Re: A Post Of Great Social And Political Import

1

What does this have to do with a Mercedes-Benz?

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2

I couldn't think of a tie-in.

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3

"Witnesses report that the bug had gestured toward ogged with its cell-phone, believed to have been mistaken for a handgun."

Speciesist!

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4

Reliable sources tell us that the murder weapon was a crutch that had been stolen from a crippled kid Ogged was guarding in a pick-up basketball game.

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5

This is what comes of having a preemptive-first-strike policy.

Of course, my policy is kill 'em all, and let the entomologists sort 'em out.

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relevantly, let me just tell you that even though mosquito hawks look like giant mutated mosquitoes, they're totally not. no, they eat mosquitoes, which is great. I often kill then anyway because I hate to see anything so feeble blundering its way around. it's like junebugs; how the hell is this the result of brutal natural selection? is "just fly around randomly bumping into shit and tearing my wings off accidentally" really the greatest reproductive strategy ever?

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7

I know the ones you mean. I don't usually kill them, but I do try to convince them to go elsewhere, because they're so ugly.

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The bug was later determined to be a poo bug, and authorities say it was determined to unleash weapons of ass destruction on ogged's sandwich.

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is "just fly around randomly bumping into shit and tearing my wings off accidentally" really the greatest reproductive strategy ever?

It seems to work fine for the Belgians.

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10

What about staying the course? Way to cut and run, ogged.

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11

a crippled kid Ogged was guarding in a pick-up basketball game.

A kid he called "Blackie".

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12

This had a shot at making Ogged's "Worst Things I've Ever Done" list even before the commenting. I'm starting to think it's a lock.

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13

mosquito hawks look like giant mutated mosquitoes

Is that what those things are? they should learn to turn around and fly away from the wall after they crash into it, instead of just skittering helplessly up and down until the cat decides to kill them. I can't believe anything so dim could successfully hunt the wily mosquito.

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14

the wily mosquito?

Dude, those are some of the slowest motherfuckers around. Incredibly easy to kill.

Not that I would do that or anything, since that would be wrong.

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15

they see you when you're sleeping, they know when you're awake. You would just be killing the weak ones, if you were to kill a mosquito, which would be a good thing as they are an exception to the general law of karma. When you kill a mosquito, you get points.

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16

Ah, Skeeters, the MN state bird. Which reminds me, do you know what is smaller than a teeny weeny ant?

An ant's teeny weeny.

Which reminds me to never ride a bicycle.

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17

How to tell a Mosquito by sound:

In San Francisco: weeee-eee-eee

In the Sierra Nevada: buzzzzzzz

In Alaska: flap-flap-flap

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18

Whenever we had a mayfly infestation at college, we used to comment that the mosquitoes had been breeding the reactor pool again.

Frankly, it was all that reactor was good for -- it didn't put out enough power to run a hair dryer.

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is "just fly around randomly bumping into shit and tearing my wings off accidentally" really the greatest reproductive strategy ever?

It seems to work fine for the Belgians.


Belgian War Strategy

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