In a non-funny vein. Am I the only person who occasionally gets so overwhelmed by anxiety that you just shut down, can't focus on what you're doing. It's really frustrating, because every time it happens, I vow that I won't take on too much. But then I wind up doing too little and am bored. I've never found a happy medium.
On productivity--when my sister was writing her dissertation, she found the book The Clockwork Muse very helpful. It's about managing your time and producing on a schedule when you have a long, open-ended writing project. She keeps thrusting it on people, telling them it solved all her problems.
I get pretty ineffective sometimes, though I often muddle through with the things that have to be done right now. (For instance, I was completely unable to concentrate on my prep last night and woke up before 6 am to prepare my slides for today's class. Fun!)
The notion of a guy who talks about Getting Things Done and has a blog beggars belief.
My wife is a big fan of GTD. Having only skimmed the book myself and picked up the odd hint from her, I can only say that the book is a relatively inexpensive way to get lots of good advice on being more productive. (Inexpensive, say, in comparison to attending one of his seminars.) You can get most of the same advice for free online, from sites run by GTD cultists. Try starting at 43 Folders.
If anyone has other books that they recommend highly, please feel free to e-mail me. My parents were both incredibly disorganized, and it's only through sheer force of will that I've managed to impose any order at all. Ways to make that easier are always much appreciated.
I'm skeptical of the GTD phenomenon because the evangelism for some of its techniques willfully ignores the reality of the solutions. Take the Hipster PDA, for example. Someone -- kottke or haughey or one of the boingers, I think -- started this meme where he wrote important addresses and phone numbers on a 3x5 index card and called it a Hipster PDA. That in itself is pretty funny. What's not funny is that it begat a six-month (and counting) frenzy of people devising intricate formatted 3x5 address book pages, calendars, and to-do lists to be bound together into one's own customized Hipster PDA. That's not funny. That's not even a Hipster PDA! It's just a bunch of index cards connected by a binder clip. And just by calling it GTD, people think it's some magical solution to a problem.
Then again, the self-help book section at most book stores is like the 3rd biggest section, so there's obviously a market in telling people "you need a complex solution to a simple problem."
I wish someone smart would look at the whole time-management issue. It's pretty clear that in a lot of ways, humans aren't really wired to live in the kind of world they're created. I'm sure there are a lot of insights into how our minds work buried in self-help books, and the question of how much a time-management program needs to be quasi-religious in order to get people to change their habits is pretty fascinating.
I was meant to be rich, with a personal secretary, a nanny, a housekeeper and a cook, but it's never going to happen.
I was also meant to work 40 hours per week on job stuff and then spend the rest of my time on community stuff. That is, however, incompatible with being rich enough to afford help.
I like the book, although think the fandom/fanaticism is a little hard to understand, as are the high-priced seminars.
What's the best about the book is his understanding of human nature, and why we leave things undone, and how we feel about those things we leave undone. There is a tremendous feeling of relief from tackling those things, and from a couple of the approaches he recommends to dealing with things in an ongoing way.
But I've read the book twice, and each time adopted only parts of his system, and those only for a little while. So I don't know if it's really a simple solution for very much. I'm left with the sense that if I used it, really and truly, it would be a sensible and good system for managing stuff.
Yeah, Sherry, as I contemplate buying the book, I'm wondering how much I truly want to get things done, and how much procrastinating and having things hanging over my head satisfy some need I don't understand. Which is to say, I'd guess that books like this work much better for people who don't know how to organize themselves than for people who can't bring themselves to.
Joe, I don't know if you were around, but a while ago I made a big mistake and called baa the "most incisive" commenter, and no one has forgiven me (or him) since.
If I weren't afraid it would take me through an hour of traffic, I would drive over to the bookstore to look it over. Oh wait, there's another bookstore closer by which I rarely use. Nevermind.
What I'd like to see is a book called "Putting Things Off" that explained how to minimize consequences for not doing those things that you know you should do and could do and will be relieved once you have done but just somehow can't bring yourself to do.
I think I could write a book about this. Or, I know that I could write it, should write it, and would be relieved if I wrote it, but I can't bring myself to do it.
Also, re 26, I've thought that about a lot of our human endeavors. In the big-picture sense, in order for us to sustain this massive machine we've built, the vast majorityof people are required to do jobs they don't like, as literal cogs in the machine. If everyone really followed their colorful parachute or whatever, the whole system would collapse, because we'd have an abundance of bad poets and handbag designers, but no one to sit in the cubes and crunch the numbers. It's an extremely inhumane setup, especially because of the lies required to sustain it ("You are special! You can be anything your heart desires!")
I honestly do believe that the rise of mental disorders (along with our recognition and naming of these mental disorders) is a result of knowing, deep down, that you're a very, very small part of a very, very big machine and your purpose is to turn your little crank until you die. For the most part, we wouldn't need ritalin and paxil and whatever else to get through the day, if we were part of a smaller system in which everyone's role seemed valuable and essential. But that's not going to happen anytime soon, unless you believe the dire predictions of the Kunstlers of the world. (Which I sort of do.)
It's frustrating; no one knows what the purpose of their lives is anymore. I mean, it can't be to make speadsheets for an insurance company, can it? That's not a "life purpose." So we put in terrible hours to pay for two weeks of respite a year, and dream of the day, 30 years down the road, when we can finally excuse ourselves from the treadmill. It's no way to live a life, and yet it's absolutely essential to the well-being of our great societal machine that the vast majority of people continue. So we look to things like television to tell us how to achieve "meaning" and "purpose", believing the ads that instruct us to free our spirit with the new Chevy Tahoe or something. Consuming and consuming because we don't kow how else to define our own happiness.
This stuff really gets me down when I start to dwell on it.
I would have applied for grad programs abroad, because I love Europe so much. I could easily see myself at Oxbridge, going to evening prayer every day, but I lacked the passion for any one discipline. I didn't want to accomplish anything in particular. I just wanted to be a certain sort of person surrounded by clever people with beautiful gardens.
If anyone knows of a way--without being an investment banker--to get a visa to work in Europe, please feel free to share.
How do you do that without being a Republican? Also, my parents live abroad, in the Caribbean. I've heard that having family abroad can screw up your chances.
I'd be a bad ambassador. The foreigners would love me, but I'd run the risk of going native. I wouldn't be a good advocate for the U.S., because I tend to think that we're bullies and generally in the wrong.
I feel so much more at home when I'm abroad. It's a weird state, and it makes me feel guilty. There's something sort of pathetic about Anglophiles. Is it affected or real?
"How to Win Friends and Influence People" is a good book too. Most of the things the book says are clearly correct.
The best thing about the book is that it isn't about positive thinking or changing your personality. It just gives techniques for interacting with other people. It is pleasingly superficial.
You can get an older editions from ABEBOOKS that includes chapters that have been removed from newer editions. One removed chapter that concerns the importance of sexual compatability for marriages and recommends sex guides.
It's frustrating; no one knows what the purpose of their lives is anymore.
I don't know that it's that much worse than it's ever been since societies got bigger than small egalitarian bands. What was the society in which people knew what the purpose of their lives was? The purpose of my life is to subsistence farm to attempt to stave off death from exhaustion at 40? The purpose of my life is to grind mill for the feudal lord, and I'll get my reward in Heaven?
Because a barbarian who moves to a civilized country finds out that he is still a barbarian. In my admittedly limited experience, this is an occasionally unpleasant sensation; ymmv.
NB: if the barbarians in question are Anglophile USians who adopt a British accent, they seem more rather than less barbaric.
So what you do is find a marriage partner from a non-crazy family. Not having had direct, personal experience of how crazy crazy families can really be, they will have no idea what they've gotten themselves into until it's too late! Mwahahaha!
Speaking of marriage, as Ogged did the other day somewhere, how many of your friends are all pairing up. I turned 30 today, and I realized that when my mother was 30, she had a two-year old.
I'm not sure that I even want kids, but I do feel sort of behind---even though I always told myself that it was important to want to marry some one person rather than simply feeling that you had to get married.
Thanks Tia. I'm going out tonight with a friend of mine who works for a law firm where she can get off. She only works about 65 hours per week, unlike poor Lizard Breath; her firm is slow to hire and doesn't lay people off.
(assuming that your moniker accurately describes your location.)
It does. My friend is from D.C. and went to law school at NYU, but she chose to move back to Boston, because she watched her law school roommate, a French woman in the L.L.M. program at NYU, live the life of a New York associate, and she knew it was not for her.
She does real estate stuff.
Is this what they mean by "lifestyle firm"?
I meant to write "get off from work," but of course the unfogged readership would see alternate meanings.
What was the society in which people knew what the purpose of their lives was? The purpose of my life is to subsistence farm to attempt to stave off death from exhaustion at 40? The purpose of my life is to grind mill for the feudal lord, and I'll get my reward in Heaven?
I get the sense that the struggle for survival for onself and one's family is rather meaninful. It's in a sense the most real of accomplishments. And, if you really believe in heaven and the order of things, then yeah, there's a certain comfort in knowing one's place in the universe. And being loved by god and watched by angels and envied by demons sorta takes the edge off mendacity. Oh, and there's fighting each other. I was just reading some Gogol the other night, and his Cossack character was lamenting the loss of meaning now that he didn't have pollacks and turks to kill.
Did you all know that it's also Michaelmas today, the Feast of St. Michael and all the Angels? If one has to have a funny September birthday, i think that's a good holiday to have it on.
I should clarify the flippant last part of my 99, since I think Gogol is a terrific judge of human character and I wouldn't want to misrepresent him. The Cossack (Master Danilo) didn't simply lament the loss of his chance to kill (or carouse, as he called it), but the brotherhood that such activity brought about. What Danillo missed was fairly robust: living life as if one might lose at tomorrow, fighting for one's brothers and one's people, plundering objects (fine clothes and gold) which brought aesthetic pleasure, and of course, the sensual pleasures of women as one calmed down from the day's "carousing."
I get the sense that the struggle for survival for onself and one's family is rather meaningful
I know, I guess I was just saying that the meaning most historical societies have dispensed to their memebers is overrated. The people I mentioned had a clear sense of purpose, but in one case, survival with very little room for anything else was that purpose, and in other, the meaning they found was awful convenient for the exploiter class. I am a secretary who's miserable in her job, but I get to start on the long road to becoming a psychologist in January, but even if I had to be this miserable secretary forever and ever, I'd have opportunities to read, draw, write, go to museums, eat a variety of foods, see movies, work to improve my community, and travel that would have been unthinkable throughout most of history. (I would die young without health insurance though.) As a matter of fact, I should quit my whining. Just writing this comment has made me feel better about my work situation, which had been really expanding its tentacles into the rest of my life. Thank you, Unfogged.
Bostoniangirl, it varies from country to country, I'm not sure by how much, but at least in the Netherlands most USians can simply move to the country, and live there as long as they want. You simply apply for a residence permit when you get there, and I think there's not much that would get you denied for one. The hard part is finding work. First you have to get someone to hire you, and foreigners by law get second pickings in the job market, and then your potential employer has to apply on your behalf for a work permit. I have no idea how difficult it is to find employment as a foreigner there, but knowing the local language is of course going to be a *big* advantage, and I hear (besides investment banking,) that technical skill, like computer programming, has been in increased demand, though that may be outdated info.
Tia--the health insurance thing is so awful. Damn, I wish that it were easier to change the system. I'm trying to do my bit in Mass, but a real solution needs to come at the Federal level. I hate that the Dems are so wimpy on this.
I mean they all say that they believe in it, but they never fight for it. They don't have a clear, simple plan that they'll sell to voters.
Also I hear it's hard to find housing in the Netherlands because it's so densely populated, though a resident of Boston or NYC or some such metro area will probably find it to be similar.
About the meaning thing. I think the biggest source of meaning people find is in raising children. It's really a very creative and wonderful act. Human lives are truly marvelous, and creating and shaping one can be very fulfilling. Also, religion. And more recently, technological/scientific meliorism (i.e. optimism) is a big one. See, for instance, the Extropian movement.
I see your point, Tia, especially when it comes to self-medication simply replacing religion in most people's lives, rather than cropping up because of a new type of existential crisis. Still, I can't help but think that this particular feeling of powerlessness in the face of the larger forces that shape our lives is new to this century. But maybe I'm giving too much value to the perceived uniqueness of modern life. I wish there was a real-life Highlander or something, who could tell us with authority what people were like 200 years ago or so.
Happy birthday, bostoniangirl. May you get lots of tea in your harbor. Or Tia, if that's your kind of party.
Joe, I wouldn't trust the memory of such a Highlander more than I would trust historical documents. Human memory sucks, and who knows how it would react to being alive for hundreds of years? But I do agree that the general feeling of powerless and alienation general to the population is an essentially modern phenomenon. After all, that's where postmodernism came from. Medieval religious beliefs saw the universe as very structured, ordered, and hierarchical. Everything had meaning. I'm not sure about the historical far east, though, or Africa.
I remember when I saw the movie I was very jealous of Highlander, in that he bought real estate in New York in, like, 1710, and could just watch it appreciate until the present day.
I started looking at 43folders regularly about a month or so ago to deal with procrastination. So I've been leeching GTD ideas. Got my clip of index cards (hand-formatted) and everything, and I'm feeling more productive.
But I think that #33 is spot on. Thinking about this stuff made me realize I was procrastinating becuase I didn't really have a good idea of what I wanted to do. So I didn't really want to do anything. I'm working on fixing this with some success.
I think keeping track of the GTD things was most effective for me in making me actually think about what I wanted to do on a regular basis. And why. Now I'm trying to get the right balance between meta-stuff and doing-stuff.
Oy. Bought the book and read parts of it. Pretty good, I think. But it can't really promise you salvation. As for software programs - and this is GTD related - I love Ecco Pro. It's a bit of a pain in the ass, a little intimidating, unsupported, and hasn't been developed at all in the last 8 years. It's still the best PIM available by a long shot. And there are a few GTD-type templates that people have developed for it. I am a total convert, and I think i may have tried every PIM/Planner (inc., I am ashamed to admit, MS Project - massive overkill) on the face of the earth.
I've never known anyone who uses a Mac (academics and "artists") to need to keep track of his or her schedule, so I'm probably not the best person to ask. Sorry.
Figuring out what you want to do is harder. Especially because it keeps changing. I've been working on it a lot lately (probably why I'm suddenly so verbose). I think taking some time out to just consider such things helps you figure it out, but slowly rather than as an immediate payoff.
GTD is a good book for you, then, LB, in that it extensively deals with the process of defining what projects you want to do and what the next actions for those projects are. Of course, the fact that it asks for a two-day upfront investment of time from people who are already struggling to get things done seems a little impractical. I read it over the summer and the only thing I've managed to incorporate into my daily worklife is the use of a label-maker to label my files.
I'm reluctant to buy a glossy corporate-style self-help book with a picture of the author on the cover—there's a very real danger such books will choke all other forms of literature out of the bookstore ecosystem entirely. So I did what I always do in these situations: I went to the library.
...
What I found at the library was not David Allen's GTD, but another book on exactly the same subject, with exactly the same title, published in 1938: Getting Things Done, or G.T.D., by Captain P.R. Creed. Rock! Now I can get organized and read a musty old library book—two of my favorite activities—at the same time. How's that for GTD?
No, but I liked these 7 habits of highly successful people (via kottke).
Posted by cw | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 9:31 AM
That's pretty funny. Reminds me of the line in Wedding Crashers where Vince Vaughn says that "sailing is like sex to these people."
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 9:33 AM
In a non-funny vein. Am I the only person who occasionally gets so overwhelmed by anxiety that you just shut down, can't focus on what you're doing. It's really frustrating, because every time it happens, I vow that I won't take on too much. But then I wind up doing too little and am bored. I've never found a happy medium.
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 9:53 AM
I've never found a happy medium.
Here ya go.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 9:55 AM
And does anyone know of good software to help with organization of one's non-computer stuff?
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 9:58 AM
Apo, that was great. It made me smile.
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 10:01 AM
Sorry to double post, but I just wanted to add that the guy's got a web site with a blog and everything.
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 10:05 AM
BG, my girlfriend suffers from the same malady. For her, only physically getting out of town does any good.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 10:14 AM
I have heard of it. Many recommend it.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 10:25 AM
On productivity--when my sister was writing her dissertation, she found the book The Clockwork Muse very helpful. It's about managing your time and producing on a schedule when you have a long, open-ended writing project. She keeps thrusting it on people, telling them it solved all her problems.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 10:25 AM
I get pretty ineffective sometimes, though I often muddle through with the things that have to be done right now. (For instance, I was completely unable to concentrate on my prep last night and woke up before 6 am to prepare my slides for today's class. Fun!)
The notion of a guy who talks about Getting Things Done and has a blog beggars belief.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 10:27 AM
It was on LibraryThing's top 25 most-owned books (#25) until a few days ago.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 10:28 AM
Hammersley gets things done.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 10:29 AM
This is funny, but sad and true. But I bought a copy of GTD a year and a half ago because I was overwhelmed in a manner similar to bostoniangirl.
True to form, I've never gotten around to reading it yet. Talk about taking the first action step...
Posted by Rich | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 10:30 AM
I'm interested in reviews of Clockwork Muse, now.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 10:32 AM
What are the top 25 most-pwned books?
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 10:32 AM
Yeah, I agree that it's pretty funny, but he's trying to sell his services. So, why not?
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 10:32 AM
My wife is a big fan of GTD. Having only skimmed the book myself and picked up the odd hint from her, I can only say that the book is a relatively inexpensive way to get lots of good advice on being more productive. (Inexpensive, say, in comparison to attending one of his seminars.) You can get most of the same advice for free online, from sites run by GTD cultists. Try starting at 43 Folders.
Posted by Christopher Conway | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 10:33 AM
Oh, is that what that site's about? Thanks!
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 10:35 AM
If anyone has other books that they recommend highly, please feel free to e-mail me. My parents were both incredibly disorganized, and it's only through sheer force of will that I've managed to impose any order at all. Ways to make that easier are always much appreciated.
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 10:37 AM
Hammersley gets things done.
My god, what a fucking slacker I am.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 10:38 AM
Agreed that it does sound reasonable and I could use a does. I mock because I envy.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 10:42 AM
I'm going to go pay the rent now and let you all tear that one to shreds.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 10:43 AM
I'm skeptical of the GTD phenomenon because the evangelism for some of its techniques willfully ignores the reality of the solutions. Take the Hipster PDA, for example. Someone -- kottke or haughey or one of the boingers, I think -- started this meme where he wrote important addresses and phone numbers on a 3x5 index card and called it a Hipster PDA. That in itself is pretty funny. What's not funny is that it begat a six-month (and counting) frenzy of people devising intricate formatted 3x5 address book pages, calendars, and to-do lists to be bound together into one's own customized Hipster PDA. That's not funny. That's not even a Hipster PDA! It's just a bunch of index cards connected by a binder clip. And just by calling it GTD, people think it's some magical solution to a problem.
Then again, the self-help book section at most book stores is like the 3rd biggest section, so there's obviously a market in telling people "you need a complex solution to a simple problem."
Posted by diddy | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 10:45 AM
Ray Smuckles gets things done.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 10:52 AM
I wish someone smart would look at the whole time-management issue. It's pretty clear that in a lot of ways, humans aren't really wired to live in the kind of world they're created. I'm sure there are a lot of insights into how our minds work buried in self-help books, and the question of how much a time-management program needs to be quasi-religious in order to get people to change their habits is pretty fascinating.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 10:52 AM
I don't think that really happened, Ben.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 10:55 AM
Ogged, that was more insightful than any comment baa has ever made.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 10:56 AM
I was meant to be rich, with a personal secretary, a nanny, a housekeeper and a cook, but it's never going to happen.
I was also meant to work 40 hours per week on job stuff and then spend the rest of my time on community stuff. That is, however, incompatible with being rich enough to afford help.
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 10:57 AM
I like the book, although think the fandom/fanaticism is a little hard to understand, as are the high-priced seminars.
What's the best about the book is his understanding of human nature, and why we leave things undone, and how we feel about those things we leave undone. There is a tremendous feeling of relief from tackling those things, and from a couple of the approaches he recommends to dealing with things in an ongoing way.
But I've read the book twice, and each time adopted only parts of his system, and those only for a little while. So I don't know if it's really a simple solution for very much. I'm left with the sense that if I used it, really and truly, it would be a sensible and good system for managing stuff.
Posted by scheherazade | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 10:57 AM
Why the h8ing on baa?
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 10:59 AM
baa's the gold standard around here for insightfulness. But, he votes Bush. This requires hating on.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 11:00 AM
Yeah, Sherry, as I contemplate buying the book, I'm wondering how much I truly want to get things done, and how much procrastinating and having things hanging over my head satisfy some need I don't understand. Which is to say, I'd guess that books like this work much better for people who don't know how to organize themselves than for people who can't bring themselves to.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 11:01 AM
Joe, I don't know if you were around, but a while ago I made a big mistake and called baa the "most incisive" commenter, and no one has forgiven me (or him) since.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 11:02 AM
If I weren't afraid it would take me through an hour of traffic, I would drive over to the bookstore to look it over. Oh wait, there's another bookstore closer by which I rarely use. Nevermind.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 11:03 AM
Ah, ok.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 11:03 AM
I don't think that really happened, Ben.
I'm rather positive it didn't, myself.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 11:04 AM
At first, I thought this post was sarcastic.
Anyway, Merlin Mann of 43folders started the hipster pda thing. His site and wiki are really interesting.
Posted by tara | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 11:04 AM
What I'd like to see is a book called "Putting Things Off" that explained how to minimize consequences for not doing those things that you know you should do and could do and will be relieved once you have done but just somehow can't bring yourself to do.
Posted by scheherazade | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 11:05 AM
I'm always in earnest, tara.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 11:05 AM
I know ogged which makes it kinda funny to me.
Posted by tara | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 11:09 AM
Putting Things Off
1. Acquire one-way ticket to Tibet.
2. Plan next trip.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 11:09 AM
Putting Things Off.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 11:12 AM
how to minimize consequences
I think I could write a book about this. Or, I know that I could write it, should write it, and would be relieved if I wrote it, but I can't bring myself to do it.
Pity.
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 11:13 AM
Simply knowing that you could do it is basically doing it, anyway.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 11:15 AM
Gaiman's Dreaming world had an expansive library of books which authors never got around to writing. A neat concept.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 11:17 AM
Re: 43 -- love it. Thanks, Ben.
Posted by scheherazade | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 11:20 AM
Also, re 26, I've thought that about a lot of our human endeavors. In the big-picture sense, in order for us to sustain this massive machine we've built, the vast majorityof people are required to do jobs they don't like, as literal cogs in the machine. If everyone really followed their colorful parachute or whatever, the whole system would collapse, because we'd have an abundance of bad poets and handbag designers, but no one to sit in the cubes and crunch the numbers. It's an extremely inhumane setup, especially because of the lies required to sustain it ("You are special! You can be anything your heart desires!")
I honestly do believe that the rise of mental disorders (along with our recognition and naming of these mental disorders) is a result of knowing, deep down, that you're a very, very small part of a very, very big machine and your purpose is to turn your little crank until you die. For the most part, we wouldn't need ritalin and paxil and whatever else to get through the day, if we were part of a smaller system in which everyone's role seemed valuable and essential. But that's not going to happen anytime soon, unless you believe the dire predictions of the Kunstlers of the world. (Which I sort of do.)
It's frustrating; no one knows what the purpose of their lives is anymore. I mean, it can't be to make speadsheets for an insurance company, can it? That's not a "life purpose." So we put in terrible hours to pay for two weeks of respite a year, and dream of the day, 30 years down the road, when we can finally excuse ourselves from the treadmill. It's no way to live a life, and yet it's absolutely essential to the well-being of our great societal machine that the vast majority of people continue. So we look to things like television to tell us how to achieve "meaning" and "purpose", believing the ads that instruct us to free our spirit with the new Chevy Tahoe or something. Consuming and consuming because we don't kow how else to define our own happiness.
This stuff really gets me down when I start to dwell on it.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 11:22 AM
Time to move to France.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 11:23 AM
Tell me about it.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 11:24 AM
No spreadsheets in France?
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 11:25 AM
A 35-hour workweek and scads of vacation? Why doesn't everyone move to civilized countries?
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 11:25 AM
No spreadsheets in France?
They mostly spread other things, like cheese and syphilis.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 11:29 AM
I would have applied for grad programs abroad, because I love Europe so much. I could easily see myself at Oxbridge, going to evening prayer every day, but I lacked the passion for any one discipline. I didn't want to accomplish anything in particular. I just wanted to be a certain sort of person surrounded by clever people with beautiful gardens.
If anyone knows of a way--without being an investment banker--to get a visa to work in Europe, please feel free to share.
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 11:30 AM
be a corporate transactions lawyer.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 11:38 AM
I can't work that hard.
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 11:53 AM
Get a diplomatic appointment.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 11:54 AM
You could marry me.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 11:57 AM
How do you do that without being a Republican? Also, my parents live abroad, in the Caribbean. I've heard that having family abroad can screw up your chances.
I'd be a bad ambassador. The foreigners would love me, but I'd run the risk of going native. I wouldn't be a good advocate for the U.S., because I tend to think that we're bullies and generally in the wrong.
I feel so much more at home when I'm abroad. It's a weird state, and it makes me feel guilty. There's something sort of pathetic about Anglophiles. Is it affected or real?
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 11:59 AM
"How to Win Friends and Influence People" is a good book too. Most of the things the book says are clearly correct.
The best thing about the book is that it isn't about positive thinking or changing your personality. It just gives techniques for interacting with other people. It is pleasingly superficial.
You can get an older editions from ABEBOOKS that includes chapters that have been removed from newer editions. One removed chapter that concerns the importance of sexual compatability for marriages and recommends sex guides.
Posted by Joe O | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 11:59 AM
ac--I'm not planning to take you up on your suggestion, but where are you?
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:02 PM
It's frustrating; no one knows what the purpose of their lives is anymore.
I don't know that it's that much worse than it's ever been since societies got bigger than small egalitarian bands. What was the society in which people knew what the purpose of their lives was? The purpose of my life is to subsistence farm to attempt to stave off death from exhaustion at 40? The purpose of my life is to grind mill for the feudal lord, and I'll get my reward in Heaven?
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:04 PM
NYC. But I can work in Europe.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:04 PM
can I get in on this marriage? so long as we are in europe, I'll bet it would fly.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:10 PM
I'm not really marriagable material, text. My family is too crazy.
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:11 PM
Why doesn't everyone move to civilized countries?
Because a barbarian who moves to a civilized country finds out that he is still a barbarian. In my admittedly limited experience, this is an occasionally unpleasant sensation; ymmv.
NB: if the barbarians in question are Anglophile USians who adopt a British accent, they seem more rather than less barbaric.
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:12 PM
I called dibs!
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:15 PM
well you let me down easy, bg, so thanks. ac?
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:16 PM
well I guess we've got to have a duel or something.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:17 PM
Oh I'd never try to adopt a British accent. I speak pretty much standard American with a few New England-isms, e.g., aunt NOT = ant.
I think mid-atlantic accents are nice, although totally unnatural.
A big reason why people don't move to civilized countries is that the civilized countries don't want us.
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:18 PM
the civilized countries don't want us.
What I was trying to say, only less well.
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:21 PM
Some people have a way with words, others ... not have way, I guess.
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:21 PM
I'll meet you at dawn at the town square, text.
Wait, never mind, I think we both know where the other lives. I'll meet you at Ogged's house. Then we can PARTY!
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:23 PM
I'm not really marriagable material, text. My family is too crazy.
This in no way disqualifies you. Trust me on this one.
Posted by My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:23 PM
Well, My Alter Ego, I would never marry someone whose family is as crazy as mine. Stability is a wonderful thing.
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:24 PM
So what you do is find a marriage partner from a non-crazy family. Not having had direct, personal experience of how crazy crazy families can really be, they will have no idea what they've gotten themselves into until it's too late! Mwahahaha!
Posted by My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:28 PM
Ogged's house it is! I'll bring the kiddie pool.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:30 PM
The kiddie pool is for … gin?
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:32 PM
I'll bring the typing pool.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:32 PM
Yeah, yeah I know. I'd feel sort of like I was deceiving someone.
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:32 PM
The kiddie pool is for jello wrestling.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:34 PM
the kiddie pool is where I stir my bath, sitting with weighty gams. And for gin.
The fun part is when my zebra stripes swell to maculate giraffes.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:36 PM
and jello wrestling.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:36 PM
Speaking of marriage, as Ogged did the other day somewhere, how many of your friends are all pairing up. I turned 30 today, and I realized that when my mother was 30, she had a two-year old.
I'm not sure that I even want kids, but I do feel sort of behind---even though I always told myself that it was important to want to marry some one person rather than simply feeling that you had to get married.
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:36 PM
The party at ogged's house is way debauched.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:36 PM
Debauchery is good. In college, we had a debauchery dance.
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:38 PM
I'm not sure that I even want kids, but I do feel sort of behind
Move to NYC. I had my first at 27, and felt like an unmarried teen. All the other women in the playground with their toddlers were 40.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:39 PM
And I'm all in favor of debauchery.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:40 PM
I've got a debauchery dance, as I will perform at ogged's house.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:40 PM
Happy Birthday!
You get the first turn at jello wrestling!
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:41 PM
Thanks Tia. I'm going out tonight with a friend of mine who works for a law firm where she can get off. She only works about 65 hours per week, unlike poor Lizard Breath; her firm is slow to hire and doesn't lay people off.
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:43 PM
I hear Boston is also more relaxed than NYC (assuming that your moniker accurately describes your location.)
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:44 PM
a friend of mine who works for a law firm where she can get off
Is this what they mean by "lifestyle firm"?
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:45 PM
on the contrary, sounds like quite the sweat shop.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:47 PM
Happy Birthday bg!!!
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:48 PM
My birthday is next Tuesday. It's a common time to have a birthday, I guess because of all the New Year's sex.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:48 PM
(assuming that your moniker accurately describes your location.)
It does. My friend is from D.C. and went to law school at NYU, but she chose to move back to Boston, because she watched her law school roommate, a French woman in the L.L.M. program at NYU, live the life of a New York associate, and she knew it was not for her.
She does real estate stuff.
Is this what they mean by "lifestyle firm"?
I meant to write "get off from work," but of course the unfogged readership would see alternate meanings.
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:51 PM
well happy birthday to bg, and happy almost-birthday to tia. Now fight it out in the jello.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:52 PM
What was the society in which people knew what the purpose of their lives was? The purpose of my life is to subsistence farm to attempt to stave off death from exhaustion at 40? The purpose of my life is to grind mill for the feudal lord, and I'll get my reward in Heaven?
I get the sense that the struggle for survival for onself and one's family is rather meaninful. It's in a sense the most real of accomplishments. And, if you really believe in heaven and the order of things, then yeah, there's a certain comfort in knowing one's place in the universe. And being loved by god and watched by angels and envied by demons sorta takes the edge off mendacity. Oh, and there's fighting each other. I was just reading some Gogol the other night, and his Cossack character was lamenting the loss of meaning now that he didn't have pollacks and turks to kill.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:52 PM
That's funny -- early August/late July birthdays run in my family. I guess it depends on which works better for you -- champagne or silly costumes.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:53 PM
I have to fight it out in agar agar. Can I bring an extra kiddie pool?
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:53 PM
blame not he who plucketh fruit that hangeth low, but the one who hung the fruit so very low, that is the one ripe for punishment.
It's in Leviticus.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:54 PM
(my b-day's tomorrow.)
(i wasn't conceived on new year's.)
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:54 PM
Thanks all.
text--I think she's got a lot of work now, because they thought that these would be lean years, hired accordingly and found that they had a ton.
Anyway, she does work weekends sometimes, but the people are nice, and sher can meet people for things.
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:55 PM
My friend is from D.C. and went to law school at NYU,
What year? Although I didn't even know most of the people in my class, so there's no real point in asking.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:55 PM
I'm a mid-late July. Happy Halloween.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:56 PM
I have to fight it out in agar agar.
Mud's vegan -- would that be an acceptable compromise?
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:56 PM
Did you all know that it's also Michaelmas today, the Feast of St. Michael and all the Angels? If one has to have a funny September birthday, i think that's a good holiday to have it on.
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:57 PM
We were H-R class of 97, and she went straight away. So 2000.
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:58 PM
I meant my comment in the same way as Standpipe. Sweating! Getting Off! Ho Ho!
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:58 PM
mud is an acceptable alternative. also, vegetable oil.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 12:59 PM
I should clarify the flippant last part of my 99, since I think Gogol is a terrific judge of human character and I wouldn't want to misrepresent him. The Cossack (Master Danilo) didn't simply lament the loss of his chance to kill (or carouse, as he called it), but the brotherhood that such activity brought about. What Danillo missed was fairly robust: living life as if one might lose at tomorrow, fighting for one's brothers and one's people, plundering objects (fine clothes and gold) which brought aesthetic pleasure, and of course, the sensual pleasures of women as one calmed down from the day's "carousing."
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 1:00 PM
A year after me -- odds are I don't know her.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 1:00 PM
I get the sense that the struggle for survival for onself and one's family is rather meaningful
I know, I guess I was just saying that the meaning most historical societies have dispensed to their memebers is overrated. The people I mentioned had a clear sense of purpose, but in one case, survival with very little room for anything else was that purpose, and in other, the meaning they found was awful convenient for the exploiter class. I am a secretary who's miserable in her job, but I get to start on the long road to becoming a psychologist in January, but even if I had to be this miserable secretary forever and ever, I'd have opportunities to read, draw, write, go to museums, eat a variety of foods, see movies, work to improve my community, and travel that would have been unthinkable throughout most of history. (I would die young without health insurance though.) As a matter of fact, I should quit my whining. Just writing this comment has made me feel better about my work situation, which had been really expanding its tentacles into the rest of my life. Thank you, Unfogged.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 1:19 PM
Bostoniangirl, it varies from country to country, I'm not sure by how much, but at least in the Netherlands most USians can simply move to the country, and live there as long as they want. You simply apply for a residence permit when you get there, and I think there's not much that would get you denied for one. The hard part is finding work. First you have to get someone to hire you, and foreigners by law get second pickings in the job market, and then your potential employer has to apply on your behalf for a work permit. I have no idea how difficult it is to find employment as a foreigner there, but knowing the local language is of course going to be a *big* advantage, and I hear (besides investment banking,) that technical skill, like computer programming, has been in increased demand, though that may be outdated info.
Posted by pdf23ds | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 1:22 PM
Tia--the health insurance thing is so awful. Damn, I wish that it were easier to change the system. I'm trying to do my bit in Mass, but a real solution needs to come at the Federal level. I hate that the Dems are so wimpy on this.
I mean they all say that they believe in it, but they never fight for it. They don't have a clear, simple plan that they'll sell to voters.
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 1:25 PM
Also I hear it's hard to find housing in the Netherlands because it's so densely populated, though a resident of Boston or NYC or some such metro area will probably find it to be similar.
About the meaning thing. I think the biggest source of meaning people find is in raising children. It's really a very creative and wonderful act. Human lives are truly marvelous, and creating and shaping one can be very fulfilling. Also, religion. And more recently, technological/scientific meliorism (i.e. optimism) is a big one. See, for instance, the Extropian movement.
Posted by pdf23ds | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 1:25 PM
I see your point, Tia, especially when it comes to self-medication simply replacing religion in most people's lives, rather than cropping up because of a new type of existential crisis. Still, I can't help but think that this particular feeling of powerlessness in the face of the larger forces that shape our lives is new to this century. But maybe I'm giving too much value to the perceived uniqueness of modern life. I wish there was a real-life Highlander or something, who could tell us with authority what people were like 200 years ago or so.
Happy birthday, bostoniangirl. May you get lots of tea in your harbor. Or Tia, if that's your kind of party.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 1:26 PM
Joe, I wouldn't trust the memory of such a Highlander more than I would trust historical documents. Human memory sucks, and who knows how it would react to being alive for hundreds of years? But I do agree that the general feeling of powerless and alienation general to the population is an essentially modern phenomenon. After all, that's where postmodernism came from. Medieval religious beliefs saw the universe as very structured, ordered, and hierarchical. Everything had meaning. I'm not sure about the historical far east, though, or Africa.
Posted by Anonymous | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 1:30 PM
119 was me.
Posted by pdf23ds | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 1:30 PM
I'm not sure about the historical far east, though, or Africa.
Who cares about them, though?
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 1:32 PM
I remember when I saw the movie I was very jealous of Highlander, in that he bought real estate in New York in, like, 1710, and could just watch it appreciate until the present day.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 1:36 PM
That's basically what Trinity Church did. They own most of Wall Street.
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 1:39 PM
being Highlander would be nice, but I'd rather be able to stop and/or reverse time, retaining my current life span.
Besides, you have to always be chopping people with your sword, because there can be only one, and all that.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 1:44 PM
Happy birthdays, BG, Tia, and Michael.
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 1:52 PM
I just want to be able to peek down after I die to see how humanity/my loved ones is/are doing.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 1:56 PM
The best I can hope for is to peek up.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 1:59 PM
Peek up what, exactly?
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 2:14 PM
The side of your pants leg, to count your belts.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 2:18 PM
From hell. The hoary netherworld.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 2:20 PM
From hell.
Where each circle is a fallen Weinerbelt.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 2:23 PM
Weiner, I didn't dare to ask that question, but I was wondering the same thing.
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 2:27 PM
Sigh.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 2:29 PM
*delurking*
I started looking at 43folders regularly about a month or so ago to deal with procrastination. So I've been leeching GTD ideas. Got my clip of index cards (hand-formatted) and everything, and I'm feeling more productive.
But I think that #33 is spot on. Thinking about this stuff made me realize I was procrastinating becuase I didn't really have a good idea of what I wanted to do. So I didn't really want to do anything. I'm working on fixing this with some success.
I think keeping track of the GTD things was most effective for me in making me actually think about what I wanted to do on a regular basis. And why. Now I'm trying to get the right balance between meta-stuff and doing-stuff.
Posted by enigmania | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 2:41 PM
Oh, hey, 33 was mine! Thanks for delurking!
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 2:46 PM
Oy. Bought the book and read parts of it. Pretty good, I think. But it can't really promise you salvation. As for software programs - and this is GTD related - I love Ecco Pro. It's a bit of a pain in the ass, a little intimidating, unsupported, and hasn't been developed at all in the last 8 years. It's still the best PIM available by a long shot. And there are a few GTD-type templates that people have developed for it. I am a total convert, and I think i may have tried every PIM/Planner (inc., I am ashamed to admit, MS Project - massive overkill) on the face of the earth.
OTOH, I remain pretty disorganized.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 2:54 PM
Anything available for the Mac? All their stuff is Windows-Outlook centric.
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 3:02 PM
I've never known anyone who uses a Mac (academics and "artists") to need to keep track of his or her schedule, so I'm probably not the best person to ask. Sorry.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 3:13 PM
I use a Mac, and I'm neither an academic or an artist. But i don't keep track of my shit. Not that I don't need to. But iCal is supposed to work well.
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 3:20 PM
Yglesias is a mac user too.
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 3:30 PM
I use a mac! But I'm a physicist. And so far my org stuff is texts lists, calendar, and index cards, instead of specific software.
From what I've read GTD kind of assumes you already know what you want to do, and gets to the practical methods for doing it.
Posted by enigmania | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 4:52 PM
I use a Mac. And I'm pitifully disorganized.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 5:09 PM
GTD kind of assumes you already know what you want to do, and gets to the practical methods for doing it.
Yeah. See, if I knew that, I'd be organized.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 5:11 PM
Figuring out what you want to do is harder. Especially because it keeps changing. I've been working on it a lot lately (probably why I'm suddenly so verbose). I think taking some time out to just consider such things helps you figure it out, but slowly rather than as an immediate payoff.
Posted by enigmania | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 5:31 PM
GTD is a good book for you, then, LB, in that it extensively deals with the process of defining what projects you want to do and what the next actions for those projects are. Of course, the fact that it asks for a two-day upfront investment of time from people who are already struggling to get things done seems a little impractical. I read it over the summer and the only thing I've managed to incorporate into my daily worklife is the use of a label-maker to label my files.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 5:48 PM
I'd just like to note that today is also my birthday. I'm 21. That is all.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 6:12 PM
Congratulations. Go drink heavily, preferably someplace where you've previously used a fake ID.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 6:49 PM
Thanks. Unfortunately I have never actually used a fake ID, so that plan wouldn't really work. I did buy some beer, though.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 7:24 PM
Happy Birthday teofilo!! I hope you bought good beer, because 21 calls for good alcohol.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 9:00 PM
Moosehead. I'm drinking one right now.
(And thanks.)
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 9:46 PM
Happy Belated Birthday teofilo.
Chopper, what kind of label machine did you get?
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 9:58 PM
Likewise, bg.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 09-29-05 10:48 PM
I'm a fan of the LabelDominator2000, myself.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 09-30-05 9:48 AM
I got the Brother machine that was in the office supply catalog.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 09-30-05 10:21 AM
LabelDominator2000
That doesn't have nearly the torque and horsepower I require. You should try the LabelViking; it'll change your life.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 09-30-05 10:32 AM
Does the LabelViking make juice too?
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 09-30-05 10:36 AM
Yes, from the fruits of its pillages.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 09-30-05 10:43 AM
...
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 10-14-05 8:22 PM