Somehow the familiarity of those times survives the years; we chatted amiably for hours, noting that we'd both lost touch with the folks we'd been dating.
I've read this story before. That's not the ending. Everyone! TiVo resettage!
I guess Unf will have to go find himself a new blog to hide from the in-laws, Alameida-like. And decades from now, some enterprising young blog-historian can trace the connections of secret blogs hiding secret bloggers in the face of marriage.
Think of it, ogged. If you met a girl of whom it was true not only that you could tell her about unfogged (which you'd be forced to do eventually anyway), but also that you could tell her parents, wouldn't that mean that she was The One?
Though I suppose this means that the ex's parents were in the dark.
Nice, very nice. Sold out both nights, future tickets selling well, standing ovulation. Thanks for asking.
One bit of lowbrow humor - I lift a cast member as she runs in the air to get away. Saturday I must have lifted her a little too close, her heel plunked me in the wedding tackle.
It was one of those cases where the sensation starts small and grows. Totally my fault, but this bass was singing soprano until the end of that song.
hmmm apparently my magic internet connection has picked up vibes from a parallel universe where people on debate teams get laid. Who won the Second World War over there?
Fun and excitement in a vaguely cylindrical object, somewhat diminished by an attempt to avoid the negative consquences of sensual indulgence, in one case, calories, the other discovery by the camp counselor?
Are you suggesting, SB, that by "separately joint; we were innocents" ogged meant that he and his debate partner retired to separate rooms with their girlfriends, where they all masturbated furtively?
If Unf wants to join the seething throng of non-contributing contributors to The Weblog, he's welcome to.
Seeing as how Unf is getting invitations to be a non-contributing contributor at other blogs, I'd like to extend an invitation to start up a blog with me. He wouldn't have to do anything other than lend his name to the enterprise.
The area where the penis meets the groin would seem to fit this definition: A joining of two things or parts so as to admit of motion. Unless there is something wrong with my joint. In which case I should get that movement checked out.
Also, Wolfson, SB, FL, or Weiner should really use their analytic skills and define under what circumstances we can consider ogged's TiVo reset. What if he decides to switch teams? Must he be a top? Etc. Failing to plan is planning to fail, people.
Unless there is something wrong with my joint. In which case I should get that movement checked out.
Boy, my first boyfriend was always insisting that he had an abnormal penis because you could move it around like a joystick. Not knowing better, I believed him, until I encountered others. He was relieved when I informed him that in fact, he was just like everybody else.
I think anatomical jointhood implies a meeting of ligaments and bone. What you have there is a cock nexus. I mean, you can tense and relax, tense and relax, tense and relax your buttocks, but what you have there is not, by dint of your waggling, a joint.
It's not a need like food and shelter, but if you had to perk your butt rhythmically to save a kitty-cat from drowning, you might feel justified in saying "need".
There are ligaments associated with the penis, and we do call inserting one's penis in another "boning," so I think we're at least metaphorically close even on your definition.
On 40, I want to say that the real question is in a disaster, if you had to choose, which would you save, your penis or your cat. But that's too easy. What about: your penis or your mom?
I was thinking both hands. Maybe both legs, below the knee. I'll leave it to the more zealously imaginative here to lay out the situation that leads to such a decision.
But it makes so much sense! What does Matt Weiner become when you remove the weiner? And you notice that Munich in fact has no sausage? (Note: Not really.)
I don't see what incentive Unf has not to tell FILTB about the blog. It's not like he ever posts anything revealing (or anything at all).
And--"ah, so you're the other half of Unfogged"--clearly he did not mean the other half to Unf, since Unf does not take half the burden. So you must be the other half with respect to another participant in the conversation--that is, FFIL. And who's the other other half? Labs. So FFIL is Labs. As well as Wolfson. He gets around.
Reading the Weblog led me to wonder why chiropractors refer to their practice as chiropractic, and not something respectable like chiropracty or chiropraxis.
Somehow the familiarity of those times survives the years; we chatted amiably for hours, noting that we'd both lost touch with the folks we'd been dating.
I've read this story before. That's not the ending. Everyone! TiVo resettage!
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 09-18-05 11:19 PM
Yay!
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 09-18-05 11:20 PM
I guess Unf will have to go find himself a new blog to hide from the in-laws, Alameida-like. And decades from now, some enterprising young blog-historian can trace the connections of secret blogs hiding secret bloggers in the face of marriage.
Posted by Saheli | Link to this comment | 09-18-05 11:22 PM
Apparently unfogged is "the Bloggy-Blog par excellence [sic]".
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 09-18-05 11:23 PM
Think of it, ogged. If you met a girl of whom it was true not only that you could tell her about unfogged (which you'd be forced to do eventually anyway), but also that you could tell her parents, wouldn't that mean that she was The One?
Though I suppose this means that the ex's parents were in the dark.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 09-18-05 11:31 PM
FILTB = father I'd like to buttfuck? father I'd like to bite?
Posted by Maynard Handley | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 1:12 AM
woo Unf!
At his own engagement party?
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 6:23 AM
So "amiably chatting" is what they're calling it nowadays.
If Unf wants to join the seething throng of non-contributing contributors to The Weblog, he's welcome to.
Posted by Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 6:38 AM
ogged,
I really don't fit the part of the actor/friend in "Sideways" but dude - "Engagement party," "old friend," "canoodling memories."
I mean, c'mon, you aren't going to get a better setup than this. Ever.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 7:54 AM
Tripp, how did the play go?
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 8:18 AM
Chopper,
Nice, very nice. Sold out both nights, future tickets selling well, standing ovulation. Thanks for asking.
One bit of lowbrow humor - I lift a cast member as she runs in the air to get away. Saturday I must have lifted her a little too close, her heel plunked me in the wedding tackle.
It was one of those cases where the sensation starts small and grows. Totally my fault, but this bass was singing soprano until the end of that song.
I won't make that mistake again!
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 8:28 AM
The acronym is FFIL (future father-in-law). Geesh, ogged, haven't you spent any time on the knot or wedding channel d-boards?
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 8:48 AM
Canadian Geesh!
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 8:53 AM
hmmm apparently my magic internet connection has picked up vibes from a parallel universe where people on debate teams get laid. Who won the Second World War over there?
Posted by dsquared | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 10:00 AM
I see trackbacks still don't go to the right post.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 10:09 AM
a parallel universe where people on debate teams get laid
Either "canoodling" means something different to the Brits or you haven't been following the saga of ogged's TiVo.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 10:19 AM
And from the sound of it, it was low-impact canoodling at that. Ogged and his special friend were probably just hugging.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 10:23 AM
We all know what "lite" beer and making love in a canoo have in common, no?
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 10:25 AM
I've heard it with "American beer".
Anyway, I believe all we really know about ogged's TiVo troubles comes from the post–high school period, nicht wahr?
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 10:35 AM
Fun and excitement in a vaguely cylindrical object, somewhat diminished by an attempt to avoid the negative consquences of sensual indulgence, in one case, calories, the other discovery by the camp counselor?
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 10:37 AM
I took
we were innocents
to suggest the TiVo-independence of his ministrations. But looking at it again, he could just mean that the N of his N-some was never more than 2.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 10:50 AM
I made your second interpretation first; after all, "we were innocents" is qualifying/explaining "separately joint".
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 10:55 AM
So it's possible the post contains ironic humor.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 10:57 AM
I was also unsure about what work "we were innocents" is doing in a discussion of hotel room canoodling.
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 10:57 AM
On renaming the site—I think "Pwn-tang" is available.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 11:06 AM
Are you suggesting, SB, that by "separately joint; we were innocents" ogged meant that he and his debate partner retired to separate rooms with their girlfriends, where they all masturbated furtively?
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 11:07 AM
I'm suggesting that ogged could have written "separately join; we were the Mulvaneys" with equal clarity.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 11:11 AM
You just wanted to write "furtively", anyway.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 11:12 AM
Who would be pwn, and who would be tang?
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 11:14 AM
Wait a sec: which joint was being canoodled? Maybe d-squared's interpretation was correct.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 11:14 AM
If Unf wants to join the seething throng of non-contributing contributors to The Weblog, he's welcome to.
Seeing as how Unf is getting invitations to be a non-contributing contributor at other blogs, I'd like to extend an invitation to start up a blog with me. He wouldn't have to do anything other than lend his name to the enterprise.
Posted by Ucked | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 11:15 AM
It's not really a joint, you know.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 11:16 AM
I believe at my school the debate team girls all had crushes on the faculty advisor; the debate team boys, not so much.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 11:20 AM
The area where the penis meets the groin would seem to fit this definition: A joining of two things or parts so as to admit of motion. Unless there is something wrong with my joint. In which case I should get that movement checked out.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 11:22 AM
Also, Wolfson, SB, FL, or Weiner should really use their analytic skills and define under what circumstances we can consider ogged's TiVo reset. What if he decides to switch teams? Must he be a top? Etc. Failing to plan is planning to fail, people.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 11:25 AM
Unless there is something wrong with my joint. In which case I should get that movement checked out.
Boy, my first boyfriend was always insisting that he had an abnormal penis because you could move it around like a joystick. Not knowing better, I believed him, until I encountered others. He was relieved when I informed him that in fact, he was just like everybody else.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 11:30 AM
heheheh, she said "joystick".
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 11:32 AM
I think anatomical jointhood implies a meeting of ligaments and bone. What you have there is a cock nexus. I mean, you can tense and relax, tense and relax, tense and relax your buttocks, but what you have there is not, by dint of your waggling, a joint.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 11:35 AM
Technically, you don't need to tense and relax your buttocks.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 11:36 AM
It's not a need like food and shelter, but if you had to perk your butt rhythmically to save a kitty-cat from drowning, you might feel justified in saying "need".
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 11:40 AM
Isn't the Stop Press news that Unf is marrying into the Wolfson family?
35: Clinton Rules? Although the idea that you had sex if you got to second base was always ridiculous.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 11:42 AM
SB:
There are ligaments associated with the penis, and we do call inserting one's penis in another "boning," so I think we're at least metaphorically close even on your definition.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 11:43 AM
40: can you send me a movie of the incident that inspired this comment?
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 11:43 AM
SCMTim: I concede.
Matt: You have a thing for kitty-cats, don't you.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 11:47 AM
On 40, I want to say that the real question is in a disaster, if you had to choose, which would you save, your penis or your cat. But that's too easy. What about: your penis or your mom?
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 11:48 AM
The lady or the tiger, eh?
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 11:49 AM
Still too easy.
Posted by Tarrou | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 11:50 AM
The lady or the tiger, eh?
That story's ending is such a copout.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 11:54 AM
45: Actually, a harder question would be "my penis or someone else's cat."
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 11:59 AM
I suppose that takes care of 44, too.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 11:59 AM
Yep. It would be much improved (if still a copout) just by striking the final paragraph.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 12:01 PM
I believe "sepeartely joint" was Ogged's way of clarifying that they weren't a foursome.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 12:03 PM
Your penis or your right hand?
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 12:04 PM
Matthew Munich, rhymes with "eunuch".
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 12:05 PM
I was thinking both hands. Maybe both legs, below the knee. I'll leave it to the more zealously imaginative here to lay out the situation that leads to such a decision.
Posted by Tarrou | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 12:07 PM
That was a crappy comment. Sorry, Matt.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 12:07 PM
No no, nice, now that I pick up on the Munich-Wien connection.
(5, 4, 3, 2...)
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 12:09 PM
I had that connection in mind when I wrote it, of course.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 12:12 PM
Lite beer and making love in a canoo are both effing close to water. Yuck yuck.
And, Matt, re 49 - that would have to be some helluva cat!
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 12:13 PM
Yes, but I didn't get it at first.
Aren't you supposed to be melting down? Did you vaccinate yourself against it by melting down in advance?
Tripp, I really like my cat.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 12:14 PM
Uh, by "of course", I meant, "not really".
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 12:15 PM
I understood what you meant, SB.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 12:17 PM
But it makes so much sense! What does Matt Weiner become when you remove the weiner? And you notice that Munich in fact has no sausage? (Note: Not really.)
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 12:18 PM
OK, back on topic:
I don't see what incentive Unf has not to tell FILTB about the blog. It's not like he ever posts anything revealing (or anything at all).
And--"ah, so you're the other half of Unfogged"--clearly he did not mean the other half to Unf, since Unf does not take half the burden. So you must be the other half with respect to another participant in the conversation--that is, FFIL. And who's the other other half? Labs. So FFIL is Labs. As well as Wolfson. He gets around.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 12:22 PM
I might say that I'm always-already melting down, if I knew what that meant.
Also, Matt, aren't you owed two whole summary bannings now, on account of 57 and 64?
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 12:25 PM
Well, if he's still interested in the ladies sans sausage, especially if he does retain his Eien, Matt might very well be called Munchen...
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 12:25 PM
That pwns, Chopper. Now stay away from me.
(Why do I get banned for 57?)
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 12:27 PM
Besides arming me with a vocubulary I don't understant, reading The Weblog makes me wonder: why aren't biologists called "biologians"?
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 12:29 PM
67: Because you referred to the Pentagrammaton by name.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 12:30 PM
Reading the Weblog led me to wonder why chiropractors refer to their practice as chiropractic, and not something respectable like chiropracty or chiropraxis.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 12:36 PM
They would, if they were pragmatic.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 12:42 PM
So why are attendees called attendees instead of attenders? I never got that.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 2:43 PM
At least Unf gets some. Apologies if I swaggered too late into this, but I couldn't be arsed to read the other 70 comments.
Posted by peter snees | Link to this comment | 09-19-05 4:32 PM
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Posted by Justin Moore | Link to this comment | 12- 6-05 6:45 AM