Some of those characterizations are uncharitable, Peter. This post, clearly, is meant to give pleasure to our female and gay male readers, and reassurance to our straight male readers. That's an emotional service. The post on the Aristocrats was a deep and sustained meditation on the nature of humor. "Cell phones" was, in fact, "speaking truth to power." I could go on.
Anyway, I'll play myself if Jennifer Connelly is my co-star.
If you're the straight male, who cares? Every woman any of us have ever been with would have left us in a heartbeat for him. This offers me know reassurance. (But then, I didn't click through.)
This reminds me of sophomore year, highschool, health class. The teacher asked how long the average penis was, and one of the class jokers raised his hand and volunteered that the average size of the penis was fifteen inches. The teacher played along for awhile, solely to laugh at the other boys in the room eyeing their crotches in despair.
Less or more funny, perhaps, was our sex-ed video freshman year, wherein we were all informed, dispassionately, that the average erect penis was 12 inches. I wonder that the old priest showing the video never corrected that "fact." He did have a cruel sense of humor.
You know, the title of this post sounds like something Terri Gross would say. "The long arm [titter] of the law. Hee hee. I just employed sexual innuendo.". If you lost the italics it wouldn't have that problem.
I think it actually does look sort of photoshopped, this much bigger (smaller) version. Not that I'm defending the dude's honor. I know he's supposed to be the ladies man and all of that, but every time I see him my gaydar (which is usually quite accurate) is set off.
Well, if it were photoshopped we might assume he's really bigger IRL. Yes? So if I point out that it may be photoshopped then ... well, I'm sort of helping out his reputation, yes?
The gaydar bit was just a random addition. Perhaps to support my statement that I"m not defending his honor here.
Does that work? If not, take it as 3 separate observations.
Hardly Hollywood material...
Posted by Tim | Link to this comment | 08-17-05 4:07 PM
Just to let you know, Ogged, your most recent posts are:
penis, vagina, crisis, Rude Pundit, cell phones, scatology (Aristocrats), Nostradamus, and sex advice.
Ever wonder who will play you in A Beautiful Mind 2?
Posted by Peter | Link to this comment | 08-17-05 4:30 PM
Not all of the ladies love him ...
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 08-17-05 4:36 PM
Not anymore.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-17-05 4:38 PM
Some of those characterizations are uncharitable, Peter. This post, clearly, is meant to give pleasure to our female and gay male readers, and reassurance to our straight male readers. That's an emotional service. The post on the Aristocrats was a deep and sustained meditation on the nature of humor. "Cell phones" was, in fact, "speaking truth to power." I could go on.
Anyway, I'll play myself if Jennifer Connelly is my co-star.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-17-05 4:46 PM
Four different people sent me this today.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 08-17-05 5:06 PM
Interestingly I was thinking about The Aristocrats on the concluding portion of my walk just now.
They say Frank Sinatra had a very large penis, but was a lousy lay.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 08-17-05 5:20 PM
They do, huh?
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-17-05 5:22 PM
If you're the straight male, who cares? Every woman any of us have ever been with would have left us in a heartbeat for him. This offers me know reassurance. (But then, I didn't click through.)
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 08-17-05 5:24 PM
He was probably too busy thinking about Ava.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 08-17-05 5:28 PM
I've heard that about Frank Sinatra, too. I think on NPR.
Tim, about what time of the morning do you start drinking?
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 08-17-05 5:36 PM
to be honest, it looks like a pretty normal-sized willy to me.
Really? huh.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 08-17-05 5:45 PM
A sad attempt, Michael. Sad.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-17-05 5:48 PM
It had to be done.
This reminds me of sophomore year, highschool, health class. The teacher asked how long the average penis was, and one of the class jokers raised his hand and volunteered that the average size of the penis was fifteen inches. The teacher played along for awhile, solely to laugh at the other boys in the room eyeing their crotches in despair.
Less or more funny, perhaps, was our sex-ed video freshman year, wherein we were all informed, dispassionately, that the average erect penis was 12 inches. I wonder that the old priest showing the video never corrected that "fact." He did have a cruel sense of humor.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 08-17-05 5:56 PM
It might be worth teaching high school just to pull that on the kids every year.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-17-05 5:59 PM
It's twelve inches when fully unraveled.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 08-17-05 6:04 PM
You know, the title of this post sounds like something Terri Gross would say. "The long arm [titter] of the law. Hee hee. I just employed sexual innuendo.". If you lost the italics it wouldn't have that problem.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 08-17-05 6:08 PM
Go ban yourself.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-17-05 6:10 PM
I think it actually does look sort of photoshopped, this much bigger (smaller) version. Not that I'm defending the dude's honor. I know he's supposed to be the ladies man and all of that, but every time I see him my gaydar (which is usually quite accurate) is set off.
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 08-17-05 6:14 PM
I'm not sure I see how all those parts fit together, pg.
1. It looks photoshopped to you.
2. You're not defending his honor.
3. Despite his reputation as a ladies man, he sets off your gaydar.
Or are those just three separate observations?
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-17-05 6:22 PM
Well, if it were photoshopped we might assume he's really bigger IRL. Yes? So if I point out that it may be photoshopped then ... well, I'm sort of helping out his reputation, yes?
The gaydar bit was just a random addition. Perhaps to support my statement that I"m not defending his honor here.
Does that work? If not, take it as 3 separate observations.
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 08-17-05 6:26 PM
Got it.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-17-05 6:28 PM
KONTEXT-AWAY!
I'm not sure I see how all those parts fit together, pg.
Maybe that's why you haven't reset the TiVo in so long?
ˇYAWA-TXETNOK
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 08-17-05 6:28 PM
Ben, lately you fail to move beyond the already implicit. I blame your impending move.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-17-05 6:30 PM
Though the "kontext-away" tags were a nice touch.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-17-05 6:31 PM
I knew I used a word twice in 24, but I read it a few times and couldn't figure out which one it was. I must say, it's been a long day.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-17-05 6:32 PM
Since Standpipe's gone, I'm trying to make more things explicit than otherwise I would.
Plus, you know, I'm all in a state what with the move.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 08-17-05 6:33 PM
To be fair, in one case it was as a noun and the other as a verb.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 08-17-05 6:33 PM
That's kind of you, but since I couldn't identify the duplicated word, I don't think I'm off the hook.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-17-05 6:35 PM
Where is Standpipe?
Posted by Kriston | Link to this comment | 08-17-05 6:45 PM
Hiatusing.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08-17-05 6:49 PM
14 reminds me of a slightly cruel trick to play in amateur theatre.
Right before some makes their entrance let them overhear you grumbling that this is certainly not worth the $50/show you are getting.
If they say "You're getting paid?!" you know you have them.
If they say "You're only getting $50?!" you'll know they know the joke.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 08-18-05 8:18 AM
It's rather unfair to sum up a man when he's just been soaked in cold water.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 08-18-05 8:49 AM
How's doing, Joe?
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 08-18-05 8:52 AM
Ok. Like Jude, rather underwater myself.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 08-18-05 9:18 AM
Where is DE, for that matter? I think we haven't seen her about since she talked about applying for the job, so with luck she got it.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 08-18-05 11:20 AM