Re: Much Safer Indoors

1

Didn't the overall's and the red hat with a big M prove that he was Italian?

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2

and the luxurious moustachio

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3

So what are Italians the opposite of?

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4

Scandanavians?

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5

Chinese.

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6

The first episode of X-files is on Sci-fi right now, I've never seen it before.

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7

I asked my Chinese cubemate where she dug holes to growing up.

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8

And?

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9

America. That's kind of a nice symmetry among the youth of our nations.

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10

I need to find out where Iranian kids dig to. Probably some sensitive nuclear site near a large population center.

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11

See various Antipodes.

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12

It is the Chileans who've been digging to China all this time! They too (the Chileans) have luxurious moustachios. Coincidence?

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13

There really isn't very much overlap. Most places, if you dig, you just end up in the ocean somewhere.

That makes me sad and lonely, moreso than the vast desolate expanse of the universe and all that.

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14

They too (the Chileans) have luxurious moustachios.

They are each other's opposites; an eternal return. Quick, someone do some Photoshopping and Labs can post it.

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15

text, if you're going to get all literal, you might want to worry about that molten core.

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16

Does this explain Nixon's geopolitics? Only Nixon could go to China, but only the Chileans could dig to China. Therefore...

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17

I want to think that if I dig enough, I'll end up in a jolly foreign place, and they will greet me "hail good fellow!" in their nonsense tongue, and we will do jolly nonsensical things, and eat things that shouldn't be eaten. All this will be performed upside-down, and I'll have a swell time until my mom calls me for dinner, through the tunnel.

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18

that molten core

Nuts to that, it's full of art.

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19

now where's my spoon?

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20

only the Chileans could dig to China. Therefore...

Holy moley! Henry Kissinger's got some 'splaining to do.

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21

Did you buy the suits? Also, did the Italian encroach upon your personal space? I don't know what the Persian rules are about personal space.

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22

The Italian was in his car, thankfully. Iranians don't seem to believe in personal space, but I'm thoroughly westernized in this regard. I need about a baseball bat swing's worth of space in all directions at all times.

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23

I'm thoroughly westernized in this regard. I need about a baseball bat swing's worth of space

I think this makes you ultra-Westernized:

In a line or queue at a store or bank, Americans leave between a foot and a half and four feet (.5-1.3 meters) between themselves and the person ahead of them.

It must be true, there are numbers.

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24

I need about a baseball bat swing's worth of space in all directions at all times.

This probably explains why you're having trouble resetting your TiVo...

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25

According to Auden, the British only need about a foot:

Some thirteen inches from my nose,

The frontier of my person goes

And all the empty space between

Is private pagus or demesne.

Stranger, unless with bedroom eyes

I beckon you to fraternize

Beware of rudely crossing it:

I have no gun, but I can spit.

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26

I need about a baseball bat swing's worth of space in all directions at all times..

That's all times.

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27

So you're saying you bought the suits.

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28

I chose my words carefully, Mr. Weiner. It hasn't kept me from getting my schwerve on in the past, however. IYKWIM.

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29

Is that a schwarma inflected "getting my swerve on"?

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30

It has to be "shwerve" "schwerve." It can't be "swerve."

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31

Read yer David Hume, Ogged. Past game is not necessarily indication of future game.

(Apropos of nothing, isn't Becks in D.C. some of the time?)

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32

And shwarma is an Arab food, bigot.

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33

isn't Becks in D.C. some of the time?

Maybe, but I have an incompatible prior engagement.

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34

Oh, I see. The baseball bat.... represents something.

I would prefer to be well over a baseball bat away from Mr. Ogged, thank you.

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35

Probably formed similiarly to a baseball bat, but quite a bit smaller. With "Qum Slugger" engraved on the side, after the holy city of Iranian baseball.

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36

"Qum Slugger" is awesome John, and buys you a few more frivolous posts.

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37

33: *bangs head against wall*

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38

Re 25: LB, what poem is that from?

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39

Shiraz... Hormuz... Tabriz... Kerman....

It took hours. Teh Ran would have been too obvious, of course.

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40

Re: 38

I think that's the whole thing -- can't remember the title offhand.

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41

37: Can I really give you brain damage by not dating? This is a new and great power.

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42

Did ogged claim, in 33, that he is so irresistible that if he were simply to meet Becks he would no longer be single?

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43

You, washerdreyer, clearly DNWIM.

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44

Back to the original topic, I think that same guy tried to sell me those suits, but in Dublin. And the following day, a popular radio call-in show was full of encounters with him. Now that I know of ogged's new and great powers, I suspect he summoned up the Italian (from Italy) guy.

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45

#42: No, he didn't. But I think your question raises another: are female commenters (like Swedes before them) going to be distraught if ogged comes to their city and refuses to have sex with them? I, for one, think this place would be far poorer without the CwO, and thus believe that ogged must, for the good of Unfogged, either (a) disguise his whereabouts at all times, or (b) promise to have sex with any CwO who so desires it.

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46

Fortunately, that should be an easy promise to keep.

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47

Ben, I'm sorry I gave you cancer.

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48

I hate to say it, but in the 46-47 exchange, I give the round to Wolfson on points. I think he cut you, ogged.

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49

Ogged convicted himself. For all he knows I meant that all the female commenters here are highly attractive, don't squeak, etc.

Confidence, ogged. You've got to have confidence.

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50

Oh, he knows what you meant Wolfson. Our Persian friend is nothing if not clever when it comes to perceiving slights.

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51

Apparently they are all thin waisted, gigantic breasted, atheletic women with doctorates in nuclear physics, so a little lack of confidence is understandable.

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52

The mystery is why Ben takes my 47 to be hostile.

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53

I think you dropped a decimal point.

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54

No, he just forgot the unit of measurement (millimeters).

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55

This is really not your best work, guys. Despite being tag-teamed, I'm not feeling a thing.

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56

Sorry, wolfson, but the answer is not responsive. We journalists call that a non-denial denial.

On a happier note, did you hear Scott McClellan may be contemplating retirement? Maybe there's gaggling in your future.

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57

Re #55, perhaps that's because we haven't had the free time to work on our Larry David impressions, perfect our goggle tans and not get laid.

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58

Despite being tag-teamed, I'm not feeling a thing.

His junk is so numb he can't tell if he's laid / Is it the booze or 'cause his bozack is flayed?

Snees, I can't tell what you're talking about in 56.

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59

Oh, come now, wolfson, did he or did he not give you cancer by injection? I refer to the Wizard Cocksucker post, but I can't remember how to hyperlink it.

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60

58: Ok, now I'm pwned.

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61

I told you you were cut, ogged. You were bleeding, man, and I tried to help, but you were too proud to listen.

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62

Luxurious mustachios?

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