Re: Burning Questions

1

Absolutely- I got a used one for just $15 and it makes things very easy. You can make pie dough in about 1 minute (2 cups flour, 2/3 cup butter, 1/2 tsp salt, process and add ~1/4 cup cold water while spinning until you have a dough ball). You can also do things like hummus, salsa, guac. You're right that it's not great for everyday chopping because it's very easy to overdo it or leave big chunks behind. It is good for shredding (potatoes, cabbage) if you have the top attachment.

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2

For limited purposes, they're great, but they're not as revolutionary as you might think or hope. Round our kitchen, despite the existence of a full-dress food processor, most everything gets made or mixed by hand or, if a machine is necessary, using a KitchenAid mixer (e.g. for cake batter). The rare exceptions are sauces / condiments that require really fine chopping and blending. Regular pie dough gets made and mixed with (washed) hands (remember, in ordinary pie dough you don't actually want the butter to be evenly blended throughout).

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3

How good is your blender? We have a combination blender and food processer that, well, blends and processes.

My girlfriend uses the processer to make bread crumb toppings from things like Ritz crackers, and there's no better way to do it. I've used it to make salsa and barbecue sauce and really like having it around for those occassions.

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4

What Slol said. Of course, I enjoy doing fine chopping by hand and hand mixing pastry dough.

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5

My roommate has one and loves it.

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6

How do you decide which blog to post stuff to?

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7

Eh? This is the only blog Alameida posts to, as far as I know.

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8

Re: 6: It is determined by the need for secrecy. In this case, her in-laws must never know her deep and burning desire for a food processor.

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9

I'd say that if you cook a lot and aren't sure you need it, you don't. Various of my family members have had them, and they've generally collected dust.

(On the other hand, I do keep on thinking about the pie-crust potential. I have trouble with pie crust, and it would be nice if it were easier. If you have a big kitchen with a lot of storage space, then it might be worth it.)

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10

If you make salsa, you might enjoy the power of the processor; I made a gallon for a party one night- it took me 5 minutes from veg to dip. Before that fateful day I detested the whole food-processor industry.

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11

I think the way to go about buying a food processor is to determine another kitchen gadget that you kind-of need and find the combination utility. Whatever you can think of, it exists in tandem with a food processor.

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12

There is a certain value in being able to use the words "mortar and pestle" daily. If you get the food processor, you might have to give that up. That seems like a pretty high price to pay for a little less work.

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13

it's true; my in-laws must never learn of my needs. but, it seems kinda cool? I've got a KitchenAid also. well, and a spice grinder. still...

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14

I like having two food processors. One for large projects and another smaller chopper for making smaller needs, such as dipping sauces or vinaigrettes for one.

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15

But the spice grinder may not be up to what you want to do! For instance, I used my coffee bean grinder to make a dipping sauce once, because it was small, and now it is teh rusted.

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16

I think this definitively proves that spice grinder != food processor.

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17

I want to second SCMTim's pestle proviso.

I have a huge mortar and pestle.

You don't hear that often enough these days.

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18

I sort of wish I had one for making pasta and the aforementioned pie dough. That's it, though.

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19

Whoa, the mole. (shudder)

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20

You do come out of the story well, though. (Aside from your irresponsible non-kitchen-appliance having ways.)

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21

I just started to feel a lot better about the number of my meals which take the form "Chop some stuff up, put it on n tortillas, put the tortillas in the toaster oven."

I do, however, have a blender.

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22

(I mean: after following the link in 16.)

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23

Some unsolicited advice, called to mind by the mole story: any recipe that calls for 1/4 cup of chile powder does not have your best interests in mind. It is a shenanigan recipe.

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24

Other good uses for the food processor: breadcrumbs, mayonnaise, hamburger (in a pinch).

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25

Yeah, quarter cup's not nearly enough. So long as you're using Gephardt's, the only chili powder with real flavor to it.

Now that Susan's gone, though, it's 21 for me.

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26

Yeah, quarter cup's not nearly enough.

It depends on the proportions, doesn't it?

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27

25: Why "though"? Nothing stopping you from putting 1/4 cup of chili powder in your stuff you're going to put on the tortillas.

Gephardt's, eh? Noted.

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28

My protocol with chili powder is to put as much as I feel should go in, then do it again. And possibly again.

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29

Is it possible that what I picked up at the store was not what you all are calling "chili powder", but something else, like pain? I would double check, but I foolishly moved it into an unlabeled container, where it's currently sitting and gloating. I'm pretty sure the original packaging didn't say "pain".

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30

I've heard food processors do a nice number on poppy pods . . .

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31

But it does have a color like brimstone, and giggles like a baby Satan when I open then lid.

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32

I'm guessing it's powdered cayenne pepper. They look pretty similar.

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33

SB—that might've been jalapeno salt or (God help you) habanero powder. Hot stuff! Chili powder falls somewhere in the flavor-spice continuum between cumin and the little dried pepper flakes you see at pizza parlors.

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34

Alameida's choice of title for this post now seems strangely prescient.

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35

Not long ago I absent-mindedly dumped into my beans-n-stuff the amount of dried pepper flakes that I'd been planning to dump in of chili powder. (Was that an island constraint violation or what?) I think I'd already put in the stewed chipotle peppers. That was flavorful.

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36

If you have a food mill as well as your blender, you won't need a food processor. Food mills are great for things like tomato purée, shrimp bisque and pea-pod soup because they take out the seeds, shell fragments and fibers respectively, which neither a blender nor a food processor will do. But they also do well at things a food processor can, like making hummus or chopped liver.

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37

Also applesauce. Proper applesauce is made with the skins left on, and then removed with a food mill.

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38

Speaking of hot things, has anyone ever tried insanity sauce? Someone I knew was drunk, and he accidentally went to the bathroom with just a smidegeon on his finger. Ouch!

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39

I find that peeling the apples first is a lot less laborious than forcing them through the food mill, but I like my applesauce chunky. (Recipe: peel apples. Slice chunks off core into pot so that only apple flesh is in pot. Don't worry about size of chunks. Add tiny amount of water, so bottom of pot is wet, mayber two millimeters deep. Cover pot, boil over lowish heat. Ten minutes later, try to mash with fork. If it's not applesauce yet, keep boiling until it is. Add a little red wine if you like it pink, cinnamon if you like cinnamon. )

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40

I find that leaving the skins on gives the sauce a nice, ruddy complexion, and also subtle tannins. So red wine sounds like a appropriate substitute. I'll have to try it sometime, if I'm ever making heretical applesauce.

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41

they were good enough for Julia Child so they are good enough for you. It does sound a bit barbaric to use one for slicing onions though.

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42

You don't mention having a food mill. I mostly use mine for smoothing/blending pasta sauces that want smoothing or blending.

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43

Get one,they're a wonderful timesaver

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44

Insanity sauce has a nice flavor, and quite decent heat. The bottle didn't last long.

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45

41: dsquared, are you the only Brit who has heard of Julia Child? I thought that she created cooking television, but everyone tells me that that particular honor belongs to some crazy lady in England whose food was blue. (Delia Smith can be traced back to this woman, apparently. JC was way more fun than Delia Smith.)

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46

You know, I've never made applesauce. I have apples. However, I am absent a food mill. Maybe I'll try LB's method.

I've never made applejuice either. Can one make that without a juicer? Yes, I realize I could just google it.

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47

oooh, that Insanity Mustard looks good!

Mustard is the best condiment.

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48

Mustard is the best condiment.

Tartar sauce, bitch!

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49

Tabasco. Please.

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50

Aioli

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51

A bottle of rasberry wasabi mustard somehow ended up in our fridge (neither of apartment-mates recall buying it). It is among the best condiments I've ever experienced.

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52

Tartar sauce is too limited. And, McIlhenny's? That's not a condiment! It's a flavoring agent. Insanity sauce, for instance, is thick enough to be poured over your hot dog. McIlhenny's would just run all over and make the bun soggy. Chopper, don't come in here with your french-loving ways!

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53

For your timewasting pleasure, I present you with the Original Condiment Packet Museum.

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54

Tartar sauce is too limited.

Perhaps to a small mind.

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55

If you can find pomegranate vinegar, it's a lovely variation on the theme.

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56

54: My mind could be bounded by a nutshell. But really, why do you put it on besides fried catfish?

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57

Chopper, don't come in here with your french-loving ways!

Have I ever told you guys my theory for why the french horn is called the french horn?

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58

what

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59

57. Non.

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60

Pomegranate vinegar is a variation on tartar sauce?

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61

57. Non.

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62

Well, I don't truly consider it the king of condiments. That was just for (weak) comic effect. But since you asked, I put it on fried seafood of any category. Oh, and french fries. Loooove the tartar sauce on the french fries. And sometimes on burgers, when I'm feeling puckish.

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63

I think the french horn is called such, because like the French Disease, French Kissing, etc., it's very existence is evidence of sexuality which no proper Englishman could bear to discuss without a euphemism. What other instrument requires you to stick your hand up into something moist and warm?

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64

What other instrument requires you to stick your hand up into something moist and warm?

The strumpet.

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65

One hojillion points to apostropher.

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66

Can I cash my points in for fabulous prizes?

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67

In fact, a flourish of strumpets is making its way to your address as we speak.

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68

You misunderstand. That's how they greet you in hojillia, by pointing.

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69

dsquared, are you the only Brit who has heard of Julia Child?

Hope not; she's cited pretty prominently in the introduction to "French Provincial Cooking" by Elizabeth David, which is a bigger seller than the Bible over here, or at least it ought to be.

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70

I have a food mill. but no strumpets.

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71

Is 1 hojillion < > 1 jibbity-billion?

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72

A hojillion is a squillion jillions, while a jillion is a jibbety squillions. A squillion is a billion bullion Marillions. It's all very simple.

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73

Oh my God. Marillion too?

(I've never actually heard them, but that didn't stop me with Dido.)

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74

You've all heard this joke, right?

Aide: Mr. President, four Brazilian soldiers were killed in a tragic accident this morning.

Bush: Oh my God! How many is a brazillion?

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75

Yes. I'm pretty sure it's the best joke ever.

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76

the best joke ever

It's the best joke ever that can be told without hand gestures.

Why did the blonde go to church?

[Stretch arms out to sides]

She heard there was a guy in there hung like this.

Why are there no good boxers at The Mineshaft?

[Put fingertips and thumbtip together to make a teardrop shape out of hand]

Everybody there thinks this is a fist.

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77

If I have a jillion sixpence in the bank, but incur debts of 9 squillion rubles and 2 jibbety lire, but also see an income of .000001 hojillio shillings, how much money do I have/owe, in pesos?

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78

All of it.

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79

Michael is—Billy Joel's accountant!

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80

I'm disappointed that "Burning Questions", "Burning questions II", and "Burned into my retina" didn't lead to a post titled "Burning Sensation".

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81

They might yet—or might have, had you not ruined everything.

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82

Yeah, when I posted my comment on the misadventure with the Insanity Sauce, I thought that it really belonged in a thread called "Burning Sensation."

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83

FYI: burning sensations are covered in the Owner's Guide.

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84

This thing was supposed to come with a manual?

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85

What, yours is automatic? Really, the stick shift is better.

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86

The push-button transmission's always worked fine for me.

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87

Continuously Variable is more efficient.

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88

I'm waiting for the prices on the hybrids to come down.

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89

I like manual, but I have a tendency to wear out the clutch.

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90

I like long, scenic country drives.

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91

Ogged likes goin' mudding.

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92

Why did the blonde go to church?

[Stretch arms out to sides]

She heard there was a guy in there hung like this.

I was at a pub quiz at the weekend and one of the questions related to the Corcovado Christ statue near Rio de Janeiro. Someone asked "oh yes of course, which is that statue of Jesus with his arms outstretched" and was greeted with the reply "almost all statues of Jesus have his arms outstretched, it's one of the things he was famous for".

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93

"dsquared, are you the only Brit who has heard of Julia Child?"

More than one brit followed The Julie-Julia Project

( http://blogs.salon.com/0001399/ )

so no.

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