It seems to me that Ogged might have let it be known that he is fond of malicious snark and smutty innuendo. Some poor thing is going to have the surprise of her life. Let's hope she's at least 20.
I think it's a real achievement to say that you admire kindness (in my quick reading, you said it at least twice) without coming across as saccharine (which you don't). Well done.
Does the absurd loyalty extend to your online homiez?
Ogged, as far as the not hearing back thing goes, I offer this--and there's absolutely no reason you should listen to me--but it may just be that your person got a bunch of e-mails and had to choose some way (eeny-meeny-miney-mo?) to pick the ones to respond to. I sort of imagine it as like applying for an academic job, although I feel sorry for anyone who is as desperate for companionship as I was for a job. Didn't make sense to target one job, because I knew they'd be getting a lot of responses, and would have to cull them based on very little information in a manner that was close to random. So if My Dream Job decided not to give me an interview based on my CV and paper, there was no reason to be too insulted. Who knew what they were thinking? So... if you want a few dates, maybe you have to send out a bunch of e-mails. (But it may be better to be dateless than out with someone you don't actually like.)
Also, you shouldn't have shaved your skinny, pointy head for the picture. Ewww.
I'd totally date your "titties!" profile. This, though. Dunno. Kinda Canadian.
Your lie is fantastic, though. On a quick skim it looks like another "text commenting on the text" entry(a la your "celebrity" answer), when in fact it's a sharp, nasty jab at other personals. Sweet.
ogged, very nice. i also can't find much reason to tease, but of course, i am reading this with prior acquaintanceship with your blog persona. in combination with that, it doesn't seem too earnest. in isolation, though, who knows.
but i've read a lot of personal ads, and that's quite a good one.
i am reading this with prior acquaintanceship with your blog persona
Yeah, I think this makes a huge difference. If you didn't already have some idea what I'm like, I think there are parts that are alternatively too earnest and too cute. But thanks.
OK. So why are you doing this at all, ogged? It seems like you know tons of cool women, who in turn probably know tons of cool women. To the extent that this is a bit like getting a job, I'm reminded that an awful lot of people get jobs because of friends and acquaintances. Why is ex, ebl, or any number of others, not helping a brother out?
I ask only because if the 6'5" Gayatollah can't get dates based solely on that piece of information, then I suspect there's no hope for the rest of us on those sites.
I do seem to know many cool women, but they're either taken, or not quite for me, or out of bounds by reason of relationship to ex or ebl. And what Weiner linked. That was my last best chance for the exes to come through.
And the thing about your friends is you usually already know most of their friends. I've got this British journalist buddy of Mr. Breath's who I've shopped around to every single woman I know, and at this point, I'm essentially useless for finding him a date: I just don't know anyone else who's looking. (Lovely guy, although he smokes too much dope for a man in his 40's.)
Comes a point where you have to broaden your social circle or move outside it.
I'm not a fan of the universal. My preferance would be, "Too many people take..."
Also, the playful ambiguity is too ambiguous for my tastes. Are you really describing yourself as goofy like Conan O-Brien (whose goffiness is the exact same night after night and never changes?) as as affirming as Katie Holmes (whatever that means)?
And the lie thing is amusingly snarky, but doesn't give any information about you because it's not actually something you've really said, is it? Really, it, along with the above, suggest a preoccupation with commenting on others. Not saying that's necessarily bad, but I just want to observe that's how you're coming accross.
Unless you're looking to date another blogger, I'd get rid of the Kaus reference.
I've heard that people who get jobs through acquaintances and friends usually find them through the more distant acquaintances rather than the closer friends.
I've heard that people who get jobs through acquaintances and friends usually find them through the more distant acquaintances rather than the closer friends.
That's really interesting, I haven't heard that. Is that just because more distant acquaintances are more numerous?
The theory is that your close friends have roughly the same information as you; your acquaintances may travel in slightly different circles. Different circles means different information. So said the study.
But, it is called the strength of weak ties. The theory is that the opportunities your close friends know about, you probably already know about. Your close friends tend to know people you already know. But you probably don't know the opportunities that acquantences know about. Acquantences tend to know people you don't know.
You know, far be it from me to suggest that you drop the cloak of anonymity, but don't lots of people, some of whom are single women, read this thing? (Not a lot of heavy commenters in that category I can think of except ac, and you're not around NY if I recall correctly. And I actually can't remember if ac is single.)
If you revealed the top secret location of oggedville, and mentioned that you might be up for coffee after an exchange of emails if tall, narrow-hipped, non-squeaky, Anglophonic readers were interested, you might get some response, and anyone who emailed would at least know what she was in for.
Conversely, you might get no interest at all, at which point your spirit would be irretrievably crushed. So, six of one...
So anyone who wants to date ogged should email Wolfson. Wolfson will screen for geographical appropriateness, and give out ogged's contact information to all local applicants.
I should be nice and say that I do like most of your profile. More important, it's you. At the "you" we have come to know online. At least I think it does that good a job of communicating your personality - I'm sure there is, as noted, some confirmation bias because of not being a naive reader.
Given the amount of singles, albeit mostly male, among the commentariat here, perhaps you could start an Unfogged dating blog. You've already branched out into a reading group.
By the way, ogged, if the title of the post relates to your profile picture, that's your problem right there. You have to wait a bit before whipping out the enormous dong.
I'm somewhat ashamed to admit it, but all of this makes me think maybe, when I know where I'm going to be living, I should enter the world of online personals. I don't think I'd blog it, though.
The joke profile really got a response, but it would be poor form to go any further with this. Unless B-W looks like Ogged when Ogged sees titties, or something.
Ben, you've read that Williams article on personal identity where there's a secret agent who's sent to kill McX, and McX has changed so much that there's a real question about his continuity through time, and Williams says, "well, it's not as though the agent can just wound McX"? That makes me laugh every time I think of it.
In the stretch leading up 69 everyone was actually trying to get Ogged hooked up. My post was 72. Then, starting with 70 people were back to the normal nasty, for the sole purpose of making me look bad.
Well, mainly I don't want to mix personal ad blogging into my existing blog. I'm gradually moving away from an overemphasis on academic stuff, but I don't think I want to get that personal.
What exactly does one say to a woman who expressed interest in a personal ad constructed to be a joke? What's the nice way of letting someone know that their taste is this awful?
We struggled with that, Tarrou, and our two best options were to 1) lie and say that I *don't* have an enormous dong or 2) be honest and tell her that I don't live in Chicago.
1. Ogged, about a year ago I thought of trying to set you up with a woman. I dunno about logistics, but such a woman. I've since lost touch with her.
2. Wolfson, you ass. Anyway, unless EFF (well EFF and a knowledgeable friend) has been lying to me, Ogged could disguise that information by way of proxies.
Also, doesn't the IBM Soul Pad sound exactly like what we were talking about with Linux on a USB drive?
Really? I'm thinking now that it might be a good idea to let her know the exact purpose of that ad. It might be some useful feedback. She may very well have no idea that the reasoning and instinct (if any) she uses in choosing mates are in need of calibrating.
Ben, you've read that Williams article on personal identity where there's a secret agent who's sent to kill McX, and McX has changed so much that there's a real question about his continuity through time, and Williams says, "well, it's not as though the agent can just wound McX"? That makes me laugh every time I think of it.
No, I haven't. In fact, I've read statistically no philosophy in article form, and statistically no analytic philosophy at all.
Isn't Liddell Hart more known for advocating the use of tanks in blitzkrieg fashion? And unfortunately being read by Germans instead of his countrymen?
Liddell Hart was also, oddly enough, one of the very few military historians to pay serious attention to the Mongol campaigns.
It would seem to be a big blunder to simply ignore the most successful soldiers of all time, but a high proportion of military historians did (and still do, e.g. Kagan) just that.
Also, I didn't know that about Liddell Hart. I knew what I posted as a result of having read an article about, or maybe just an introduction to the works of, Lewis Carroll, and a biography of Graves.
Oh. I assumed you did, but (rightly) decided that to identify someone by what they're actually best known for would not be in the slightest bit amusing. Which it would not have been. In the slightest.
I used to have one saying "Saturday night is sexy; Sunday morning is sexier" and bizarrely this half thrown together answer has always gotten more, and more positive, responses than the other ones, hich I fairly agonized over.
Given that everyone agrees the text of the ad is good
Actually, before my phone ate it, I had a comment ready in which the phrases "Mickey Kaus" and "die alone" featured prominently. But probably I was just upset about my flight being late.
I think I disagree with Tim (that America-hating bastard!). I like "I wouldn't begin to presume" because, in its wry way, it acknowledges that the question is a treacherous one; it's admirably humble but clever about it.
I like "after three minutes..." but maybe you should just talk about the dream of some guy strangling you. Also "it's never going to work" might be a bit too relationship-oriented. Would you consider "...you think we've got nothing" or something less dramatic?
The loyalty thing is endearing; the danger is sounding too much like a dog. I think you're ok, though.
All the commenters get to nail my girlfriend! Woohoo! The liveblogging event of the century!
Burke is a fuddy duddy and I'm going to crush his fucking skull with my thousand years of power. What did he want, the informative celebrity comparison?
On the other hand, if someone *does* google your ad, this might not be the best conversation to be having. Ladies love a thousand years of power, don't get me wrong, but it might be better to wait before whipping it out.
I somehow got to Unfogged about a week or two ago and now tune in everyday...loved the personal ad with the exception of "Excellence" being sexiest...right away it seemed I wasn't good enough. My personal favorite part was being absurdly loyal after 10 minutes...that is very endearing... and the whole last paragraph -perfecto!
By the way, I am a single woman but probably-too-old-for-you and have read many many too many awful personal ads.
Dude, I would totally date you. In fairness, I should note that my ad was never intended to produce dates; it was more of a procrastination device.
Also, I say for the record: my joke ad for Ogged has produced interest; my halfway serious ad for myself has not. Pwned, Labs.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 2:33 PM
I hope ogged isn't really as affirming as Katie Holmes.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 2:35 PM
You went with the editor style, after all.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 2:35 PM
Thank you, but I already know you would date me. We could sit around with our shirts off and hands in the air yelling "Titties!" all day.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 2:36 PM
You went with the editor style, after all.
I couldn't resist that one.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 2:38 PM
The sad thing is that I would find that funny for much longer than is merited.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 2:43 PM
I have to say, well done ogged. I would rather find some reason to tease, but cannot.
I do think that stylized sex, though unsexy, can be quite entertaining, which is why the sex scene in top gun tops my list. Esp. the oragami part.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 2:45 PM
It seems to me that Ogged might have let it be known that he is fond of malicious snark and smutty innuendo. Some poor thing is going to have the surprise of her life. Let's hope she's at least 20.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 2:46 PM
"sexier is sexy; sexiest is sexier"
Posted by abf | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 2:46 PM
I other words, ogged, I'm afraid that everyone in that room sees through me, sees that I have fallen for you.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 2:47 PM
You'll have to fight Timbot to get to me, text, but thanks.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 2:48 PM
Ogged might have let it be known that he is fond of malicious snark and smutty innuendo
Not in real life, he's not.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 2:49 PM
With an ad like that, I'd date you -- I can't think of a thing to snipe at. But I suppose I'd be in line after FL and text.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 2:53 PM
Thanks, LB. Since I haven't heard from the woman I emailed, I have to assume that I'm really effin ugly.
By the way, don't y'all think the picture counts for at least as much as the text with these things?
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 2:56 PM
Since I haven't heard from the woman I emailed, I have to assume that I'm really effin ugly.
It's more likely that she thinks of herself as smart and generous.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 2:58 PM
The picture is the attention getter. The text is the attention keeper.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 2:58 PM
Ogged's ad is very good.
I would tweak it by rewritting the last two sections like this:
WHY YOU SHOULD GET TO KNOW ME
I can be absurdly loyal.
MORE ABOUT WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR
Someone smart, and generous of spirit.
But I could be wrong, those sections don't really suck as they are. The whole thing is much better written than the other ones I have seen.
"This Is Not a Novel" is a good pick for the best book. Obscure, experimental; but unpretensious and as easy to read as steven king.
Posted by Joe O | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 3:00 PM
I think it's a real achievement to say that you admire kindness (in my quick reading, you said it at least twice) without coming across as saccharine (which you don't). Well done.
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 3:02 PM
The picture, and the general background data (education level, place of employment), do 90% of the work, I'd bet.
You sound a little French, but otherwise pretty good.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 3:02 PM
Does the absurd loyalty extend to your online homiez?
Ogged, as far as the not hearing back thing goes, I offer this--and there's absolutely no reason you should listen to me--but it may just be that your person got a bunch of e-mails and had to choose some way (eeny-meeny-miney-mo?) to pick the ones to respond to. I sort of imagine it as like applying for an academic job, although I feel sorry for anyone who is as desperate for companionship as I was for a job. Didn't make sense to target one job, because I knew they'd be getting a lot of responses, and would have to cull them based on very little information in a manner that was close to random. So if My Dream Job decided not to give me an interview based on my CV and paper, there was no reason to be too insulted. Who knew what they were thinking? So... if you want a few dates, maybe you have to send out a bunch of e-mails. (But it may be better to be dateless than out with someone you don't actually like.)
Also, you shouldn't have shaved your skinny, pointy head for the picture. Ewww.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 3:03 PM
You left out your huge dong, though. That's the real attention-keeper.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 3:03 PM
I'd totally date your "titties!" profile. This, though. Dunno. Kinda Canadian.
Your lie is fantastic, though. On a quick skim it looks like another "text commenting on the text" entry(a la your "celebrity" answer), when in fact it's a sharp, nasty jab at other personals. Sweet.
Kaus. Fucking virus Kaus.
Posted by Isle of Toads | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 3:04 PM
You sound a little French, but otherwise pretty good.
You have your moments, Tim.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 3:05 PM
Does the absurd loyalty extend to your online homiez?
Since you've already moved, it sure does, Matt. Actually, it does: see Pundit, Insta.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 3:06 PM
She may just be out of town. It is summer vacation time, after all.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 3:09 PM
Good point. In Sweden, maybe.
(She's logged on since I sent her the email.)
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 3:11 PM
We could sit around with our shirts off and hands in the air yelling "Titties!" all day.
I probably shouldn't admit this, but I'm pretty sure ex and I did that before ...
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 3:12 PM
All day?
Well, you do have a fantastic rack.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 3:13 PM
ogged, very nice. i also can't find much reason to tease, but of course, i am reading this with prior acquaintanceship with your blog persona. in combination with that, it doesn't seem too earnest. in isolation, though, who knows.
but i've read a lot of personal ads, and that's quite a good one.
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 3:14 PM
what weiner said. If you get a one-out-of-five response rate, I think that's decent.
Take indignant joy from the dings.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 3:15 PM
You never know. She may find the word "excellence" a bit suspect. It's really anyone guess what's going on in her head.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 3:15 PM
All day?
Probably not all day. Because a fantastic rack can be, umm, distracting.
And thanks for the compliment. I'll have to flash you sometime ...
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 3:17 PM
i am reading this with prior acquaintanceship with your blog persona
Yeah, I think this makes a huge difference. If you didn't already have some idea what I'm like, I think there are parts that are alternatively too earnest and too cute. But thanks.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 3:17 PM
By the way, I should be clear that I do think it's sad that she didn't respond, but I don't really take it personally.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 3:18 PM
I'll have to flash you sometime
Couldn't agree more.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 3:20 PM
it's sad that she didn't respond
But if she's the kind of person who wouldn't respond, is it really sad?
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 3:22 PM
Given that everyone agrees the text of the ad is good, the next step is to figure out just how bad the picture was.
Perhaps some sunless tanning lotion on that all-important goggle area might improve your odds.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 3:22 PM
By putting up the text here, aren't you making it possible for anyone you contact to find your blog with a quick google search?
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 3:28 PM
Ogged might have let it be known that he is fond of malicious snark and smutty innuendo
Not in real life, he's not.
By day, sincere and loyal. By night, snarky and smutty. The Two Faces of Ogged.
Then one day, the two faces met.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 3:29 PM
aren't you making it possible for anyone you contact to find your blog with a quick google search?
Yeah, but I don't expect the two or three people I contact (still pseudonymously, through the dating site) to google the text.
all-important goggle area
The picture is a couple of years old, so tanless.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 3:35 PM
OK. So why are you doing this at all, ogged? It seems like you know tons of cool women, who in turn probably know tons of cool women. To the extent that this is a bit like getting a job, I'm reminded that an awful lot of people get jobs because of friends and acquaintances. Why is ex, ebl, or any number of others, not helping a brother out?
I ask only because if the 6'5" Gayatollah can't get dates based solely on that piece of information, then I suspect there's no hope for the rest of us on those sites.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 3:49 PM
"Kindness is sexier" really grabbed me. It's totally sappy, but it tugged my heart strings nonetheless.
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 3:50 PM
SCMT--ex and ebl tried, but not too hard.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 3:53 PM
Woopsy. HTML trainwreck. Here.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 3:55 PM
I do seem to know many cool women, but they're either taken, or not quite for me, or out of bounds by reason of relationship to ex or ebl. And what Weiner linked. That was my last best chance for the exes to come through.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 3:58 PM
And the thing about your friends is you usually already know most of their friends. I've got this British journalist buddy of Mr. Breath's who I've shopped around to every single woman I know, and at this point, I'm essentially useless for finding him a date: I just don't know anyone else who's looking. (Lovely guy, although he smokes too much dope for a man in his 40's.)
Comes a point where you have to broaden your social circle or move outside it.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 4:00 PM
Everyone takes this to mean
I'm not a fan of the universal. My preferance would be, "Too many people take..."
Also, the playful ambiguity is too ambiguous for my tastes. Are you really describing yourself as goofy like Conan O-Brien (whose goffiness is the exact same night after night and never changes?) as as affirming as Katie Holmes (whatever that means)?
And the lie thing is amusingly snarky, but doesn't give any information about you because it's not actually something you've really said, is it? Really, it, along with the above, suggest a preoccupation with commenting on others. Not saying that's necessarily bad, but I just want to observe that's how you're coming accross.
Unless you're looking to date another blogger, I'd get rid of the Kaus reference.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 4:00 PM
Ogged, I could totally set you up with hip, good-looking women...if you lived in North Carolina.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 4:01 PM
suggest a preoccupation with commenting on others
Go figure.
I'd get rid of the Kaus reference.
But it's not a reference. I'm just using his schtick, because I like it. If someone realizes I've stolen if from him, double bonus.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 4:03 PM
I've heard that people who get jobs through acquaintances and friends usually find them through the more distant acquaintances rather than the closer friends.
I wonder if something similar applies here.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 4:04 PM
apo, I'm sure Timbot is willing to move to NC if you make him the same offer.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 4:04 PM
I've heard that people who get jobs through acquaintances and friends usually find them through the more distant acquaintances rather than the closer friends.
That's really interesting, I haven't heard that. Is that just because more distant acquaintances are more numerous?
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 4:05 PM
The theory is that your close friends have roughly the same information as you; your acquaintances may travel in slightly different circles. Different circles means different information. So said the study.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 4:09 PM
That makes sense. So, Timbot, I barely know you, how about sending me some of the hotties that you've pursued unsuccessfully?
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 4:11 PM
More here and wikipedia entry here.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 4:14 PM
I am too slow.
But, it is called the strength of weak ties. The theory is that the opportunities your close friends know about, you probably already know about. Your close friends tend to know people you already know. But you probably don't know the opportunities that acquantences know about. Acquantences tend to know people you don't know.
Posted by Joe O | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 4:17 PM
You know, far be it from me to suggest that you drop the cloak of anonymity, but don't lots of people, some of whom are single women, read this thing? (Not a lot of heavy commenters in that category I can think of except ac, and you're not around NY if I recall correctly. And I actually can't remember if ac is single.)
If you revealed the top secret location of oggedville, and mentioned that you might be up for coffee after an exchange of emails if tall, narrow-hipped, non-squeaky, Anglophonic readers were interested, you might get some response, and anyone who emailed would at least know what she was in for.
Conversely, you might get no interest at all, at which point your spirit would be irretrievably crushed. So, six of one...
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 4:17 PM
That's a thought, LB, but I like my anonymity, and I'm saving myself for ac.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 4:20 PM
You could ask local commentors to set you up with people too.
Posted by Joe O | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 4:20 PM
Of course, Kotsko, profgrrrrl, and I (and others, I'm sure) know where oggedville is. We can do this will-he-nill-he.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 4:25 PM
They don't call it a Wolfson Indiscretion Error for nothing.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 4:27 PM
So anyone who wants to date ogged should email Wolfson. Wolfson will screen for geographical appropriateness, and give out ogged's contact information to all local applicants.
Let the stalking commence!
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 4:27 PM
*chirp**chirp*
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 4:28 PM
Nah, crickets don't qualify. Squeaky.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 4:28 PM
Michael, stop masturbating.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 4:28 PM
The power of reverse DNS lookups enables anyone on whose blog ogged has commented to find out where he lives.
That in itself is not indiscreet.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 4:30 PM
That is an endearing ad, ogged, the 'why you should get to know me' in particular.
Although I only read personal ads when people link to them in their blog posts, so I'm not a good judge of whether that makes it a good ad or not.
Posted by winna | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 4:31 PM
I should be nice and say that I do like most of your profile. More important, it's you. At the "you" we have come to know online. At least I think it does that good a job of communicating your personality - I'm sure there is, as noted, some confirmation bias because of not being a naive reader.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 4:32 PM
Given the amount of singles, albeit mostly male, among the commentariat here, perhaps you could start an Unfogged dating blog. You've already branched out into a reading group.
Unrelated: that gives me an idea:
Had we but being enough, and time,
This opacity, reader, were no crime.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 4:33 PM
Wolfson, I'm about 85% sure I should have you killed.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 4:33 PM
65 - What?? That's not a masturbating sound. Is that what you sound like when you masturbate?
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 4:33 PM
When did we get all serious about this? I don't understand the local culture here.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 4:36 PM
This, to you, qualifies as all serious? I am awed by your expected level of hilarity when people are trying to be funny.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 4:37 PM
I really like that John's 72 follow's Michael's 71.
We're very supple, John.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 4:38 PM
By the way, ogged, if the title of the post relates to your profile picture, that's your problem right there. You have to wait a bit before whipping out the enormous dong.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 4:52 PM
At least have me all-the-way killed and not 85% killed.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 4:54 PM
The picture is clothed, but I didn't paste here my answer for "Religion," which was, naturally, "Church of My Enormous Dong."
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 4:55 PM
Did you all catch that the joke profile of me that Labs put up got a response?
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 5:02 PM
Yeah. That's awesome. Can we collaboratively respond to the response, or would that be too mean?
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 5:05 PM
The joke profile with the picture of the world class athlete got responses?
Posted by joe o | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 5:06 PM
Yes, it did.
Too mean, Ben. Labs is responding kindly.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 5:07 PM
Thank you for saving me from my baser urges.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 5:08 PM
I'm somewhat ashamed to admit it, but all of this makes me think maybe, when I know where I'm going to be living, I should enter the world of online personals. I don't think I'd blog it, though.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 5:08 PM
I don't think I'd blog it, though.
Then it's probably not worth doing.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 5:10 PM
The joke profile really got a response, but it would be poor form to go any further with this. Unless B-W looks like Ogged when Ogged sees titties, or something.
Ben, you've read that Williams article on personal identity where there's a secret agent who's sent to kill McX, and McX has changed so much that there's a real question about his continuity through time, and Williams says, "well, it's not as though the agent can just wound McX"? That makes me laugh every time I think of it.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 5:10 PM
In the stretch leading up 69 everyone was actually trying to get Ogged hooked up. My post was 72. Then, starting with 70 people were back to the normal nasty, for the sole purpose of making me look bad.
I feel powerful, in a way.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 5:15 PM
Well, mainly I don't want to mix personal ad blogging into my existing blog. I'm gradually moving away from an overemphasis on academic stuff, but I don't think I want to get that personal.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 5:15 PM
What exactly does one say to a woman who expressed interest in a personal ad constructed to be a joke? What's the nice way of letting someone know that their taste is this awful?
Posted by Tarrou | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 5:15 PM
We struggled with that, Tarrou, and our two best options were to 1) lie and say that I *don't* have an enormous dong or 2) be honest and tell her that I don't live in Chicago.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 5:17 PM
1. Ogged, about a year ago I thought of trying to set you up with a woman. I dunno about logistics, but such a woman. I've since lost touch with her.
2. Wolfson, you ass. Anyway, unless EFF (well EFF and a knowledgeable friend) has been lying to me, Ogged could disguise that information by way of proxies.
Also, doesn't the IBM Soul Pad sound exactly like what we were talking about with Linux on a USB drive?
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 5:20 PM
Man, I really didn't need to know that. But thanks for the thought.
Let's kill Wolfson.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 5:22 PM
Really? I'm thinking now that it might be a good idea to let her know the exact purpose of that ad. It might be some useful feedback. She may very well have no idea that the reasoning and instinct (if any) she uses in choosing mates are in need of calibrating.
Posted by Tarrou | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 5:22 PM
All 85% of us.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 5:22 PM
Ben, you've read that Williams article on personal identity where there's a secret agent who's sent to kill McX, and McX has changed so much that there's a real question about his continuity through time, and Williams says, "well, it's not as though the agent can just wound McX"? That makes me laugh every time I think of it.
No, I haven't. In fact, I've read statistically no philosophy in article form, and statistically no analytic philosophy at all.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 5:23 PM
Or, Tarrou, she might have thought, "this is a plainly insane creation, I'd like to meet whoever's behind it." That's not so strange.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 5:24 PM
Telling her would be cruel. Better she find out the normal way: by sleeping with the same wrong guy over and over again for years.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 5:27 PM
Ogged could disguise that information by way of proxies.
True, and for all I know, he does. I got my info straight from the Persian's mouth.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 5:28 PM
Ok, on re-reading the ad I think I buy that over my "amusingly misguided bint" theory. I find that strangely relieving.
Posted by Tarrou | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 5:29 PM
a secret agent who's sent to kill McX, and McX has changed
I thought that was a Borges story.
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 5:29 PM
The Liddell-Hart mentioned in that story was a friend of Robert Graves and a relative of Alice Liddell of Alice in Wonderland fame.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 5:31 PM
101.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 5:35 PM
Count me in for liking it. I think "excellence is sexy; kindness is sexier" is great. Generally very endearing. Makes you seem like a mensch.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 5:36 PM
"seem"?
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 5:38 PM
Isn't Liddell Hart more known for advocating the use of tanks in blitzkrieg fashion? And unfortunately being read by Germans instead of his countrymen?
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 5:42 PM
And by the way, on 58, I'm touched.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 5:47 PM
Isn't Liddell Hart more known
Yes.
But one ask, Isn't Wolfson more known for adducing esoterica than essence?
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 5:56 PM
might
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 5:56 PM
this is a plainly insane creation
I would only reply to ads that made me laugh. It makes perfect sense to me.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 5:58 PM
Liddell Hart was also, oddly enough, one of the very few military historians to pay serious attention to the Mongol campaigns.
It would seem to be a big blunder to simply ignore the most successful soldiers of all time, but a high proportion of military historians did (and still do, e.g. Kagan) just that.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 6:12 PM
Ahh, but esoterica precedes essence.
Posted by Oz | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 6:12 PM
Also, I didn't know that about Liddell Hart. I knew what I posted as a result of having read an article about, or maybe just an introduction to the works of, Lewis Carroll, and a biography of Graves.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 6:16 PM
esoterica precedes essence
In the dictionary.
Also, I didn't know that about Liddell Hart.
Oh. I assumed you did, but (rightly) decided that to identify someone by what they're actually best known for would not be in the slightest bit amusing. Which it would not have been. In the slightest.
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 6:24 PM
I used to have one saying "Saturday night is sexy; Sunday morning is sexier" and bizarrely this half thrown together answer has always gotten more, and more positive, responses than the other ones, hich I fairly agonized over.
Posted by billyfrombelfast | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 6:26 PM
That's good. Skeezy, but good.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 6:28 PM
Somehow the "why you should get to know me" is just ever so slightly too self-deprecating. The celebrity thing is deflection.
Posted by Timothy Burke | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 6:47 PM
Given that everyone agrees the text of the ad is good
Actually, before my phone ate it, I had a comment ready in which the phrases "Mickey Kaus" and "die alone" featured prominently. But probably I was just upset about my flight being late.
Posted by tom | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 7:52 PM
I think I disagree with Tim (that America-hating bastard!). I like "I wouldn't begin to presume" because, in its wry way, it acknowledges that the question is a treacherous one; it's admirably humble but clever about it.
I like "after three minutes..." but maybe you should just talk about the dream of some guy strangling you. Also "it's never going to work" might be a bit too relationship-oriented. Would you consider "...you think we've got nothing" or something less dramatic?
The loyalty thing is endearing; the danger is sounding too much like a dog. I think you're ok, though.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 7:57 PM
Also, this kind-hearted advice means that I get to nail your girlfriend.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 7:58 PM
All the commenters get to nail my girlfriend! Woohoo! The liveblogging event of the century!
Burke is a fuddy duddy and I'm going to crush his fucking skull with my thousand years of power. What did he want, the informative celebrity comparison?
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 8:02 PM
I was hoping the somewhat dramatic and hyperbolic "never" of "never going to work" would lighten its relationshipiness.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 8:04 PM
That's hilarious.
Celebrity Tim most resembles after we beat the crap out of him: Kurt Cobain
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 8:07 PM
Actually, let's not beat him up; let's put a hex on him that takes away his ability to use dependent clauses. Or is that over the top?
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 8:10 PM
Celebrity Tim most resembles after being hexed: Matt LeBlanc
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 8:11 PM
Dude, that's worse than being beaten up. It would be hilarious if Tim were forced to be more LeBlancish, though.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 8:14 PM
On the other hand, if someone *does* google your ad, this might not be the best conversation to be having. Ladies love a thousand years of power, don't get me wrong, but it might be better to wait before whipping it out.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 8:17 PM
If someone googles my ad and reads 120 comments, she's going to become my wife.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 8:20 PM
So, with Wolfson and I being the only two regulars who've had full-on face pictures show up here, which celebrities do we most resemble?
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 8:21 PM
[redacted]
Posted by [redacted] | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 8:24 PM
When I think apostropher, I also think Mamie Van Doren.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 8:25 PM
Wolfson.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 8:27 PM
Wolfson is Cornel West?
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 8:29 PM
When I think apostropher, I also think Mamie Van Doren.
Funny, that.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 8:30 PM
apostopher come home. your
mama's waitin'. you've been out on the unfogged playground too long.
Posted by roberta | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 10:03 PM
Hmm, that's a first. I may have to get rid of one of the computers in this house.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 10:13 PM
Did that really just happen?
Hi Mrs. Apostropher!
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 10:16 PM
I believe I was just pwned!
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 10:19 PM
isn't there some kind of law against wives coming into properly-established taverns to pester their husbands? Didn't W.C. Fields establish this?
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08-12-05 10:36 PM
shorter hair.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 08-13-05 12:18 AM
We should do pictures. I'm willing to upload one.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 08-13-05 12:46 AM
If #133 if for real, that's really cool and funny. If it's not, less so.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 08-13-05 8:09 AM
From those photos, I think Wolfson looks a bit like Danny Masterson.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 08-13-05 9:43 AM
right, we're chipping in to buy him the clothes.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 08-13-05 10:11 AM
Yes, that was for real. I never employ non-standard capitalization and vainly try to discourage it in the missus.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-13-05 10:19 AM
I somehow got to Unfogged about a week or two ago and now tune in everyday...loved the personal ad with the exception of "Excellence" being sexiest...right away it seemed I wasn't good enough. My personal favorite part was being absurdly loyal after 10 minutes...that is very endearing... and the whole last paragraph -perfecto!
By the way, I am a single woman but probably-too-old-for-you and have read many many too many awful personal ads.
Posted by M | Link to this comment | 08-13-05 3:01 PM
So, you all have lives, is that it?
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 08-13-05 5:59 PM
We just don't want to get the apostropher in any more trouble.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-13-05 6:00 PM
I'm home alone with the kids tonight. Fire away.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-13-05 6:06 PM
Excellent. But I got nuthin'. Requests?
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-13-05 6:08 PM
Eusene Mirman's sex advice.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-13-05 6:13 PM
Eugene, obviously.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-13-05 6:13 PM
Oh man, that guy is funny.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-13-05 6:19 PM
So, you all have lives, is that it?
I'm just too embarrassed to let people know I'm online on a Saturday.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 08-13-05 6:20 PM
I just sold my couch.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 08-13-05 6:21 PM
Congratulations. Did you get mucho bucks for it?
When do you actually move?
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-13-05 6:22 PM
In two weeks.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 08-13-05 6:31 PM
to think that i always considered labs the butch member of this blog partnership! guess i have to recalibrate my gaydar.
Posted by peter snees | Link to this comment | 08-14-05 3:56 PM
Here's a hint.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 08-15-05 9:53 AM