what the heck is a "semi-original" painting by matise and miro? Did they collaborate? Does "semi-original" mean that he bought the posters at the actual museum that the paintings are on display at?
And for that matter, who the hell is matise? I've certainly heard of Henri Matisse, but if you're going to be this pretentious in an online personal, shouldn't you at least spell-check your material?
I got accused of being a pushover the last time personal-ad-mocking was happening, just because I was willing to cut someone slack for being a bad writer. For the record, this guy is an incredible loser. The 'best lie' particularly: that's the most interesting thing he could come up with?
I understand why someone might not feel comfortable letting only one book speak for them, or how listing multiple books significantly increases the odds of making a "connection" with the reader, however, since the category clearly states last great book I read, listing seven books, I think, removes any need you may feel to point out that you read a bit .
Ogged really has our interests at heart. But contacting another woman would give us even more comment fodder! Do it for the boys (and girls) at the Mineshaft, Ogged!
Should leave it at that, but Apo deserves congrats again for pointing out that ogged's sexuality is, at least, open to question. I don't know what British TV you get over there, but I think I'm going to start referring to ogged as Daffyd.
snees, if you could tear yourself away from not getting dates with my favorite British columnist, you'd know that actual pictures of Wolfson have been posted here....
Ogged is right. The men's ads are far more entertaining. Check this one out:
Just got out of prison, and I'm desparate. Living in a half-way house now. You're probably wondering what I did, right? Well, that sounds more like date conversation to me, but just as a teaser, here's a hint, "triple homicide". Prison is not as cool as it sounds, though. I don't want to lead you on. It was tough going there for awhile. I was rolling with the skinheads for protection, but once they found out I was Jewish -- they just didn't get the "cultural" vs. "religious" jew distinction I was trying to make -- boy was I beaten and sodomized. After bouncing in and out of cliques like that for awhile, I tried to start up a gang of my own, searching out liberal, New York Jews, with the catchy title, "The Effete Squad" but we were broken up by the warden for excessive sarcasm. I was put in the hole for 5 months. It wasn't until I found Islam that things started looking up. But once my mom found out, the constant nagging was just to much for me. Thank mom, back to the beatings and the sodomy for me, but as long as you're happy. Anyway, it's great to be "out on the street again," but it feels like I have to learn everything over again. Like where can I score some decent heroin? And things like that.
Wow. It just keeps going and going, doesn't it? It starts with irritating content, then adds in irritating stylistic touches, and finally collapses into bare, petulant arrogance. Which is also annoying, but shorter. Practically every sentence attains a new plateau of toolishness. If this was done intentionally, it's a masterpiece.
Yeah, I also think deliberate and well done, but unlikely to attract women. Unlikely that it was intended for that purporse, either. "My PO is such a jerk"? I'm thinking Bizarro Labs writing an ad for alternate universe (Jewish) Ogged.
The most interesting part is the loophole whereby he gets out at 18 with no criminal record. Apparently, it took the some fancy work on the part of the federal prosecutors to extend his sentence to 21. Amazing.
Jesus, Matt Weiner, are you reading over my shoulder? I swear, I'm right in the middle of Right Ho, Jeeves, and immediately recognized the quote. Cut that out!
Right you are, LB. I saw one last week where the cashiers at a convenience store/gas station were acting like real estate agents, and asking how much customers might be willing to spend on a liter of gas. why do our largest purchases involve the biggest amount of bullshit, anyway?
what the heck is a "semi-original" painting by matise and miro? Did they collaborate? Does "semi-original" mean that he bought the posters at the actual museum that the paintings are on display at?
And for that matter, who the hell is matise? I've certainly heard of Henri Matisse, but if you're going to be this pretentious in an online personal, shouldn't you at least spell-check your material?
Posted by sam | Link to this comment | 08-22-05 3:10 PM
it's funny, I was going to ask the exact same question ("What's a "semi-original"?").
Posted by mike d | Link to this comment | 08-22-05 3:11 PM
"The Illusion of Conscious Will" is a good book though.
Posted by Joe O | Link to this comment | 08-22-05 3:17 PM
I got accused of being a pushover the last time personal-ad-mocking was happening, just because I was willing to cut someone slack for being a bad writer. For the record, this guy is an incredible loser. The 'best lie' particularly: that's the most interesting thing he could come up with?
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-22-05 3:21 PM
The Wheel of Time series is a great book?
Say no more...
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 08-22-05 3:29 PM
"callipygian", though, is a great word.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 08-22-05 3:31 PM
I understand why someone might not feel comfortable letting only one book speak for them, or how listing multiple books significantly increases the odds of making a "connection" with the reader, however, since the category clearly states last great book I read, listing seven books, I think, removes any need you may feel to point out that you read a bit .
Posted by Sam K | Link to this comment | 08-22-05 3:36 PM
Oh damn, that's the title of this post.
I suck. Damn.
Posted by Sam K | Link to this comment | 08-22-05 3:36 PM
So, any response to your ad, ogged?
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 08-22-05 3:40 PM
The Wheel of Time series . Voted off the island.
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 08-22-05 3:41 PM
eb, the ad isn't publically viewable. I contacted one woman, who immediately became a Swedish citizen.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-22-05 3:41 PM
IIRC you can't actually see Ogged's ad unless he lets you look at it. That way he has an excuse for the lack of response.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 08-22-05 3:42 PM
"publically." Ogged, ogged, ogged.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 08-22-05 3:43 PM
I was assuming a response to the e-mail would be a response to the ad, too.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 08-22-05 3:43 PM
Yes, Matt?
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-22-05 3:45 PM
I'm not an army of one, you know.
Ok ok...
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-22-05 3:47 PM
"Publically" really bugs me, for some reason. Enough to violate the no-first-strike rule.
Do you think you'll contact another woman sometime, or are you a bird who, having failed to score in the first chukker, will turn the whole thing up and spend the rest of your life brooding over your newts?
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 08-22-05 3:57 PM
Bad HTML day. Sorry.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 08-22-05 3:58 PM
I'll contact any woman who strikes my fancy, which is to say, maybe.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-22-05 4:00 PM
So Ogged, judging from what you post, I get the feeling you spend a lot more time browsing men's ads than women's. Maybe that's part of the problem.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-22-05 4:04 PM
The men are far more entertaining.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-22-05 4:06 PM
Ogged really has our interests at heart. But contacting another woman would give us even more comment fodder! Do it for the boys (and girls) at the Mineshaft, Ogged!
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 08-22-05 4:10 PM
(or tell me to fuck off, if you like.)
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 08-22-05 4:10 PM
I'm no longer sure whether I want to go on a date just so I can blog it, or because I'd actually like to go out with a woman.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-22-05 4:15 PM
nice to know that no matter how much of an ass I am -- and I am an ass -- I did not create that profile. Somebody else did.
Richard Gere was young once, and he did not look like that guy.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 08-22-05 4:25 PM
who needs to go out with women? I think I'll join an abbey of some sort.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 08-22-05 4:28 PM
Re 24: see 20.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 08-22-05 4:35 PM
Hmm, always wondered what Wolfson looked like.
Should leave it at that, but Apo deserves congrats again for pointing out that ogged's sexuality is, at least, open to question. I don't know what British TV you get over there, but I think I'm going to start referring to ogged as Daffyd.
Posted by peter snees | Link to this comment | 08-22-05 4:45 PM
Oh that lie is so lame.
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 08-22-05 4:46 PM
snees, if you could tear yourself away from not getting dates with my favorite British columnist, you'd know that actual pictures of Wolfson have been posted here....
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-22-05 4:47 PM
ogged, if you could tear yourself away from not getting any dates whatsoever, er, um, never mind.
Posted by peter snees | Link to this comment | 08-22-05 4:56 PM
Ogged is right. The men's ads are far more entertaining. Check this one out:
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 08-22-05 5:08 PM
Wow. It just keeps going and going, doesn't it? It starts with irritating content, then adds in irritating stylistic touches, and finally collapses into bare, petulant arrogance. Which is also annoying, but shorter. Practically every sentence attains a new plateau of toolishness. If this was done intentionally, it's a masterpiece.
Posted by tom | Link to this comment | 08-22-05 5:12 PM
Date conversation indeed!
I think Unfogged should be renamed the Effete Squad from this day forward.
Next steps: the hole, Islam, sodomy and no end of maternal nagging.
Posted by peter snees | Link to this comment | 08-22-05 5:13 PM
I think it was deliberate, and very well done.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-22-05 5:14 PM
Yeah, I also think deliberate and well done, but unlikely to attract women. Unlikely that it was intended for that purporse, either. "My PO is such a jerk"? I'm thinking Bizarro Labs writing an ad for alternate universe (Jewish) Ogged.
Posted by Kriston | Link to this comment | 08-22-05 6:42 PM
Wait, which one is deliberate but well done? Who goes to prison for a triple homicide and ever gets out?
Posted by Sam K | Link to this comment | 08-22-05 8:16 PM
This guy.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-22-05 8:32 PM
The most interesting part is the loophole whereby he gets out at 18 with no criminal record. Apparently, it took the some fancy work on the part of the federal prosecutors to extend his sentence to 21. Amazing.
Posted by Sam K | Link to this comment | 08-22-05 9:04 PM
Jesus, Matt Weiner, are you reading over my shoulder? I swear, I'm right in the middle of Right Ho, Jeeves, and immediately recognized the quote. Cut that out!
Posted by Dan Someone | Link to this comment | 08-22-05 9:14 PM
I just rented the Hugh Laurie/Steven Fry TV shows -- I hadn't seen them before, and they're just as good as everyone says.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-23-05 7:46 AM
Ogged, I thought we'd started being nicer to Brian Leiter.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 08-23-05 9:04 PM
I only meant to convey that Brian Leiter has great abs.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-23-05 9:06 PM
I know a guy in UT's philosophy program. Hm...
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 08-23-05 9:20 PM
Result of my endeavors:
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 08-23-05 9:56 PM
He's not listed? What does that mean? We don't know his name.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-23-05 9:57 PM
Good point. "Glen Cannon" might be his name, of course.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 08-23-05 9:59 PM
Or a clever pseudonym!
My guess is that it's not his name.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-23-05 10:02 PM
My guess too, especially since I see now he's spelling it with an absurd plethora of 'n's.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 08-23-05 10:07 PM
Right you are, LB. I saw one last week where the cashiers at a convenience store/gas station were acting like real estate agents, and asking how much customers might be willing to spend on a liter of gas. why do our largest purchases involve the biggest amount of bullshit, anyway?
Posted by peter snees | Link to this comment | 08-24-05 1:38 PM