Re: I'll Be Over Here

1

You gotta spend all that money on something.

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2

Yeah, fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches, like a real American.

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3

This raises the question of what Eminem's records will be like after he gets all healthy and chilled out. Standards duets with Rod Stewart? Eminem reads Kahlil Gibran? Eminem and Elmo rap for the kids?

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4

Have yourself an Eminemmy Christmas?

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5

What is a "water haircut" ?

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6

Eminem and Elmo rap for the kids?

50 Cent: I Wuv Unicorns and Ponies

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7

That question just shows what a blue, Manhattan cocoon you live in, Joe.

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8

Eminem and Elmo rap for the kids?

50 Cent: I Wuv Unicorns and Ponies

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9

I live in San Francisco, which is admittedly even bluer coccon-wise.

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10

Ah, fuck.

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11

Lexi/sNexi/s can sue my ass:

Copyright 2000 Tower Media, Inc.

The Daily News of Los Angeles

November 14, 2000, Tuesday,

SECTION: NEWS,

LENGTH: 643 words

HEADLINE: PHIL JACKSON'S LOOK NOW & ZEN;

LAKERS HEAD COACH GOES L.A., SPORTING A STYLISH NEW WARDROBE AND HAIR CUT INSPIRED BY FENG SHUI

BYLINE: Barbara D/e Wit/t Fashion Editor

BODY:

Prodded by his girlfriend, Lakers head coach Phil Jackson has adopted a new, oh so So Cal look that's inspired by Feng Shui and given form by a hair stylist and clothes designer.

Jackson has sidelined the bushy beard for a trim mustache and super-hip ''soul patch.'' (You know, that just-short-of-a-goatee facial hair style that's popular with the Silver Lake music and art crowd). He has a shorter, ''water cut'' with more pepper than salt in his hair while sporting a dapper custom-made wardrobe.

The idea for the makeover was planted in September when Jackson spent a week at the Golde/n Doo/r spa in Escondido with his girlfriend, Jeanie Buss, the 39-year-old daughter of Lakers owner Jerry Buss.

''Phil already has a good sense of style,'' Jeanie Buss said. ''But he's shy and needed a little help.''

Jackson says nobody was looking at his haircut when he coached the Chicago Bulls to six NBA championships. But now he's a champion in L.A.

''I'm still getting used to it,'' said the 55-year-old coach. ''I like the less-care, less-hair aspect to it . . . and I'm amazed at what I look like.''

Jeanie Buss agrees.

''I think he's sexy anyway he looks, but this new look is great!''

Whether the Jackson makeover will help the Lakers repeat as NBA champions remains to be seen, but the fashion world is impressed with his hipness.

''It's about time he started pulling his look together,'' said Leo/n Hal/l, co-host of E! television's ''Fashio/n Emergenc/y.''

''After all, he represents a major team and is seen by millions of people on TV and mingles with stars, so he should look the part . . . especially since he's following in the footsteps of Pat Riley, one of the most dapper dressers in current sports.''

Defending himself, Jackson quipped, ''I'd like to follow in Pat's footsteps and win as many NBA championships as he did, but our looks are entirely different. Pat, with his Armani suits, is Mr. Slick . . . and I'm Mr. Comfort.''

Not surprisingly, the basketball coach who's known for sharing Zen philosophy with his players didn't approach the makeover lightly. It was carefully executed according to Feng Shui guidelines, said Ventura-based stylist Bill/y Yamaguch/i, who was recommended by Jeanie Buss.

''When it comes to Feng Shui, the ancient Asian art of placement, we look at the whole house, so to speak, and try to determine the client's chi (energy) and then choose hair styles, glasses and clothing that will suit him best,'' Yamaguch/i said.

''Since Jackson has a water element in his personality we gave him a 'water cut' to enhance his sophisticated, but risk-taking energy and then suggested a new wardrobe based on winter shades, such as black and gray which enhance his hair coloring.''

A water cut?

''It's a short, brushed-forward style that has a gladiator appeal and is a youthful look for him. And with his shortened sideburns, his cheekbones are more emphasized,'' Yamaguch/i explained.

Jackson didn't have to look far for his new wardrobe, selecting Costa Mesa-based Davi/d Ricke/y. The design studio also makes suits for many of the players who helped the Lakers win this summer's championship, including league MVP Shaquille O'Neal.

According to designer David Heil (whose partner is Ricke/y Lamiti/e), ''The wardrobe we've designed for Jackson will include single-breasted, three-and-four-button suits in black, gray and taupe that he'll wear with white or blue shirts and solid or neat ties. We're not giving him the Regis look, but a special look created just for him, right down to his custom- made, cap-toe lace-up shoes.''

So what's next?

Yamaguch/i said look for Jackson to be wearing thicker black-framed glasses soon. The coach isn't making any promises.

''I'm going with it one step at a time,'' Jackson said. ''But I'll probably grow a beard during the playoffs.''

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12

Actually, I'm going to go back and de-googlify that comment.

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13

Actually, that comment was a shot at Ogged, for expecting us to know what the hell he was talking about (and incidentally for pot-kettling on the subject of people living in blue places).

Also, the author of that article seems to use "super-hip" to mean "a laughingstock, a hissing and a byword." I wonder why.

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14

12: ?

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14: done.

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16

I didn't say anything about blue.

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17

The idea being that anyone who is searching for one of those phrases won't find out that you've ripped the copyright?

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18

Oh, yes I did. But I seem to have a somewhat broader experience of the world than Mr. Yglesias.

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19

Precisely.

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20

That's true, but I suspect that on the particular point of contention it's more California vs. everywhere else than blue vs. red. I first heard that one from you, and I've spent most of my life in Pittsburgh (blue, but not exactly coastal), as well as living in the reddest of all states.

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21

20 to 18.

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22

And McGrady hits the three! 21 to 20.

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23

Well, it's anywhere with a sizable Asian population, so definitely California, also parts of Chicago, and parts of Boston.

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24

It's interesting to contrast this stereotype, then, with stereotypes such as "Jews are bloodsucking moneylenders who control the world," which I'm pretty sure is not restricted to areas with a sizable Jewish population.

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25

Give it time. I'm doing my best to make sure everyone knows about Asian drivers. The apostropher knew, so wherever he lives, too.

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26

Too bad McGrady didn't make that 3 more often. Can anyone imagine anything more boring than the Spurs versus the Pistons?

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27

It's not just boring; it's physically painful. Of course, this is precisely the sort of series ogged was hoping for. (Because he hates America.)

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28

I was just about to say that I like this matchup. Fucking America.

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29

I'm pretty sure I wasn't under the impression that McGrady was still playing, but I would not go so far to claim that I knew anything about him other than that he's apparently a pretty good basketball player.

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30

Admit the worst part of it, ogged: you want the Spurs to win.

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31

Ogged, are you annoyed that these people a) change b) become less self-reliant c) become less masculine? You put it out there as if it were self-evident, but I am more obtuse. Or does it have something to do with a need to exercise control over everything, instead of just going with the "flow" (ontic throwness, if you will).

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32

Hook 'em horns! Or something!

Actually, I'm having a tough time, because I like both teams.

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33

Good Lord

> Haircut and Feng Shui Consultation with Traditional Footbath

>Feng Shui consultation from a Benu hairstylist-trained by Billy Yamaguchi, the celebrity author of Feng Shui Beauty. Billy has had a host of celebrity clients including: Jennifer Anniston, Lisa Kudrow, Courtney Cox, Julia Roberts, Mel Gibson, Drew Barrymore, Brooke Shields, Kate Moss, Ashley Judd, Gwyneth Paltrow, Phil Jackson, and others. Start your experience with a traditional Footbath, then receive our customized Feng Shui Consultation, and finish off your experience with a Shampoo and Scalp Massage, Haircut, and Style.

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34

A fine question, Michael, so you'll understand that you're banned forever. I'm disturbed by how readily people change, and I'm disturbed that they change to adopt a lifestyle that in its emphasis on youthful appearance and disdain for grit, grime, rough, and tumble, seems to signal a fear and retreat from the world as it is.

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35

Mel Gibson!

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36

You've got to be kidding, ogged. I'm going to assume that word doing all the work there is "change."

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37

What's your problem now, Bernie?

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38

I'm horrible at finding links, so this will have to be less arch than I want.

1. "emphasis on youthful appearance": you wear the same jersey every day to work. And it's a hipster jersey.

2. "disdain for grit, grime, rough, and tumble": where o' where is the post in which you talk about (a) how much you like small luxuries, and (b) can't stand people who won't spend to pamper themselves?

3. "signal a fear and retreat from the world": what's the TiVO at now?

The fact that variations on all three could be applied to me in no way diminishes the force of my point. (ATM).

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39

I could just say "self-loathing" and win, but what does my desire to avoid going to the laundry room have to do with an emphasis on youthful appearance? Nothing, that's what.

Yes, I don't like grit and grime either, but I don't take extraordinary steps to keep them out of my life, and I think it's fine for people to pamper themselves, but surely there's such a thing as "a bit much."

586. Why do you ask?

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40

SCMT, having done a link-fest at you, I will do one for you: one two (bonus exegesis and... ah, can't pick just one for three.

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41

Punctuation train-wreck! I think adding a ')' after exegesis will take care of it.

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42

I think it's weird that you know, to the day, how long it's been since you last had sex. Maybe if the number of days were smaller—say, less than one hundred—it wouldn't seem that way to me. But at 586? You'll never achieve no-mind.

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43

Five-hundred eighty-six. You have to spell it out to fully appreciate it. The scores from a seven-games series between SA and Detroit wouldn't add up so high.

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44

Yamaguch/i said look for Jackson to be wearing thicker black-framed glasses soon.

The Harry Potter look...

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45

Have I never mentioned my friend, the hottie, who went 7 years without sex (most of her twenties)? On that scale, I ought not even be looking yet.

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46

Was there a backstory? An overarching cause? Or is it just one of those things where a lot of smaller causes add up?

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47

Does that really comfort you, O?

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48

Think of it this way—it hasn't even been eighty-four weeks, or two years. Two years isn't so long.

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49

Unless you're not getting any.

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50

Was there a backstory?

No. Just didn't meet any guys she wanted to sleep with. (She now has a boyfriend.)

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51

Jesus, I bet she nearly killed that guy.

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52

You know, I should have asked about that.

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53

Asked him, right?

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54

I don't know him. I should have asked her (still can, I suppose).

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55

A Female recruit to a combatant unit, upon being asked by weapons training instructor if she thought she could kill a a man:

"How long do I have?"

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56

Oh, there were 8 minutes between ogged being asked and his answering. So I am assuming he worked it out. Does that put the "knowledge" of the 586 in perspective?

Doesnt seem so off-the-mark to me.

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57

Weiner, thanks for #40. Ogged, I'm not sure if "self-loathing" in #39 is supposed to refer to me or you. (Seriously.)

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58

I know a very attractive woman who hasn't had sex since 1999. I also know another woman--who is, not coincidentally, the most beautiful woman I know--who is my age and yet didn't have a sexual relationship until this past year.

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59

who is, not coincidentally, the most beautiful woman I know

Which way is the direction of causation?

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60

i hope that the amount of booty one gets is not inversely proportional to the degree of hotness one possesses.

that would be wrong.

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61

You suggest sex may be disfiguring?

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62

Are these women crazy? If not, why haven't you given them my email address?

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63

Why silvana, are you having a lot of sex or are you very beautiful?

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64

61 to 59

I don't think there's an inverse relationship in general, but I think in her case it's the being loved for herself alone, not for her yellow hair problem.

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65

Is she lovable?

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66

Or purity may give you that special glow...

ah, hell, that is what I was suggesting. That and 60 seem to be the only choices.

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67

ogged, i was hoping both.

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68

As for 1999 woman, she is in love with one of the most talented and famous men in the world, who is her friend, and calls her all the time. She basically lives for his calls. And compares everyone she dates to him, unfavorably.

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69

65 - Yes, she is extremely lovable and sweet.

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70

64: Then you definitely need to introduce her to some e-guys! We can't even see her yellow hair.

(It is noted that she has been, and may still be, in a relationship. She should be happy.)

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71

re 68: hey, i know someone like that, too. in fact, i'm not quite sure that she's ever had sex. which is a pity, really. but this guy she's in love with is super hot.

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72

1999=crazy.

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73

68: Has anyone told talented and famous guy to stop fucking with her head? Or am I misinterpreting?

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74

It's gotta be Ya-Ya Moo. Bastard. [edited by ogged]

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75

Yes, yellow hair is now engaged. 1999's still available, though. Talented & famous man is happily married, doesn't fuck with her head, she's in love with him anyway.

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76

What's the theoretical maximum number of people who can be members of the class "most talented and famous people in the world." Talent may not be finite, but surely the total amount of fame is finite for any given population.

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77

You can be locally famous, versus everyone in the world knowing your name. And on 74 - I can't even answer.

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78

surely the total amount of fame is finite

Doesn't "famous" just mean "a person known by many?" In principle, can't everybody be famous at the same time?

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79

silence is an affirmation, ac.

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80

w/d--amount doesn't matter, because it's a superlative. Even if fame were unlimited, there could be only one most famous person, barring tied.

But 'one of the most' literally means 'one of the n most' for some n, and I don't know that there are any hard and fast rules for what n is.

Of course we know that it's really Tom Cruise.

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81

It is Ya-Ya Moo. This is now the I Hate Ya-Ya Moo blog. Ya-Ya Moo sells crack to kids. [edited by ogged]

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82

My thought was that fame is inherently comparative, and that you need some non-famous people to check against to see if any given person is famous.

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83

I'd actually appreciat it, Ogged, if you could make his name ungooglable--just changed slightly. If you would.

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84

'barring ties'

79: Stop it! Not in a forum where you might be asked another question--it's wise to decline to answer all questions, no matter what the answer is, so future refusals to answer can't be taken to give information.

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85

You mean, the musician? Seriously?

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86

*appreciate

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87

F i F

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88

Maybe you should just delete from 74 on.

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89

Yes, please.

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90

Done.

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91

No, actually, Ya Ya Moo is fine.

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92

I'm all flustered.

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93

What's "F i F"?

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94

shit, i feel mildly like an ass now.

is it possible to ban oneself?

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95

it's what ac pled.

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96

Oh. Did you make that up, or is it a thing?

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97

it's a thing. don't you ever watch chappelle's show?

i could find a link to the clip, but i am lazy. it's quite funny.

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98

Nevermind.

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99

I do watch it, but don't remember that. Which skit?

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100

You know, Tom Cruise wasn't a bad guess. K. Holmes purports to be a virgin. (That, anyway, is the explanation she gave me for not staying over).

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101

it was the law & order spoof. dave is in court and singing various songs (ditties, if you will) about how he is pleading the fifth to various questions posed to him by the grand jury. at one point, he holds up a piece of paper that says "F i F" - if i were a more impulsive type, i might consider a tattoo.

and katie holmes is considering scientology, for the love of all that is holy. it's all a vicious plot.

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102

Damn, I haven't seen that skit.

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103

well, now it's ruined.

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104

Silv--that's been explained here.

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105

Am I to infer that the name which ogged has changed to "ya ya moo" used to be that of someone whose name is spelled with the same vowels less one, differently arranged, and that ogged straight up pulled it out of the air? Damn, I wish I had been here before the change.

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106

I think this is a time where the better part of valor is not to talk any more about this, but rather that all we silently ponder the wonder which took place before our eyes.

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107

Is anyone else humming "Bailamos"?

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108

yes, actually, i am.

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109

You know, obviously Mr. Moo is talented and famous. Not my cup of tea, no, but very talented yes. And indubitably famous.

But seriously, thinking he's so hottt that you're not attracted to anyone else for six plus years? Has she considered therapy?

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110

Just read the comment above, and feel I should reply. She's really a very sensible person. She used to have a strong romantic streak which has waned as she's gotten older--and as relationships seem to have become more about mundane things than great passion. She's no longer sure she can sustain great passion. The only person who gives her even a glimmer of that feeling is Mr. Moo.

Considering that the guys she's gone out with just make her feel sort of blah, she'd rather hang out with her friends, if the point is conversation/being understood/connecting to people.

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