Re: On the access road to hell

1

Yeah, that's about right. We sometimes have to put visiting speakers and such there, as there's really no good hotel out here at Swarthmore. It's about as soulless as a hotel can get.

horizontal rule
2

I can't wait to try it for myself. Is it really different from all of the generically soulless hotels out there?

horizontal rule
3

hostels and B&Bs are where it's "at".

horizontal rule
4

I hope you're kidding, Michael. Hostels and B&Bs are hell on earth.

horizontal rule
5

What's wrong with you? Are you stupid or something?

horizontal rule
6

Granted, some hostels suck. Most, IME, are good, some are terrific. I've never stayed at a bad B&B, but, then, I've only stayed at 3 or so.

horizontal rule
7

Hostels in Denmark are great. I had the best breakfast I have ever had at a danish hostel.

horizontal rule
8

The last hostel I stayed at was in Flagstaff (AZ), which was nice, a fun place.

Speaking of, I have some pictures of my trip on flickr, but they are almost entirely landscapes, which you could probably see better elsewhere.

ac, what did your breakfast consist of? (A danish, mayhap?)

horizontal rule
9

I've actually never stayed at a hostel. Just once at a B&B.

horizontal rule
10

And from that experience you condemmed me?

horizontal rule
11

I haven't done it, because they're hell on earth.

horizontal rule
12

Right. From whence does this belief originate?

horizontal rule
13

Ah yes, a telling typo there. My memorable Danish breakfast was a buffet of five different kinds of freshly baked bread, ten different kinds of cheese to put on the bread, a huge selection of danishes (which, it being danish-land and all, were fucking amazing), pots of coffee with, like, the best-tasting milk ever, muesli, yogurt, orange juice, and fresh fruit. (Plus, I was biking around Denmark, so could work it off.)

Most of the hostels tried to be fairly ambitious about breakfast, but the one I remember particularly and am describing here was Odense. Oh the breakfast at Odense!

horizontal rule
14

Michael, I didn't think I'd have to point out to a young man of your obvious acuity, that hostels and B&Bs are full of people that you can't avoid.

horizontal rule
15

Pgged, maybe if you started staying at hostels or B&Bs on the weekends, you could meet some girls.

ac, wow. And, yum.

horizontal rule
16

*sigh*

horizontal rule
17

Any word on the Drake Hotel in Chicago? I'm staying there in a few weeks, basically because I couldn't get a room elsewhere at a gov't rate. If the website is any indication, it's pretty swank, but possibly to a self-consciously annoying degree.

By the bye, I'm with ogged on the b&b question: they are dens of misery.

horizontal rule
18

now that ogged has been pwned, he is renamed Pgged.

horizontal rule
19

I think Sarah Vowell pretty much summed it up on B&Bs:

I am not a bed-and-breakfast person. I understand why other people would want to stay in B&Bs. They're pretty. They're personal. They're "quaint," a polite way of saying "no TV." They are "romantic," i.e., every object large enough for a flower to be printed on it is going to have a flower printed on it. They're "cozy," meaning that a guest has to keep her belongings on the floor because every conceivable flat surface is covered in knickknacks, except for the one knickknack she longs for, a remote control.
The real reason bed-and-breakfasts make me nervous is breakfast. As if it's not queasy enough to stay in a stranger's home and sleep in a bed bedecked with nineteen pillows. In the morning, the usually cornflake-consuming, wheat-intolerant guest is served floury baked goods on plates so fancy any normal person would keep them locked in the china cabinet even if Queen Victoria herself rose from the dead and showed up for tea. The guest, normally a silent morning reader of newspapers, is expected to chat with the other strangers staying in the strangers' home.

horizontal rule
20

And Michael - I don't think cruising B&Bs would be a great way for Ogged to meet girls. If I met a single man staying by himself at a B&B, I would assume him to be disturbed and/or gay. B&Bs are for women or couples only.

horizontal rule
21

Amen to Vowell, and ditto Becks' last.

horizontal rule
22

I have not stayed at a B&B like the B&B Sarah Vowell stayed in.

I don't think staying at these places would be a good way to meet women, but, you know, Ogged is desperate.

horizontal rule
23

He can be fairly confident he won't meet Sarah Vowell, so why bother?

horizontal rule
24

Unf's the one with the crush on Sarah \owell.

horizontal rule
25

I forget which hotel it was, but the last time I stayed in Philadelphia, I was in this tall round hotel that looked like it hadn't been renovated in 30 or 40 years (near the airport, I think). It was for a crew regatta, and we entertained ourselves after the race by getting drunk and running around the circular floors in our spandex unisuits.

What can I say, it's a sport that attracts the crazies among us. I wear my badge proudly.

horizontal rule
26

If I've never wanted to kill you, personally, Matt, I've wanted to kill people just like you.

horizontal rule
27

I get that a lot.

But we're fearless! We brave the icy early-morning waters in clothing that would make a lesser man feel effeminate. Irate business travellers fall before us like grain to the scythe.

Plus with the drunk. It's easy not to have a conscience when you're 19.

horizontal rule
28

"I forget which hotel it was, but the last time I stayed in Philadelphia, I was in this tall round hotel that looked like it hadn't been renovated in 30 or 40 years (near the airport, I think). "

Could that have been the Philadelphia Ramada, Matt F? Got caught there this year, and I almost started crying when I smelt the shower curtains (you know what - that unmentionable thing.)

horizontal rule
29

Becks,

B&Bs are for women or couples only.

Correction. B&Bs are for women only. If you see a couple there you know it's because the woman dragged the man.

And, you'd think without a TV to amuse thoughts of sex would be in the air - but noooooo - let's go look at the shops downstairs where we can buy stuff we will never use at outrageous prices.

Now that's what I call a vacation!

horizontal rule
30

Not that you're bitter.

horizontal rule
31

And, you'd think without a TV to amuse thoughts of sex would be in the air - but noooooo - let's go look at the shops downstairs where we can buy stuff we will never use at outrageous prices.

Not to mention the fact that most men have trouble staying aroused when surrounded by that much chintz.

horizontal rule
32

B&B's wouldn't allow pgged to reset his Tivo (no remote!), so it would all be a waste if he got any there.

horizontal rule
33

I like B & Bs, with the exception of the one we stayed at on our honeymoon, which was really some backwoods family's guest room off the den (they watched TV after we went to bed). They served us freezer waffles and Jimmy Dean sausage patties for breakfast.

horizontal rule
34

The missus and I stayed at a really nice B&B outside of Asheville a couple of years ago. It was an enormous log mansion on top of a mountain. That's the only one I've ever been in, but it was a nice switch from hotel rooms.

Then again, I'm teh big ghey, so YMMV.

horizontal rule
35

You know, B&Bs in England all have little bars, sometimes with young college girls working them late at night.

I know I am not teh ghey because I had to look up "chintz."

I am perfectly willing to acknowledge (especially after 33) that there are some sucky B&Bs. However, almost all hotels are drab, possessing no character, and often an unpleasant odor.

horizontal rule
36

20: Becks, you still haven't given us a reason that Ogged shouldn't stay at B&Bs.

horizontal rule
37

Ogged is too old to go to hostels looking for women. Also a dude in a utilikilt just walked by me. He is, however, wrong about their hellishness-on-earth. I suspect this is just another by-product of his weird fastidiousness.

horizontal rule
38

b-wo, that wasn't Batman that just walked by you, was it?

horizontal rule
39

36. Matt is, as ever, a close reader.

horizontal rule
40

It's not just amazing that you saw a utilikilt, but that you recognized it. (I just googled the term.)

horizontal rule
41

I know a guy who wore a utilikilt to his own wedding reception.

horizontal rule
42

I knew a guy in college who wore one a lot. He also occasionally wore a skirt, which looked pretty good on him.

horizontal rule
43

Sounds a bit like our mutual friend.

horizontal rule
44

Sometime last year, there was a march (I think in NY, but I'm not sure) for men who wear skirts and kilts. According to the article I read, there is a certain division in the relevant community between men who will describe what they're wearing as a 'skirt', who are fashiony types, either gay or not worried about what people think of their orientation, and men who describe their garments as 'kilts', who are all manly and stuff. This turned into a huge controversy, which was only resolved by naming the march the march for men in "Unbifurcated Garments".

horizontal rule
45

I'm with Ogged on B&Bs and I've stayed in more than one. I do not want to talk to the proprietor except to say hi, give her/him my credit card info, and get the keys. I do not want to talk to other people at breakfast. etc. And yup, I have stayed in B&Bs where that's exactly what's expected. I've stayed at others where it's basically a small intimate hotel, that's very nice. I find it's pretty hard to know which kind you're dealing with in advance, though.

horizontal rule
46

Unbifurcated Garments! That's awesome, LB.

horizontal rule
47

44 started out in a Wolfsonesque shaggy-dog style, but then it ended up being funny!

horizontal rule
48

The real problem with a lot of hostels is that they charge too damn much for internet access.

horizontal rule
49

Is that where you're writing from now?

(three homonyms in row!)

horizontal rule
50

yes and I only have 12 seconds left

horizontal rule
51

Don't forget to put th

horizontal rule
52

I was going to write something like th

horizontal rule
53

but I didn't even have time for that. Really, I should go find an internet cafe somewhere with better rates. But I don't think I will, because this is supposed to be a break.

horizontal rule