Brad Pitt is very attractive, but he is not in the same league as Angelina Jolie. (Not responsive to any issue raised by your post, but it needed to be noted.)
I once had a very sketchy sketch of an argument for the superiority of latkes to hamentaschen, that, if fleshed out, would have been suitable for presentation at a Latke-Hamentaschen symposium. I mostly remember now that I intended on analogizing latkes to the sun in Plato's cave, possibly on the basis of their being (ideally) circular.
"Among the most distinctive features of the Purim festivities are the special pastries known in Hebrew as 'oznei Haman,' literally 'ears of Haman.' We may ask why particularly this body part was chosen -- the triangular shape of these cakes could just as easily correspond to Haman's nose."
Nobody is. I like this from the fametracker piece.
Angelina Jolie is not sexy, exactly; she's more like what an alien race might concoct from scratch, based on some half-garbled idea of earthly sexiness. But, being an alien race, and not really understanding the usual limitations of humanity, they go a little overboard: the lips, the curves, the smoldering glance. Like, nice try, alien race, but let's get real.
Not noodle, mind you. Potato. Noodle kugel makes me sad, in it's non-potatoness.
And it's funny, I liked the way Angelina was portrayed in Foxfire, which was the first thing I saw her in. It was almost like she was sexy in a male way, given this beautiful stranger appeal as the drifter who comes into town, you just see her boots first.
Ogged, given the rest of the note – "Even just the taste of the limb of a live animal is forbidden to Jews and non-Jews alike; therefore, you may not even give the milk to a non-Jew" – it seems ambiguous at best.
"Tits and Mullets"? Are you all mad? Tits, yes, mullets, never! That innocent children might stumble across a website featuring mullets is too horrifying to bear thinking of...
Re: 60: That's impressive. And frightening. I reiterate my objections to letting small children come into contact with such things. Even this version. It can only lead to debauchery and sedition and Barry Manilow songs. And that way leads to ruin.
And still we watch.
Well, not me, of course, or you, for that matter, but the collective "we," meaning those of us who do watch, the umm, hoi polloi.
Yeah.
Those people.
Watch.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 3:09 PM
Is there a bit of tension involved in wanting to read this because Dana Stevens is hottt?
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 3:12 PM
Brad Pitt is very attractive, but he is not in the same league as Angelina Jolie. (Not responsive to any issue raised by your post, but it needed to be noted.)
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 3:12 PM
Angelina Jolie vs. bottled water.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 3:13 PM
Smart money is on hamentaschen.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 3:15 PM
LATKES
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 3:15 PM
I find your argument unpersuasive.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 3:18 PM
I once had a very sketchy sketch of an argument for the superiority of latkes to hamentaschen, that, if fleshed out, would have been suitable for presentation at a Latke-Hamentaschen symposium. I mostly remember now that I intended on analogizing latkes to the sun in Plato's cave, possibly on the basis of their being (ideally) circular.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 3:24 PM
Tripp, say it with me now:
LEFSE
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 3:28 PM
analogizing latkes to the sun in Plato's cave, possibly on the basis of their being (ideally) circular.
The Deeper Meaning of Hamentaschen
"Among the most distinctive features of the Purim festivities are the special pastries known in Hebrew as 'oznei Haman,' literally 'ears of Haman.' We may ask why particularly this body part was chosen -- the triangular shape of these cakes could just as easily correspond to Haman's nose."
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 3:33 PM
Or a tricorner hat.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 3:47 PM
Is there a bit of tension involved in wanting to read this because Dana Stevens is hottt?
Dana Stevens is hot in part because we like to read her. Does that help?
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 3:48 PM
Remedial Sukkot:
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 3:52 PM
12: I think that solves it completely. Damn.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 3:56 PM
he is not in the same league as Angelina Jolie
Seriously, though, who is? Maybe Sophia Loren in her prime?
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 4:03 PM
Nobody is. I like this from the fametracker piece.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 4:05 PM
Salma Hayek?
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 4:23 PM
Not even close.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 4:25 PM
Conventionally attractive, yes. But hotness verging on alien transcendence? Seriously?
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 4:28 PM
I realize it doesn't form as pleasing a shape as hamentaschen or latkes, but I love potato kugel.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 4:37 PM
Mmm, kugel.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 4:40 PM
Not noodle, mind you. Potato. Noodle kugel makes me sad, in it's non-potatoness.
And it's funny, I liked the way Angelina was portrayed in Foxfire, which was the first thing I saw her in. It was almost like she was sexy in a male way, given this beautiful stranger appeal as the drifter who comes into town, you just see her boots first.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 4:42 PM
Gotta be kugel 'cause kasha don't shake like that.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 4:51 PM
I liked the way she was portrayed in Gia, personally. And also in everything else.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 4:51 PM
the way she was portrayed in Gia
To wit, naked.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 5:16 PM
Ben, that sounds like something a hasidic rapper would say.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 5:17 PM
To wit, naked.
Naked and clinging to a fence, right?
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 5:18 PM
Oh, waiter—
What, the dead bird wouldn't discourage you? You have to ask?Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 5:22 PM
Is that a bad thing?
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 5:22 PM
I love hasidic rappers.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 5:27 PM
SB, they mean the pot itself, not whatever's cooking in it at the time.
This I did not know:
Food cooked by a non-Jew (bishul akum) is forbidden.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 5:29 PM
Is that a bad thing?
… asks the inventor of boulfson, the only liquor distilled from pickled finches.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 5:31 PM
Ogged, given the rest of the note – "Even just the taste of the limb of a live animal is forbidden to Jews and non-Jews alike; therefore, you may not even give the milk to a non-Jew" – it seems ambiguous at best.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 5:33 PM
Standpipe Quicktake, given the rest of the rest -- "The pot must be kashered." -- it's not so ambiguous.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 5:35 PM
"How can I kasher a non-kosher dishwasher?"
That is a beautiful sentence.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 5:41 PM
Seriously, how is it that I am the one suspected of commenting drunk around here?
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 7:19 PM
I'm drunk right now. Started with a La Crema Pinot Noir and now am well into a Peter Lehmann Cabernet.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 7:37 PM
Show us your tits!
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 7:40 PM
Here's mine.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 7:42 PM
Moses supposes his knishes are kosher.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 7:47 PM
No tits. Radio.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 7:48 PM
Is that particular supposition by Moses erroneous?
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 8:24 PM
His odds have to be better on the knishes than on the toeses.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 8:26 PM
Show us your tits!
Okay, but only one. I'm not a whore.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 8:45 PM
Hold on, is that a top-secret Mormon undergarment?
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 8:56 PM
Ok, I'm dying here. Did you just take that?
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 9:09 PM
Just for you, Ogged.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 9:17 PM
I am forever in your debt.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 9:19 PM
So, Standpipe, I'm curious: are you now or have you ever been affiliated with the U of Chicago? I ask because of your reference to hamentaschen.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 9:21 PM
Standpipe Bridgeplate is Richard Posner. Or Martha Nussbaum.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 9:23 PM
Milton Friedman. Or Katherine Graham's ghost.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 9:31 PM
I am, in fact, a clever ruse that ogged devised to keep people from pondering too deeply his own secret identity.
I am Standpipicus.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 9:39 PM
Standpipe is dead! Long live Standpipe!
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 9:46 PM
Hey, how drunk are you apostropher? Show us your wife's tits!
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 9:50 PM
Standpipe is dead! Long live Standpipe!
Shit! We need a new violist.
Posted by The Papa Dinglebird Septet | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 9:53 PM
I predict that photo will make you famous, Apos.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 10:07 PM
The ante has been upped, profgrrrrl.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 10:19 PM
Ogged,
I have a clever plan for you:
1. Photoshop the head from that "sweet mullet yo" photo of apostropher from back in the day onto the new "apostropher's right tit" picture.
2. Start a new "Tits and Mullets" website (you can even use the same format as for the Heidegger reading group).
3. Profit!
Posted by Mitch Mills | Link to this comment | 06- 8-05 10:36 PM
"Tits and Mullets"? Are you all mad? Tits, yes, mullets, never! That innocent children might stumble across a website featuring mullets is too horrifying to bear thinking of...
Posted by DominEditrix | Link to this comment | 06- 9-05 3:08 AM
But DE, this was no ordinary mullet.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 9-05 5:46 AM
Good heavens. That's certainly a mullet, all right.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 9-05 7:47 AM
Behold the Gorgonstropher! A latter-day medusa, none could look upon him and not turn to hair.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 9-05 8:12 AM
That is indeed quite the mullet. I had one as well. Hair to my shoulderblades, with a flattop on top.
In my defense, it was South Dakota in 1989, and I was listening to a lot of Iron Maiden.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 06- 9-05 8:14 AM
The mullet with a tie is a relatively unexplored combo.
Posted by joe o | Link to this comment | 06- 9-05 10:17 AM
Re: 60: That's impressive. And frightening. I reiterate my objections to letting small children come into contact with such things. Even this version. It can only lead to debauchery and sedition and Barry Manilow songs. And that way leads to ruin.
Posted by DominEditrix | Link to this comment | 06- 9-05 12:41 PM
Iron Maiden leads to mullets. Mullets lead to Barry Manilow. Barry Manilow leads to suffering...
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 06- 9-05 12:50 PM
Oh Mullet
You just grew and you gave without taking
But I cut you away
Oh Mullet...
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 06- 9-05 1:08 PM
I grew the hair that made the whole world laugh.
I grew the hair that clogged the drain in the bath.
I grew the hair that made the crew here gasp.
I grew the hair, I grew the hair.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 9-05 1:21 PM
Yet another way to leave your lover:
Show your mullet photos to her, apostropher.
Posted by Mitch Mills | Link to this comment | 06- 9-05 11:08 PM