Bend over until the cold shower hits you directly in the rutabaga, then huff in shocked delight.
I don't know if that actually counts an in joke. It could be that I'm the slightly slow guy who wanders around telling the one joke of his that people actually laughed at, over and over. And over.
I recall watching a play, can't remember by whom, wherein the main character lashes out at a woman in a fury of pejoration, calling her "Strumpet! Strumpet! Strumpet!" ad nauseam. Now, "strumpet" is a silly word, and silly words are to me like mental pop-rocks. So instead of reacting in sympathy to whichever character was being grievously wronged, I started chuckling to myself uncontrollably. Very inappropriate.
Oh yeah, this is the rutabaga thread. Almost forgot.
Now, as to ogged's suggestion that we date, I'm afraid it just wouldn't work. Unless he changed his mind, and is now into squeaky, big-butted, despondent Russians.
I'm proceeding cautiously. After all, you started pursuing me only after Mitch dubbed me "Strumpet". One might be forgiven for wondering whether your intentions are honorable.
Weirdo! Anyway, I thought we were talking about Reznorcal Trent, not Hedgical Trevor. Not that HT makes a "penile sound", or that such a sound exists outside of Wayne's World and the pants of its imitators. If you know otherwise, Ben, please don't tell us how.
Mmm, colinabo. Es rapido?
Ciertamente. Es un colinabo grande "V6", zoom zoom.
Say, that reminds me: you know who I hate? I mean really, really hate?? That little kid who says "zoom zoom" in that car commercial (I have no idea which car is being advertised). And then to make it worse they go into some astoundingly crappy faux-reggae song, with "zoom" as the primary lyric, interspersed with a few perfunctory "ohs" and "yeahs".
Everyone involved with the making of that commercial should be pelted with rutabagas (that was a common punishment in China).
Well, thanks to the car commercial mention I have the Zoom Zoom song stuck in my head as well as an even more irritating ad--here where the Evil TW Empire rules the airwaves we've got one for beepbeep.com. Worse. Commercial. Ever. *shudders* Now they're playing in my head. Simultaneously.
Perhaps I can use the rutabaga as a bludgeoning device.
Why it is nothing. Based on somebody's recommendation here (who the devil was it?) I bought the two "New Pornagraphers" CDs. Terrible name, good music, but now I have the lyrics "Visualize success" stuck in my head.
I think tonight I shall have a nightmare about my cordless Makita, outfitted with a doorknob saw and a propeller, chasing me through a pool, in the dark.
I know we're supposed to be talking about swimming or rapid rutabagas or whatever, Chopper's 61 has me thinking about dreams. Often I've heard people say, as if it were received wisdom, that hearing about other people's dreams is boring. But I often find other people's dreams fascinating, much more so than my own. Is this true for anyone else?
Butoh! I have a big coffee table book full of pictures of Butoh dancers. A couple of years back, it totally freaked my older son out. Gave him nightmares.
Keep it up. They're checking my references today and tomorrow. One of my references has called already to tell me that the HR rep who called her was raving about what a strong candidate I am.
Plus I now have an interview for a different job (at the company I currently work for) set up for next Friday. Jeez--when it rains, it pours.
I'm the same way, but still usually find other people's dreams boring--odd, because I typically find even trivial details about people's lives fascinating.
Agreed. This is in fact the case for the examples I had in mind. I do have an affinity for the surreal, though, and I can see why it isn't for everyone.
Say, where's Matt been today? Zach's got a post up about the great-great-granddaughter of Otto von Bismarck marrying Maximilian Weiner.
"Simultaneously sissy, haughty, antiquated, and vulgar. Striking. No surprise that he's in the film industry, though with a name like Max Weiner* I'd expect him to be in front of the camera."
I'm sure going to miss her.
And I'm going to miss your stories about her. Here's to the Swede!
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 6-05 8:49 PM
Hey – live in the UK? Need a new Swede? Grow your own.
Brassica napus napobrassica!
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 6-05 8:52 PM
You say swede, I say rutabaga.
Posted by Mitch Mills | Link to this comment | 06- 6-05 8:57 PM
The fastest rutabaga in the pool.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 6-05 9:00 PM
Rutabaga – at the Mineshaft.
Fuck to rutabaga.
[17 other elided]
Non-rutabaga blogcrush.
Rutabaga? I hardly know her.
Nope. Not a single in-joke works with rutabaga.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 6-05 9:03 PM
There was "rooting for hurricanes." It will take some work, but it's in there somewhere.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 6-05 9:08 PM
Bend over until the cold shower hits you directly in the rutabaga, then huff in shocked delight.
I don't know if that actually counts an in joke. It could be that I'm the slightly slow guy who wanders around telling the one joke of his that people actually laughed at, over and over. And over.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 06- 6-05 9:11 PM
Wolfson is a serial rutabaga.
Matt Rutabaga's name reads like the name of a common foodstuff, somewhat suggestively shaped, but actually pronounced quite differently.
I'm trying. It ain't working.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 06- 6-05 9:13 PM
Did I ever tell you about the rutabagas over in China?
Posted by Mitch Mills | Link to this comment | 06- 6-05 9:14 PM
Hey, Happy National Rutabaga Month everyone!
Posted by Mitch Mills | Link to this comment | 06- 6-05 9:18 PM
You were in China? When?
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 6-05 9:21 PM
Stop toying with me, you silly-named strumpet.
Posted by Mitch Mills | Link to this comment | 06- 6-05 9:22 PM
Strumpet? Standpipe? Is that what it means? Let's date!
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 6-05 9:27 PM
Just be forewarned, ogg, SB is a very freaky strumpet (the kind you don't bring home to mother).
Posted by Mitch Mills | Link to this comment | 06- 6-05 9:34 PM
I recall watching a play, can't remember by whom, wherein the main character lashes out at a woman in a fury of pejoration, calling her "Strumpet! Strumpet! Strumpet!" ad nauseam. Now, "strumpet" is a silly word, and silly words are to me like mental pop-rocks. So instead of reacting in sympathy to whichever character was being grievously wronged, I started chuckling to myself uncontrollably. Very inappropriate.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 6-05 9:37 PM
Inappropriate, yes, but also freaky.
Yeeeaah.
Hey hey HEY!
Posted by Mitch Mills | Link to this comment | 06- 6-05 9:41 PM
Let's date!
Hilarious. I'm imagining a PG-rated Trent Reznor singing, "I wanna date you like an animal".
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 6-05 9:48 PM
"I wanna date you like an animal".
How about "like a rutabaga"?
Posted by Mitch Mills | Link to this comment | 06- 6-05 9:49 PM
Oh yeah, this is the rutabaga thread. Almost forgot.
Now, as to ogged's suggestion that we date, I'm afraid it just wouldn't work. Unless he changed his mind, and is now into squeaky, big-butted, despondent Russians.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 6-05 10:13 PM
Having your own museum goes a long way.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 6-05 10:16 PM
Oh, I see. And you would like to, how do you say, curate my museum?
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 6-05 10:23 PM
That sounds dirty. I thought I'd just browse, being very careful not to touch anything.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 6-05 10:27 PM
Does my pseudonym make me look fat? Sometimes I wish I had adopted a svelter one, like "Lithely Tautness".
If we're going to date, these are the kinds of questions you'll have to put up with.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 6-05 10:36 PM
I can see you're trying to put me off, but that question made me laugh out loud. People will say, "We were all wondering what took them so long."
Sveltering Nooner?
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 6-05 10:41 PM
By "these", I mean the one I mentioned.
Text and Standpipe: synchronous, erroneous.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 6-05 10:44 PM
Sveltering Nooner?
Soy Calor.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 6-05 10:53 PM
Tenga Una Pregunta?
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 6-05 10:57 PM
I can see you're trying to put me off
I'm proceeding cautiously. After all, you started pursuing me only after Mitch dubbed me "Strumpet". One might be forgiven for wondering whether your intentions are honorable.
Tenga Una Pregunta?
Si. Quieres un colinabo?
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 6-05 11:03 PM
Hilarious. I'm imagining a PG-rated Trent Reznor singing, "I wanna date you like an animal".
"I wanna feel you from the inside" = hedgehog-quill penile sound.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 06- 6-05 11:09 PM
I'm one of those guys that will just want to talk, and put you on the path of righteousness.
Quieres un colinabo?
Mmm, colinabo. Es rapido?
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 6-05 11:11 PM
Is this a new level of homoeroticism? Has Ogged left the closet? I could swear I've seen SB referred to by pronouns which imply wangedness.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 06- 6-05 11:31 PM
hedgehog-quill penile sound
Weirdo! Anyway, I thought we were talking about Reznorcal Trent, not Hedgical Trevor. Not that HT makes a "penile sound", or that such a sound exists outside of Wayne's World and the pants of its imitators. If you know otherwise, Ben, please don't tell us how.
Mmm, colinabo. Es rapido?
Ciertamente. Es un colinabo grande "V6", zoom zoom.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 6-05 11:45 PM
Say, that reminds me: you know who I hate? I mean really, really hate?? That little kid who says "zoom zoom" in that car commercial (I have no idea which car is being advertised). And then to make it worse they go into some astoundingly crappy faux-reggae song, with "zoom" as the primary lyric, interspersed with a few perfunctory "ohs" and "yeahs".
Everyone involved with the making of that commercial should be pelted with rutabagas (that was a common punishment in China).
Yeeeaah.
Hey hey HEY!
Posted by Mitch Mills | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 5:43 AM
I'm one of those guys that will just want to talk, and put you on the path of righteousness.
That's no fun at all.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 6:38 AM
Also, I object to the continuing presumption of my strumpetude. I am not a strumpet: I am unstrumpalicious.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 6:49 AM
I hate [...] that little kid who says "zoom zoom"
You are not alone.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 7:02 AM
Well, thanks to the car commercial mention I have the Zoom Zoom song stuck in my head as well as an even more irritating ad--here where the Evil TW Empire rules the airwaves we've got one for beepbeep.com. Worse. Commercial. Ever. *shudders* Now they're playing in my head. Simultaneously.
Perhaps I can use the rutabaga as a bludgeoning device.
Posted by Karyn | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 9:37 AM
Karyn,
"It's a small world after all.
It's a small world after all.
It's a small world after all.
It's a small, small world."
Glad to be of service. Call anytime.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 9:47 AM
Anyone here remember the "Yingtong Song" from the Goons?... Now that is annoying.
Posted by Austro | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 9:52 AM
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves
Everybody's nerves
Everybody's nerves
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves
And this is how it goes
Posted by Alternate pseudonym | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 9:56 AM
This is the song that ends.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 9:59 AM
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves
Everybody's nerves
Everybody's nerves
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves
And this is how it goes
Posted by Alternate Pseudonym | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 10:00 AM
Tripp, you're too kind
Posted by Karyn | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 11:22 AM
Alt. Pseud.: The version I know goes
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves
I would say 'etc.', but in fact it is rare that I get through three lines without someone screaming, let alone >5.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 11:55 AM
Karyn,
Tripp, you're too kind
Why it is nothing. Based on somebody's recommendation here (who the devil was it?) I bought the two "New Pornagraphers" CDs. Terrible name, good music, but now I have the lyrics "Visualize success" stuck in my head.
Posted by Anonymous | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 1:12 PM
Tripp,
It's time to admit you have a problem. Severe cache dysmorphia. We can help.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 1:14 PM
Premature decacheulation.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 1:18 PM
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves
The old Monty Python song that goes:
Here comes another one
Here it comes again
Here comes another one
When will it ever end
ad infinitum works by the second iteration with just about everyone I've used it on.
Posted by Anonymous | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 1:50 PM
Terrible name, good music
How is it a terrible name? It's a Warhol(?) quote: "Music is the new pornography."
Posted by Anonymous | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 1:51 PM
Sorry. Last two were me. I just switched to FF at work.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 1:52 PM
There's a Peter Blegvad song called "The Only Song" that goes:
Imagine a world where this was the only song
& against your will
You had to sit & listen to it all day long
Until it made you ill
Until it made you ill
For about six minutes.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 1:54 PM
And of course...
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 1:56 PM
Oh nameless one,
How is it (The New Pornagraphers) a terrible name?
It is a terrible name because I bought the CDs and then spent all afternoon looking for a goddamn pornagraph to play them on!
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 2:29 PM
looking for a goddamn pornagraph
Well, no wonder. You need a pornograph to play the New Pornographers.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 2:33 PM
Gentlemen, the topic is difficult swimming drills. Thank you.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 2:35 PM
I thought I banned you already.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 2:36 PM
My bad. Carry on.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 2:37 PM
Swimming drills would be a lot easier if you had SCUBA tanks.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 2:37 PM
No, they certainly wouldn't.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 2:38 PM
SCUBA is a lot easier without tanks.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 2:39 PM
I think tonight I shall have a nightmare about my cordless Makita, outfitted with a doorknob saw and a propeller, chasing me through a pool, in the dark.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 2:40 PM
That's not what I meant, ogged.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 2:41 PM
apostropher, do you have google memorized?
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 2:41 PM
Google is for pussies. I have the internet memorized.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 2:42 PM
Man, Chops, are you lucky these boys and girls are philosophers. You want to be very careful with posts like that....
Still ommming on the telephone calls.
Posted by Austro | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 2:43 PM
I knew it had to be something like that, apo.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 2:44 PM
I know we're supposed to be talking about swimming or rapid rutabagas or whatever, Chopper's 61 has me thinking about dreams. Often I've heard people say, as if it were received wisdom, that hearing about other people's dreams is boring. But I often find other people's dreams fascinating, much more so than my own. Is this true for anyone else?
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 2:48 PM
Only if the person is a good storyteller.
The descriptions of dreams this guy posts are amazing.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 2:50 PM
I almost never remember my dreams - maybe one every couple of months - so others' dreams are almost always more interesting.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 2:50 PM
Wolfson,
Butoh! I have a big coffee table book full of pictures of Butoh dancers. A couple of years back, it totally freaked my older son out. Gave him nightmares.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 2:52 PM
Still ommming on the telephone calls.
Keep it up. They're checking my references today and tomorrow. One of my references has called already to tell me that the HR rep who called her was raving about what a strong candidate I am.
Plus I now have an interview for a different job (at the company I currently work for) set up for next Friday. Jeez--when it rains, it pours.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 2:53 PM
I confess to being fascinated by my childrens' dreams. That is not as twee as it sounds.
Posted by Austro | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 2:53 PM
I almost never remember my dreams
I'm the same way, but still usually find other people's dreams boring--odd, because I typically find even trivial details about people's lives fascinating.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 2:54 PM
Dreams. Can't claim to have read them all.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 2:54 PM
Your kids want to kill you, Austro; best not to pay too much attention to those dreams.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 2:54 PM
Not yet they don't. but we're getting there. Besides, its the best early warning system I have.
Posted by Austro | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 2:55 PM
Only if the person is a good storyteller.
Agreed. This is in fact the case for the examples I had in mind. I do have an affinity for the surreal, though, and I can see why it isn't for everyone.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 2:57 PM
I was ashamed to admit at the time that I was Superman, complete with outfit.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 3:00 PM
Say, where's Matt been today? Zach's got a post up about the great-great-granddaughter of Otto von Bismarck marrying Maximilian Weiner.
"Simultaneously sissy, haughty, antiquated, and vulgar. Striking. No surprise that he's in the film industry, though with a name like Max Weiner* I'd expect him to be in front of the camera."
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 7-05 3:04 PM