I don't know that I'd like this movie. If there's one thing I can count on, I tell myself, it's that I won't be eaten by bears. Counter-fucking-example!
That's comforting. You know for a while, I had this hazy and ridiculous notion that bears were mammals and perforce (by the magic of stupid) vegetarians. Those nature shows with the luckless trout must have trickled out my ears.
Apparently getting eaten by mountain lions is still relatively easy, if you know where the mountain lion is. Just go jogging past their stand at twilight and boom!
Incidentally, didn't I just see an ad for a feminine hygiene product last night on TV which suggested that users of the product were less likely to be eaten by bears? I wasn't watching closely, but I think that I did.
Now living in Lake Wobegon, I've started watching TV some. It's not a happenin' place by anyone's standard.
Speaking of feminine hygiene, I noticed the other day that the female vagina-accoutrements aisle in the Walgreens was labeled simply 'hygiene.' Like the fucking rest of the entire store isn't concerned with hygiene? That's the entire purpose of Walgreens. Well, that, and providing people with products while, originally intended to treat heartburn, have now become the international symbol for 'I ate too much.' (Ever see those "product A treats heartburn, diarrhea, and fullness" commercials?)
I'm wondering now whether I should use a hygiene product myself, in order to keep from being eaten by bears.
I claim that "fullness" is an actual sympton caused by slow digestion. I've never been a big eater and eat less now than before, but sometimes the food just sits there, making me uncomfortable, for the longest time. It's associated with aging -- most readers here are at that awkward in-between age when you're too old to be movie stars but too young for dentures, so of course you wouldn't understand.
Speaking of feminine hygiene, I noticed the other day that the female vagina-accoutrements aisle in the Walgreens was labeled simply 'hygiene.'
What makes this kind of mealy-mouthedness particularly annoying is that tampons and pads are the products I am most likely to be in urgent need of when in an unfamiliar drugstore. The aisle should either be labelled accurately ('Menstrual Products' would work) or they should at least come up with a standard euphemism so you aren't hunting all over the store for them ('Bear Repellent'?).
I think the other Walgreens calls it "feminine needs." I'll tell you what we need, assholes. More sex, less yammering about douches and Designer Laser Vaginoplasty.
Speaking of the work it takes to be a woman - I was once sent out on an urgent errand to purchase panty hose.
A fellow cast member had apparently ruined the pair she had and needed new panythose minutes before the curtain went up. Since I had the last entrance in the show I was recruited. She gave me her size, the color, and something about the toe, I think.
I couldn't believe the confusing array at the store. The size charts on the back combined, what, height and weight in a confusing way? I stood there feeling like a pervert.
I finally recruited a cute lady for help, which would have been fun if I had more time.
Too bad about all the intrusive and in-poor-taste interviews, non?
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 09-25-05 10:13 PM
I was thinking of saying that the movie is great despite Treadwell and Herzog.
Did you catch that the music was done by Richard Thompson?
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 09-25-05 10:18 PM
I did, I did. Actually I recognized it right off, because the first theme played is very similar to "Knife-Edge" from Strict Tempo!.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 09-25-05 10:29 PM
Huh. I just thought, "this music is surprisingly good," and saw the credits.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 09-25-05 10:30 PM
I don't know that I'd like this movie. If there's one thing I can count on, I tell myself, it's that I won't be eaten by bears. Counter-fucking-example!
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 09-25-05 10:42 PM
It's ok; one thing that's pretty clear is that you have to go way out of your way to be eaten by a bear. Even then, it has to be really hungry.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 09-25-05 10:44 PM
The real question is, did you catch that both Henry Kaiser and Jim O'Rourke played on the soundtrack?
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 09-25-05 10:49 PM
Those names are unknown to me.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 09-25-05 10:51 PM
That's comforting. You know for a while, I had this hazy and ridiculous notion that bears were mammals and perforce (by the magic of stupid) vegetarians. Those nature shows with the luckless trout must have trickled out my ears.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 09-25-05 10:55 PM
Do you us all equally, or do you love some of us more than others?
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 09-26-05 12:00 AM
7: Jim O'Rourke is the shizzy. I may have to see this movie.
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 09-26-05 12:40 AM
Apparently getting eaten by mountain lions is still relatively easy, if you know where the mountain lion is. Just go jogging past their stand at twilight and boom!
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 09-26-05 6:06 AM
Incidentally, didn't I just see an ad for a feminine hygiene product last night on TV which suggested that users of the product were less likely to be eaten by bears? I wasn't watching closely, but I think that I did.
Now living in Lake Wobegon, I've started watching TV some. It's not a happenin' place by anyone's standard.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 09-26-05 6:09 AM
Speaking of feminine hygiene, I noticed the other day that the female vagina-accoutrements aisle in the Walgreens was labeled simply 'hygiene.' Like the fucking rest of the entire store isn't concerned with hygiene? That's the entire purpose of Walgreens. Well, that, and providing people with products while, originally intended to treat heartburn, have now become the international symbol for 'I ate too much.' (Ever see those "product A treats heartburn, diarrhea, and fullness" commercials?)
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 09-26-05 7:29 AM
something is wrong with my comment.
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 09-26-05 7:30 AM
There is nothing wrong with a comment containing the word "accoutrements".
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 09-26-05 7:38 AM
Particularly "vagina-accoutrements," a term that should enter the lexicon as standard.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 09-26-05 8:04 AM
I'm wondering now whether I should use a hygiene product myself, in order to keep from being eaten by bears.
I claim that "fullness" is an actual sympton caused by slow digestion. I've never been a big eater and eat less now than before, but sometimes the food just sits there, making me uncomfortable, for the longest time. It's associated with aging -- most readers here are at that awkward in-between age when you're too old to be movie stars but too young for dentures, so of course you wouldn't understand.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 09-26-05 8:08 AM
Speaking of feminine hygiene, I noticed the other day that the female vagina-accoutrements aisle in the Walgreens was labeled simply 'hygiene.'
What makes this kind of mealy-mouthedness particularly annoying is that tampons and pads are the products I am most likely to be in urgent need of when in an unfamiliar drugstore. The aisle should either be labelled accurately ('Menstrual Products' would work) or they should at least come up with a standard euphemism so you aren't hunting all over the store for them ('Bear Repellent'?).
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 09-26-05 8:18 AM
Isnt it normally 'feminine hygeine'?
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 09-26-05 8:58 AM
I think the other Walgreens calls it "feminine needs." I'll tell you what we need, assholes. More sex, less yammering about douches and Designer Laser Vaginoplasty.
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 09-26-05 9:00 AM
Meatier accoutrements. Gotcha.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 09-26-05 9:04 AM
I'll tell you what we need, assholes.
Women need assholes?
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 09-26-05 9:33 AM
Isnt it normally 'feminine hygeine'?
I can't come up with examples off the top of my head, but I've seen all sorts of terminology, often vague enough to be genuinely confusing.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 09-26-05 9:35 AM
tampons and pads are the products I am most likely to be in urgent need of when in an unfamiliar drugstore
See, for me, that would be cigarettes, which are always conveniently behind the counter. I tell you, being a woman sure seems like a lot of work.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 09-26-05 9:35 AM
At least tampons don't give you lung cancer?
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 09-26-05 9:38 AM
23: Well, yes, but fortunately, most of us were born with one, so it's all good. And sometimes we get an extra one, in fully-realized human form.
Sounds scary, huh?
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 09-26-05 9:38 AM
At least tampons don't give you lung cancer?
I'll bet if you light and inhale them, they do.
sometimes we get an extra one, in fully-realized human form
All together now! Enormous, mendacious, disembodied anus...
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 09-26-05 9:44 AM
Speaking of the work it takes to be a woman - I was once sent out on an urgent errand to purchase panty hose.
A fellow cast member had apparently ruined the pair she had and needed new panythose minutes before the curtain went up. Since I had the last entrance in the show I was recruited. She gave me her size, the color, and something about the toe, I think.
I couldn't believe the confusing array at the store. The size charts on the back combined, what, height and weight in a confusing way? I stood there feeling like a pervert.
I finally recruited a cute lady for help, which would have been fun if I had more time.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 09-26-05 9:49 AM
This belongs in the hall of fame for that sort of story (young men bashfully buying ladies' products in the drugstore).
Posted by bza | Link to this comment | 09-26-05 10:43 AM