a few eyebrow piercings.

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While head-shaving is good advice, I have the skinniest, pointiest head in the world. I would only be funny.

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30

*mentally replays WATD*

I think it might be there the ... second time Yorke sings "I'll keep the wolf from the door"? It's a very rapid picking sound. It's cool.

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Piercings count as drastic, I think.

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32

Hail to the Thief or OK Computer ? Tough call. OK Computer , just for "Let Down."

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33

Do like Cornfed Pig and artificially deepen your voice.

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34

Ben, I'm going for non-verbal strategies; if I have to talk, I've already failed.

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What is this "Radiohead" of which you speak? I've heard of them, but haven't heard them. Also "Coldplay," which I keep hearing about, but have never heard. Are these things you humans hear on the radio, or from friends, or what? Howcome I don't know about any of these bands?

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I just discovered Po' Girl, who are good.

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37

tom: No offense taken -- what I like about the song is really just the contrast with the fluttery sorts of rhythms (keyboardy vibraphony thingy) with the main melody; unsettling vs. kind of lamenting.

Of course, if you don't like "Let Down", this means war. ;-)

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38

Maybe it's because I know jack about IDM, but I disagree about HTTF and cohesion. One thing I like about it is that there aren't any tracks I don't like. On OK Computer, "Let Down" does exactly what it says--there's another couple of songs in the second half that are weak. Kid A is way cohesive but some of the tracks wouldn't stand up on their own. And Amnesiac isn't even supposed to hang together.

guess what you call holding pattern, I call a synthesis of the experimentation with song form.

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39

Woops. 15 is retracted.

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40

Okay, okay, we're making progress.

Tats? Temporary, if need be. Something like "God is Death" on your arm. Then hide your eyes with sunglasses, and scowl.

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41

Now, now, Matt. Don't give up your claims to greatness that easily.

But you're right about the second half being weak. I think song for song, though HTTT has as many weak songs; it's just that they're better spaced out than on OC.

Kid A is great to listen to as a whole, but each track oddly doesn't stand up on its own.

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42

Hmm... so we have Tatooed knuckles, eyebrow piercing, goatee and a shaved head and an eye patch. All that is now missing is gold front teeth,followed perhaps by a Schmiss (duelling scar), and appropriately baggy trousers.

There's a career waiting as a style consultant... I can see it now.

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38 -- disagree, disagree. I enjoy Let Down, and the placement of such.

I am an old fogey with regard to radiohead, and contend that the perfection of popular music was acheived in OK Computer.

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Of course, if you don't like "Let Down", this means war. ;-)

No problem there. Backdrifts might be at the bottom of my all-time favorite RH songs, but Let Down is certainly at the top.

Matt seems to disagree. I'd like to argue, but I just don't know how to proceed. Well, how to proceed without cursing, at any rate.

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I have the skinniest, pointiest head in the world

Probably not.

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We could put him in the comfy chair and poke him with the soft cushions.

More for our own amusement, of course. One cannot argue matters of taste except to say, "But 'Let Down' pwnz!!!11!!'"

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47

Just the knowledge that you have become a basso profundo will lend you a new air of menace, ogged.

Also: coldplay: teh suck.

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48

Probably not.

Closer than you think.

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49

If you truly want "mean" and not simply "hot but dangerous" I think you need ratty jeans, wifebeater tank top, fake scar from the corner of your mouth up your cheek, short spike hair, sunglasses, and a "God is Death" tattoo.

Whew. Yeah. That is as far as I can take it.

I doubt many sprogs will be hugging your leg.

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50

#36

Speaking of Vancouver bands have you listened to the Clumsy Lovers? I'm a fan of the Barnburner album and they have a song based on the Kierkegaard's "Stages on life's way" that is very good.

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51

While head-shaving is good advice, I have the skinniest, pointiest head in the world. I would only be funny.

I note that clowns can be both funny and very, very scary. Especially to kids.

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52

Tatoo a teardrop on your cheeck, preferably using a sharpened spring torn from a prison bed, with charcoal as the base for your ink. And a spiderweb on your left elbow.

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53

Also, Viagra and a couple socks placed over the relevant portion of your anatomy--people tend too shy from the obviously priapic.

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to

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Don't whatever you do, Tatoo your Czech though.

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56

* looks round for Wolfson*

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57

Get you one of these t-shirts and a Shi'ite Pride trucker's cap and loudly ask store clerks where they keep their box cutters. I guarantee you mommy won't let her kid anywhere near your leg.

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58

I love the shirt.

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59

"Just do it."

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60

Not the soft cushions!!!

41: I'm not retracting my claim to greatness, just to alikehood. (After all, for GMTA to be false, we have to exhibit two great minds that do not think alike.)

I'm a little surprised nobody's nuked me for ignoring The Bends yet. Everybody else seems to wuv it. I've heard it once in its entirety, later in bits, and have always disliked it for I think the same reasons I don't like "Let Down": teh whiny.

And, since we're at war, let it be this kind (yes ben, I'm recycling my links).

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61

The Bends is good stuff, yes. Not really any more whiny than their later albums, just less pretentious. If you don't like teh whiny, teh Thom Yorke maybe isn't your thing.

Perfect amount of pretention: Ok Computer. Perfect amount of everything: Ok Computer.

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62

I've been thinking of starting a "proudly pretentious" movement. It's part of my mission statement.

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63

Foomp!

Good word. Very friendly. Foomp, foomp, foomp.

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64

Maybe it's not so bad. Maybe people you are loved and feared. Like "Uncle Joe" Stalin.

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*minus the "people"

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Maybe you're right. I should think of all the kids that don't come running.

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67

Cartoon onomatopoeia is the highest form of non-verbal utterance. Foomp is a tasty 'poeia, but is any more sublime than the gagoing of bugging-out eyeballs?

Hey, ogged, if you indulged in a prophylactic gagoing, the young 'uns mightn't foomp so readily.

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Hey, I can be like the apostropher: time to work on the thyroid (link kinda gross).

Maybe "Foomp!" is like "Yahoo!" always with the exclamation.

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Yeesh. Why don't we just incorporate by reference the whole of rotten.com and be done with it.

Anyway, we're agreed on the exclamations.

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Apostropher is banned!

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71

That was easy.

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72

Or you could continue the frathaus theme ...

IMX, toddlers aren't afraid of odd-looking people. Except maybe clowns. Goths, punks, IRS agents - they're all the same to a toddler seeking a leg to clutch. The trick is to scare the parents.

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That shirt would be hilarious if it were all transliterated into the ancient greek alphabet.

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is banned!

Necessobangs everywhere!

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Uh, sorry for getting so much neologism on the blog. I'm having a problem with premature vernaculation.

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76

Cripes! I can't believe I didn't see it before. The best plans make use of the available material. What 6' hipster who weighs only 150 lbs is anyone afraid of? Drug Fiend Guy. Ogged, just constantly lick and smack your lips while in public; if still too appealing, occasionally roll up your sleeve and tap your inner arm at the elbow joint as if looking for an uncollapsed vein.

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Ooh! A music discussion! (Gradual delurking continuing....)

HTTF = Hail to the Feet? Oh, the things I don't want to know about Thom Yorke.

I agree with #60: The Bends is a pretty solid rock album, and Thom Yorke is whiny no matter what. I like most of the Radiohead albums, and OK Computer is probably the high point, but don't sell The Bends short. The pre-pretentious phase was good (modulo much of Pablo Honey), though maybe with "HTTF" they move into some new posttentious territory.

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Err. 60, 61, close enough.

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79

And if you're really lucky, you can become scary enough that this little girl doesn't come cling to your leg...

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80

As with any sort of stain caused by a bodily fluid, it's best to clean the stain as soon as possible, preferably while it is still wet. However, if you can't get to the stain until first thing in the morning, you should still have a chance at salvaging your undies. Try mixing one-half teaspoon of dishwashing soap or fine-fabric detergent into one cup (8 oz.) of warm water. Apply a small amount, blotting until the stain is removed. Since your stain is dry this might take a while, but it should at least get most of the yellow tinge off of your boxers. Rinse your underwear with cold water once you are satisfied with how they look. If the stain persists, try mixing one part white vinegar and two parts water, applying a small amount and blotting — but do this only once. Finally, put your underwear through a cycle in the washer and dryer. Of course, you can avoid this hassle just by masturbating with some tissues or a towel nearby. That way you can mop up your semen right away, without having to get up from your bed, preserving your underwear in the process.

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I really should have adapted it to the blog, but I haven't had dinner yet.

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Is anyone else uncertain as to why ogged just posted that?

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I don't know. He was just talking about how little kids were attracted to him.

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84

Perhaps he absent-mindedly transcribed some conversation he was having?

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Standpipe understands.

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I'm sure I don't.

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Okay, yeah, I do. You really should have adapted it, though.

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I know, now I feel lazy and bad, but I was hungry.

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Premature vernaculation?

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You were, were you?

Whenever I'm masturbating I really want to eat my semen, but when I finally ejaculate, I get grossed out by the idea. What can I do to make myself eat it?
This is quite common. The loss of desire to eat your semen once you ejaculate goes along with the post-ejaculation loss of interest in sex in general. I don't think there's anything you can do to "make" yourself eat it. You could, of course, save your semen from the previous ejaculation and warm it in the microwave! (Whatever you do, though, don't keep it in the refrigerator in a container marked "non-dairy creamer"!)

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getting so much neologism on the blog

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Nice, SB. A topic we like:

Now, I've never been asked to do this, but let's be honest: even men and women who really love performing oral sex need to be in the moment, hormones flowing, to really enjoy it. No one wants essence de genitals as a side with lunch, right? So you've just gotten off, you're enjoying your afterglow...and someone tries to feed you the stuff...of course it's going to be gross.
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I remember that post! "Essence de genitals" brings it all back. Good grief, it only got 10 comments.

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Simpler times, ya know?

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95

Remember when ogged had a job thing, and Bob did most of the posting? That like, happened.

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I think one of my first comments here was to volunteer to tell a story involving a blowjob & yogurt. But someone talked me out of it.

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Bob! I remember him!

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ac, let's hear it. (God, you love being asked to tell stories.)

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SB, how long have you been reading?? Why did you keep quiet, and what motivated you to comment?

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I was going to say it's probably a good thing.

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101

I remember that! That's when Fontana was brought aboard, nicht wahr?

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102

Gosh ... *sniff* ... the memories...

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103

That's right, Ben.

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104

Fontana introduces himself as a "guest blogger".

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And then goes nuts.

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106

I've been at least an occasional reader for I can't remember how long. It's hard to judge with accuracy now, because, since achieving "regularity", I've absorbed many references to beloved historical Unfoggiana that might otherwise serve as landmarks.

In the beginning, I didn't even bother to read the comments. I was new to blogs, and my experience with the comments on other blogs – at that point probably just Yglesias and one or two others – was, shall we say, sub-premium. Oh, if I had only known.

But eventually I figured it out. Reading comments, la la la. Time passed. Then one day, w/d started commenting. And then it occurred to me that when I start noticing the appearance of new commenters as such, it's time to either shoot myself, or prepare to delurk. I prepared, I delurked. Tada!

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107

30: Have we nailed down a minutes-seconds kind of thang?

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108

I was going to do that last night at home, but I forgot. Maybe it's on my mp3 player.

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Nope!

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110

e-mail me when you find out, I guess.

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I can't help but suspect you'll be disappointed.

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re: 106-

I had no idea I was so influential.

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113

Also re: 106-

I don't think Matt Y's posts have changed at all with the blog move, but for some reason his commenting community has changed completely.

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114

That's true, isn't it? That happened to someone else recently, but I can't remember who. By the way, anyone know how to get the comments at Yglesias's site to show up in the order they were left, rather than in ranked order?

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115

The order change of the comments on Yglesias's site makes it impossible for commenters to reply to other commenters.

Plus, yesterday I had a comment shifted to the very end. I still think democrats need to rally behind single payer health care and I don't care who knows it.

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I hate TPMCafe. The content is mostly interesting, but I find the interface completely defeating.

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117

Agreed on the interface. Terrible.

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118

It's mainly the comments, right? The rest of the site doesn't seem so bad, considering what they're trying to do.

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119

I haven't worked out a list of complaints -- it's more of a visceral reaction at this point -- but I hate it generally. The discussion section is particularly awful, but I don't like the blogs either. (Format, of course, not content).

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mainly the comments

Yes, mainly, but the front page is so busy that it's distracting to try to read it.

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121

I just found out why LB wasn't commenting so much a few weeks ago. 15 hours, huh?

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122

Aside from the fact that no one's ever tried to pick me up by offering me Greek food, pretty much.

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123

It would be a stretch to describe Inwood as "a fashionable area of Manhattan", methinks.

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124

LB, wanna come upstairs and see my pita?

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125

If you've got a PITA, you should go to a proctologist, not a lawyer.

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126

Who would you recommend, Ben?

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Your mom.

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128

Mom says you should use soap.

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129

I don't think you can win one of these with the apostropher.

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130

I was going to say that I thought it might ruin the taste for her.

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I read earlier today that it was asparagus, not soap, that did that.

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And that would have been very good, but probably over the line.

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133

Well, exactly.

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might ruin the taste for her.

Ha! Well played, good sir.

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135

probably over the line.

I have no lines to cross. Fire away, gentlemen.

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136

I think one of my first comments here was to volunteer to tell a story involving a blowjob & yogurt. But someone talked me out of it.

AC: And you listened to him? Boys are such prudes. My friend Maggie & I once drove my roommate David out of a bar because we were energetically debating whether semen tasted more like salted spaghetti water or stale egg-drop soup. He turned redder and redder and finally just bolted...

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What was decided?

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I wouldn't have picked Mitch Mills as the spoiler.

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139

You never know when people are going to bust out with the prudishness. Anyway, what do you think the story was? Semen accidentally shot into yogurt, which was later consumed? Penis dipped in yogurt? What? Maybe the yogurt is only tangentially related, like "a guy offered me his yogurt at 2am, and I gave him a blowjob." You know?

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Ogged, you wanna come upstairs and see my yogurt-dipped penis?

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141

What, you keep it in the fridge?

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142

He means "my yogurt-dipped penis" the way a serial killer means "I have my father's eyes".

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143

That was already implicit in 141, Ben.

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144

salted spaghetti water or stale egg-drop soup

I'm betting on the spaghetti water.

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145

I wonder whether this comment thread marks the inaugural usage of the phrase "my yogurt-dipped penis."

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Unfogged seems to own the rights to "hand-stretched penis" already.

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143, not necessarily: I meant "my yogurt-dipped penis" as in "the penis that I keep dipped in yogurt which was someone else's", but thought ogged meant "the penis, formerly attached to my body, now in my fridge".

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Apparently, vegemite works as alternative to yogurt.

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Or maybe I just never move more than a few inches away from my refrigerator.

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150

No no, I think in this sceanrio you definitely need to cut off your wang.

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151

Says the guy who goes by the handle "Chopper".

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I hardly know her.

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What was decided?

Apos - salted spaghetti water. Which seems to indicate that it would make more sense to dip your penis into marinara sauce than yoghurt.

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DE, were you two comparing tastes from the same guy?

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That wisdom of that judgment is temperature-dependent, I believe.

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DE, were you two comparing tastes from the same guy?

Not at that particular moment. We did, however, have occasion to share egg-drop soup.

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That wisdom of that judgment is temperature-dependent, I believe.

Nice, blood-heat marinara sauce beats ice-cold yoghurt any day.

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With the extra ingredient, I believe it becomes carbonara.

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159

You never know when people are going to bust out with the prudishness.

Prudish? Moi? No.

I direct you to the original comment: it wasn't just "a story involving a blowjob & yogurt", it was a "blowjob-gone-wrong" story.

And I just simply cannot bear to see a good blowjob go wrong (yogurt or no).

For the sake of other unfogged readers, however, I promise to avert my eyes, ac. Tell away!

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I hope you've had your fun with yogurt-dipped penis imagery. The actually story is that my friend Zara ate some yogurt a short while before attempting to give her boyfriend a blowjob, but he was so manly and well-endowed that she gagged...

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That's your yogurt blowjob story? If I have toast and kill my neighbor, is that a toast murder story? ac, why do you play us?

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That's not the end of it, I was just seeing if anyone was around.

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Carry on.

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The end of it was that she threw up the yogurt in the midst of the act and he though he was spewing the incredibly large amounts of white stuff. He nearly had a heart attack.

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He nearly had a heart attack

Because suddenly the vista of porn stardom was open to him? I'm incredulous. Unless he came just as she barfed, wouldn't he know that it wasn't him? I can see being confused.

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Well, I wasn't actually there. So I can't say. She told me he thought it was his.

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I suppose one would be more inclined to think "I'm an incredible stud" than "I made her barf."

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ac, why do you play us?

So was that enough for you?

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169

I'm not as dissatisfied.

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Come on, man. It was a story involving goop. Your favorite.

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I thought goop was your favorite. Anyway, it's a story involving yogurt, which I like ok.

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172

Hey, don't you have a boyfriend and an obsession? What are you doing here on a Friday night?

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173

I was out earlier.

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Also my boyfriend's out with some friends tonight. He should be here in a little bit.

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175

Me too. I was at Whole Foods. Then I went to a car wash and ate my sandwich while I was inside. It was pretty cool.

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I was out with other people.

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Where'd you go? Was that cold? I'm sorry. Come back.

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178

Huh? I told you everything there was to tell about my evening. I'm just waiting for them to start moving the site, so I can get back to working on the new site.

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179

I was out with these women I bonded with instantly last week. It was very strange how much I liked them.

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180

From work?

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181

No, a group my friend Alex met through Frienster. They all went to Bryn Mawr, and I think it was some women's college vibe that I was responding to.

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Or Friendster

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Friendster?! People use that? It works?

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I guess so. I'm not on it.

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I think we've reached the point at which I'd yell at people to get into the chat room. Feel free to email me.

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This is the part where you're supposd to lean in and kiss her, not say "So, it was nice talking to you...ummm...we'll talk soon. Ok?"

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187

My sister met her last boyfriend on friendster. She made me sign up, too. And she wrote me a testimonial, too.

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188

Her last boyfriend? Not her current boyfriend then, eh?

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189

I don't think there is a current boyfriend. Mama wants some high school friend to be the current boyfriend and they've spent a lot of time together, but she swears they're just friends. Why, you interested?

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ogged, seriously, lacking in smooth...

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191

People, people, I just meant that Friendster hadn't been such a success. Geez.

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Well, I've not tried to meet people through friendster, but I did just get some SPAM for Christian singles. Hooray. Maybe I should try that. But then I'd have to pretend to be one of them, wouldn't I?

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193

No, see, in my world, you are constantly trying to 5cor3 Ch1x on teh IntarWeb, and constantly failing. If you served popcorn and fountain pop, I'd never need to see a movie.

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194

If I were seriously trying to score chicks here, it would be the saddest site in the world. Wait, is that why people...

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Yup. Sorry.

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196

I'd like to thank Chopper for retroactively providing exciting subtext to the most boring comments I've ever left here.

Right, I'm off. Before I'm banned.

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197

Off to use the women's college vibe?

Sorry, LHF.

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198

I, party girl, and a mutual friend who I may never see again just drank three bottles of wine. Uh, I guess I don't actually have anything to say.

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Except, of course, that I seem to be of the opinion at the moment that I'm a MUCH better typist now, tipsy, than I am when sober. At least it appears that way to me—I know, intellectually, that I am a worse typist right now. The number of mistakes I just corrected would attest to that if they were visible in the final copy. Including correcting "correct" to "corrected", which would have been ironic indeed had I let it slip by. I think it would be fair to say that at this point even the subjective experience of typing better has been undermined by the harsh realities of my inebriated state.

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Not quite feeling the keys as you hit them is similar to effortlessly good typing, but it's not precisely the same.

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I am reminded of the "actor" trick of the trade.

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Those are awesome!

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The author, Matthew Baldwin, started a blog devoted to collecting further tricks following the tremendous response to the original article.

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Cool cool cool. Thanks for those links. You're a linky drunk.

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Alas, I will probably never see those two people again, what with their summer plans (one backpacking in Alaska, t'other going to Poland and then spending the following quarter in Paris), and my own imminent departure for the west coast of the USA. Next year, of course, they themselves will graduate, and one of them (the dood) wants to decamp for the Hebrides, of all places (how cool is that? In my youth I thought it would be cool to live in the windswept icy isles north of Scotland (they are north of Scotland, right?)) and the other will either pursue graduate education in anthro or build boats. And it's not as if I spent much time with either of the two this past year.

By a remarkable coincidence I happen to be listening AOTW to Huun-Huur-Tu singing "Eshten Charlyyry Berge", which apparently means "It's Hard to be Parted from a Friend". How true, my Mongolian brothers; how very true.

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Well, that is sad, but you'd be surprised how often paths intersect if you really want them to.

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Of course for "brothers" I should have said "brethren", for, in accordance with Kurylowicz's fourth law of analogy, the success of the modern "brothers" has relegated "brethren" to a specialized, "spiritual" (if you will) meaning: not my brothers by birth, but by election.

Of course I (and one other) maintained that of course we'd see each other again, a view which is more or less just as naïve as that which holds that of course we won't.

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The second view being held by the third. I suppose that was clear.

I feel somewhat obligated to say "of course" again.

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Well, the pessimist is always the most wounded. And anyway, "of course we'll see each other" isn't a prediction so much as an expression of affection.

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(they are north of Scotland, right?)

Hebrides are west; Shetland and Orkneys are north. If you want really cold and windswept, try the Lofoten Islands off Norway in winter. [Oddly enough, it can get hot there in summer.]

Did you know that you lose your who/whom distinction capability when you're soused?

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We're none of us perfect, my dear.

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Hey, Ben, sounds like you had a melancholic evening. My sympathies.

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Christ, he corrects all the typos even when he's drunk, and throws in bonus diëresis as well.

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So the mathworld page for twin primes says that, aside from (3,5), they all have the form (6n-1, 6n+1). But this is obvious.

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Apropos of something?

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Ben was correcting my erroneous use of the "Doctrine of Elevens".

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Sometimes drinking too much gives me diëresis as well.

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Teach me to request clarification.

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In the last post on the old host, the comments to which were explicitly noted as destined for the inky blackness of death, SB had referred to the Twin Primes Conjecture, and his proof thereof.

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Ben's 214 continues a thread currently dissolving into nothingness on the old server.

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his

I thought we'd established that we don't know that. Standpipe is unique in Standpipe's Standpipeness, and must never be referred to with a pronoun. The reflexive, of course, is Standpipeself.

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Standpipeness

I think the proper term is Standpipitude.

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It's true. I was lazy.

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I think the proper term is Standpipitude.

Or "Standpipitudenessicality", if you're not into the wholeAAAAAGH!

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Whatever pronoun you like is fine with me. Please no awkward constructions; my conscience couldn't bear it.

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It?

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I vote we refer to Standpipe with "that", or "that one". You know, to spare that one's conscience.

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Because that wouldn't be awkward. "It" is fine for me:

It puts the lotion in the basket.

See how normal that sounded?

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You don't think I think 'Standpipeself' is awkward, do you?

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Some people google themselves. Standpipe anagrams Standpipeself:

Bleeding Papist Petard

Digestible Dapper Pant

Papa Dinglebird Septet (my post-surrealist jazz combo)

Palpitate de Bedspring

Splendid Teat Bagpiper

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We're none of us perfect, my dear.

Nonsense, Benjamin, you were raised better than that. You must be perfect, or the world will come to an end. [And whatever you do, don't lesnerize...]

But now we know your "tell" and will be able to distinguish Wolfsober from Wolfsot.

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Palpitate de Bedspring

Ooooh, I want to use that for my porn director name! [Not, mind you, that I am engaged in said occupation, but, as we all know, everyone in Hollywood really wants to direct.]

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What with the red hair and tit-flashing, I think apostropher is the true Splendind Teat Bagpiper.

"Palpitate de Bedspring" is sublime, though. I think that should be your porn name, SB. "Digestible Dapper Pant" will be your first big feature.

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Hmmm, that'll teach me to not refresh for (at least) sixteen minutes. 233 was composed without having seen 232.

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Don't worry, Mills. If DE wants Palpitate de Bedpsring, I'll take Pete "Pipi" Gland-Dabster.

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My sophomore effort will be a tale of revenge upon a man with a monstrous wang. I will call it Pip Bigpart Delenda Est.

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"Pip Bigpart Delenda Est" is so f&*%ing geniusical that I'm almost persuaded that it's the original and "Standpipe Bridgeplate" a mere anagram.

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Have I ever mentioned here my acquaintance Niel Seghal, who, in his days at UCLA, played the part in a student film of a man who, with his monstrous wang, clubbed another man to death? I'm sure I must have.

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Looks like you mentioned him here.

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SB, how long have you been reading??

Picking through some old browser flotsam the other day, I discovered that I first bookmarked Unfogged no later than May 2004. This is the earliest comments link I have evidence for having clicked on.

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