Re: More whiteness!

1

the guy at Burger King was the the largest, blackest, gayest man I've seen in a very long time. Better luck on Friday, perhaps.

I would think that would be luck enough for anyone.

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2

the radio here is like it is everywhere else, namely, lousy

Have you tried AM?

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3

Is AM better? I'll try tomorrow.

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4

I don't know so much about better, but it's definitely stranger.

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5

Somewhere between DC and Princeton there is a spot where the only stations below 92 on the FM dial are a Spanish-language station and a Christian radio station out of Elkton that, when I was in this area, was playing the Extremely White Gospel Hour. Which was actually pretty cool; it sounded like a couple of guys who were as white as Stanard Ridgway strumming guitars and singing Carter Family-style tunes, which I really like.

Then it switched to the Missionary Report and I was bereft until I got in radio range of Philly, or something.

(See here for background.)

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6

I don't know so much about better, but it's definitely stranger.

He ain't just whistlin' dixie.

And it may help satiate your appetite for whitey.

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7

there's nothin' better than switching over to AM as soon as you get into the Shenandoah valley driving west from DC... I was headed out there a couple of summers back, and we were listening to this one guy get really worked up over the calculations of exactly how many people he'd met were saved, and how many were damned to hellfire. He'd met a lot of people.

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8

Extremely White Gospel Hour

Was it Bill Gaither?

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9

the Extremely White Gospel Hour

On MTV Italia the rap show is called "Un Cento Per Cento Black"

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10

MTV Italia is so much better than ours.

I was in Italy while they were really pushing an Italian version of Alanis Morrisette. This was early 2001, but it didn't seem pathetic, somehow.

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11

MTV Italia used to have (98-99- might still for all I know) two VJs, Chris e Kris, who were the incarnation of dumb American blondes (although one was Canadian), and spoke Italian with pronounced gringo accents, even though they were obviously fluent.

While kind of odd, it turns out there is a "rich" tradition in Italian TV of having corn-fed American girls host (or really, co-host, along with a oleaginous Italian guy) shows while affecting American accents, even though they are fluent in Italian, and in fact have spent many years in Italy (one of these girls was profiled in the IHT)

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12

Somewhere between DC and Princeton there is a spot where the only stations below 92 on the FM dial are a Spanish-language station and a Christian radio station

Around Kankakee that's the only stations anywhere on the dial.

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13

Down here, radio is usually only half as fun as late-night Jesus TV. My local favorite is Prophetess Hardaway, who, admittedly, is a poor representation of whiteness, what with being black and all. The evangelizing mostly serves as filler between pitches for their homegrown herbal remedies. The Hardaway's flagship product is the Super Fat Binder (pronounced Supafat Bineduh, very quickly).

"You see this skirt I used to wear? The devil was keepin' me fat, ladies. Keepin' the diabetes and the blood pressure just rollin'. But with the help of Jesus — and the Supafat Bineduh — I said 'Get thee behind me Satan!' And look at me now. I ain't big enough to hide him no more! Hallelujah!"

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14

affecting American accents

Radio Nova in Paris did that too. It got annoying fast.

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15

There's a part of west Texas where there's only one station on the FM dial -- country, of course. My family was once driving through after midnight when they were playing their special show of assorted country music oddities; the only one I can remember was Jeff Foxworthy's version of the Twelve Days of Christmas. It was awesome.

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16

A, what radio station is that herb lady on?

Can a person hear it from the Triad?

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17

Oh, it was TV, not radio. I think it was on WKFT (40) at midnight or one in the morning, though they don't mention it at all on their website, so maybe they're no longer producing the show. That would be a pity. It was supa-entertaining.

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18

Hmm. Maybe there's been a change. The MTV Italia I saw featured some guy named Paolino and a bunch of supernaturally attractive Italian girls. I suppose I could just be dense enough to not be able to identify American-accented Italian (I don't think so, though).

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19

There's a part of west Texas where there's only one station on the FM dial -- country, of course.

No,no. I'm sure they had both kinds of music: country aaaand western.

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20

tom: could be. Chris e Kris weren't the only people on MTV Italia, but in a six-guy apartment, they certainly were the most popular.

since Matt W mentioned wierd Maryland radio stations, I thought I'd mention my favorite: driving to my grandparent's for Thanksgiving a couple of years back, my brother and I were somewhere near Thurmont (or Camp David, if you prefer), when a spin through the FM dial turned up a radio station playing a "song" that was dogs barking to techno music. We refer to it with reverence at Thanksgiving to this day.

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21

On the train from Toronto to Vancouver for a few hours in western Ontario the only radio station I could get was in French and seemed to be perpetually playing a bland talk show.

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22

No,no. I'm sure they had both kinds of music: country aaaand western.

For sure. They both tend to fall under "County, Hot New" on your local ClearChannel™ affiliate, though.

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23

I built a crystal radio when I was a kid and the only station I could get was some evangelist preacher admonishing the sinners and heathens. Determined not to have my effort be wasted, I dutifully listened for maybe half an hour. Did more to turn me off of religion than any other single event I can remember.

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24

Did more to turn me off of religion than any other single event I can remember.

That is, aside from the time Father O'Brien killed and ate grandma.

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25

Did this, as Michael put it, satiate his appetite for whitey?

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26

That is, aside from the time Father O'Brien killed and ate grandma.

Hey, I was raised heathen largely because a visiting Episcopal priest stole my mother's antique sewing machine.

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27

That's awful. Losing your antique sewing machine should be something special.

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28

Yup. She never went back to the church.

If I end up in hell it's all Father Whatsisname's fault.

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29

Maybe he just wanted to put a Singer in the hands of an angry god.

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30

Well, as you sew, so shall you reap.

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31

The sewing machine was invented by Isaac not-Bashevis Singer, who may or may not have been Jewish.

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32

Singer didn't invent the sewing machine, and never claimed to have done so.

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33

It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of Heaven.

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34

It depends on how much you lubricate the camel.

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35

35!

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36

But McCormick did invent the reaper.

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37

Who says all of the camel has to go through at the same time?

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38

Ah, but Jethro Tull invented the sower.

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39

Whole-camel transduction isn't necessary, but it is, you have to agree, more satisfying.

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40

Especially with a slicked up blorping camel. A camel bred especially for such blorpal occasions.

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41

Despite the scanty textual evidence, it's accepted among the crackerjackest hermeneuts that Jesus used "the kingdom of Heaven" to refer to his, shall we say, inner sanctum.

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42

In other camel news...

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43

"It also stated that the camel be put down as its meat would now be tainted."

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44

I suppose it's moot to ask whether to camel spit or swallowed?

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45

Something something hump something.

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46

When Ogged gets back, we'll have to remember to ask him how to say, "I want to sex your camel," in Farsi.

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47

You know what's gross? Having sex with a camel? Know what's grosser? Doing it every day. Know what's grosser than that?....actually, I don't think I can stand to get any grosser than that.

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48

It's healthy of you to recoil from thinking of sex with your mom, Michael.

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49

Singer did have a patent fight with some no-name who claimed to have invented the sewing machine, but who cares? If Singer hadn't invented the sewing machine, wouldn't we know who did?

Singer had all of his 20 or so children by 5 or so wives trained in music, and he favored musicians and singers when hiring and promoting for his company. His daughter Winnaretta went to Paris, married two princes in quick succession, and became a patron of the arts. The first marriage was annulled because she refused to sonsummate the marriage.

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50

The woman whose son said he was going to the pool to look at camel toe needs to start worrying again.

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51

Today is not a wizard cocksucker day.

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52

A rare shot of 'Wolfson's mom, in he morning, before she has a chance to "put her face on."

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53

How so, Michaelis?

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54

Everyone! Michael's moving to France!

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55

c'est pas vrai.

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56

Yet more about camels (snuff this time).

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57

It is indeed a true step, and not a misstep in any way, Michael.

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58

How do you like your camel? One hump, or two?

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59

Re 52: Mmmm, MILRATS*.

*Moms I'd like to ride across the Sahara.

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60

Re: 15, one of the grad students was just telling me about how east of El Paso there's a flat, deserted stretch where all the radio stations broadcast a series of announcements saying "Stay awake! Stay awake!" He thought this was ridiculous until one day he woke up and realized he'd driven way off the road--isn't much to stop you once you start going off.

He also said that a guy from around El Paso said that every so often kids from his high school would disappear, and people assumed that they'd just been doing donuts out in the desert and had hit a soft spot and gone through. (At this point I began to think, "This is way too much like an X-files episode.")

And then there was a story--and I don't see how there could possibly be a witness to this--of some kids in a jeep who'd gone up on a hill, and gone through and fallen two miles because the hill was the top of an abandoned mineshaft.

You knew that was how it was going to end, right?

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61

Yeah, that area of Texas is pretty desolate. Nice though.

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62

wtf is "doing donuts"?

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63

Driving a car in very tight circles (so as to leave donut-shaped tire marks? not sure). There are some instructions here (also panty-blogging, if it's a blog). An innocuous gif animation here

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64

wtf is "doing donuts"?

heh, yer not from around here, are ya.

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65

Actually, I lived in Texas for a while, but not out in the desert. And tying this in to the other thread, Austin has a lovely airport. Efficient, almost never crowded - very chill.

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