why doesn't ogged have many females on his blogroll? It's because he's a sexist. And he's got Insty -- because he's secretly a conservative, and likes rich people better than poor people. Ogged, you fascist, sexist, man-with-a-penis. We shall take control of your blogroll.
It's not so much the sexism that bothers me -- I just wish he'd stop advocating torture. Particularly torture without due process first; that really annoys me.
Remember when ogged said that racial classifications make perfect sense in many ways, not just as elements of our social discourse? And then Farber vehemently agreed with him, telling people how great racial classifications are. That was an odd thread.
I really think this is terribly inappropriate. Ogged goes on hiatus, putting himself in great personal peril to restore the Persian monarchy, and this is how we treat him?
If Ogged would only step out of his black mercedes for a second, stop playing with all his jewelry, and put his cell phone down, I think he could put an end to all of this right quick.
Ben, Remember that time you and I hung out with Ogged in person, and it was kind of awkward, not only because the whole Bitch PhD incident had just happened, but also because he propositioned us for sex? I never did follow up -- what did you guys do after I left?
The reason why ogged was so touchy on the "Billy Joel would have been an accountant" question is that during his childhood Ogged, too, dreamed of being an accountant.
Given the recent mil-blog brouhaha, we should at least consider the possibility that ogged did write his last post willingly, and cannot presently reply from the place where he is "Camp"-ing. Fortunately, baa has a van....
When I was taking Russian in high school, it was the class I was worst at. Having not used it at all since high school hasn't made me better. I did see a great Russian art exhibit on Saturday, which made me wish that I still was studying it and/or knew more about it.
I was actually able to read it - slowly, agonizingly, with-a-dictionarily - a few years ago, so I'm determined not to let it go. This has resulted in the purchase of books in Russian (with glossaries and accent marks) but little actual practice time.
In the perverted Persian version of Kancho, Pancho, gold watches, not fingers, are the tools of intromission. Pancho players are like the squirrels of bling, stashing their Rolex booty for "later". That sound you hear is Ogged's butt ticking.
eb: Supermemo. (Site's down at the moment. There are free versions there.) This makes it practical to spend five minutes a day learning words. If you can't spend that long, you might as well not be learning Russian anyway.
I have yet to finish learning Spanish. I can't decide whether to do that to communicate with the locals here (in Texas) or to learn French or Dutch so I can go to Europe or to learn Chinese to prepare for the new world order. Or to learn Lojban. But I want to master some other language.
"Mother, she's just a stranger"! As if men don't desire strangers! As if... ohh, I refuse to speak of disgusting things, because they disgust me! You understand, boy? Go on, go tell her she'll not be appeasing her ugly appetite with MY food... or my son! Or do I have tell her because you don't have the guts! Huh, boy? You have the guts, boy?
Raging homophobes, everywhere! You're fascinated enough by gays that you read Ogged's posts every day, obsessively, and yet all you want to do is make fun of him for his sexuality.
I see him from across the pool. He looks over. He wears goggles. I can't tell if he is looking at me, but my heart skips a beat anyway. He dives, his perfect persian ass--flat as a board--sharply defined for just a moment before he slices into the water. He strokes, powerful muscles gleaming in the noonday sun, each pull of his thin-wristed arms bringing him closer to me, clouds of body hair stretching and retracting ith each movement like erotically-charged black cilia.
He arrives. He lunges out of the pool and kneels before me. He whispers "Are you the Tivo keeper?" I say, "Yes. Reset me."
Trembling, he reaches for the waistband of swimsuit. Working swiftly, knowingly, he pulls down, revealing the proud, throbbing manliness of my star-nosed schlong. "At last!" he sighs.
"Ogged! What are you doing?" No! That harridan won't prevent our love from flowering at last! I thrust towards his gaping mouth, frantically. But it's too late! He's heard his mother's call and slips back into the water to return to her side, leaving me alone and aching with need.
The real reason ogged's ex left him practically at the altar is that after he knocked her up (the only reason they got engaged), he started to become preemptively worried that, if he witnessed the birth, he would no longer desire her sexually. This proleptic concern grew so strong that he found himself unable to perform (a condition which persists to this day—or would, if it were relevant to his situation), and she left him, preferring to go it alone and raise her child without the "help" of a pussy like ogged. Now she's a lesbian and single mother in NYC, and you can catch her zany adventures every Thursday on NBC.
If someone were to impersonate her, it would not be inconsistent to leave off the "itch." Which isn't to say, necessarily, that those posts were impersonations.
This is easily the worst over-100 thread ever recorded here. Oh, and I am gay, so gay that I think only the gayest thoughts in the gayest way imaginable. Also, I am Persian and a swimmer and interested in philosophy, three things that intensify my already-gay gayness exponentially.
Fortunately, though, I am not the only gay in oggedville. And, for the record, I am not as gay as Wolfson.
I strongly resent the implication that I would ever feel the need to impersonate ogged, which would be akin to evaporating. I can do nothing about it if he wants to use my email address as he sends his love notes to wolfson, er, I was supposed to keep that secret, so keep it to yourself.
By the way, ever seen a photo of ogged with George Michael? I thought not. Hmmm.
Not long ago I ran across a record called "unf! unf!" which no doubt refers to some of this. I was disappointed that "ogg" was nothing similar, but the man has been known to be called 'o-face'.
Ah fuck. Good thing I use my own name, so there's no chance of blowing my cover. The story of why I had that link lying around is long and of no interest whatsoever.
Teleological mechanisms are operating. The existence of the boundary entails multiple possible outcomes. People say, "Hey, that's creationism". But that doesn't matter—because of our strike zone.
What is so great about Akira? I have never, ever understood why legions of CS geeks swear by it. I've seen it thrice, and still don't understand the story; that seems like a pretty big design flaw to me.
I couldn't tell you. I've only seen it once, and even then not the whole thing. Or at least, I don't remember any of it except the (to me, inexplicable) monsterfication part.
Oh, and the part where the main characters keep calling out to each other, John and Marsha style.
I tried. I tried. I sent a photo. He says no, but thanks.
(Perhaps he is trying to keep the photo to himself? He really is secretly in love with me and doesn't want all of you scoundrels seeing a cleavage shot)
I tried. I tried. I sent a photo. He says no, but thanks.
(Perhaps he is trying to keep the photo to himself? He really is secretly in love with me and doesn't want all of you scoundrels seeing a cleavage shot)
If ogged forward the photo that he's currently ogling to FL and has FL post it (this is what he suggested) that sort of almost halfway counts as him posting, right?
What makes it all the more interesting is that the photo was taken in ogged's presence :)
Gross, somebody ogged in here.
Posted by Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 9:44 AM
Anybody know any good fart jokes? Or any really bad ones, for that matter?
Posted by My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 9:57 AM
FL, you should try to convince BitchPhD to start posting with your login. Then the fur will fly.
Posted by cw | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 10:07 AM
We've got to start deliberately misconstruing each other, and conducting ourselves uncivilly.
FL, you are a racist.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 10:19 AM
posting a reverse DNS on ogged in 3... 2... 1...
Posted by tom | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 10:19 AM
why doesn't ogged have many females on his blogroll? It's because he's a sexist. And he's got Insty -- because he's secretly a conservative, and likes rich people better than poor people. Ogged, you fascist, sexist, man-with-a-penis. We shall take control of your blogroll.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 10:27 AM
It's not so much the sexism that bothers me -- I just wish he'd stop advocating torture. Particularly torture without due process first; that really annoys me.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 10:30 AM
It isn't so much the torture, as it is the torturing of blackies.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 10:31 AM
Torture as due process!
Posted by Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 10:31 AM
[redacted]
Posted by [redacted] | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 10:33 AM
[redacted]
Posted by [redacted] | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 10:34 AM
This game is surprisingly similar to the one we played when ogged wasn't on hiatus.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 10:36 AM
Remember when ogged said that racial classifications make perfect sense in many ways, not just as elements of our social discourse? And then Farber vehemently agreed with him, telling people how great racial classifications are. That was an odd thread.
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 10:36 AM
Bill Laimbeer is the greatest ever to have played the game.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 10:37 AM
The Jordan-era Bulls won primarily by cheating.
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 10:40 AM
"I guess I can only add that Rachel Wacholder has the ass of a young boy."
Lots of women have asses like young boys, and some young boys have asses like women. Why you gotta categorize, bigot?
"It isn't so much the torture, as it is the torturing of blackies."
Race isn't real; therefore, you could be torturing blackies and not know it. And what about Blondie -- that cartoon isn't funny at all, racist.
"It's not so much the sexism that bothers me."
Indeed: I would expect not, from an avowwed sexist who makes distinctions based on sex, thou noticer of differences and invidious sex monger!
Posted by Anonymous | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 10:41 AM
that was me.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 10:41 AM
I don't like it when rock groups aren't earnest.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 10:44 AM
Bob Dylan is totally overrated. And Christy Turlington ain't all that, either.
Star-nosed mole farts.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 10:49 AM
I was trying to think of something derogatory to say about swimming, but I couldn't come up with anything clever.
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 10:51 AM
Oh, WMWBSLB?
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 10:52 AM
BG--may I suggest the old honorable "Swimmers are teh ghey"?
What is it with star-nosed moles, anyway?
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 10:54 AM
Hey, FL, can you work some ip magic so that when ogged visits the site he gets redirected here?
Posted by My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 10:54 AM
I wish I could, believe me.
Also, Tom Hilde is my new best friend. He convinced me that people who cannot spell are completely stupid, no matter what.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 10:59 AM
Torture as due process!
It only makes sense that a superstitious Persian would still believe in trial by ordeal.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 11:00 AM
Fart's no ass in team, to be sure.
Posted by Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 11:01 AM
Awesome, MAE. This is especially revealing.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 11:01 AM
I really think this is terribly inappropriate. Ogged goes on hiatus, putting himself in great personal peril to restore the Persian monarchy, and this is how we treat him?
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 11:05 AM
If Ogged would only step out of his black mercedes for a second, stop playing with all his jewelry, and put his cell phone down, I think he could put an end to all of this right quick.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 11:07 AM
LB--That was awesome. Persian was the icing on the cake.
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 11:07 AM
What is it with star-nosed moles, anyway?
Reference.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 11:12 AM
text--I don't think he drives a mercedes; I'm pretty sure ogged has a beamer.
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 11:13 AM
Everyone knows that Persians can't drive.
Posted by Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 11:14 AM
I think a series of posts contemplating the unreasonable superiority of soccer to other sports is in order.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 11:15 AM
Ben, Remember that time you and I hung out with Ogged in person, and it was kind of awkward, not only because the whole Bitch PhD incident had just happened, but also because he propositioned us for sex? I never did follow up -- what did you guys do after I left?
Posted by Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 11:15 AM
I heard they jammed out to the Beatles and talked about Dinesh D'Souza's groundbreaking thoughts on the end of racism.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 11:21 AM
We went down to the docks and engaged a bit of rough trade.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 11:21 AM
Then he told me that both of us were free to reveal the location of oggedville if it should ever be required to get him back to blogging.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 11:21 AM
What about Yo-Yo Ma?
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 11:22 AM
Kyle McLachlan joined in.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 11:25 AM
I've heard that Ogged is a lawyer living in Chicago, if anyone cares to confirm.
Posted by Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 11:26 AM
It's been so hard for me to resist making "insider" references to Ogged's Kankakee hang-outs, since Oggedville and Kankakee are one and the same.
The toothless ladies around there really love a rugged Iranian man.
Posted by Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 11:26 AM
Maybe that wily Persian has taken a vacation from working to go to Sweden and track down his inamorata, the Grad Student.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 11:26 AM
41: if Unf and Ogged were the same person, that would explain … well, very little, really.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 11:28 AM
Isn't ogged in Vancouver?
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 11:30 AM
I think we're all missing the point here, which is that Ogged just isn't relevant anymore.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 11:30 AM
Ogged might be commenting under an alternate pseudonym.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 11:30 AM
Found him!
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 11:33 AM
Sarah Vowell is super hot, and it's all because she's so squeaky.
Her cousin Sarah Consonantovich is even hotter because she's also Russian.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 11:35 AM
Yay, Ben!
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 11:39 AM
Though I should point out her name would be "Sarah Consonantevna".
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 11:41 AM
I think what makes Russian women so hot is their deep, consolable happiness.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 11:41 AM
Or "Consonantova". Hell, I don't know.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 11:41 AM
SB—maybe she's a transsexual. Ogged gets off on weird shit.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 11:42 AM
сара консонантевна, может быть?
Posted by еб | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 11:45 AM
Konsonantevna it is!
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 11:47 AM
Ogged gets off on weird shit.
The sparkly kind, I hear.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 11:48 AM
Actually. And.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 11:51 AM
The reason why ogged was so touchy on the "Billy Joel would have been an accountant" question is that during his childhood Ogged, too, dreamed of being an accountant.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 11:53 AM
Given the recent mil-blog brouhaha, we should at least consider the possibility that ogged did write his last post willingly, and cannot presently reply from the place where he is "Camp"-ing. Fortunately, baa has a van....
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 11:58 AM
в других словарях
eb, What does this say idiomatically, if you know? I assume it's not talking about friendly dictionaries, but what then?.
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 11:59 AM
Ogged, too, dreamed of being an accountant
I always assumed that the present TiVo count evidenced that ogged is an accountant.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 12:00 PM
I'm pretty sure it means "in other dictionaries."
My Russian is actually terrible now that I'm so out of practice.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 12:03 PM
I'm trying to find a nice, rugged, manly woman. I wish Ogged was here to give me some pointers.
Posted by Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 12:09 PM
give me some pointers
You mean pointers like Kancho?
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 12:13 PM
When I was taking Russian in high school, it was the class I was worst at. Having not used it at all since high school hasn't made me better. I did see a great Russian art exhibit on Saturday, which made me wish that I still was studying it and/or knew more about it.
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 12:14 PM
They Might be Giants are so, so good.
As is Prussian Blue.
I'd say that both bands are better, more creative artists than Bob Dylan, but it's redundant, because, really, who isn't?
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 12:19 PM
You know what sounds like a good idea? Internment camps for you-know-who.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 12:20 PM
I was actually able to read it - slowly, agonizingly, with-a-dictionarily - a few years ago, so I'm determined not to let it go. This has resulted in the purchase of books in Russian (with glossaries and accent marks) but little actual practice time.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 12:23 PM
Deep down, Ogged is a Republican. As soon as the Democrats give up the "nuance," his party registration will reflect that.
Posted by Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 12:23 PM
Hey! TMBG is off-limits.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 12:25 PM
I know Ogged's mom. Biblically.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 12:27 PM
Ogged should quit denying that he has other reasons for owning the complete works of Tom Cruise, and follow his love into scientology.
Tom Hanks is the greatest actor who has ever lived.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 12:29 PM
Tom Hanks knows Ogged's mom. Biblically.
Posted by Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 12:31 PM
Tom Hanks may be Ogged's father.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 12:33 PM
In the perverted Persian version of Kancho, Pancho, gold watches, not fingers, are the tools of intromission. Pancho players are like the squirrels of bling, stashing their Rolex booty for "later". That sound you hear is Ogged's butt ticking.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 12:38 PM
eb: Supermemo. (Site's down at the moment. There are free versions there.) This makes it practical to spend five minutes a day learning words. If you can't spend that long, you might as well not be learning Russian anyway.
I have yet to finish learning Spanish. I can't decide whether to do that to communicate with the locals here (in Texas) or to learn French or Dutch so I can go to Europe or to learn Chinese to prepare for the new world order. Or to learn Lojban. But I want to master some other language.
Posted by pdf23ds | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 12:44 PM
I thought the Persian (per)version was called Dirty Sancho.
Posted by Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 12:45 PM
I know Ogged's mom. Biblically.
I think you mean SuperKoranically.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 1:00 PM
you've all been earning your pay this afternoon.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 1:29 PM
Wow, really excellent post from Atrios.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 1:34 PM
If ogged were a better person, he would get a better paying job in order to support his poor mother in her golden years.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 1:39 PM
And he'd have children already.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 1:47 PM
Jodi Foster smells her own farts, and she enjoys the smell also.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 1:49 PM
Gör någon har telefon antalen av ogged? jag synes till vara har förlorad den när jag returnerat till Sverige.
Posted by Swede | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 1:50 PM
pdf23ds, thanks for the recommendation. I'll check it out when the site finally goes back up.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 1:52 PM
What did I hear?
"Mother, she's just a stranger"! As if men don't desire strangers! As if... ohh, I refuse to speak of disgusting things, because they disgust me! You understand, boy? Go on, go tell her she'll not be appeasing her ugly appetite with MY food... or my son! Or do I have tell her because you don't have the guts! Huh, boy? You have the guts, boy?
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 1:57 PM
I'm back, bitches. Who wants some healthy avocado?
Posted by Bphd | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 2:22 PM
89 bitches!
Posted by Bphd | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 2:27 PM
Is that some sort of feminist counterpoint to the 40 virgins jihadists supposedly get?
Posted by Matt F | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 2:35 PM
You wouldn't understand because you are a man.
Posted by Bphd | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 2:36 PM
This is what I'm talking about, people!
Posted by Bphd | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 2:38 PM
I smell a Zizka.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 2:39 PM
If I remember Russian grammar correctly, "Zizka" would be the most likely genitive form of "Zizek."
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 2:43 PM
Your avocado comment reminded me that I need to make guacamole.
Posted by Matt F | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 2:46 PM
Also, you should make shirts with 91 on them.
Posted by Matt F | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 2:48 PM
Does "guaca" mean star-nosed?
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 2:48 PM
If the answer to 97 were "yes", you couldn't make a guacamole unless you were a guacamole.
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 2:50 PM
Maybe I am...
Posted by Matt F | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 2:53 PM
Or in the line of descent leading to the evolution of a guacamole. (Unless you're evangelical.)
Posted by pdf23ds | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 2:54 PM
It's 70 virgins, not 40.
Not that ogged would understand, if he were here, since he is teh gay.
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 2:55 PM
teh gay
No, I think it is a little more unusual. See 87.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 3:00 PM
It's 70 virgins, not a 40-year-old virgin, like Ogged. Who is teh gay.
Posted by Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 3:00 PM
They could be gay virgins.
Posted by Matt F | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 3:01 PM
Or maybe Miss Furr and Miss Skeene.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 3:03 PM
Armsmasher, are you in my brain?
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 3:05 PM
Raging homophobes, everywhere! You're fascinated enough by gays that you read Ogged's posts every day, obsessively, and yet all you want to do is make fun of him for his sexuality.
Posted by Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 3:08 PM
I think most of the gay-calling of ogged that goes on is probably wishful thinking.
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 3:09 PM
You've been reading my diary again.
Posted by Matt F | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 3:11 PM
I do dream of that Persian nose....
Posted by Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 3:20 PM
Dear Diary,
I had the dream again.
I see him from across the pool. He looks over. He wears goggles. I can't tell if he is looking at me, but my heart skips a beat anyway. He dives, his perfect persian ass--flat as a board--sharply defined for just a moment before he slices into the water. He strokes, powerful muscles gleaming in the noonday sun, each pull of his thin-wristed arms bringing him closer to me, clouds of body hair stretching and retracting ith each movement like erotically-charged black cilia.
He arrives. He lunges out of the pool and kneels before me. He whispers "Are you the Tivo keeper?" I say, "Yes. Reset me."
Trembling, he reaches for the waistband of swimsuit. Working swiftly, knowingly, he pulls down, revealing the proud, throbbing manliness of my star-nosed schlong. "At last!" he sighs.
"Ogged! What are you doing?" No! That harridan won't prevent our love from flowering at last! I thrust towards his gaping mouth, frantically. But it's too late! He's heard his mother's call and slips back into the water to return to her side, leaving me alone and aching with need.
I awake, sobbing.
Oh well. Time to start the day!
Thanks Diary! You're my only friend.
Love,
Matt F.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 3:36 PM
Yeah, we need some Tia fan fic to complement Chopper's offering. Maybe that would get something done.
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 3:38 PM
B-girl, I thought you were supposed to be writing the "Dear Diary" comments.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 3:42 PM
I'm horrified. Excellent work, sir.
And now to happy hour.
Posted by Matt F | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 4:05 PM
I think it's testimony to some kind of weirdly definite community norm that nobody has yet tried the nuclear option. I.e.,
My name is ogged and I approve of these messages.
Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 04:09 PM
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 4:09 PM
There's no "itch" in "Bphd".
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 4:12 PM
The real reason ogged's ex left him practically at the altar is that after he knocked her up (the only reason they got engaged), he started to become preemptively worried that, if he witnessed the birth, he would no longer desire her sexually. This proleptic concern grew so strong that he found himself unable to perform (a condition which persists to this day—or would, if it were relevant to his situation), and she left him, preferring to go it alone and raise her child without the "help" of a pussy like ogged. Now she's a lesbian and single mother in NYC, and you can catch her zany adventures every Thursday on NBC.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 4:50 PM
NBC?! Take it back!
Posted by Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 4:58 PM
116: that's the way she used to roll sometimes.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 5:00 PM
There's no "itch" in "Bphd".
That's not what Ogged told me.
Posted by girl27 | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 5:01 PM
If someone were to impersonate her, it would not be inconsistent to leave off the "itch." Which isn't to say, necessarily, that those posts were impersonations.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 5:01 PM
Ok, HBO. And there will be lesbian birthing sex scenes.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 5:06 PM
Let's not defame Bitch PhD.
Posted by Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 5:11 PM
This is easily the worst over-100 thread ever recorded here. Oh, and I am gay, so gay that I think only the gayest thoughts in the gayest way imaginable. Also, I am Persian and a swimmer and interested in philosophy, three things that intensify my already-gay gayness exponentially.
Fortunately, though, I am not the only gay in oggedville. And, for the record, I am not as gay as Wolfson.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 5:11 PM
Hooray!
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 5:15 PM
That's not Ogged.
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 5:15 PM
Rulez!
No defaming people who aren't ogged or Tom Hilde.
No impersonations.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 5:16 PM
It is so Ogged; he just happens to be using Peter Snees' e-mail address. That is perfectly consistent.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 5:18 PM
The Tom Hilde exception extends naturally to Scientologists, bad spellers, etc.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 5:19 PM
He talks just like ogged, and admits he is gay like ogged does/should. And his name, clearly stated, is ogged.
Do you know any other oggeds? I rest my case.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 5:19 PM
snees impersonating ogged, hmmm.
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 5:22 PM
Do you know any other oggeds?
There is this unusual page.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 5:25 PM
Also.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 5:26 PM
And here are some tips on how to avoid being ogged, which I presume ogged has been lately consulting.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 5:28 PM
Farted me to a pulp? Eeeewwwww.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 5:29 PM
I strongly resent the implication that I would ever feel the need to impersonate ogged, which would be akin to evaporating. I can do nothing about it if he wants to use my email address as he sends his love notes to wolfson, er, I was supposed to keep that secret, so keep it to yourself.
By the way, ever seen a photo of ogged with George Michael? I thought not. Hmmm.
Posted by peter snees | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 5:34 PM
Definition 2, I suppose.
Not long ago I ran across a record called "unf! unf!" which no doubt refers to some of this. I was disappointed that "ogg" was nothing similar, but the man has been known to be called 'o-face'.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 5:39 PM
Snogged!
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 5:40 PM
Matt's linking issues strike again?
So that's what you look like. I never figured you'd have such prominent bunny slippers.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 5:45 PM
That's probably a referral they didn't want to get.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 5:50 PM
124: Is this thing on?
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 5:51 PM
Ah fuck. Good thing I use my own name, so there's no chance of blowing my cover. The story of why I had that link lying around is long and of no interest whatsoever.
Definition 2
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 5:51 PM
140: ?
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 5:53 PM
Not 4?
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 5:54 PM
Weiner revealed! The cat slips.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 5:55 PM
143: Having people arrive at your site or picture from this thread may be a surprise to people who don't read unfogged (though maybe they do).
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 5:56 PM
In 146: "your" = "one's"
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 5:57 PM
Coming into this thread particularly, without context, would be an eye-opener.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 5:58 PM
For some reason I felt this Holbonic phrase would suit the company:
successive shafts from a whole quiver of deceased wife's sister marriage bills.
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 6:01 PM
Although, I could have been wrong about that.
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 6:09 PM
I like it very much. It has a kind of stumbling grace.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 6:13 PM
144: It (133) has that air of incomprehensibility, to me, that I associate with online gaming and certain kinds of hip-hop. And it ain't hip-hop.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 6:17 PM
On C-SPAN 2:
Teleological mechanisms are operating. The existence of the boundary entails multiple possible outcomes. People say, "Hey, that's creationism". But that doesn't matter—because of our strike zone.
I'm convinced.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 6:20 PM
Teleocracy!
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 6:24 PM
Is ogged on hiatus to get to Operating Thetan IV?
Posted by ogmb | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 6:40 PM
Teleocracy!
We are indeed slaves to our ends, at the Mineshaft.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 6:47 PM
155 -- No, he's off watching The Wire. I blame Yglesias.
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 6:59 PM
To think, we'll probably never know whether ogged is capable of multiple Saiselgysms.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 7:03 PM
Hey! TMBG is off-limits.
You know, SB, we may not know your gender but I'm beginning to feel like I know too much. Garrison Keillor & TMBG?
Posted by Anonymous | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 7:34 PM
And the Scorpions, Huey Lewis, Debbie Gibson, and Dido.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 7:36 PM
Don't forget Gerardo.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 7:37 PM
Touché.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 7:39 PM
Touché … Touché Suavo.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 7:40 PM
Also, John Denver.
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 9:16 PM
You know, if we really want ogged to come out of hiatus, we need to get profgrrrrl to post a revealing photo of herself.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 1:56 AM
Or maybe: she needs to get him to post a revealing photo of herself.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 2:28 AM
I believe Ben wins.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 7:30 AM
You know, if we really want ogged to come out of hiatus, we need to get profgrrrrl to post a revealing photo of herself.
It would certainly get my ogged out of hiatus, that's for sure!
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 7:48 AM
"out of" s/b "during"
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 7:59 AM
"we need to get profgrrrrl to post a revealing photo of herself.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 8:33 AM
that is awful. This thread will overwhelm and destroy all of unfoggeddom. We have broken all of ogged's laws. He will never return.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 8:40 AM
This thread is like the tentacle-y part of Akira.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 8:45 AM
SB:
What is so great about Akira? I have never, ever understood why legions of CS geeks swear by it. I've seen it thrice, and still don't understand the story; that seems like a pretty big design flaw to me.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 9:00 AM
I couldn't tell you. I've only seen it once, and even then not the whole thing. Or at least, I don't remember any of it except the (to me, inexplicable) monsterfication part.
Oh, and the part where the main characters keep calling out to each other, John and Marsha style.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 9:12 AM
So long as he's not coming back, let us dance around the golden calf, and revel in the destruction of the blog.
What did the persian say to the blackie? (answer below)
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 9:28 AM
Blackie!
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 9:29 AM
What did the Chicago Transit Authority say to Anna Karenina?
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 9:33 AM
I give up. What?
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 9:38 AM
we're sorry for the delay; trains will be moving shortly.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 9:41 AM
and that is how a blog dies.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 9:44 AM
All timely trains are alike, but each late train is late in its own way.
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 9:45 AM
I left out the beeps, though Tolstoy probably would have included them.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 9:49 AM
Plough plough plough plough Kitty, plough plough plough plough Vronsky, plough plough plough plough Madison and Wabash is next.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 9:49 AM
Ooh ... I'm trying a little behind the scenes work to see if I can prompt a post :)
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 9:54 AM
I think I've figured out Ogged's fiendish plan.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 9:55 AM
Flogging an ogged is like looking a dead horse up the arse.
What do polar bears get when they sit around too much?
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 10:14 AM
Re: 170
Why dear Profgrrrl, what sweet, um, ear you have.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 10:17 AM
Flogging an ogged is like looking a dead horse up the arse.
For those of us who have not engaged in the latter activity, would you care to expound on the similarities?
Posted by My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 10:23 AM
This thread is invalid due to multiple hog-line violations.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 10:59 AM
Did you just call me fat, John?
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 11:44 AM
I tried. I tried. I sent a photo. He says no, but thanks.
(Perhaps he is trying to keep the photo to himself? He really is secretly in love with me and doesn't want all of you scoundrels seeing a cleavage shot)
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 11:47 AM
I tried. I tried. I sent a photo. He says no, but thanks.
(Perhaps he is trying to keep the photo to himself? He really is secretly in love with me and doesn't want all of you scoundrels seeing a cleavage shot)
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 11:48 AM
I really don't think 185 is disproved.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 11:51 AM
In light of this, though, I don't really think we can accuse Ogged of having lost his solicitude for his homies.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 11:55 AM
Profgrrrl,
We ALL are secretly in love with you, bless your heart.
And "like looking a dead horse up the arse' is a wacky expression that, as far as I know, my Dad invented. I can only imagine what he means.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 11:58 AM
PG: what you need to do is post the picture on your blog, so that ogged makes a post here telling us about it. It's the Grand Tradition!
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 12:02 PM
Profgrrrl,
In Ogged's case, I don't think "secretly" is quite the right word.
I will, however, take the secret of my love for you to my grave.
Posted by Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 12:19 PM
I forget who current has claim to my blog-love. Somebody around here.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 12:55 PM
Assist . . .
Posted by My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 1:18 PM
It's Cala, for the Gershwin and Metallica comment.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 1:20 PM
200, thanks.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 1:20 PM
ha ha!
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 1:21 PM
Damn.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 1:21 PM
How long to 300?
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 1:22 PM
Never mind.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 1:23 PM
Hmm.
Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 01:30 PM
_______________________________________________
300
Aha!
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 1:33 PM
My God! What have you done?
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 1:35 PM
Oh, I thought that might be it. Gravest apologies for the spoilage.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 1:36 PM
No no, no apology necessary.
Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 01:39 PM
_______________________________________________
1000
1000! And a pony.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 1:41 PM
SB--how did you trick the comment box?
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 1:44 PM
Hey, we can all play this game.
_______________________________________________
10000
10000! And 10 ponies.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 1:47 PM
Oh, forgot the signature line.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 1:48 PM
The comment box frowns in displeasure.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 1:49 PM
That's it, I'm starting over.
Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 01:47 PM
_______________________________________________
1
Let's try to say things to make ogged break his hiatus.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 1:54 PM
This is entirely too silly for An Eclectic Web Magazine For The Discriminating News Customer.
Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 01:55 PM
_______________________________________________
0
The ur-comment.
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 2:01 PM
I just ...
[spoofed comment line, link and timestamp]
_______________________________________________
[spoofed comment number]
figured it out
Posted by Joe O | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 2:05 PM
If ogged forward the photo that he's currently ogling to FL and has FL post it (this is what he suggested) that sort of almost halfway counts as him posting, right?
What makes it all the more interesting is that the photo was taken in ogged's presence :)
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 2:41 PM
Please, anything to displace the nipple.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 3:14 PM
Are you allowed to tell the story behind 217, grrrrly?
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 10-26-05 2:16 PM
Only once ogged posts the photo :)
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 10-26-05 7:15 PM
This is just like the Plame indictments.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-26-05 7:17 PM
Has ogged been called to testify?
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 10-26-05 7:23 PM
I'm sure he'll be whipping out his subpoena any day now.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-26-05 7:42 PM
If he does, someone will have to give him testimony, and not the other way around.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10-27-05 9:50 AM
You don't really want me to post that, do you?
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 10-27-05 9:55 AM
If ogged suggested it, and went so far as to send you the photo, it would be negligent of you not to.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10-27-05 10:01 AM
I assume 225 is directed to PG? I mean, I don't see why I'd be expected to answer "No."
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 10-27-05 10:15 AM
(Does 220 hold if Labs posts it for Ogged, or are you holding out for the end of the hiatus?)
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 10-27-05 10:15 AM
It was for ogged to post. Anything else is a cheat.
So he showed you the photo, Labs? Or is that really ogged?
Posted by profgrrrrl | Link to this comment | 10-27-05 5:19 PM
Come back, Ogged! Your homies beseech you!
(Actually I'm not sure if it's proper for me to say this.)
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 10-27-05 6:07 PM
It sounds rather earnest.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 10-27-05 6:14 PM
fajita night at the firm buffet! A sizzling fiesta!
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 10-27-05 6:14 PM
I love you ogged like the fat partner loves firm buffet.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 10-27-05 6:16 PM
the fat sloppy one. Fat and sloppy like my love. Not fat and angry, like the other partners.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 10-27-05 6:17 PM