Re: When Is Apostropher's Birthday?

1

This is the best example I've heard in a long time of the genius of capitalism.

horizontal rule
2

Which is your favorite perk?

Twelve different artisan bacon delivered to your door each month*

Informative notes on all bacon selections

Discounts on Grateful Palate bacon products and bacons

Bacon of the Month Club Membership Card

The Bacon Strip—Our monthly bacon comic strip for members only

The Bacon of the Month Club Pig Ballpoint Pen

A Little Rubber Toy Pig

One free Bacon Tee-Shirt

I'm looking forward to the informative notes, but I can see the weirdness of a rubber pig toy trumping all comers. Bet that comic is hilarious, too.

Coming in on Saturday night doesn't count unless I actually do work, right?

horizontal rule
3

Are you already in, going in, or returning from having been in? This doesn't change the answer, I suppose. If you're going in to be able more discreetly to mark your territory then it doesn't count.

horizontal rule
4

I just got in.

By the way, have we talked about the Pork Dukes yet?

horizontal rule
5

Totally check out this track. Cool.

You had better be working right now, Ben.

horizontal rule
6

Just takin' a bathroom break, boss.

Is your time zone a matter of public record, then? I wasn't sure.

horizontal rule
7

I define "night" broadly, so as to get extra martyr credit.

horizontal rule
8

Isn't anytime after 5pm "night"? This isn't a "late afternoon" "early evening" kinda crowd, is it?

horizontal rule
9

Completely unrelated to anything, but i'm at my cousin's wedding right now. They have internet access at the reception.

My cousin is geekawesome.

That is all.

horizontal rule
10

Boy, that is awesome. Your cousin deserves some bacon.

horizontal rule
11

Clearly, you've never been a member of the Bacon of the Month Club. That is some m-fucking good bacon.

If it's a harbinger of the End Times, I just hope that whether I'm with the lambs or the goats, they're feeding my group bacon that good.

horizontal rule
12

You're a member?! For realz?

horizontal rule
13

I don't know about bacon of the month (I like good apples and oranges but am not in any of those fruit-of-the-month clubs) but if you think artisinal bacon isn't a good thing then you don't know about how bacon used to be made and how it's made (in factories, from factory raised hogs) now.

Calling it "artisinal" is perhaps silly, but I'd rather have bacon made by traditional methods, whether from some redneck smokehouse that's still using those methods, or by someone was learend 'em recently enough to think they're artisinal.

Hog factories, chicken factories, and meat from both sealed in waterlogged packaging seems more like endtimes time me.

horizontal rule
14

I'm just poking fun at calling it "artisanal," not that big-grocery bacon is the bacon standard.

horizontal rule
15

I couldn't find a description of the different varieties, but I'd like to know what they're offering. My grandfather adored onions. Before it caused him heart burn, he would have gladly eaten a bermuda onion like an apple. Someone got him an onion of the month gift certificate which was the perfect present for him.

horizontal rule
16

I realized I was taking it too seriously--my real failing as a commenter.....

Is this more apocalyptic-- Necktie of the month?

Or "nut of the month"....

There's a "weed of the month club" for Florida k-12 librarians use to cut back their collection (Quick! Call Nicholson Baker!). This month's weed? WWII!

horizontal rule
17

Shouldn't it be "the apotropher"?

horizontal rule
18

By the by, bacon differs not just in cooking style, but the location from whence the bacon is cut. Canadian bacon comes from the back, everything else, as far as I'm aware, uses the cut from the stomach.

I figured you jews and muslims might not know that.

horizontal rule
19

Isn't "from whence" pleonastic?

Love,

My Inner Ben

horizontal rule
20

[redacted]

horizontal rule
21

Isn't "from whence" pleonastic??

This is, like, adessed to Weiner or someone else not me, right?

horizontal rule
22

Now can I mention Boston Buns?

horizontal rule
23

No, that *doesn't* mean that he's commenting via blackberry from inside my ass.

Which is also not to say that he isn't.

horizontal rule
24

"From whence" is one of those logical pleonasms with a surprisingly long and distinguished pedigree, i.e., Shakespeare (or another guy by that name) used it.

horizontal rule
25

22. go ahead, mention away.

horizontal rule
26

everything else, as far as I'm aware, uses the cut from the stomach.

So my feelings of fondness toward pork belly is actually dependent on my underlying fondness towards bacon? Interesting.

horizontal rule
27

"pleonasms" sounds dirty.

horizontal rule
28

Interesting

It is?

horizontal rule
29

How about pleonasty?

horizontal rule
30

pork is traif, ben.

horizontal rule
31

29: still dirty.

horizontal rule
32

24 - It's also in the King James Bible.

horizontal rule
33

actually,"the apostopher's" birthday is coming up, Nov. 28th. Sagittarian, don't you know.

thanks for the tip..." no other club in the universe gives you as much pleasure and sheer delight as The Bacon of the Month Club" hmmm...definately sounds right up his alley.

sheer delight indeed.

horizontal rule
34

Mission accomplished!

horizontal rule
35

[redacted]

horizontal rule
36

Now if they can just 'round up some artisinal whores (courtesans?) to come over and cook up that bacon for you, then they'll have a real moneywinner on their hands.

horizontal rule
37

And not to get all preachy, but factory-farmed meat really is an abomination, for the animals themselves, for the poor f&%#ers who work there, for the surrounding communities that have to put up with the massive stench and pollution, for the environment, and, by all indications, for the consumer, healthwise.

The only things it's got going for it is that it's cheap, but that's primarily because the producers get huge water subisidies and don't have to pay for most of the externalities they create.

Bacon of the Month is some pretty damn expensive bacon, but in most areas of the country it's possible to get serious quality bacon, from a local producer who pasture-raises animals, for a lot less.

horizontal rule
38

Bacon from the farmers market in our old home in Illinois was truly a transcendent experience. I hope we can drop the word artisanal from our vocabulary but keep enjoying slow food, hand made by local farms.

horizontal rule
39

Oops. I forgot to get back to this thread earlier.

Yes, ogged, really I was--but no longer am--in the Bacon of the Month Club. It was a gift from my wife. And yes, the bacon is really, really good; it's like a different food from what they sell at the store, almost. Leaner, and with significantly more subtle flavors (though they are also quite salty, like the bacon we all know [well, except our Kosher/Halal/Buddhist friends]).

The people who run the thing have all sorts of unhealthy but delicious "_____ of the Month" clubs, too.

horizontal rule
40

You know, despite the fact that I would never have dreamed of using their services, and would have sneered at anyone I knew who did, when I googled BaconWhores for the link and found out that it was actually a hoax (I had suspected so before when I first saw the site (via, naturally, Teh Apostropher), but then it was just so well done), I felt inexplicably sad.

horizontal rule
41

Bacon can also be made from the shoulder and the jowl. If you ever get a chance to try guanciale (italian jowl bacon), do so.

horizontal rule
42

Japanese sage bacon? Czech mutton bacon? Venezuelan beaver bacon?

horizontal rule
43

Sage doesn't have enough lipids, I think, to be eligible for baconizing.

horizontal rule
44

Sage doesn't have enough lipids, I think, to be eligible for baconizing.

Much less a Japanese sage; those guys practically live on rice and green tea.

horizontal rule
45

Chinese sages (Buddhist monks) have such low body fat that they auto-mummify odorlessly. (The bad smell from cadavers comes from fat). After a month drying out they gild the eminent ones and hang them up in the meditation hall.

Jeremy Bentham, by contrast, required elaborate preparation.

horizontal rule
46

Continuing my trend of being late to every thread:

I can't figure out what's so radical about this bacon.

horizontal rule
47

I think I've mentioned this before, but the most popular property casebook includes a photo of Jeremy Bentham's course in order to illustrate the ways society caters to the desires of the dead.

horizontal rule
48

what's so radical about this bacon.

Its call for state ownership of the means of production, of course.

horizontal rule
49

"course" s/b "corpse"

horizontal rule