Re: Tom Hi/lde, Still Stinging

1

This is so awesome. Christmas came a little early this year. Eid mubarak!

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2

It's amazing how many people in this world think their shit don't stink.

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3

I got the shipment of "I heart Yglesias" polo shirts and thongs. Who ordered what size?

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4

Mine had the XXXL pouch.

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5

surely your beer gut isn't that big, Chops.

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6

That is really funny, and I think that the unfogged community sort of disproves the point about the value of comments. Unfogged is all about the comments.

And I was glad to see that John Emerson said that plenty of people were willing to call MY a punk, but we were quite sure that he was rather smart.

I have, on occasion, been persuaded that Mr. Yglesias lacked a moral center, but that doesn't mean that his orthography reflects an empty and utterly undeveloped mind.

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7

I feel bad for hist students who have to put up with that huge but fragile ego and beligerent yet victimzed mindset.

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8

John Emerson o'er yonder writes:

Unfogged's commentors are a tight group which is hard to break into. After months of diligent effort, I'm still not sure whether I'm a troll there or not.

After months of diligent effort applied to what end?

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9

One only enters Unfogged through the back.

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10

Does one enter Unfogged, or does Unfogged enter one?

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11

I mean, ogged is obviously a bottom, but the whole unfogged experience?

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12

I'm hurt that Mr. Hilde got so much more attention than I've ever been able to get.

I still think that an Yglesias-trashing thread would be appropriate. Much more successful than he deserves to be, a child of privilege, ethnically confused and bi-hyphenated, little-guy complex even though he's tall, you name it.

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13

Anytime you comment you're squirting text into the receptive comment box orifice. On the other hand, Unfogged fills my days with meaning.

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14

Most of those suggest a distaste for the status of Matt's folks, which is irrelevant, the last one I just plain don't understand, and the first is about impossibly sujbective, and, more to the point, silly. I mean, it's not like he's got a glamorous or high-paying job or anything. It really seems *odd* to begrudge a guy a writing fellowship.

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15

Anytime you comment you're squirting text into the receptive comment box orifice.

Leave text alone. He's suffered enough.

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16

He's tall? That rosy cheeked cherub photo on his old blog had me guessing he was more wee than your average public intellectual. I will pitch that guess into the garbage pail of my wrongness.

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17

Yeah, I know. Taking in all that meat. Over and over. I try to tell him, it's not healthy, he needs to rest. But he won't see reason.

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18

Uh, 17 to 16.

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19

Doesn't mean you should squirt him around all willy-nilly.

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20

AAAARGH! I mean 15.

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21

Re 6:

I think unfogged is able to maintain the atmosphere it does in its comments comes from an enforced good-natured levity. Anyone who starts to get too serious about something is poked and prodded until they lighten up.

On the other hand, there are serious discussions about stuff going on all the time. I'm not really sure how that works.

But most of all, unfogged is a pretty small site. It wouldn't scale any better than Eschaton if it had that amount of traffic.

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22

Sometimes my comments are too big to fit in the comment-box.

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23

But most of all, unfogged is a pretty small site. It wouldn't scale any better than Eschaton if it had that amount of traffic.

Unfogged comment threads also move a little more slowly than they did about 6 months ago, which is a plus.

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24

16: A common misconception--scroll down to the posts titled "Height" on this Google cache of the matthewyglesias.com website, which is in the garbage pail of history itself.

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25

unfogged is a pretty small site. It wouldn't scale any better than Eschaton if it had that amount of traffic

Ah, but this too is enforced. Some of us, naming no names, scare people away.

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26

Michael, maybe text can help you with that one.

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27

Now now, don't go offering text's services behind his back.

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28

Especially when he's busying himself in Tia's box.

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29

Text isn't equipped to offer them from any other direction.

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30

Well, there are actually serious reasons to thump on Matt, but as per the nature of the site, I only mentioned the shallow ones.

I'm inclined to praise Helen Yglesias excessively, in implied criticism of Matt.

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31

Re: 21, pdf--I think unfogged exhibits an almost cosmopolitan, unAmerican ability to be both very serious about the important points without taking itself too seriously.

One thing I prefer about Europeans, or at least certain ENglish types, is that it seems to be more permissible to say "that's rubbish" without offending the other person. Unfogged has a bit of that.

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32

If 28 and 29 are both correct, text is a bit more lithe than I had thought.

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33

Now I'm all curious about your serious reasons. Don't be a tease.

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34

Serious commentary is inappropriate in this venue. I've slipped before.

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35

Dude, I'm a totally bankrupt figure. Not, I think, unusually pernicious, but just a particularly salient example of the rot at the heart of American opinion journalism. Is there any reason -- any reason at all -- while people should take my ideas seriously? What do I know about Iraq? About economics? Nothing. My track record as a pundit, meanwhile, is exceedingly poor. I backed the Iraq War out of fear of Saddam's WMD programs, but did have some doubts about the wisdom of the venture because I doubted Bush had the commitment to stick it out for the long term. In retrospect, that was idiotic. I was sure Howard Dean was going to win the Democratic Party's presidential nomination. And despite this pretty unbroken track record of failure, my career continues to advance.

Think about it. The case against Yglesias is pretty strong. For some reason, though, people keep slagging on my bad spelling, which really has nothing to do with anything. On top of all that, the Armsmasher can no doubt attest to my numerous failings as a human being.

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36

The issue with criticizing Yglesias here is that he reads and participates here, along with several of his close friends. If I wanted to talk smack about, I dunno, Tom Hilde, I would either do it to his face in a reasoned, non-insulting manner, or in an appropriate forum where I had no expectation that he or his friends would read and feel the need to defend him. I think he's a douche. (Hi Tom.)

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37

And Dostoevskian on top of everything else.

I belong to the essentially non-existent left wing of the Democratic Party, whereas Matt tends toward centrism, so he frequently annoys me (as I do him, I'm sure). He hasn't recently suggested that the national forests be clearcut, or that civil liberties are harmful from the utilitarian POV, but he has done so in the past. I also wish that he had continued to profess atheism, thus forming a party faction along with Mr. Pharyngula, Bartcop, and me.

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38

35: Not to mention that Yglesias refers to himself in the third person! Since they're just handing out writing fellowships these days, I should get myself one!

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39

I hadn't expected that Tom Hilde would react so strongly to "douchebag." I thought, frankly, I was making a fairly empirical assessment.

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40

On top of all that, the Armsmasher can no doubt attest to my numerous failings as a human being.

Yeah, but don't underestimate the moral redemption that's afforded by buying an HDTV. Major electronics purchases are the atheist roommate version of Catholic indulgences.

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41

39. *nod* I thought it a keen and fair observation.

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42

unkind.

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43

Not to mention that Yglesias refers to himself in the third person!

I hereby request that ogged declare a Refer-To-Yourself-Only-In-Third-Person Day.

Tomorrow.

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44

All love, text.

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45

Hey text, what's the deal with the non-student clerkship application process? Every 3L I know who applied for one didn't even hear about whether or not they were getting an interview until yesterday, how did your process work so that you could know much earlier?

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46

same, to all. and thanks to standpipe, for sticking up for my autonomy over my services.

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47

I could apply earlier. The moratorium on applications only applies to current students. Most judges want to fill the spot as fast as they can, and so I had interviews before most applications went out.

neener neener.

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48

I belong to the essentially non-existent left wing of the Democratic Party

So you're the other guy at all of the meetings. We should go out for a beer afterwards some time.

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49

You're welcome, text, but I have to admit, I consciously aimed my diction at your hindquarters. Tia's 29 was no accident.

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50

well one ought to have autonomy over those services as well as any other.

as to 29, I think I would have to live-blog the rebuttal.

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51

39: I think most people probably take "douchebag" to be very very insulting, whereas in fact I think it's less insulting than "asshole" or "dick." ac defined it the other day as "extremely lame," which I think is about right. OTOH, T.H. was also being, at the very least, a jerk, so I'm not going to lose any sleep over it.

(Until just now I thought this post read "Still singing." I like to think of Tom, in a spot light, warbling his troll song.)

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52

Sing to me in troll song, my douchebag Thomas Hilde;

It's been ages since I grimaced as the callous dentist drilled.

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53

You know, everytime I note to my roommate something I read on Yglesias' blog that I think was good (and it has happened more than once) he gets really disdainful because he worked for Matt at the Independent and seems to have trouble dealing with the fact that I give some weight to the online opinions posted by someone whom he once knew.

Just saying.

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54

I wasn't referring to myself in the third person -- that comment is strewn with the first person. The only deployment of the third person is in the phrase "the case against Yglesias" which needs to be put in the third person to avoid all kinds of indexical problems. The way I did it, we can say that I agree with the case against Yglesias, as does Tom Hilde, but Ogged doesn't find it convincing.

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55

That reminds me of the Calvin Trillin column about why he tries to ignore the news as he gets older: People he knew in college are getting put in charge of things. The average newspaper reader sees that Deputy Undersecretary of State Douglas Durfee Dalton has been put in charge of XYZ and thinks, "Oh, it's in good hands,"* while Trillin screams, "It's Dirt Dalton! He's a moron!"

*admittedly, we no longer have this problem.

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56

For clarity regarding 29, the services in question were to help Michael find a box in which to insert his comments. I did not mean to imply that you could not offer any other kind of services, but rather that only one end of you was suitable for particular task. Although, now that I think about it...

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57

Also, in re 53, who's your roommate?

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58

I have no idea if he googles himself, nor if he'd be annoyed by me posting this, so: he has the same first name as Weiner and his last name is P/olloc\k.

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59

54: Au contraire, mon frere. It would be fine for you to say "I agree with the case against me, as does Tom Hilde, but Ogged doesn't find it convincing." I don't think it would even be ambiguous; maybe if we were to replace "me" with "myself" it would have a reading on which everyone is thinking about the case against himself, but I don't think that's available with "me" (I could be wrong).

Now, if you were talking about yourself as an instance of a phenomenon--a salient example of the rot at the core of opinion journalism--then you'd want to use "Yglesias" as an exemplar of the form. I don't think it raises indexical problems, though.

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60

Tia, why do you have to keep calling Text gay?

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61

59: No, no—"case against Yglesias" works because MY is positing specific set of arguments universally known among his detractors. To my ear "case against me" only suggests Hilde's complaints.

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62

alright. Let's just say the world is replete with text-filled boxes.

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63

I think that Weiner is right on the grammatical issue.


Yeah, I experienced Trillin's concern in advance. I'd look around, when I was in college and think "some day, some of these people are going to be in charge of some important institutions/ businesses and even the government," and it terrified me.

And since we were always told that we were smarter and better qualified than previous generations, I began to fear that the people in charge were probably not that great. This was before Bush.

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64

I don't comment at Unfogged as much anymore because I'm worried people will think I'm gay.

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65

Not worried that you guys will think I'm gay, of course, worried that outsiders won't understand that the unbridled homoeroticism of Unfogged is all completely unrelated to anyone's actual libido -- kind of like in the locker room, you know.

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66

Adam,

What are you going on about? Homoeroticism?

I just don't see it.

And what if someone did think you gay? Not to be gross, but "F 'em," that's what I say.

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67

Tripp,

I don't think that Kotsko is really all that worried about it.

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68

I met four undersecretaries of Defense or State -to-be in my youth. I only knew one of them personally. They all seem talented enough and none of them seemed particularly vicious (they're all neocon ex-liberals), and I confess that my main thought is "Why did God give me high-level connections which are, for me, completely and utterly useless?"

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69

Homoeroticism is in the something of the beholder.

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70

I've got no problem with being thought gay, but if someone implies I don't have genitalia, well that needs to be rebutted.

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71

I don't gotta problem with you texting me, but I gotta little problem with you not texting me.

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72

I actually think that Trillin's concern is part of the reason why certain people who shouldn't like the Bush administration -- Kaus, Fineman, etc. -- do. For these people, Gore and Kerry struck them as essentially part of their peer group, and having one of them become president would like having that asshole who beat you out as editor of the school paper become president (and not only like). Bush, even though he technically is part of their peer group, i.e., an Ivy-educated boomer, doesn't feel the same because he is manifestly not a meritocrat and wasn't staking his claim to the office on meritocratic grounds.

Also, on the general issue of this post, I am as big an Yglesias fan as there can be. Earlier this year, my wife and I came very close to moving to D.C., and got very deep into discussions about how to best go about inviting him to one of our birthday parties.

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73

I have a truly marvelous comment, which text's box is too narrow to contain.

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74

BW, try doing something to decrease the fricatives.

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75

Tripp -- Methinks you doth protest too much.

"What?! Homoeroticism?! [zipping up pants] I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about!"

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76

JD, I count the same number of fricatives in 73 and 74.

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77

Re 72: I think it's a variant of what you're describing. Kaus, et. al., are geeks. Bush (despite the fact that he was a cheerleader) comes off as the frat guy who dinged them. They're just indulging the same sad Kewl Guy worship they had in college. It didn't make them popular then, and it's unlikely to make them popular now.

The world would be a much better place if these guys had just gotten laid a few years earlier than they did.

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78

Teofilo pwns us all!

77: I just do not get the nerds who worship the asshole fratboys. Is it that journalism/op-eddery selects for that, while nerds like me who hate fratboys and all they stand for wind up in academe? I mean, I ran across a fair amount of W types at college, and Kewl Guy worship is not the attitude I had to them.

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79

"college" = "Haahvaahd"; I think we've discussed this issue but I forget what conclusion was reached.

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80

I just do not get the nerds who worship the asshole fratboys.

Nor I, but it describes Kaus to a tee.

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81

Man, I haven't been pwned! in ages. I forgot how empty you feel inside when it's all over.

I also, incidentally, don't think it's text's fault if Wolfson's comment isn't penetrating enough.

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82

The world would be a much better place if these guys had just gotten laid a few years earlier than they did.

Hmm...maybe ensuring the sexual minimum for nerds would further liberal policy goals. Also if people identify Democrats as the party that gets them laid, that could mean allegiance for life.

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83

81: how I felt when wolfson left before even taking a shower. which is often how it happens when one isn't penetrating enough.

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84

It's too bad Tom Hilde never showed up.

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85

I'll bet he didn't even warn you before he posted.

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86

(ATM)

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87

Damn. 85 to 83.

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88

I've never met people quite like GW. I knew entitled preppies, but they were generally smarter than W even if they weren't terribly intellectual. A friend of mine who went to Yale knew some football players there who weren't the brightest, but they were incredibly sweet, like big teddy bears.

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89

CT seems down.

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90

W is a pretty exceptional case, really. I think it's fairly common for a set of people at the top schools to identify themselves as the new kewl kids, and act less intelligent than they actually are. They may never become very interesting, but they remain smarter, and more competent, than they seem. Among that set is probably some who wouldn't have been able to attend the school without some sort of connection. But they would have come close to being able to attend, at least.

W has the trifecta: stupid, lazy, incurious. He doesn't pretend to be, he is.

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91

I don't understand the fuss about Yglesias; he's a young pundit. He's right on some things, and wrongheaded on others, and sometimes makes spelling errors. His prose is clear.

His blog is well-known.

Is this something I'm supposed to get testy over?

Am I supposed to be rabidly jealous because MY has a well-known blog and I can spell 'asymmetric' and I *don't* have a blog, let alone a well-known one?

(And John Emerson's an outsider? Who neglected to give him the complimentary fruit basket? Where's my fruit basket?)

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92

Your fruit basket is named "Fontana Labs".

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93

we don't do fruit baskets here. didn't you like the home-made sausage?

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94

Fontana Labs sausage.

I will let that one lie.

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95

but will it let you lie? some truths are glaring, and in their enormity, cannot be denied.

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96

I'm not so bothered by W's stupidity as his lack of doubt. He reminds me of someone cosseted by good fortune, sure that his way must be the right way, because it's worked out so well for him. Or, better said, he strikes me as someone who was born on third base but thinks he hit a triple.

Kaus bothers me because ... there's just something discomfiting about watching that kind of self-abasement. I think he (like Brooks, who has all but admitted it) is responding to a sense of self-assurance that he lacks. I'd be inclined to be sympathetic - we've all behaved similarly, at least in high school - but at this point, I just want him to take of the big girl's blouse. I hope he was at least invited to the Inaugural.

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97

Too much doubt is enervating, but I agree that W. doesn't have enough. And I guess that that's all part of his sense of entitlement. If he were actually humble, I wouldn't mind so much. Super smart arrogant people can do a lot of damage. Less smart, but genuinely humble people, tend to cause less harm. I think Rumsfeld is actually pretty smart, and McNamara was too, but their hubris and arrogance has gotten in the way.

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98

I agree, but W is also stupid. What kind of harms do stupid, arrogant people cause?

Oh well. This gets me nowhere. Off to intake dangerous amounts of animal matter.

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99

Re Bush's apparent stupidity, I found this quite interesting when I found it:

http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/001048.html

I don't know about his overall intelligence, but I'm pretty sure his linguistic ability is intentionally supressed as part of his image. People can be good with language and still be pretty dumb, can't they?

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100

"CT seems down."

It was down for like two or three hours, but then you made that comment and it came back up. Thanks, wolfson.

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101

"Fruit basket"?

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102

pdf--he's smart about some things; he understands things about people. He's not good with language or abstract concepts though.

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103

but can he spell?

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104

Am I supposed to be rabidly jealous because MY has a well-known blog and I can spell 'asymmetric' and I *don't* have a blog, let alone a well-known one?

I think that is the problem a lot of people have with Yglesias and that his own argument against why "nice guys" aren't owed sex is fairly analogous to why people who think they are "good bloggers" aren't owed readers, which some people still can't seem to grasp: "[The] true oddity of this whole discourse is the notion that sex and/or companionship is some kind of prize that the world owes to you in exchange for behaving well...even real commodities aren't distributed like that, so I don't see why anyone would be surprised by the realities here."

I think Hilde just can't accept that, like in other real life domains, wit and style are what make some bloggers stand out from others. If I have a choice between two people who are essentially talking out of their asses, I'll pick the one that makes me laugh and has the better taste in music.

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105

bostoniangirl, I think my link provides a little bit of evidence to the contrary. I have no trouble believing that Bush's apparent linguistic difficulty is pure affectation.

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106

101: Fruit basket, welcome wagon. You seem oddly left-out feelings for someone who seems obviously welcome.

104: Pretty much. Most of the whining about Yglesias seems to stem from a) I'm a better blogger than that punk kid, b) That punk kid can't spell and he went to Harvard so that proves that he got everywhere because his parents are rich and if it weren't for him readers would like meeee meeee meeee and c) I deserve teh readers and it's unfair that this kid gets readers and I don't.

Why a person with a career who isn't trying to make it as a blogging pundit would get all worked up over a perceived injustice that has nothing to do with him escapes me.

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107

pdf23ds--I read that link, and I don't buy it. I think that there's a lot of affectation there, but I do think that he struggles when there's no script in front of him, and I don't believe that he's interested in anything as abstract as policy.

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108

What ever happened to good old-fashioned resentment? The normal thing to do would be to undercut someone younger you (or the same age) who seems likely to become much more successful.

Have you all formed an unhealthy identification with Yglesias and his career, like Quebec villagers with Celine Dion?

Granted that interning at a left-wing magazine is not lucrative, it's a foot in the door. Judith Miller got her start at The Progressive -- the weeniest of the weenie liberal media.

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109

There's too much talk about fruits here.

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110

I want a basket too, although I'm still very much a newbie. Chocolate would be nice.

Hmmm Lake Champlain Chocolates

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111

RE 104

Blogging popularity depends a lot on when you started blogging. Here is a Yglassis interview .

>Of course, you might wonder, how exactly did so many assorted journalists land on Matt's blog? "Back when I started my site, the blogosphere was tiny, and it was easy enough to get links by just emailing a couple of high-profile bloggers whose work I admired." But nowadays, Matt cautions, "That strategy probably doesn't work so well. Better to start with people whose audience is big enough to help (i.e., bigger than yours) but not so big that they'll just ignore you. Beyond that, a lot of people starting blogs seem to overlook the crucial question of quality. You've got to fill a valuable niche of some sort, post consistently enough that people want to come back, but not so frequently that you end up turning out stuff that's no good. There's no sense in writing a blog that reads like Eschaton or just linking to the same news stories everyone else links to and offering the same sort of commentary, nobody will notice. It's useful to try and stick to something you actually know something about—my site's probably a bad model in that regard."


Because of this, there are some deserving blogs that don't get enough attention. Unfortunately for Mr. Hilde, his blog isn't one of them.

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112

I think that y'all are seriously blocked, and suppressed resentment is building up in your tissues.

Resentment of others' success is entirely natural and healthy, but feely-touchy New Age therapists have bullied people into denying their true natures, with disastrous results in the long run.

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113

in the town, where I was born

lived a man, who wrote a blog

and he told us of his life

chasing birds, and shagging dogs

so he called his blog "unfogged"

and the comments were recondite

and they lived beneath the waves

on their Yglesias fan site

you all post on an Yglesias fan-site

Yglesias fan-site, Yglesias fan-site

you all post on an Yglesias fan-site

Yglesias fan-site, Yglesias fan-site

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114

Fruit basket. Don't worry, John, you'll get yours.

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115

dsquared ♥ Yglesias

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116

I had no idea that fruit basket was a new kind of cock joke.

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117

Ain't exactly new, dear.

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118

Last night I crossed paths with a goat. Now if there is one thing I know it is animal sacrifice, and if there's a second it is Yglesias needs to be down in Hell with Satan rubbing his belly. So I rummaged through my knapsack and drew out a sharp knife deadly to goats.

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119

This is the beginning of a Wolfsonesque joke, no?

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120

I see that, in revenge for that comment, SB intends to leave me hanging in perpetuity.

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121

"Goat," I said, "I am going to kill you all bloody. D'accord? It is on account of the fiend Yglesias." The goat stopped munching on his soda can. "D'accord," said the goat, who was Maurice Chevalier in disguise.

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122

It's funnier in the original German, honest.

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123

I just don't believe in a goat speaking french.

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124

Yeah, they usually speak Baaaasque.

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125

Standpipe, you quit halfway through, like an Iranian lover!

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126

I'm sure this is old news, but I googled Tom Hilde and.... he's a grown-up person! With facial hair! And a job (albeit not a tenure-track one)! He's not 15! He's also not 14! I don't think he's 12 either! He might be 40! I don't get it.

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127

Is this him?

Where'd he get his PhD? I don't want to go to school there.

(There's some great stuff by him over at Crooked Timber, btw. It's unreal.)

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128

Goat, to 123: Je ne t'en crois nonplus, salaud.

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129

Désolé pour son désillusion, mademoiselle. Mais, je comprend que des robinets parlent français.

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130

Il y a des qui parlent français? Je me sens perdue. Je suis une chevre modeste qui ne sais pas comment on fait un accent grave. Ou est les boites en fer blanc? Baaaa.

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131

De plus, je suis tres stupide avec le html. J'accuse mes sabots. C'est pourquoi on dit "saboteur."

Je voulais dire

Il y a des robinets qui parlent français? Je me sens perdue. Je suis une chevre modeste qui ne sais pas comment on fait un accent grave. Ou est les boites en fer blanc? Baaaa.

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132

I speak no French.

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133

126: At least he's not an argument against tenure.

Oddly, he's still insisting that we all were calling Yglesias brillliant when the first person to use 'brilliant' in any kind of reference to Yglesias was Hilde himself.

It's kind of cool, really. We don't even have to argue, he just does it all by himself.

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134

Je ne sais pas parler français l'un ou l'autre ainsi je vais simplement au babelfish traduire un certain texte.

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135

homoeroticphiloyglasiastive

the caustic commenters of unfogg

the typists type in swivel chairs

in the beginning was the gourd

In the beginning was the gourd

nomenclature en francais

and mineshafts shafting in the minds

of drunken, slumbering blogger fiends.

A gourd in fresco barren streets

and luminous, curved at the top

is eaten by a Hildebeast

Yglasiastic liketh not

Texty shifts his weighty gams

inside a bathtub filled with gin

A douchebag Hilde dental dams,

But texty, in his bathtub grins.

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136

I helped Maurice onto a makeshift altar of upturned wine casks. The dew sparkled in sympathy with the steel of my goat knife.

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137

The adequate and valid trashing of Yglesias which we've all been waiting for is not likely to be produced at this venue, it seems, what with the parvenue Albanian goats speaking broken French.

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138

Trashing proportionné et valide de Yglesias lequel nous avions attendu n'est pas susceptible d'être produit à ce rendez-vous, il semble, en raison des chèvres albanaises de parvenue parlant Français cassé.

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139

John Emerson, model i sofistikim

At least I tried to better myself, enter society, rather than posing on Mount Barbullush cocking my horns back to look faux majestic so stupid American tourists could take my picture while Hafizi kept me docile and half starved on a diet of petting zoo pellets. Yeah, that's right, I know where you come from to.

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140

Albanians are so fucking touchy.

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141

You should know.

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142

I think his PhD is from Penn State.

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143

Someone told me they were in decline.

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144

This is interesting.

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145

what is?

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146

"this". Wolfson is contemplating demonstrative adjectives.

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147

It's a nice change from belly button lint.

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148

Albanians in decline? I don't think so.

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149

Albanians never decline anything. It's their way of snubbing Greeks with their fancy "&Omegaχι" day.

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150

"Greeks, with"

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151

I'm having some trouble wrapping up my story.

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152

Doesn't an angel of the Lord come down and tell you to spare the goat, as a shaft of light reveals Tom Hilde caught in a thicket?

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153

No no, I think what happens is his SCSI chain finally starts working.

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154

SB, then please step aside while I play a Nocturne for the salon on the pianoforte.

[sotto voice, in Albanian]

And you keep quiet Emerson. Don't think that's the last I have on you. Once I've demonstrated that I've mastered even the pianoforte my triumph in society will be complete. My talents will catch the eye of the M. d'Ogged, who is still unmarried. My hips are quite narrow, and braying is quite opposed to squeaky, thus I conclude that I do not delude myself by harbouring hopes. I shall be able to rescue my sisters from destitution. I would think you would decline to interfere out of charity, but if I have to exercise power over you through the vile art of blackmail, I will not want for will.

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155

Matt, that's a darn good ending. The allusion would sit uneasily with the protagonist's evil design, though, but whatever, Maurice Chevalier.

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156

Wait—in your version, is Matt Y. also spared? I have no quarrel with him personally, but I thought the point was to uncork our repressed champagne of resentment.

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157

Il n'y a pas de hors-texte, SB.

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158

The metaphor police! I'm outie.

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159

It would be remiss of me not to welcome Wolfson back from intermittency. Now, WTH does 153 mean?

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160

I used to know someone who bred show goats. Her doe did badly in shows because she didn't have a feminine walk. Not suitable for sacrifice.

Her stud buck was impotent and was sent to the medical school for use in experiments.

There are worse things than being a guy, believe me. A male goat is lucky even to reach the stage of failure. Most are fixed before they even begin to think that way. Probably including my friend here.

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161

SCSI is not magic. There are valid technical reasons why you have to sacrifice a goat to your SCSI chain every now and then. (With a silver-handled knife while burning black candles.)

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162

Well, my adversary goat claims to be female, though I doubt she has a truly feminine walk.

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163

So, the stud buck had seen the doe giving birth, right?

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164

I just don't believe in a goat playing the pianoforte.

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165

I believe in a goat-playing pianoforte, named Sid.

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166

You can lead a hors to text, but …

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167

Aren't you on the run from John Law?

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168

. . . you can't make him eat.

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169

Didn't anybody enjoy Mr. Text's Sunday Sermon?

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170

strike that I'll not fish for references.

off to enjoy saturday saturday

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171

You know what's amazing about male goats?

Balls the size of cantaloupes.

You know what's amazing about Tom Hilde?

He's such a douche, when he walks by you can actually smell the vinegar and water.

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172

Sure, people are always around when Michael's half in the bag, but when I put away a little too much bourbon, all y'all (what's the grammatic function of that expression, Weiner?) are long gone.

Also, I apparently type more accurately (if slower) when a tetch sloshed.

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173

We care about Michael.

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174

That's all right, your mom will keep me warm.

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175

what's the grammatic function of that expression

That's been discussed previously.

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176

167: What's he got to do with it?

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177

I don't know. Does he put abusers of figurative language in the pokey?

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