Chill. All you need is "I liked your profile", or if that's too much of a commitment for you: "Your [Dating Service] profile." The subject line doesn't have to be clever.
LB, I know it's your birthday, but I am not using the "I liked your profile" subject line. And don't you know that you're not supposed to tell someone who's unchill to chill?
I haven't gone through with it yet, w/d, and if this subject line requirement isn't resolved to my satisfaction, might not yet.
You know, it occurs to me that we have the makings of a fairly good blog game here. If ogged's e-mailing her, he has joined some service and intends to redirect her to his profile. So why aren't we playing "Find ogged"? Shouldn't we be e-mailing ogged with our best guesses, and then shouldn't he be posting links to the funniest pictures of our best guesses? All we really know is that ogged is Iranian, girlish, and 6' tall. And we roughly know his age. We don't even know what site he's looking at. Really, the possibilities are limitless.
(NB: Obviously, no one who has met ogged could play, as that would be cheating.)
Timbot, do you really think I'd make my profile public? It's hidden to all save those that I contact through the service. (Yes, I'm a free rider.) I might be desperate, but I'm not insane.
Some of the salon personals show up on google, but not the one's ogged linked below, apparently. And the unstoppable cook and the punch in the face sense of humor are not on google either.
Can you do that? That seems very anti-humor. And women like the funny.
Anyway, yours is solely a single step in the arms race. You hide your profile, we craft fake personals to lure you in to responding to them. Indeed, you've now rather restricted the size of the pool in which we will fish. Silly Shi'a.
In any case, it would be up to you to post any links, so there'd be no chance that we'd blow your anonymity. (I'm not, after all, Wolfson.)
"I am a blonde Swedish Olympian. I am looking for a slender, well-educated Iranian, Armenian, or Assyrian about 6' tall, preferably with a sadistic sense of humor and not too much of the earnestness of which my country has such an oversupply.
It would be a big plus if he is an America-hating leftist who has chosen to ally himself with neo-Nazis and Jew-haters.
Only a few weeks ago I had an enormous crush on a swimming student I had of that description, but I was unable to break down his traditional Assyrian reserve, and now I languish."
Rachel Wacholder (including her ass) is an advertiser on TPM which has a 20-year TOS-based plan to destroy the Internet and has not yet denied links with neo-Nazi and anti-Jew sites. This is all coming together.
Holy crap - am suddenly impelled to write comment giving Ogged encouragement in this endeavor to find love and/or companionship via IP address.
Sack up, lad!
You can do it!
My god, sometimes it hits me how hard it must be, sometimes, to be a guy. As opposed to my community, where it's hard when you're being a guy some times. Hey-O! (BTW, finding it odd that I'm the first in this comment thread to start with the cock comments. Come on, people.)
Tell me you at least mentioned your genitals. First impressions are important.
Posted by Tarrou | Link to this comment | 08-10-05 5:19 PM
Hey, my leftist, anti-american friends please note that I have switched to a new online company so please add this IP address to your banned thingy.
With that said, my two favorite blogs are
BelmontClub
http://fallbackbelmont.blogspot.com/
and
AmericanFuture
http://americanfuture.typepad.com/american_future/
Vey
:(
Posted by ABC123-456 | Link to this comment | 08-10-05 5:47 PM
Thanks abc, done.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-10-05 5:49 PM
Subject line:
"I liked your profile on [Dating Service]"
That bit really shouldn't be difficult.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-10-05 5:52 PM
Make subtle changes so she can't Google it.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-10-05 5:52 PM
Not "My Tivo says I haven't had sex in 540 days?"
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-10-05 5:54 PM
Not unless you're interested in meeting someone who thinks her teeth are spying on her.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-10-05 5:55 PM
This is killing me. I'm just trying to get over my anger at having to do this when I thought I was finished.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-10-05 5:58 PM
Subject Line: "Long Time Stalker/First Time Emailer". There, you're good to go.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 08-10-05 6:00 PM
Did anyone believe Ogged when he said there was only a 30% chance of actually going through with this?
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 08-10-05 6:02 PM
Chill. All you need is "I liked your profile", or if that's too much of a commitment for you: "Your [Dating Service] profile." The subject line doesn't have to be clever.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-10-05 6:02 PM
LB, I know it's your birthday, but I am not using the "I liked your profile" subject line. And don't you know that you're not supposed to tell someone who's unchill to chill?
I haven't gone through with it yet, w/d, and if this subject line requirement isn't resolved to my satisfaction, might not yet.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-10-05 6:04 PM
Thank you.
Now I can focus on trolling neo-Nazi and anti Jew sites.
Funny how the left has allied with them? Not at all.
Posted by ABC123-456 | Link to this comment | 08-10-05 6:05 PM
I've got it!!
6 past the hour.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-10-05 6:06 PM
Enigmatic, but if it works for you I guess it should do.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-10-05 6:08 PM
You know, it occurs to me that we have the makings of a fairly good blog game here. If ogged's e-mailing her, he has joined some service and intends to redirect her to his profile. So why aren't we playing "Find ogged"? Shouldn't we be e-mailing ogged with our best guesses, and then shouldn't he be posting links to the funniest pictures of our best guesses? All we really know is that ogged is Iranian, girlish, and 6' tall. And we roughly know his age. We don't even know what site he's looking at. Really, the possibilities are limitless.
(NB: Obviously, no one who has met ogged could play, as that would be cheating.)
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 08-10-05 6:08 PM
Timbot, do you really think I'd make my profile public? It's hidden to all save those that I contact through the service. (Yes, I'm a free rider.) I might be desperate, but I'm not insane.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-10-05 6:13 PM
Some of the salon personals show up on google, but not the one's ogged linked below, apparently. And the unstoppable cook and the punch in the face sense of humor are not on google either.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 08-10-05 6:16 PM
Can you do that? That seems very anti-humor. And women like the funny.
Anyway, yours is solely a single step in the arms race. You hide your profile, we craft fake personals to lure you in to responding to them. Indeed, you've now rather restricted the size of the pool in which we will fish. Silly Shi'a.
In any case, it would be up to you to post any links, so there'd be no chance that we'd blow your anonymity. (I'm not, after all, Wolfson.)
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 08-10-05 6:18 PM
I have no idea why there's an apostrophe in "one's" in my comment above.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 08-10-05 6:27 PM
"I am a blonde Swedish Olympian. I am looking for a slender, well-educated Iranian, Armenian, or Assyrian about 6' tall, preferably with a sadistic sense of humor and not too much of the earnestness of which my country has such an oversupply.
It would be a big plus if he is an America-hating leftist who has chosen to ally himself with neo-Nazis and Jew-haters.
Only a few weeks ago I had an enormous crush on a swimming student I had of that description, but I was unable to break down his traditional Assyrian reserve, and now I languish."
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-10-05 6:44 PM
[redacted]
Posted by [redacted] | Link to this comment | 08-10-05 8:47 PM
And the assembled multitude wonders: how did she get the original email?
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-10-05 8:48 PM
That's wrong in several particulars, the nature of which I cannot discuss.
Also, this.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-10-05 8:49 PM
"Well-educated" is a relative term, ogged, and love is blind. I'm sure that a perfunctory pretence of Naziism would also be enough.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-10-05 8:58 PM
[redacted]
Posted by [redacted] | Link to this comment | 08-10-05 9:00 PM
Rachel Wacholder (including her ass) is an advertiser on TPM which has a 20-year TOS-based plan to destroy the Internet and has not yet denied links with neo-Nazi and anti-Jew sites. This is all coming together.
Posted by joe o | Link to this comment | 08-10-05 10:03 PM
Now I'm just missing a name for myself on the site
This explains why my attempts to locate your ad were in vain!
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 08-10-05 10:37 PM
Timbot, do you really think I'd make my profile public? It's hidden to all save those that I contact through the service.
This also explains it. Next item of business: craft fake personal ad in ogged's area such that he won't be able to resist answering it.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 08-10-05 10:40 PM
Holy crap - am suddenly impelled to write comment giving Ogged encouragement in this endeavor to find love and/or companionship via IP address.
Sack up, lad!
You can do it!
My god, sometimes it hits me how hard it must be, sometimes, to be a guy. As opposed to my community, where it's hard when you're being a guy some times. Hey-O! (BTW, finding it odd that I'm the first in this comment thread to start with the cock comments. Come on, people.)
Posted by moira | Link to this comment | 08-10-05 11:38 PM
(BTW, finding it odd that I'm the first in this comment thread to start with the cock comments. Come on, people.)
There is a time for humor but pursuit of love comes first.
As for a name - I suppose you've already got it, but for the future may I suggest:
Joe Gibbons - generic fake name used for generations. I don't know how it started. Might even be somebody's real name.
Major Talon - tough
Soulgem - sensitive
Boise Galdiator - no comment
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 08-11-05 7:39 AM
Wolfson, see ##19, 21, and 22. Our plan is well under way.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 08-11-05 7:49 AM
Thanks guys, because this is just too easy otherwise. I admit that I'll be amused if you sucker me into responding to a fake ad.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-11-05 10:05 AM
Labs' 22: The man of my dreams emailed me, but, because we do not have, how you say, computers where I live, I did not write back.
Then how did you receive an email, Fake Internet Lady?
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 08-11-05 10:09 AM
B-wo, did you not read 23?
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 08-11-05 10:10 AM
Wolfson simply personifies the multitude.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-11-05 10:12 AM
Some primitive nations have one-way internets, like one-way pay phones, so people don't email their cocaine dealers. It's an aspect of hegemony.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-11-05 10:13 AM
B-wo, did you not read 23?
That would be a pretty good inference.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 08-11-05 10:20 AM
So it seems that the subject line was "Fuck a duck"? This gives insight into what it takes to be one of Ogged's people.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 08-11-05 10:25 AM
Is 30 supposed to make me forget that Moira has totally ignored my several marriage proposals?
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-11-05 11:39 AM
Or maybe "8 1/2" of Hot Throbbing Gristle".
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-11-05 11:44 AM