Re: And I Can Levitate

1

Whatever, hippy.

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2

The "pwn vaya mudra"? I bet it works.

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3

Here's the thing, though. None of my friends do yoga. None of my coworkers do yoga. Nevertheless, all of my friends and colleagues insist that nowadays "everyone" -- or at least all of our sort of people -- does yoga. I'm starting to think that, in fact, nobody does yoga.

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4

It's time for an Unfogged poll. My impression is that hot young things in jobs like PR and Marketing do yoga. We'll see.

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5

See? Matt never listens. Just today I argued that nobody does yoga, and it's all a big myth -- my guess would've been less than 1% of the pop. And I'm Californian who's lived in the extra crunchy zones of the NorCal, so I've got credibility here. Damn elders...

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6

Everyone I know does yoga. Friends of mine take yoga vacations.

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7

See, and I just know that ac's friends are hot young things. But, but, dear ac, how many of your friends actually do yoga? I think yoga is one of those mainstream exotic activities where 7% can seem like "everyone."

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8

The poll is up, by the way.

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9

Ezra, you're not seriously suggesting that no one in Northern California does yoga?

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10

One more thing: I'd guess that very few people do yoga before their late 20's and early 30's, because until then, your body basically just works. Things start to go awry a few years later, and everyone freaks out and starts some kind of regimen.

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11

I'll take this thread to 100 by myself if I have to.

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12

I hate to horn in now that Ogged is finally on a flirtation that shows some promise, but though I never have done yoga lots of people I know in Pittsburgh do. Including, as Ben would say, MY MOM.

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13

I went to yoga tonight, in fact. I'm just getting back to it after about a year-long hiatus. I quit going after my awesome original instructor quit and was replaced by this Kegel-obsessed weirdo. (Seriously, there's "comfortable with your body" and then there's "has issues".) Kegel-dude finally quit so I'm back.

It's weird -- I can do the harder poses but I can't do the basic ones. I can't do child's pose to save my life (my hips just won't release that way) but I can do stuff like this no problem. I've had three different instructors since coming back and every time the same thing happens: they watch me during the easy-pose warmup (which I suck at) to gauge my level, freak out and plant themselves near me because they think I'm going to be a complete spaz, and then look visibly shocked when I pull out a decent sun salutation.

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14

I'm on a flirtation? Shweet. Yglesias, pick me up at 11.

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15

I was thinking of comments 7 through 11.

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16

That's not nice, Matt.

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17

Hey, I can do those! (But of course I'm too manly to have actually tried them just now. It's just a guess that the camel pose kinda hurt, and I probably should have stretched first.) In other news, Becks, after we buy that house together, let's have sex.

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18

No, I'm really in yogaville. They all freakin' do it, even my straight male friends. I once had a party where my violist friend came up to me and said, "They're like pod people with the yoga. We're the last ones left." And she and I now do it, too.

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19

I categorically refuse to believe these reports of widespread yoga-ing. Becks is lying. I live around the corner from a yoga place (what do you call them?) and nobody ever goes in or out of it. There's more traffic at the all-black Freemasons' lodge across the street, and it's well known that there haven't been any Freemasons since the 1820s. A friend of mine once insisted for several weeks that she was about to start yoga-ing, but somehow it never happened. The whole thing is mythical.

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20

Sorry Matt Y, given 17, I'm obligated to defend Becks' honor: I think we have insufficient evidence to determine whether she's lying. ac, on the other hand, couldn't tell the truth about yoga to save a puppy's life.

(I think they're called yoga studios.)

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21

Matt, I've seen Freemasons going into that place. I was using the ATM in their anteroom at the time, and got lots of confused and/or dirty looks.

I have never done yoga, but my mom was really into it when I was a kid. I actually got dragged to an Ashram for about half a week. I spent the time sulking and developing a deep hostility toward alternative medicine.

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22

and then look visibly shocked when I pull out a decent sun salutation

I don't know what that is, but please warn us first if you do it anywhere near the blog. I generally like to know why I'm, say, trembling.

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23

The sun salutation.

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24

Well, Ogged, since you'll just be down the hall, I'll take it under consideration. And when the standard to beat is "She doesn't do her thing particularly well. In fact, she seems like she's slumming, and her heart isn't always in it." the pressure's kind of off.

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25

How Yglesias could grow up in the Village and doubt the prevalence of yoga is beyond me. He's the liar.

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26

Of course you're right.

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27

Don't tell me you're already whipped by the consideration of sex?

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28

I told you 7-11 was the way to go.

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29

Whipped? Me? Of course not. Just calling 'em like I see 'em. (I can drop even more syllables if you think it'll make look more resolute.)

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30

I tried the apan vaya mudra and I felt giddy. Is that supposed to happen?

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31

Are you serious, SB?

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32

Not a lot giddy. Maybe it was the power of suggestion.

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33

I really like Yoga. I was totally unathletic as a child. I eased into it when I was 20 over the summer, and then I got an instructor in college who was into ashtanga, and I got hooked. I liked the flow combined with the breathing. If I try to run, I spend all of my time thinking about how much I don't like what I'm doing, but with my iujaii breathing and knowing which poses are coming I really like ashtanga.

I highly recommend David Swenson's Short Forms. There's a 15 min, 30 mion and 45 min. workout for when you don't have time for the whole series.

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34

I do yoga.

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35

No you don't.

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36

I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I couldn't do yoga and also be named Kriston.

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37

You couldn't do it and be named Armsmasher, either.

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38

I think that actually might perfectly capture how yoga would work out for me.

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39

-So, why do they call you Armsmasher?

-Because I have a girl's name and hurt myself doing yoga.

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40

But I do know lots of people who do yoga.

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41

It's the similar to the funny feeling I get when I cross my arms in front of me, rotate my palms 180 degrees to face each other, clasp my hands together with fingers interlocked, trace with my knuckles an arc towards me clockwise from 3 to 12, choose a finger by sight, and then try to wiggle it. The wrong finger wiggles! In this case there's no wiggling, but there's the same acute consciousness of limb/digit articulation.

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42

Yglesias does yoga, doesn't he?

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43

I must say -- the straight guys one meets at the yoga studios? 99% weirdos.

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44

Unlike the guys one meets on the Internets.

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45

Yglesias? I'm sure the yoga goes well with his smoking.

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46

SB, I know what you mean! But you can still do it! Look at your finger and figure out in advance which it is: say to yourself, eg, "that's my left ring finger"--and voila! you'll move the right one.

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47

The correct one?

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48

Yes, the correct one; don't Wolfson me when I'm trying to help.

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49

Excellent. I just flipped myself the bird.

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50

It works, eh?

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51

I concede that 47 was not really Wolfsoning, as my comment was ambiguous.

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52

It works. Now it is no longer magic. Thanks a lot.

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53

re 45: yoga and smoking don't mix? Or is it just that smokers don't much yogue?

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54

Sorry, SB. David Blaine's stuff is still all real, though.

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55

A capricious god allowed you to dunk at 15, and now you're talking about yoga. It makes me want to weep.

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56

A lot of farting goes on during yoga.

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57

Both. Yoga's all about breathing. The funny poses are just a bonus. I would also think that the universe of smokers would not have a big overlap with the universe of yogis for other reasons.

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58

I'm not sure I'm doing 41 right; I tried twice and got it both times.

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59

smokers n yogis = Yglesias

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60

Yoga is about breathing.

Smoking is about breathing.

Smoking is Yoga.

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61

I'm a social yogi—I only practice yoga when I'm drinking.

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62

Since SCMT is already hating on me, this is where I admit that Ex's mom is a yoga teacher, and I know all about yoga! Take that, Tim!

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63

I'm not sure I'm doing 41 right; I tried twice and got it both times.

A thief has taken your magic from you.

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64

I should go out with Ogged just so I could become The BEx.

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65

63: Probably the cat. I always suspected her.

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66

Becks, I like how you think.

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67

UPDATE: My magic has returned. I failed.

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68

Becks, the beauty of coincidence compels you.

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69

The truth is a thief, Bridgeplate.

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70

Ogged is finally getting the hang of flirting, excpet now he's being a little too ubiquitous.

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71

The truth is a thief, and our innocence is its booty.

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72

Michael, pick me up at 1.

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73

Now you're just a slut.

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74

All my booty is gone.

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75

Were I to go out at 1 and pick someone up, however, it would be you.

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76

I admit that Ex's mom is a yoga teacher

So, using the recently issued secret decoder ring, this post is really about getting some rhythm from Ex's mom. Nice, ogged. Really nice.

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77

When two forms in language intersect in a third, more pleasing form, so also should their referents.

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78

You lost me, SB.

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79

I was inspired by 64. But now I see that my little aphorism would demand the cobobulation of Becks and Ex. That's not what I was aiming for.

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80

I guess you're another vote against Bound, then.

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81

Maybe not what you were aiming for.

(or, me, either, i guess, since it hadn't occured to me.)

It seems like Yglesias is becoming a regular around here, so at one point he's going to have to take part in these late night comment sections. After that, the fruit basket.

Gawd I need to go study.

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82

anti-lesbian-encouraging does not equal anti-bound. I rented it to see it because it was a Wachowski film (i'm not going to look up the spelling. i'm busy.), but never made it all the way through.

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83

I'm not opposed, in principle, to hot action of any kind.

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84

What about hot principal action?

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85

I know a lot of people who do yoga and a couple of teachers. I even took a class about five years back that I enjoyed, but decided to focus on smoking instead.

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86

I meant only that I understood the goal to be a short-lived ogged and Becks relationship, simply for the wordplay it afforded. Lesbians are orthogonal.

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87

Mainly, I wanted to link to that thread so I could tell you that I saw Matt's post in my RSS reader, and clicked through so that I could make the "blow" joke, but Fontana had beaten me to it. So I came back here, made a Tom Hilde joke, went back to Matt's place, and saw that Labs had just made a Hilde joke. Sometimes, it's disturbing.

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88

What about hot principal action?

I'm not sure that much happens, but there sure has been a lot of hot young teacher action getting had by teenaged boys recently.

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89

Gah. I just tried this finger pose and it made it harder to breathe. Really.

Yoga never has that effect on me.

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90

Huh. Don't know what to say to that, pg.

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91

"I just tried this finger pose and it made it harder to breathe."

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92

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and opine that a 31-yr-old woman having an affair with a 16 yr-old boy does not qualify her as a "sec offender."

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93

That's not ashtanga.

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94

I just Googled Tom Hilde and realized Tom Hilde c'est moi: "I was living in DC (as I am now), but commuting to work at New York University (a few days in DC, a few days in NYC)." Ack.

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95

apos, that link doesn't work for me.

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96

"I just tried this finger pose and it made it harder to breathe."

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97

That's what I thought the apostropher's was going to be, but I was pleasantly surprised.

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98

Now I'm going to have a dream about Tom Hilde cruising Yglesias on the US Airways Shuttle.

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99

99!

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100

dream nightmare

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101

"I live around the corner from a yoga place (what do you call them?) and nobody ever goes in or out of it. "

That's the invisibility power, or perhaps the teleportation power.

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102

I didn't say it was inspired commenting.

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103

It's ok, it needed to be done.

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104

Yoga studio? No no no. Yojo.

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105

And the greatest practitioner is Usagi Yojo-limbo.

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106

apos, that link doesn't work for me

Really? Hmm. This one should.

"I just tried this finger pose and it made it harder to breathe."

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107

apo, I keep trying to post this as a comment on your site.

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108

Is my blacklist stopping it?

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109

500 error.

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110

sigh. That'll be fixed in a minute.

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111

A lot of the hot-for-teacher cases involve students from special-needs classes. Are these the bad boy classes?

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112

Maybe if those teachers had done more yoga they would have been sufficiently centered to stay out of that kind of trouble.

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113

Are we talkingabout Ms. Schmitz-LaTourneau again? Her victim was not special-needs.

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114

Maybe if those teachers had done more yoga they would have been sufficiently centered to stay out of that kind of trouble.

On the other hand, they would have been flexible enough to get into worse trouble.

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115

113: no, there's a new one named Tammy Imre.

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116

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