Re: Fear of heaps

1

How about this argument?

1. It's impossible to give principled reasons for shtupping one bad thing while continuing to do some other bad thing.

2. Thus, fuck them all.

I call it "Rears of sheeps".

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2

Rather than shtupping one bad thing, lately I've had to settle for getting down with my bad self.

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3

I never would have guessed that animal rights is as central to the Unfogged community as it apparently is.

My own opinion is that animals should be slaughtered humanely, except for annoying, smelly, viciously predatory animals like mink. The idea that mink deserve humane treatment offends me. They're a bunch of jerks -- they're weasels, in fact.

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4

While I agree about humane treatment of food animals, let's be realistic: bacon trumps morality.

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5

is there a "philosophy of bacon" school that i am ufamiliar with?

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6

FL,

In rhetorical circles I counter said argument with:

"The perfect is the enemy of the good."

In lesser settings I might intone:

"How conveeeeenient."

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7

Thanks for a new thread. The old one was getting overwhelming.

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8

Fur coats are OK with me, as long as the supermodel wearing the coat had an organic spiritual relationship with the constitutive mink, and tanned their little hides herself after killing them and skinning them with her own hands.

There's probably a book in this, based on the shaman songs of Athabaskan mink trappers.

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9

John,

I never would have guessed that animal rights is as central to the Unfogged community as it apparently is.

Well, you know, we do our best to attract hot younguns. The idealism seems to tag along.

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10

Re: attracting hot younguns -

I meant "for Ogged's sake," of course.

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11

I meant "for Ogged's sake," of course.

But Ogged's not really here to appreciate them just now.

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12

Probably there are scavengers around to pick up his leftovers.

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13

I stand firm against eating young people, even idealists.

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14

Even so, that's a very particular kind of frottage.

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15

to 13,

Hey, I'm aroused by taking principled positions too!

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16

Damn, I didn't see 14. I'll go back to the bathroom with Das Kapital now.

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17

High school cafeterias, beware!

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18

In Soviet Russia, book takes you.

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19

The bathroom is a fine place to study the means of production.

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20

Hey, I'm in a comment thread with cannibals. My frottage only harms trees. And the bourgeosie.

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21

I had a comment agreeing with Labs about the peeve--"Doing this thing would be better than doing this thing, so let's do neither," Daniel Davies, but it was boring. See if you can find one here.

Armsmasher: Are you defining "young" as below the age of consent? Because otherwise I really don't see what's wrong with it.

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22

No cannibals: compare "sleeping young people".

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23

Also I was really disturbed by the consensus that it was better to screw a chicken than screw the poor. I'd rather screw the poor, though not all at once.

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24

Well, I don't have a problem with eating children, before they're self aware.

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25

KARL FUCKING ROVE?!?!?!?!?!

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26

Is Matt biased against orgies for the poor?

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27

Also, is anyone else reading the post title as "Fear of Herpes"?

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28

"In the 1860s the age of consent was twelve years old. Some people such as Josephine Butler and Barbara Bodichon were concerned that young girls were being sold to brothels. They became involved in the campaign against the white slave trade and in 1875 the House of Commons agreed to raise the age of consent to thirteen."

http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/REage.htm

A pretty good example of gradualism there.

The age of consent has been rising at the rate of about three or four years per century. By 2300 AD the age of consent will have reached 30.

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29

Hold on there. What about Karl Rove?

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30

Historical background on the Biblical age of consent. You can't afford to miss this page.

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31

Hmm, John, that means the state of Kansas is less enlightened than the House of Commons was 125 years ago. But we knew that.

And what is the fun quote from The Mikado on that subject?

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32

By 2300 AD the age of consent will have reached 30.

Dude, seriously. On a Pandagon thread the other day Amanda got a bunch of people in high dudgeon about older men/women (consensually) "pawing" the 18 and 19 year olds.

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33

Hmmm, if I were fucking Karl Rove, I'd be fearing herpes. Or even if I were talking to him on the phone (and I know better than that).

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34

Mikado... ah, yes, something along the lines of:

"In Japan, women do not reach years of discretion until they are 80."

"True. From 18 to 80 are considered the years of indiscretion."

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35

And SB, I'm sorry I called you a cannibal. JE, however is guilty, guilty, guilty.

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36

25 to this, BTW, and I had thought it was more overt than it seems to be. Karl Rove, of course. Carry on.

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37

I note that you are all too sensible to defend the odious mink.

My 9-month-old grandnephew is cut as a bug and plump as a Rock Cornish Game Hen, and total strangers stop his mother on the street to tell her how tasty he looks.

We all agree. Eating your grandnephew would be wrong and fattening, but boy, would he be yummy!

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38

Deliciousness and cuteness may be the same thing experienced through different senses. Either that, or cruelty and savoriness are identical.

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39

Oh my god, it's Karl fucking Rove. Karl fucking Rove. Karl fucking Rove.

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40

I used to pay attention to the quality of my comments, but now I accept that some of them will never be perfect.

So now I don't pay attention to that at all.

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41

Eating young people, people. EATING young people. At the Mineshaft!

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42

"Cute as a bug".

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43

Dammit, Emerson, I was having fun imagining your pumped-up, buff, 9-month-old grandnephew.

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44

Hmm, I think there shouldn't be a comma after 'buff'. That always confuses me.

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45

Dammit, Emerson, I was having fun imagining your pumped-up, buff, 9-month-old grandnephew.

Also chitinous. I was definitely picturing chitin.

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46

What a thorax on that one.

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47

44, I know. In most circumstances I endorse the Harvard comma, but I want to say that "9-month-old" doesn't modify "grandnephew" so much as compound it. Chitinous is a good word.

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48

Mushrooms are almost chitin, except for a reversed OH group.

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49

Tia,

Dude, seriously. On a Pandagon thread the other day Amanda got a bunch of people in high dudgeon about older men/women (consensually) "pawing" the 18 and 19 year olds.

This time around I'm not going to get dragged into that one. As the resident old timer I'll simply allow the youth their prejudices.

Oh, and regarding ogged and his missing the younguns we attract - that's not my fault. Besides, it's good practice with or without him.

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50

I first read that as "mushrooms are almost chitlins," and couldn't figure out what the hell you meant.

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51

47--I don't think it's quite the Harvard comma--there's this whole vexed question of when to put commas between adjectives, which can happen with as few as two adjectives. (Sorry for the gratuitous, ridiculous grammarmongering.) I think you're right about the reason there shouldn't be a comma.

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52

I don't understand 48 anyway, btw.

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53

While I agree about humane treatment of food animals, let's be realistic: bacon trumps morality.

Bacon is morality.

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54

Veggie bacon is good.

Matt Whiner, it's just something I remember from my (biology?) textbook. It was comparing some molecules (glycogen?) and the molecular make-up of chitin and the outside of a mushroom was the same except for a reversed hydroxide group.

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55

I think turkey bacon is better than pork bacon.

In fact, I like to eat turkey bacon while watching the Spurs play.

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56

Veggie bacon is good.

But it is not bacon.

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57

Just so you know, Tripp, they're not my prejudices (if it was Amanda's position you took to be prejudiced). Middle aged = teh sexxy!!!1!

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58

I am clearly having an identity disturbance. Am I the commentor or the commented upon? 57 me

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59

Assuming that was Tia, I'd say that's a no-brainer coming from you. (I confess to specifically reading through all of the Sex category. Umm, yowza!)

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60

all of the Sex category on your blog that is.

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61

Oh dear. It occurs to me that the above might have been quite ungentlemanly. In all sincerity, let me proffer my apologies for any embarassment I may have caused you, Tia.

The next time I write something embarassing about myself here, please feel free to leave it in a comment over at paranoidandroid.net.

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62

Yeah, well, Chopper, not that I object to butt sex jokes, I think a lot of the public treatment of any kind of sex less mainstream than blowjobs tends to be kind of voyeuristic, and the interior emotional experience of the people involved gets short shrift. So I thought I'd try to blog another way.

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63

Chopper, if I were the least bit shy, I'd have no business whatsoever blogging about it. That's part of why I'm anonymous. Truly, not to worry.

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64

I swear to god that was an accident. I'm out of control with this other identification stuff.

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65

55, 56

Actually it was turkey bacon I was thinking of.

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66

I attributed the 9-minute gap after 60 to all the regulars rushing over to Tia's blog to read the good stuff themselves.

Not me, of course. Others, though.

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67

In fact, I like to eat turkey bacon while watching the Spurs play.

That's a fine, viral marketing–ish way to slam a team by association. Let me just say that nothing goes better with Redskins football than Vanilla Coke!

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68

I was actually trying to deeply offend apo and SCMT, but they didn't take the bait.

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69

Still reeling from the blow, I imagine.

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70

I didn't say it was my best work.

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71

No! I meant the compliment. If you'd worked blonde BBQ into 55, you might have physically harmed apo.

(But it would've been redundant since NC style is all about the turkey/veggie angle, IIRC.)

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72

NC style is all about the turkey/veggie angle

Your intended meaning here is probably much less funny than the meaning I extrapolated.

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73

Tia,

If I may be so bold you might recite the following to remember your identity:

"Tia is mea."

And, for anyone following my own personal little drama - tonight's the night (opening night that is), so good thoughts are greatly appreciated!

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74

Break a leg, Tripp!

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75

Wow, good luck with that.

Also, Tia, I would have joined the crowd flocking over to your blog, except that I did it about a month ago.

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76

Michael in 54, thanks for the explanation. But--"Matt Whiner"? Haven't we been over this enough?

OK, I'm off to read Tia's blog.

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77

I thought for sure Tia's blog was called Not Ickling, in reference to some sort of sex act I'm probably not doing right.

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78

I always read it as Not Licking.

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79

Someone should start a blog and call it Am So Licking.

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80

Yes, someone should.

The key to ickling, by the way, is the allen wrench. I had given up hope until one day inspiration came to me as I was putting together some furniture.

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81

That turned out more depraved than I was shooting for.

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82

See, that part I figured. But I could never get the saddle on straight.

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83

Joe and wd,

Thanks. I've got brilliant material, a great director, and am surrounded by a great cast, so I'm just trying to keep up. It should be fun!

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84

I hear Georgian men are great icklers.

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85

break a leg! (only a hairline fracture)

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86

Break a leg, Tripp!

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87

In bocca al lupo!

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88

Take it to 'em!

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89

Guns up!

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90

A warm hand on your opening!

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91

Nice, JD.

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92

I didn't make it up. I wish I had.

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93

It was actually this guy, in a telegram to Gertrude Lawrence.

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94

High school cafeterias, beware!

Please stop cutting up this thread with high school cafeteria–style one-liners.

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95

Well who put ants in your pants, Ben?

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96

Dunno.

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97

who put ants in your pants, Ben?

Quite related to Kriston's comment in the other active thread, I would suspect Ol' Dirty Bastard if he wasn't dead.

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98

Man, as soon as kibo is dead, the kibologists are going to be as bad as the 7th Day Adventists.

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99

RE 96

this made me laugh:

YOU BLINKING?

KEEP ON BLINKING! DON'T FORGET TO BLINK!

YOU'RE PROBABLY SORRY YOU STARTED THIS NOW, AREN'T YOU?

WELL, THAT'S TOUGH, BLINKING BOY!

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100

Cent!

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101

Allez-vous en, M. le chèvre!

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