Re: At What Point Do I Regain My Virginity?

1

I'm touched that you said "despite."

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Who knows. Since you enjoyed it, it might have turned out to be nothing but two hours of raucous, atonal saxophone screeching and power drills.

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4

I had a friend who used to claim that three years was the point at which you returned to virginhood. She also claimed that she near that point herself, when I knew for a fact she wasn't, and wondered why she was lying about it. But that's another story.

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5

At What Point Do I Regain My Virginity?

If the TiVo dies before you reset it, that will make it official.

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6

Three years is much too short. Did your friend see this as a good or bad thing?

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7

Also, certain head injuries can restore your status. But I'd recommend going the other route first.

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8

Certain head injuries can make your status permanent.

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9

I know someone who lost their virginity due to a certain head injury.

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10

Did they ever find it again?

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11

No. I don't think she was aware that follow-up injury could do the trick.

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12

I know a girl who did an art project based on finding her virginity. She was pretty sure she knew where she was when she lost it, so she was going to try to track it down from there. I never heard how it turned out.

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13

I keep mine in a jar of olive oil.

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14

virginity-infused olive oil? I hope you used good quality EV oil, or else it won't turn out right.

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15

How do you think they get it "extra"?

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16

ben- a virgin is someone who has never, well, you know, and an "extra-virgin" is someone who has never even done, well, you know. It's a much more strict standard.

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17

someone who has never even done, well, you know.

baked cookies?

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18

"I wouldn't mind baking her cookies, if you catch my meaning!"

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19

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.

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How do you think they got up there, though? Drums are cylindrical, so you could probably just put them on their sides and roll them up. But a cymbal would be harder to balance with that procedure. I guess you could carry it. One thing's for certain; it couldn't carry you—try to ride a cymbal and you're likely to crash.

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21

You could carry it, the cliff isn't that high. Hats could be thrown atop it from the bass, it is so low.

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22

Then strike the high hat, if that will move her;

if you can flam high, flam for her too,

Till she cry "Lover, high-hatted, high-flamming lover,

I must diddle you!"

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23

"I wouldn't mind crashing a cymbal between her drums, if you catch my meaning!"

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24

So we beat drums, sticks against the tom-toms, with carnal experiences ceaselessly unlike the past.

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I must diddle you!

Paradiddle.

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Yeah, I was at that site recently. Like I would know what a flam is offhand.

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Ok, so I completely forgot that "diddle" is a drum term. Bad mind! Out of the gutter!

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28

That's ok, Matt. I had no idea it had any other meaning.

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29

Like I would know what a flam is offhand.

I was a band geek. Trombone, but lots of drummer buddies. If you replace the opening beat of the paradiddle with a flam it's called a flamadiddle, which reminds me of the joke about what you should do if your girlfriend starts smoking.

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30

Did your friend see this as a good or bad thing?

She is Indian, so I think the whole virginity thing was a much bigger deal.

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31

In Taiwan virginity-reconstruction surgery can be had -- look near Hsi-men-ting in Taipei.

Not for guys, though.

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