Other than to point out that real men don't have taste in shoes? The brain matter I could use up thinking about shoes is better spent on football, killing things and rutting throughout the land in all my tumescent glory .
9: Nope. But I don't like the shoes either. Then again, I'm terribly particular about shoes. I just don't like most of them. Also, I hate heels, even though I still wear them if necessary. Seriously, I had to wear heels both days last weekend and I started feeling homicidal.
I'm here, wearing two inch heels as we speak. Thank you! I wanted to look vaguely nice for the opera. They're unornamented, though; I hope that makes it okay.
I have to admit I never got the shoe thing. How, for example, can a shoe look cute? People can look cute. Kids and puppies are cute. Shoes? I don't get it.
Ohhhh, those profgrrrl shoes are lovely. I like the burgundy ones best. (Only one of those pairs of shoes has an ornament; twisted leather too fancy for you guys?)
I walk everywhere, so normally it's either my Chuck Taylors (comfy) or some kind of pretty flats that are probably way too frilly for SCMT.
Oh, please. You've spent the enire day sounding each other out, discussing your time at Harvard, and now you're discussing bunny slippers. Why don't you just ask him to move in already?
The young attorney in black pumps crossed her legs as she cast a disdainful glance at the philosophy professor, dressed in bunny slippers at an alumni function. She gestured to him to come with her into the hall. She would teach him a thing or two...
Eh, it's not really slash if it's a man and a woman.
I need to diversify. I can't get together with another Harvard person. You need Yale, Princeton or some other school to maximize one's offspring's chance of getting into college, because, you know, if you don't get into the right college you will never amount to anything.
And besides, like all those Yalies (perhaps it's my inner Yalie that I never nurtured by choosing to decline their offer) I plan to be SAHM or SAHW, and philosophy professors just don't make enough money for that.
(If it's not obvious from the above, my tongue was firmly planted in my cheek.)
"The rule is no fraternization with the Nobel nominees, " he growled sexily in her ear as he pulled her close, "but I've always been more an act-utilitarian anyway."
Speaking of Texas, I'm going to Dallas tomorrow. Any restaurant reccomendations from the Unfogged community? I'm specifically looking for Texas-style BBQ and possibly TexMex. The hotel I'm staying at is in Grapevine.
Armsmasher--Austin sounds sort of overrated to me. Relative to the rest of the state it's supposed to be liberal, but it's all relative. All the people I've known from Texas whom I liked have fled.
One, a philologist who got a scholarship to Exeter and then wound up doing doctoral work at Oxford, refused to concede that Austin was okay--even though UT has the largest Classics department in the country.
I would keep Louisiana for New Orleans--if it isn't going to be too prettified.
You are all 47 year old balding men, you are all 47 year old balding men, you are...
Hate to break it to you Tim, but it seems Unfogged has been invaded these last few months with scads of hyper-intelligent, left-of-center, succesful and talented women, many (most?) of whom are single. I blame Lizardbreath and PG. We thought we were letting in Wendys, not realizing that they'd turn the Lost Boys into a bunch of stuttering louts.
The pony nuzzled the commenter's ear, then moved lower, and lower. "Oh," thought SCMT, "he must think I have some sugar in my pockets." Little did he know that the pony was interested in a very different sort of treat, and that he would never be able to look a carrot in the face again without a tender, reminicent blush.
it seems Unfogged has been invaded these last few months with scads of hyper-intelligent, left-of-center, succesful and talented women, many (most?) of whom are single. I blame Lizardbreath and PG.
Clearly it's because a picture of me has been linked to.
Well, I'll play to form and be one more Austinite to tell you that it's the place I love the most. I'd live there still, but the city doesn't support my career: I suspect that a lot of people who leave, leave for that reason.
I think I take your point about Austin's liberalism: It wasn't until I moved to Washington, DC, that I heard a politician say on television that she was pro-choice (a Maryland senator, IIRC), and it was jarring. Definitely an artifact of Texas, but I'd argue it doesn't have much bearing on the mean political temperament of Austin.
SCMT and Pony lay breathing deeply, sleeping. Suddenly roused, Pony rose quietly and left the stable, taking with him some smokes and a terry robe. "Well, I'll be damned", Pony said, looking at the dimly lit figure who stood, leering, some distance from the door. It was Mr. Spock.
Chopper, if you can get around to Fort Worth, the Railhead Smokehouse ought to be your first stop for TX BBQ. I'm racking my brain for good Tex-Mex places near Grapevine but coming up a little short. . . .
Though he was fresh from Jim Kirk's side, Spock's pon far raged unabated. "Hello, Pony" he growled, reaching for the lunging bridle at the stall's entrance.
Ogged and Chopper, that image of Spock is really disturbing. I think, ironically enough, that it seems more real in being painted than it would be if it were a photoshopped effort.
In fact, the bridle was lunging away from Spock, as Tim had performed a pagan enchantment on the object, so that his dear pony could be harnessed only by him. Pony took the opportunity of Spock's momentary confusion to gallop off into the meadow. Spock and Tim were left alone.
Yeah, I thought the Sonny Bryan's out there was in Burleson, but it turns out that there's one in Grapevine, too. If you can't make it into Fort Worth, that's not a bad bet as far as chains go, but if the main concern is something not too far from your hotel, you might try Bartley's BBQ. I haven't been in years but it's was pretty decent as I recall. (Don't know anything about the other restaurant listed there, Charlie's, but it sounds like the sort of place that might serve chicken-fried steak w/cream gravy, a national TX delicacy.)
It should be noted that I know nothing about horses. I just ran across the term, filed it away in my brain, and it just popped up when I was searching for something that sounded kinda S&My.
You know what sounds vaguely S&My--speluncing. I once applied for a job as a tour guide at a national historic site. Those sites are run by the park service, and they use a common application. Speluncing was not one of the skills that I was able to check/ tick off.
Despite my current lack of knowledge of horseback riding (other than it gives women absoloutely phenomenal thighs and butts), I'm afraid I will be learning far too much in the not so distant future.
I have a 11-year-old niece who has been taking lessons for the past few years. She and her family are moving to town. I have a nearly 1-year old daughter. I fear the imprinting that will take place in the next few years is going to mean that I will inevitably be paying for riding lessons and stabling fees. She better not need braces, or college is right out.
I'm now fondly recalling the sex scene involving a horse in Stephen Fry's The Hippopotamus. "In this position he could stay for ever, he and the whole kingdom of life--animal, plant, or human, locked in a whirlwind of love."
Eh, the imprinting doesn't always take. My 6 year old's best friend is a fanatic horseback rider (she was both posting and cantering at 4, if that means anything to anyone.) Even though we were expecting it, Sally hasn't shown any interest in following in her footsteps.
I always advise marginal, boring guys who have trouble getting dates to get involved with horses. (And to watch Gone with the Wind, etc.) The horsie people I ever meet seem to be classy, romantic women. Or at least, women.
Horsewomen probably need less foreplay, and they're probably less offended by strong smells too.
No one ever takes my advice about anything, but this one would really work.
I too, am eager for John's explanation. (For what it's worth, exbeforelast was a horse woman--in the best possible sense--and, well, I'm eager to hear John's explanation.)
I just imagined a lot of jouncing around, plus the smells of sweat and so on -- you wouldn't be starting from zero. Perhaps there are special saddles which would make the man's job even easier. Also, she could close her eyes and think of the horse.
Interesting, sexy guys like me don't need crutches of this type, of course.
After seeing the Mr. Hands video (and I know at least some of you know what I'm talking about), no amount of rewatching Equus can make horses seem romantic.
You always have struck me as a smart fellow, Ogged. I can't tell you the number of people who have come up to me and said, "I knew better, that if you were warning me off, and yet..."
It's the "frilly" that kills PG's shoes. Bows, flowers, ornate decorations of any kind ... out. I don't see it with the boots, either.
Why o' why don't women (here, inc. ogged) understand shoes?
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 12:14 PM
I gave up on frilly shoes, and heels altogether, within a week of coming to New York. If I ever wanted to walk again, sturdy flats it had to be.
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 12:24 PM
Finally, an arbitrary standard of beauty that I can achieve! But how do you feel about battered sports sandals? Elderly Chuck Taylors?
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 12:57 PM
I'm hijacking this thread to wish Tia a happy birthday, if he's out there. She probably did something sensible like taking the day off, but otherwise.
Happy Birthday Tia!
(Perhaps we should send her some virtual shoes.)
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 1:02 PM
Feliz cumpleaños!
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 1:06 PM
Happy b-day Tia!
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 1:09 PM
and I wish Tia a happy birthday too. Let's all eat some sort of tofu dish in her honor.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 1:12 PM
Happy birthday! Hope you're writing more slash fiction for us!
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 1:17 PM
Happy birthday, Tia.
(Are y'all just going to let SCMT appoint himself arbiter of taste in shoes?)
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 1:21 PM
(Why not? You just did the same.)
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 1:24 PM
Other than to point out that real men don't have taste in shoes? The brain matter I could use up thinking about shoes is better spent on football, killing things and rutting throughout the land in all my tumescent glory .
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 1:25 PM
9: Nope. But I don't like the shoes either. Then again, I'm terribly particular about shoes. I just don't like most of them. Also, I hate heels, even though I still wear them if necessary. Seriously, I had to wear heels both days last weekend and I started feeling homicidal.
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 1:25 PM
(I expressed a preference; Tim denigrated the taste of all women.)
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 1:25 PM
Chopper, real men don't need brain matter to have opinions.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 1:26 PM
And Happy Birthday, Tia.
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 1:27 PM
I'm here, wearing two inch heels as we speak. Thank you! I wanted to look vaguely nice for the opera. They're unornamented, though; I hope that makes it okay.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 1:30 PM
I have to admit I never got the shoe thing. How, for example, can a shoe look cute? People can look cute. Kids and puppies are cute. Shoes? I don't get it.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 1:32 PM
Aw, c'mon.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 1:35 PM
It's hard for a shoe to look cute without a foot. It is the shod foot that's cute.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 1:36 PM
Ohhhh, those profgrrrl shoes are lovely. I like the burgundy ones best. (Only one of those pairs of shoes has an ornament; twisted leather too fancy for you guys?)
I walk everywhere, so normally it's either my Chuck Taylors (comfy) or some kind of pretty flats that are probably way too frilly for SCMT.
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 1:36 PM
Except for when I do wear heels (weddings), which totally kill my feet but once in a while is worth it.
Bunny slippers!!!
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 1:37 PM
I don't think I care for the profgrrrl shoes--any of them.
Weiner--those shoes look kitschy to me; they're sort of offensive for that reason.
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 1:43 PM
YOU DON'T LIKE BUNNY SLIPPERS???!!!!
(I actually don't own any myself.)
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 1:48 PM
Other than to point out that real men don't have taste in shoes?
No way. What about these?
Posted by JP | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 1:49 PM
The sexual tension between the hahvahdians could be cut with a knife.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 1:50 PM
What, Chopper?
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 1:55 PM
Oh, please. You've spent the enire day sounding each other out, discussing your time at Harvard, and now you're discussing bunny slippers. Why don't you just ask him to move in already?
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 2:00 PM
The young attorney in black pumps crossed her legs as she cast a disdainful glance at the philosophy professor, dressed in bunny slippers at an alumni function. She gestured to him to come with her into the hall. She would teach him a thing or two...
Eh, it's not really slash if it's a man and a woman.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 2:03 PM
I'm taking your Nobel Prize back, Tia. (Birthday wishes remain yours.)
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 2:08 PM
Chopper,
I need to diversify. I can't get together with another Harvard person. You need Yale, Princeton or some other school to maximize one's offspring's chance of getting into college, because, you know, if you don't get into the right college you will never amount to anything.
And besides, like all those Yalies (perhaps it's my inner Yalie that I never nurtured by choosing to decline their offer) I plan to be SAHM or SAHW, and philosophy professors just don't make enough money for that.
(If it's not obvious from the above, my tongue was firmly planted in my cheek.)
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 2:14 PM
Oh, you could totally be SAHW on my salary in Lubbock.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 2:15 PM
"The rule is no fraternization with the Nobel nominees, " he growled sexily in her ear as he pulled her close, "but I've always been more an act-utilitarian anyway."
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 2:15 PM
His oppositely-sexed bunny slippers humped each other in anticipation.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 2:18 PM
And in a swift change of genre, gave birth to ten bunny slipper babies that you must never, ever wear after midnight.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 2:20 PM
I also despise Texas and would be very glad to see it secede.
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 2:21 PM
Is that where dustbunnies come from? EPISTEMOLOGISTS?!?
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 2:23 PM
You are all 47 year old balding men, you are all 47 year old balding men, you are...
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 2:25 PM
I also despise Texas and would be very glad to see it secede.
C'mon. Say you'd keep Austin.
Posted by Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 2:28 PM
Speaking of Texas, I'm going to Dallas tomorrow. Any restaurant reccomendations from the Unfogged community? I'm specifically looking for Texas-style BBQ and possibly TexMex. The hotel I'm staying at is in Grapevine.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 2:30 PM
SCMT--Am not! You only wish.
Armsmasher--Austin sounds sort of overrated to me. Relative to the rest of the state it's supposed to be liberal, but it's all relative. All the people I've known from Texas whom I liked have fled.
One, a philologist who got a scholarship to Exeter and then wound up doing doctoral work at Oxford, refused to concede that Austin was okay--even though UT has the largest Classics department in the country.
I would keep Louisiana for New Orleans--if it isn't going to be too prettified.
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 2:32 PM
Love Austin, and I've never even been.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 2:32 PM
Dustbunnies are vagrant varmint fragments rent from the web of belief.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 2:33 PM
You are all 47 year old balding men, you are all 47 year old balding men, you are...
Yes, sssh, Tim, and you get a pony. Now go back to sleep, for when you wake, you'll have to face cruel reality once again.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 2:36 PM
You are all 47 year old balding men, you are all 47 year old balding men, you are...
Hate to break it to you Tim, but it seems Unfogged has been invaded these last few months with scads of hyper-intelligent, left-of-center, succesful and talented women, many (most?) of whom are single. I blame Lizardbreath and PG. We thought we were letting in Wendys, not realizing that they'd turn the Lost Boys into a bunch of stuttering louts.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 2:37 PM
Yes, sssh, Tim, and you get a pony.
The pony nuzzled the commenter's ear, then moved lower, and lower. "Oh," thought SCMT, "he must think I have some sugar in my pockets." Little did he know that the pony was interested in a very different sort of treat, and that he would never be able to look a carrot in the face again without a tender, reminicent blush.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 2:40 PM
LB--that's vaguely obscene!
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 2:42 PM
Tia's Law:
In a given thread, it's always the more or less dignified ones who are the first to break the bestiality barrier.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 2:43 PM
That was the idea, yes. Just following in Tia's footsteps.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 2:44 PM
Texas-style BBQ
Dear God, not again with the oxymorons.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 2:44 PM
From zero to pony bopping in 45 comments. Good, but we can do better.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 2:45 PM
LOL-SB
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 2:48 PM
SAHM? Also, happy birhthday Tia, and elderly Chuck Taylors can be hot.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 2:48 PM
it seems Unfogged has been invaded these last few months with scads of hyper-intelligent, left-of-center, succesful and talented women, many (most?) of whom are single. I blame Lizardbreath and PG.
Clearly it's because a picture of me has been linked to.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 2:49 PM
Well, I'll play to form and be one more Austinite to tell you that it's the place I love the most. I'd live there still, but the city doesn't support my career: I suspect that a lot of people who leave, leave for that reason.
I think I take your point about Austin's liberalism: It wasn't until I moved to Washington, DC, that I heard a politician say on television that she was pro-choice (a Maryland senator, IIRC), and it was jarring. Definitely an artifact of Texas, but I'd argue it doesn't have much bearing on the mean political temperament of Austin.
Posted by Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 2:51 PM
SCMT and Pony lay breathing deeply, sleeping. Suddenly roused, Pony rose quietly and left the stable, taking with him some smokes and a terry robe. "Well, I'll be damned", Pony said, looking at the dimly lit figure who stood, leering, some distance from the door. It was Mr. Spock.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 2:53 PM
The same can be said for elderly Chuck Norrises.
Happy birthday, Tia.
Posted by L. | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 2:54 PM
51: Thanks, BG.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 2:58 PM
Right here, Bridgeplate.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 2:58 PM
Chopper, if you can get around to Fort Worth, the Railhead Smokehouse ought to be your first stop for TX BBQ. I'm racking my brain for good Tex-Mex places near Grapevine but coming up a little short. . . .
Posted by Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 3:00 PM
Though he was fresh from Jim Kirk's side, Spock's pon far raged unabated. "Hello, Pony" he growled, reaching for the lunging bridle at the stall's entrance.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 3:00 PM
Though he was fresh from Jim Kirk's side, Spock's pon far raged unabated. "Hello, Pony" he growled, reaching for the lunging bridle at the stall's entrance.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 3:01 PM
I swear I only hit preview the first time.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 3:01 PM
And suspense builds, as we wait to find out what the bridle was lunging at.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 3:01 PM
The link so redundant, you had to post it twice.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 3:02 PM
And if it's apo-style BBQ you're looking for, there are Arby's locations throughout the DFW metroplex.
Posted by Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 3:03 PM
Ogged and Chopper, that image of Spock is really disturbing. I think, ironically enough, that it seems more real in being painted than it would be if it were a photoshopped effort.
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 3:05 PM
Armsmasher, what about Sonny Bryan's? THey have an outpost near Grapevine.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 3:06 PM
In fact, the bridle was lunging away from Spock, as Tim had performed a pagan enchantment on the object, so that his dear pony could be harnessed only by him. Pony took the opportunity of Spock's momentary confusion to gallop off into the meadow. Spock and Tim were left alone.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 3:06 PM
Happy happy, Tia. And I'm on Armsmasher's side of the BBQ debate - I was unmoved by the BBQ I had in Carolina. (But I ate a lot less roughage then.)
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 3:09 PM
"But is it logical?" Spock whispered urgently.
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 3:09 PM
seems more real in being painted than it would be if it were a photoshopped effort
Do you have reason to think it's not photoshop? Cuz that looks an awful lot like the watercolor filter to me.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 3:09 PM
Yeah, I thought the Sonny Bryan's out there was in Burleson, but it turns out that there's one in Grapevine, too. If you can't make it into Fort Worth, that's not a bad bet as far as chains go, but if the main concern is something not too far from your hotel, you might try Bartley's BBQ. I haven't been in years but it's was pretty decent as I recall. (Don't know anything about the other restaurant listed there, Charlie's, but it sounds like the sort of place that might serve chicken-fried steak w/cream gravy, a national TX delicacy.)
Posted by Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 3:13 PM
Bunny slippers?
I just have to say:
Now what's that bunny in my closet for?
With a mallet and some clippers
you find out. New Bunny slippers.
Don't be the Bunny.
Posted by Tripp | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 3:14 PM
LB, a lunging bridle is a bridle used in lunging.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 3:15 PM
Happy birthday, Tia!
Posted by Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 3:16 PM
No Tia, I don't. But I guess I'm just saying that by not aiming for photographic realism, it seems more real, and therefore, more disturbing.
The thought of Spock in any kind of romantic relationship is a bit unnerving.
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 3:16 PM
LB, a lunging bridle is a bridle used in lunging.
Lunging at what?
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 3:18 PM
Arby's
Arby's doesn't sell pork, but beef. Ergo, Texas-style, smartypants.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 3:22 PM
Happy birthday, Tia!
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 3:28 PM
Well, I wouldn't know, would I, because I'm eating at so many delicious TX barbecue pits and—and—damnit.
Posted by Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 3:31 PM
Happy birthday, Tia.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 3:35 PM
Lunging.
It should be noted that I know nothing about horses. I just ran across the term, filed it away in my brain, and it just popped up when I was searching for something that sounded kinda S&My.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 3:37 PM
Dammit.
Lunging.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 3:37 PM
Dude, I'm just giving you a hard time. I used to take riding lessons, way back when my mother decided we were going to pose as WASPS for a while.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 3:45 PM
You know what sounds vaguely S&My--speluncing. I once applied for a job as a tour guide at a national historic site. Those sites are run by the park service, and they use a common application. Speluncing was not one of the skills that I was able to check/ tick off.
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 3:48 PM
Fine.
{grinds teeth, walks away}
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 3:58 PM
Despite my current lack of knowledge of horseback riding (other than it gives women absoloutely phenomenal thighs and butts), I'm afraid I will be learning far too much in the not so distant future.
I have a 11-year-old niece who has been taking lessons for the past few years. She and her family are moving to town. I have a nearly 1-year old daughter. I fear the imprinting that will take place in the next few years is going to mean that I will inevitably be paying for riding lessons and stabling fees. She better not need braces, or college is right out.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 4:02 PM
I'm now fondly recalling the sex scene involving a horse in Stephen Fry's The Hippopotamus. "In this position he could stay for ever, he and the whole kingdom of life--animal, plant, or human, locked in a whirlwind of love."
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 4:02 PM
Eh, the imprinting doesn't always take. My 6 year old's best friend is a fanatic horseback rider (she was both posting and cantering at 4, if that means anything to anyone.) Even though we were expecting it, Sally hasn't shown any interest in following in her footsteps.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 4:05 PM
I always advise marginal, boring guys who have trouble getting dates to get involved with horses. (And to watch Gone with the Wind, etc.) The horsie people I ever meet seem to be classy, romantic women. Or at least, women.
Horsewomen probably need less foreplay, and they're probably less offended by strong smells too.
No one ever takes my advice about anything, but this one would really work.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 4:58 PM
Horsewomen probably need less foreplay
I really, really need to hear the reasoning behind this one.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 4:59 PM
I always advise marginal, boring guys who have trouble getting dates to get involved with horses.
And this, regardless of what I may have posted above, is still illegal in most states.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 5:00 PM
I too, am eager for John's explanation. (For what it's worth, exbeforelast was a horse woman--in the best possible sense--and, well, I'm eager to hear John's explanation.)
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 5:01 PM
Isn't it obvious?
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 5:02 PM
maybe it is, but making him go through the tedious explication would be pretty funny.
Posted by bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 5:03 PM
You might have an obvious explanation in your mind, but I'm willing to bet that it's not John's explanation.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 5:05 PM
It only seems obvious if we are talking about right after a horse-riding session.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 5:06 PM
or not. they feel like great bags of sand.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 5:07 PM
THat made me laugh out load, text.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 5:14 PM
That.
Loud.
Fuck.
100.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 5:14 PM
Why, when you laugh, does load come out, Chopper?
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 5:16 PM
Overactive prostate.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 5:17 PM
Makes sense.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 5:18 PM
IF I USE ENOUGH CAPITAL LETTERS MAYBE I CAN BE THE LOUD FUCK.
Posted by Joe O | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 5:21 PM
The loud fuck that keeps us awake at night. It goes:
umph umph umph Illogical!
umph umph umph Illogical!
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 5:23 PM
I just imagined a lot of jouncing around, plus the smells of sweat and so on -- you wouldn't be starting from zero. Perhaps there are special saddles which would make the man's job even easier. Also, she could close her eyes and think of the horse.
Interesting, sexy guys like me don't need crutches of this type, of course.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 5:25 PM
And of course, "Honey, why don't you go in and freshen up while I feed the horses and shovel a couple of tons of shit" is really very romantic.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 5:29 PM
After seeing the Mr. Hands video (and I know at least some of you know what I'm talking about), no amount of rewatching Equus can make horses seem romantic.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 5:39 PM
I know what you're talking about, but I didn't watch it after reading your warnings.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 5:40 PM
You always have struck me as a smart fellow, Ogged. I can't tell you the number of people who have come up to me and said, "I knew better, that if you were warning me off, and yet..."
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 5:42 PM
That's pretty much exactly what I thought: "If even the apostropher is shocked, I really don't need to see it.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 5:45 PM
Quote to be closed later, at my discretion.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 5:46 PM
'Forcing the rest of us to use single quotes until you do, I presume.'
Posted by Kriston | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 6:51 PM
Thanks, everybody, for the birthday wishes!
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 9:33 PM
I suppose I'm the last to jump on this birthday bandwagon, but I don't see why that should stop me.
5
4
3
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Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 10- 4-05 9:51 PM