Re: On The Phone

1

It's just not worth it to talk to you on the phone, is it?

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2

I'm trying to make it easier.

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3

When I worked on, among other things, predictive dialers I learned what sweatshops telemarketers work in.

Imagine someone dialing a number, waiting umpteen rings for a pickup, or waiting 8 rings before hanging up. Imagine all that wasted time when the telemarketers could be barfing out their scripts.

We can't have idle workers! No sirree, at minumum wage you want to get as much mileage out of your workers as you can. Uh huh.

So you buy a predictive dialer. You tell it you have six agents, the average call when answered last thirty seconds, it take an average of six rings to answer, and only one out of four calls will be answered.

It launches twenty four calls. As soon as a call is answered it connects that call to an agent, and dials four more. If the system is tuned just right then every agent will have another call waiting just as they disconnect from the previous.

But what if it is tuned wrong? You might have agents sitting idle for a second or two. You can't have that. Oh no.


So tune it so that it launches too many calls. If a call is answered and there is no agent available, disconnect the call and put that number on the list for recall, typically after ten minutes.

Now you know why you used to get so many hangups. It wasn't prank calls. It was telemarketers. Note the time when it happens. Chances are you will get another call in ten minutes.

God I hated telemarketers.

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4

When the revolution™ comes, the telemarketing executives will be second against the wall, just after the insurance industry guys.

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5

What about that zoom-zoom kid? He'll be up against that wall too, won't he?

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6

No, he'll be running Gulag III.

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7

And Carrot Top.

Must-Kill-Carrot-Top-With-Cascade-Of-Bullets-From-Lovely-Uzi.

I almost cancelled my AT&T service when that campaign came out.

Also up against wall: The 'can you hear me now?' man.

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