Buckley... As a young teenager, I was scarred (or at least deeply bemused) by a sex scene in one of his spy novels. In retrospect, assuming I'm remembering it correctly, I feel kind of sorry for Mrs Buckley.
"Hey guys, wouldn't it be a crazy prank if we could start a political movement in which not caring about or understanding policy is considered a virtue?"
No, but an alternate-universe Queen of England was involved. The troubling scene was supposed to involve the sexual act being prolonged to an almost torturous degree, demonstrating the spy-hero's inhuman powers of sexual endurance. This incredibly prolonged sex act? A counted ten strokes (the hero was symbolically re-enacting a beating he'd received in an English public school).
At fourteen, I read this, and thought "That can't have taken very long... this is what I have to look forward to?"
When "conservative" and "alternate universe" appear in the same thread, I feel obligated to remind everyone of this.
Also: I'm not trying to detract from the ridiculousness of Libby's bear-sex story, but can we all agree that this somehow makes it all seem a little more plausible? I bet those bears get all the tail they can handle.
I should say that it's been literally twenty years since I read the book, so I may be slandering (hmm.. I'm typing) libelling Buckley. But I remember the scene rather vividly, as having been distinctly disturbing.
He rose, extended his hand, and brought her silently into the bedtoom. She pulled away the covers, dropped her yellow gown, and lay on her back as with her left hand she turned off the bedlight. The flames from the fireplace lit her body with a faint flickering glow. She arched back her neck and pointed her firm breasts up at the ceiling, and he was on her, kissing her softly, saying nothing. Her thighs began to heave, and she said in a whisper, "Now." He entered her smoothly, and suddenly a wild but irresistible thought struck him, fusing pleasure and elation—and satisfaction. He moved in deeply, and came back, and whispered to her, teasingly, tenderly, "One."
And a second,
And third,
Fourth,
Fifth,
Sixth—her excitement was now explicit, demanding, but he exercised superhuman restraint—
Seven…
Eight—she was moaning now with pain—
and, triumphantly, nine!
Emphasis in the original. "She pointed her firm breasts up at the ceiling"? For better reception?
This martian kabuki sex would be totally redeemed if it ended with The Count—they call him The Count because he loves to count—saying, Nine! Nine intromissions! Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha! (peals of thunder).
You know, the mechanics of the whole event are more suited to a covert ops challenge-response protocol than anything else. She points her breasts at the ceiling; in recognition, he kisses her silently. If he got this far, she thinks, he must be Agent Wang with the blueprints—but she can't take any chances, so she quivers her thighs, and just like her handler told her he would, Agent Wang thrusts himself into her exactly nine times. Their identities are established.
Does this mean that she's saying "I'm excited! I'm excited!"? Also, shouldn't she be moaning not with pain at the end? Should I even be shooting this enbarrelled fish? ATM.
Is it any wonder that, at fourteen, I was terribly puzzled by this as a representation of normal sexual relations? Conservatives have a lot to answer for.
This is just a symptom of the prioritization of style over policy. Buckley doesn't feel any need to work through the details of his breast-pointing scheme.
and lay on her back as with her left hand she turned off the bedlight.
Any guesses as to why he wrote this instead of the much more natural "and lay on her back as she turned off the bedlight with her left hand"? Maybe that's just what Writing's all about.
But bringing the left-handedness of the action to the fore as he does in the original makes it seem as if there's something important about it. Still present if you rearrange it, of course, but less so because it reads more naturally.
I guess the real question is, why not just "and lay on her back as she turned off the bedlight"?
Our sense that to Blackford, our hero, sex is awkward and unfamiliar, may be only half right. On page 105, we find him at church letting his mind wander:
Blackford missed—for a moment, until he decisively suppressed the nostalgia—the Greyburn College choir, half of it made up of boys from the Lower School with the bel canto soprano voices, half from the throaty Upper School, under the spirited direction of Mr. Clayton, the gifted pianist, organist, and cellist, for whom the boys in the choir would do anything, so transparent was his pleasure when they did it right. He looked at his watch. The services at Greyburn would be over by now—they began at nine—and the boys would be free to do as the pleased for the balance of the morning, the balance of the blissful morning, that went so fast.
Buckley... As a young teenager, I was scarred (or at least deeply bemused) by a sex scene in one of his spy novels. In retrospect, assuming I'm remembering it correctly, I feel kind of sorry for Mrs Buckley.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 1:52 PM
"Hey guys, wouldn't it be a crazy prank if we could start a political movement in which not caring about or understanding policy is considered a virtue?"
"Nah, no one will ever fall for that."
"Ok, I'll be you a coke I can do it."
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 1:58 PM
Was there a bear?
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 1:58 PM
No, but an alternate-universe Queen of England was involved. The troubling scene was supposed to involve the sexual act being prolonged to an almost torturous degree, demonstrating the spy-hero's inhuman powers of sexual endurance. This incredibly prolonged sex act? A counted ten strokes (the hero was symbolically re-enacting a beating he'd received in an English public school).
At fourteen, I read this, and thought "That can't have taken very long... this is what I have to look forward to?"
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 2:04 PM
be s/b bet, it's not my day for commenting
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 2:06 PM
an alternate-universe Queen of England
I have *got* to read more fiction.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 2:10 PM
Particularly by well known conservatives.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 2:14 PM
When "conservative" and "alternate universe" appear in the same thread, I feel obligated to remind everyone of this.
Also: I'm not trying to detract from the ridiculousness of Libby's bear-sex story, but can we all agree that this somehow makes it all seem a little more plausible? I bet those bears get all the tail they can handle.
Posted by tom | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 2:19 PM
I should say that it's been literally twenty years since I read the book, so I may be
slandering(hmm.. I'm typing) libelling Buckley. But I remember the scene rather vividly, as having been distinctly disturbing.Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 2:24 PM
Saving The Queen, right? It was a less than fulfilling sex scene. Now Ayn Rand -- she could write sex scenes.
Posted by bill | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 2:53 PM
well...not really.
Posted by bill | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 3:01 PM
page 238
Posted by Joe O | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 3:09 PM
Yep. That's it. Nine strokes is "superhuman restraint"?
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 3:15 PM
On the other hand, at least ex-CIA guys aren't big on exposing CIA agents.
Posted by Joe O | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 3:15 PM
And I did think that was decent of him.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 3:19 PM
[redacted]
Posted by [redacted] | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 3:26 PM
Check out the Statistically Improbable Phrase.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 3:28 PM
Here's the passage in all its brief glory.
He rose, extended his hand, and brought her silently into the bedtoom. She pulled away the covers, dropped her yellow gown, and lay on her back as with her left hand she turned off the bedlight. The flames from the fireplace lit her body with a faint flickering glow. She arched back her neck and pointed her firm breasts up at the ceiling, and he was on her, kissing her softly, saying nothing. Her thighs began to heave, and she said in a whisper, "Now." He entered her smoothly, and suddenly a wild but irresistible thought struck him, fusing pleasure and elation—and satisfaction. He moved in deeply, and came back, and whispered to her, teasingly, tenderly, "One."
Emphasis in the original. "She pointed her firm breasts up at the ceiling"? For better reception?
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 3:45 PM
Does "one sausage" come up a lot in Buckley's writing? Certainly not as a result, I hope.
And sweet mother of all things holy, did you have to excerpt that? I nearly choked to death on my caffeinated diet beverage!
Posted by TJ | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 4:07 PM
This martian kabuki sex would be totally redeemed if it ended with The Count—they call him The Count because he loves to count—saying, Nine! Nine intromissions! Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha! (peals of thunder).
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 4:12 PM
Now I have extromitted my beverage.
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 4:16 PM
martian kabuki sex
You know, if you separate it from the quoted sex scene, this sounds as if it could be kind of fun.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 4:25 PM
You know, the mechanics of the whole event are more suited to a covert ops challenge-response protocol than anything else. She points her breasts at the ceiling; in recognition, he kisses her silently. If he got this far, she thinks, he must be Agent Wang with the blueprints—but she can't take any chances, so she quivers her thighs, and just like her handler told her he would, Agent Wang thrusts himself into her exactly nine times. Their identities are established.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 4:39 PM
"She pointed her firm breasts up at the ceiling"? For better reception?
Still laughing.
Posted by Ugh | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 4:43 PM
Also related. So many relevant links...
Posted by tom | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 4:45 PM
her excitement was now explicit
Does this mean that she's saying "I'm excited! I'm excited!"? Also, shouldn't she be moaning not with pain at the end? Should I even be shooting this enbarrelled fish? ATM.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 5:02 PM
Her thighs began to heave
I don't think thighs can heave.
I wonder if Buckley has tried this counting thing. I wonder if she laughed at him.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 5:08 PM
You could heave a thigh, though.
ATKFC.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 5:25 PM
Also, shouldn't she be moaning not with pain at the end?
It was the sweet pain of excitement, or something.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 7:08 PM
eins, zwei, drei, vier, funf, sechs, sieben, acht, NEUN!
Posted by fnook | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 9:23 PM
Damn. This blog should be entirely devoted to ridiculing WF Buckley. Or, as I shall now think of him, The Count.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 10:22 PM
Do you want to start with a Brandomian analysis of making her excitement explicit?
No?
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 10:25 PM
[redacted]
Posted by [redacted] | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 10:27 PM
[redacted]
Posted by [redacted] | Link to this comment | 11- 4-05 10:31 PM
"She pointed her firm breasts, like bags of sand, up at the ceiling...."
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 11- 5-05 7:48 AM
Is it any wonder that, at fourteen, I was terribly puzzled by this as a representation of normal sexual relations? Conservatives have a lot to answer for.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11- 5-05 7:59 AM
LB, I really feel bad for your past self.
Let's return again to the "pointing" issue. We begin with the woman in question on her back:
So her breasts are already facing the ceiling. However, the back-arching does some extra work:
How to make sense of this? Are her breasts simply so firm that they can be pointed with a high degree of accuracy?
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 11- 5-05 9:31 AM
NB it's neck-arching, not back-arching, though I suppose that in that posture neck-arching brings back-arching along with it.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 11- 5-05 9:49 AM
Perhaps, her hand now free from its bedlight-extinguishing duties, the lady in question was pointing them with her hands?
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 11- 5-05 10:03 AM
British royalty is trained in highly precise control of the pectoral muscles?
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11- 5-05 10:18 AM
Breasts have different properties in Buckley's sexoverse?
Posted by Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 11- 5-05 10:23 AM
This is just a symptom of the prioritization of style over policy. Buckley doesn't feel any need to work through the details of his breast-pointing scheme.
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 11- 5-05 11:15 AM
and lay on her back as with her left hand she turned off the bedlight.
Any guesses as to why he wrote this instead of the much more natural "and lay on her back as she turned off the bedlight with her left hand"? Maybe that's just what Writing's all about.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 11- 5-05 12:09 PM
Well I think maybe you want to end the sentence with the action. "With her left hand" might be, er, anticlimactic.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 11- 5-05 12:44 PM
But bringing the left-handedness of the action to the fore as he does in the original makes it seem as if there's something important about it. Still present if you rearrange it, of course, but less so because it reads more naturally.
I guess the real question is, why not just "and lay on her back as she turned off the bedlight"?
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 11- 5-05 12:53 PM
Part of the challenge-response protocol? "If I turn the bedlight off with my right hand, abort the mission"?
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 11- 5-05 1:07 PM
Isn't asking why Buckley is employing affected phrasing like asking why Courtney Love looks tipsy?
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 11- 5-05 1:10 PM
Obviously alternate-universe Queen had implants. (Otherwise, they'd sort of flop sideways.)
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 11- 5-05 2:23 PM
It should be noted that one sausage is what connects Buckley to Madeleine Albright.
Posted by ogmb | Link to this comment | 11- 6-05 12:28 AM
Our sense that to Blackford, our hero, sex is awkward and unfamiliar, may be only half right. On page 105, we find him at church letting his mind wander:
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 11- 6-05 1:32 PM
I like this sentence from one of my favorite Deep Thinkers, Ann Althouse:
It’s memorable – I’ve always remembered it since originally reading it.
Is there some sort of insidious plot to start structuring sentences like Bush?
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 11- 6-05 3:19 PM
Are all pundits-cum-novelists no more talented than the average slash fiction author, or is it just the conservatives?
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 11- 6-05 3:25 PM
speaking of, where's Tia?
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 11- 6-05 3:26 PM
We need her now more than ever.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 11- 6-05 3:29 PM
Are all pundits-cum-novelists no more talented than the average slash fiction author, or is it just the conservatives?
Thomas Friedman has not, to my knowledge, written a novel, but I am confident that if he had it would start something like this.
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 11- 6-05 4:57 PM